'Women have to take care ...' Sharmila Tagore's daughter Soha reveals the secret behind superstar's 43-year-old marriage to Tiger Pataudi

Economic Times

2 days ago

Synopsis
Sharmila Tagore, a celebrated actress, balanced her career and family life. She shared her relationship philosophy with her daughter, Soha Ali Khan. Sharmila believed in mutual respect, acknowledging emotional needs and male pride. Soha and Neha Dhupia found this guidance helpful in their marriages. Soha also recalled her brother Saif Ali Khan's longing for their mother during her acting career.
Agencies Sharmila Tagore's Balancing Act: Legacy, Lessons, and Lifelong Love Sharmila Tagore, once among the most celebrated leading ladies of Indian cinema, took a path that was unconventional for many of her peers. In 1968, she married legendary cricketer Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi. Despite the expectations of the era—where most actresses stepped back from the spotlight post-marriage—Sharmila carved her own course. She continued to act while managing family responsibilities, raising children, and supporting her husband's public life. Her ability to navigate fame and domesticity has long been appreciated, but behind her graceful presence was a personal principle that guided her approach to relationships. She eventually passed down this philosophy to her daughter, actor and author Soha Ali Khan.
In a recent interaction with The Hollywood Reporter India , Soha opened up about this guidance from her mother. She shared that Sharmila believed mutual respect within a marriage relied on acknowledging each other's emotional needs. According to Sharmila, while a man should be mindful of a woman's emotional world, a woman should be sensitive to a man's pride. Soha, who is married to actor Kunal Kemmu, explained that embracing this viewpoint helped her maintain balance and harmony in her own marriage. She also acknowledged that contemporary perspectives may differ, with many emphasizing that both genders possess egos and emotions. Nevertheless, Sharmila's insight remained meaningful to her, offering clarity through the complexities of long-term relationships. 'My mother told me that women should take care of the man's ego, and a man should take care of a woman's emotions. If you're able to do that, then you are going to have a long and successful relationship. A lot of people today will feel men also have emotions and women also have egos, but that advice has stood me in good stead..." she said. Soha also noted the importance of friendship in marriage, especially when navigating the pressures of daily life. She emphasized that placing all emotional expectations solely on a spouse could strain the bond, and that having a broader support system is key to lasting intimacy.Actress Neha Dhupia, who participated in the same conversation, echoed Soha's sentiments. She recalled receiving similar advice from Soha before her own marriage to actor Angad Bedi. Neha mentioned how she was cautioned about the delicacy of male egos and encouraged to be mindful in communication. Over the years, Neha admitted she has learned to be selective in disagreements and has come to value the preservation of friendship within marriage. She described the journey as ongoing, requiring consistent effort to prevent the relationship from becoming fragile.Soha also reflected on her childhood, sharing memories of how her brother, actor Saif Ali Khan, often missed their mother during her peak acting years. She remembered instances when Sharmila would rush home to see him, only to be met with resistance and hurt because of his longing. These moments of emotional strain revealed the hidden costs of balancing professional ambition with motherhood.Sharmila and Mansoor remained married until his death in 2011. After a long pause, she returned to Hindi cinema in the 2023 family-oriented film Gulmohar and also reappeared in Bengali cinema with Puratawn, a psychological drama—marking her return to regional films after two decades.