Like father, like spender. What's your financial DNA?

News24

13-06-2025

Father's Day brings mixed emotions across South Africa. While some celebrate the men who taught them to ride bikes and told terrible jokes, for many—the day highlights a different reality. With a significant percentage of households lacking present fathers or traditional father figures, the concept of paternal influence takes on broader, more complex meanings.
Yet financial DNA—those money habits and attitudes we absorb growing up—comes from somewhere. Whether from a present father, a grandfather, an uncle, an older sibling, a mother playing dual roles, or another guardian figure, our financial behaviours are shaped by those who raised us.
This Father's Day, let's reflect on these influences, regardless of their source, and consider how they continue to shape our financial lives.
The money habits we inherit without realising
Think about it – how did the adults in your household approach money? Was there someone who meticulously saved? Someone who spent freely? Or perhaps there were conflicting money messages from different influential people in your life?
Recent research suggests these patterns leave a deeper impression than we might think. According to a 2024 MoneySmart survey of 1,000 adults:
• 78% of people who watched their caregivers save diligently now do the same themselves
• 63% who grew up with impulsive shoppers have picked up identical habits
• 59% raised by over-spenders continue to struggle with overspending
'We inherit far more from our role models than we might realise,' explains Lee Hancox, Head of Channel and Segment Marketing at Sanlam. 'Their attitudes towards money, their spending and saving patterns, and even the conversations they had – or didn't have – about finances at home all contribute to our own financial blueprint.'
The most surprising part? Most of these habits form before we're even aware of them.
The emotional money connection we don't talk about
Money isn't just about numbers – it's deeply emotional.
Think about how you feel when your bank account is comfortable versus when you're stretching to make ends meet. That emotional response has roots that likely go back to your childhood and the financial environment you grew up in. 'Whether we like it or not, we can all be emotional about money,' Hancox notes. 'If you grew up in a household where money was a constant source of stress, you might find yourself overly anxious about expenses, even when financially stable. Or you might swing the other way, spending impulsively as a reaction.' Quick reflection: Take a moment this season to consider: - How did money discussions feel in your childhood home? Tense? Non-existent? Matter-of-fact? - Who had the strongest influence on your money attitudes growing up? - When you make a large purchase now, do you feel guilt? Excitement? Anxiety? - How similar are these responses to what you observed in your household?
Breaking the chain: Building your own financial legacy
Understanding these patterns doesn't mean you're destined to repeat them. Recognising your inherited financial tendencies is actually the first step toward taking control.Here's how you can start reshaping your financial DNA:
1. Decode Your Money Personality
What kind of financial personality did you inherit? Are you a 'Prepared Protector' like someone who raised you, or did you develop a different approach and become a 'Spontaneous Buyer'?
Sanlam's Money Personalities quiz can help you understand your money type.
2. Start Talking About Money
If money was a taboo subject in your home growing up, you have the power to change that pattern for the next generation.
'We need to get better at talking to our children about finances from a young age,' Hancox advises. 'This openness isn't just about teaching – it's about building a healthy relationship with money.'
Simple ways to start include explaining basic shopping decisions while at the shop, involving children in age-appropriate budget discussions, celebrating saving milestones together, being honest (in age-appropriate ways) about financial challenges
Read more| How SA moms are revolutionising family finances
3. Create New Financial Habits
Small, consistent actions build powerful new patterns. Start by establishing a budget that reflects your values, not just inherited habits. Set clear financial goals (both short-term and long-term).
4. Model What You Wish You'd Seen
Remember that the children in your life are watching and learning from your financial behaviours – just as you did with the adults who raised you.
'Teaching good money habits is ongoing,' says Hancox. 'It takes patience, persistence, and repetition.'
This season, as Father's Day approaches, take a moment to reflect on the financial influences in your life – whoever they came from. For those who had present fathers, this might mean acknowledging the direct impact they had. For those raised by single mothers, grandparents, or extended family, it means recognising the powerful financial lessons that came from these equally important relationships.