Behind the scenes in Kia's Tasman Town

News.com.au

6 hours ago

How many sports stars does it take to convince Australians that Kia can make a good, off-road, dual cab ute? The South Korean car manufacturer – better known for their sensible SUVs – clearly thinks the answer is a lot.
Last week, for the launch of its first-ever ute, the Tasman, Kia shipped Alex Volkanovski, Lance Franklin, David Boonie, Damien Oliver, Alfie Langer, Steve Waugh, Dane Swan, Nathan Hindmarsh and Darren Lockyer to a small country town in the Central West of New South Wales.
A truly impressive bevy of athletes. Some of the biggest names in Australian sport.
And they were all brought together to participate in what might best be described as a night of improvisational theatre.
No, really.
For the launch, Kia took over Sofala, a historic gold rush town with a population of around 100 people, and transformed it into 'Tasman Town', the imaginary destination featured in their ads. I was one of a few dozen motoring writers and media types who were invited along for the event.
On arrival, we were greeted as though we were newcomers to the area, interested in buying a local property. To help us get acquainted with the town, an actor, playing the local mayor, gave us a tour of the main street.
Along the way, we were introduced to a few of the 'residents'.
These were, of course, the athletes who were in character as … well … themselves. But versions of themselves who drove Kias, worked trades, and lived in a fake town.
Frankly, I call this non-consensual improvisation.
Usually, I would gnaw off my own hand to avoid it. Kia, perhaps being one step ahead of dissidents like myself, were mercifully quick to distribute beer and wine to prevent any such drastic actions.
Certainly, some athletes were more comfortable in their acting roles than others.
UFC Featherweight Champion Alex Volkanovski – pretending to a butcher – was a standout performer. I suppose if your actual job is beating men into a pulp with your knuckles, all other gigs are comparatively easy.
A few actual Sofala residents were also involved in the show. They had the important job of walking ponies and goats up and down the street. You know, just like any ordinary country town. The rest of the locals had gathered at the pub, schooners in hand, to watch the palaver unfold. Their faces were inscrutable as the media pack shuffled past.
Once the mandatory theatre component of the evening had concluded, guests and the sporting icons were free to mingle.
This, I realise, would be a dream event for many Australians.
Unfortunately, as someone with terrible facial memory and a dearth of knowledge on any non car-related sport, I was in a personally-tailored horror story. Every conversation was socially fraught. Did this person look familiar because I've met them at a car launch?
Or are they an Australian sporting legend whom I should absolutely know?
There were a million ways for a person like me to socially embarrass themselves. Inevitably, it wasn't long before I found one.
During the evening's formal dinner, the person assigned to the place next to me sat down, shook my hand and asked, 'Who are you?'.
This was an aggressive start to a conversation, I thought. I fired back, 'I'm Stephanie, who are you?'
To which he replied, very politely, that he was Nathan Hindmarsh, one of the footy players. Also, he clarified, he'd asked me how are you, not who are you.
Hindmarsh then proceeded to further shame me by being thoroughly funny and charming for the rest of the evening.
The Tasman launch was an extravaganza, but I was obviously not the target audience.
The fact that no female sporting stars were present – even though they featured in some of the ads – is further evidence of this fact. If Kia has a vision board for the Tasman, dead centre is a caricature of an Aussie tradesman.
Their method for appealing to these men – getting high-profile sporting heroes to pretend to be tradies – is borderline patronising.
But Kia is not in a position to take any serious creative risks. They need the Tasman to work in Australia.
This is no small task. Kia is entering a very established, highly-competitive dual cab ute market late in the day, and with a car that is being thoroughly panned online for its boxy, brutalist design.
Kia has decided to align itself with winners.