'Don't turn into an ATM for your kids': Financial advisor share a big wakeup call for middle-class parents
parents
risk their retirement security by giving away large parts of their retirement funds to their adult children without proper planning. Girish Agrawal, a former income tax officer and now a mutual fund advisor for PSU retirees, has warned about this growing trend in a LinkedIn post that has sparked conversation among working professionals and retirees alike.
Love, guilt, and financial strain
Agrawal shared a familiar story of a government officer who retires with ₹1 crore after years of service. But soon after retirement, requests for money begin. One child needs funds for a startup. Another's spouse wants to open a franchise. Without a financial plan, the retired officer hands over large sums, driven by love and emotional guilt.
The outcome is often disappointing. 'He became the ATM for everyone else… and forgot to keep cash for himself,' Agrawal writes. 'This is not generosity. This is financial self-neglect, wrapped in emotional guilt.'
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Children ask for capital, not responsibility
According to Agrawal, many adult children ask their parents for financial help without understanding the long-term pressure it puts on their parents. Businesses supported by this money often struggle to give returns, leaving the retiree financially insecure.
'No structured withdrawal plan, no pension, no safety net—just mounting anxiety and shrinking savings,' Agrawal notes. Without regular income, the retired parent may find it difficult to meet daily expenses.
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Secure your own future first
Agrawal recommends that retirees should first create an income plan that will support them for the next 25–30 years. Any financial help given to children should be treated like a business transaction—with clear documentation, repayment terms, and boundaries.
'Your children love you—but they don't know how tight your runway is,' he writes. 'Your children will respect you more when you live with dignity, not dependency. You owe yourself a peaceful retirement. You don't have to buy it with guilt.'
The importance of communication and boundaries
Agrawal's advice highlights the need for open family conversations about money and retirement. By setting boundaries and putting their own needs first, parents can avoid turning their retirement years into a time of stress.
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