
Alligator Alcatraz will get the thumbs up from Trump's Maga supporters
On special occasions, vast amphitheatres would be filled with water and real boats used to stage mock naval battles, and with hippopotamuses and crocodiles thrown in for a bit of added jeopardy. The Coliseum itself would be used for such a naumachia, with fleets of vessels battling it out. You can imagine the glee in crowds with which some poor unfortunate would lose his footing and be consumed by a hungry croc, screaming in agony, blood and giblets everywhere.
Such elaborate games were one method by which an emperor could show off his wealth and power, at the same time as giving the people he ruled something to take their minds off their more mundane problems, with some free grain to show he cared. 'Bread and circuses', as the ruling strategy was called.
Now, I'm no Mary Beard, and I'm not saying this is what Donald Trump is doing in the Florida Everglades at the moment, but the performative cruelty is more than a little reminiscent of a Roman emperor seeking ways to entertain himself and his people.
His new facility for detaining deportees, 'Alligator Alcatraz' comes from an imagination every bit as sadistic as any in the ancient world. Indeed, it is far grander than anything Nero or Claudius ever dreamt up.
The 39-square-mile site was grabbed with imperial ease using emergency powers and will house some 5,000 detainees in tents and cages. It's a swampland with temperatures reaching 38 degrees on a regular, sustained basis. America's new model penitentiary will be surrounded by alligators, Burmese pythons and swarms of mosquitos. Escape means near-certain death. If the heat doesn't get you, the animals will.
What's more, Trump likes it that way. He thinks it's amusing. 'We're going to teach them how to run away from an alligator if they escape prison. 'Don't run in a straight line, run like this…'' (Trump's tiny hand makes a zig-zag motion) 'And, you know what? Your chances go up about one per cent.'
Human despair and suffering. Hilarious.
Trump's house of horrors also goes one better than the Roman emperors, because there's now Alligator Alcatraz merch – baseball caps, T-shirts and, who knows, latex alligator head masks – all to celebrate the terror of people whose only crime was to seek a better life and are being deported without due process.
On his tour of Alligator Alcatraz, Trump – again, like the most nonchalant Roman tyrant – said he could start deporting criminals who had been naturalised as Americans: 'It's controversial, but I couldn't care less.' All the guy needs now is a toga.
They probably don't need to, but the entire site could be fitted with CCTV, plus a whole squadron of drones with cameras and night-vision capability. It'll also have those swamp patrol baits with the huge propellers on the back. They could have cameras, too. All you need, in other words, for a new reality TV show.
Any escapee could be filmed trying to find freedom before getting crushed to death by a python, say, and it can all be packaged up for a weekly slot for Fox News, with clips rights going to Truth Social: 'Escape from Alligator Alcatraz (Or Not)'.
The shame of all this isn't that what Trump is doing is horrid and senseless, or that it's just another expensive stunt: the capacity is too small to make much difference to what Karoline Leavitt, consul to emperor Trump, calls 'the largest mass deportation campaign in American history'. We're used to Trump doing stuff like that.
The sobering thing is that it is precisely what the president's base desires. It's what they voted for. When people say that it allows us to treat human beings that way, the Maga people reply that they're fine with it. If you say it's fascist, then they're happy to take a slice of that, with Donald's special dressings on top.
A good half or so of the American electorate decided to put this guy in power, not once but twice, and almost three times – even after they discovered what a monster he was. Actually, because they discovered what a monster he was.
They are cool with it – just as they aren't bothered about the rest of the world, what it thinks or what goes on there. As long as they get their bread and circuses, Trump can give a thumbs down to human rights as much as he likes.
Don't be surprised if they turn out to be unreliable allies. They're busy enjoying the Alligator Alcatraz show.

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