Romance scams roundup: All of the romance scams you should know to keep your heart and bank safe

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4 days ago

Romance scams roundup: All of the romance scams you should know to keep your heart and bank safe
It's a sad fact, but true — so many of today's most common scams work by preying on and exploiting trust, and our most human emotions. And that's even more true when it comes to online dating scams and romance scams, which take advantage of victims at their most vulnerable to break hearts and break the bank, too.
There's no shame in falling for romance scams — the FTC reports at least 70,000 cases per year, with annual financial losses totaling about $1.3 billion — but there's also no shame in protecting your heart as best you can. If you've met someone new and want to make sure they are who they say they are, try running a quick background check before things get serious. Online dating can be scary enough as it is; Spokeo shares these common romance scams to keep an eye out for so you can focus less on heartbreak and more on feeling the love.
Catfishing: Not Romantic At All
While not all online dating scams are catfishing, the vast majority of them certainly are. Catfishing is the sketchy practice of hiding behind a fake online persona to mislead someone, and it's most commonly associated with two things: exploiting romantic interests and scamming people out of their money. In the case of catfishing romance scams, that's a one-two combo.
This is where your Tinder scams, Bumble scams, Hinge scams, sliding-into-your-DMs scams, and the like typically fall. In this case, a potential romantic interest appears, complete with a fake profile, fake pics, and a fake (but often convincing) backstory. After a flirtation that can last anywhere from minutes to months, the catfisher comes for your money. That's usually when the scam goes from catfishing to catphishing, where phishing is the act of fooling you into divulging your private information (like passwords or bank account numbers) in order to target your finances.
While that's the basic format of many online dating scams, catfishing-based romance scams come in a wide variety of flavors. And none of them are any good.
Military Romance Scams
Catfishing romance scammers might cook up an entirely fictional online persona, or even an AI-generated one, or they might appropriate pics and details from an existing, real-world person. In any case, one of their favorite types of people to impersonate is military personnel.
For grifters, a faux military profile accomplishes a lot. It can easily appeal to the victim's empathy, plus it offers plenty of excuses for why they never can seem to meet in person (a hallmark of catfish) or why a long-distance relationship is more convenient. When the time comes to get money out of the victim — a process that can go on for months — the military-themed scammer commonly uses excuses like paying for internet, retirement planning or travel costs (none of which are expenses for people enlisted in real life).
Oil Rig Scams
This catfishing theme is very similar to military romance scams: Long story short, it's convenient for scammers to claim to be an oil rigger or someone of a similar occupation who likely works in a remote locale, doesn't have regular internet access, and has to travel for long periods. These types of rugged, dangerous occupations are also ripe for making monetary requests under the guise of medical and travel expenses. Similarly, faux lovers claiming to be international workers use the guise to ask for money to travel to you, or to get their goods through customs.
Take one guess as to where that money actually ends up.
Steamier Scammers
Some catfishing-based romance scams really emphasize the romance. For instance, in one especially sneaky type of hustle, the con artist poses as a sugar mama or sugar daddy. It's common for these scammers to promise money in exchange for risque pics, which they can then use as ammunition for blackmail. Or, they might do a variation of an age-old scam where they pay you a large amount of money, and then ask for some back — sure enough, the money you've received is typically from a bum source, like a stolen credit card, so the funds will bounce, leaving you holding the bag.
Scammers posing as widows or widowers are also all too common. Like military romance scams, these follow the traditional catfishing-to-catphishing pipeline, but they emphasize a particularly common element of online dating scams: they often involve a sob story to help motivate victims to reach into their pockets.
Not Catfish, But Still Fishy
Not all romance scams revolve around catfishing. Unfortunately, you'll find that scammers are a pretty creative lot. Wish we saw that same energy when it came to first date ideas from real people on dating apps, but in any case, be wary of these common types of online dating scams:
Crypto Scams
Because it's so difficult to trace, crypto can be a big red flag when it comes to online scams in general. In this instance, the fake bae gains your trust, then convinces you to invest in what they pitch as a surefire crypto deal. The twist is, the crypto app they're so excited about is often a bespoke (and very fake) app they've created to funnel your funds. Of course, sometimes they'll just take your money via a straight-up Zelle or wire transfer.
Bogus Dating Sites
Similar to creating a phony crypto app to funnel money right into their own bank account, it's not below romance scammers to create entire dating websites just to hustle unsuspecting romantics. These sham sites pump up your confidence by plying you with matches, but beware of sign-up processes that ask a suspicious amount of finance-related questions or want you to divulge things that could be used to commit identity theft, like answers to common security questions ('what was the name of your first pet?').
Otherwise, fraudulent dating sites might take your money by asking you to pay for perks while matching you with nothing but bots. Or they might keep it simple and just infect your device with phishing malware, or take your credit card info. On the latter note, some romance scams simply rely on tricking you into clicking a link to infectious malware, and that link can be delivered anywhere, from Tinder scams to Bumble scams to DM, text, or email scams.
Verification Scams
This one's a bit different from the other online dating scams covered here. In a verification scam, criminals will pose as official communications channels for popular dating apps (this is also often called spoofing). You might get a message claiming to be from Tinder, for example, asking you to click a link to 'verify your account,' which requires you to input private information, like passwords, social security numbers, or financial data. As you may have guessed, that info isn't going to Tinder, it's going to creepy phishers.
Remember, this online dating scam isn't limited to Tinder. Scammers will adopt the guise and branding of whatever's popular at the time, so it could be a Hinge scam, a Bumble scam, a Coffee Meets Bagel scam — you get the idea.
Better Safe Than Heartbroken
Love really is a battlefield, but you don't have to storm the beaches unarmed. While it's clear that romance scams come in as many varieties as there are phish in the sea, keep an eye out for these red flags to protect your heart:
An unwillingness to meet in person or to take video calls.
A little too much emphasis on keeping things private.
'Love bombing,' or bombarding you with compliments and affection, or accelerating the relationship at warp speed right from the jump — this is a tactic to gain your trust and confidence, and to exploit your vulnerability.
Inconsistencies in your match's story, or consistently evading questions.
Photos that look too polished or AI-generated, or that seem stolen (try a reverse Google Image search and see if any hits come up).
Fairy tale romances that seem too good to be true.
Any and all asks for money or private information from any person (or bot) you've never met in the real world.
When those red flags add up, act quickly to block and report the scammer on whatever platform you're on, and contact your bank ASAP if any money has begun changing hands. You can also head to ReportFraud.ftc.gov to report scams — or better yet, avoid divulging funds or private info to online strangers in the first place.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you're still curious about romance scams, you're not alone. Some of the most commonly searched questions for romance scams include:
Will a romance scammer talk on the phone?
Typically, no. Catfishers will make a variety of excuses to avoid meeting in person, talking on the phone, or video chatting, often kicking the can down the road indefinitely. In the rare circumstance in which they do give you a call, try running their digits through a reverse phone lookup to see if they really are who they claim to be.
If they don't ask for private information like your bank account or credit card numbers, passwords, or other personally identifying info, they might ask for money directly. Asking for crypto investments, wire transfers, or peer-to-peer payments are also massive romance scam red flags.
What are common romance scammer phrases?
Romance scammers will say anything to get you to trust them — and, in some cases, fall in love with them — as quickly as possible. Some romance scammer favorites include, 'I feel like I've known you forever,' 'you're the only one who understands me,' 'I can't wait to start a life with you,' and 'I've never felt this way about anyone else.' Basically, it's a love-bombing vibe.
All's fair in love and war, but romance scammers throw the concept of 'fair' right out the window. Level the playing field.
This story was produced by Spokeo and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.
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