Energy dips, gray hairs and hope: What 36 looks like now

Yahoo

6 days ago

As anyone who has ever gone through it will tell you, hitting your mid-30s brings on a life shift. Like it or not, you are no longer the ingenue; you're a bona fide adult with kids (maybe), a mortgage (possibly) and fine lines (almost certainly). Your 40s are closer than your 20s, hangovers are more brutal and the aches and pains you've always shaken off after a day or two now tend to … linger.
A study recently published in the Annals of Medicine adds some scientific evidence to back up those feelings. According to the 30-year study, which assessed both physical and mental health, age 36 is when many of the choices we made as younger people begin showing up in our bodies and minds. People who smoke or drink heavily, eat poorly or put off exercise often begin seeing significant health repercussions by the time they hit 36. Essentially, age 36 is a turning point for the process of aging.
This news made us think about what it really means to be 36 — both physically and emotionally — and how 36-year-olds think about themselves at this stage of life. (And, OK, what face cream are they using?) Here's what seven women told us.
Around the ages of 33 to 35, I became aware of changes to my body and face. I started noticing new lines on my face. Then a couple of months ago, I woke up one morning, and my arms just felt different. You hear people talk about losing muscle mass as you approach 40, and I have not been consistent about getting movement in. I do take long walks, and I'm now trying to be more consistent with lifting weights.
In terms of other self-care stuff, I dry brush my body, apply facial oil and do gua sha. Sunscreen is a must, and I'm seeking out clean brands and swapping products accordingly. I apply retinol to my face, neck and backs of my hands about one to two times a week. I also journal and am incorporating more meditation. I don't plan to get Botox, so I actively avoid smoking, drinking, tanning and any other vices that I hear contribute to aging.
I'm grateful for the freedom my journey to 36 has brought. I'm self-employed, divorced and on the brink of a dream move abroad. I'm not a mother, but I'm a proud auntie. Sometimes, I feel old and like so much life has passed. Other times, I feel like my life is only just beginning.
The age when I saw the most physical changes to my body was 34, right after I had my daughter. My body changed, and silver strands appeared in my hair. Now at 36, I have extra weight around my midsection, but I'm trying to give myself grace while also focusing on strength training. Professionally, I run my own podcast, and entrepreneur-and-toddler life is a workout all its own.
As for other ways I take care of myself, for the last 20 years I've sworn by the Clinique 3-step skin care system: cleanser, clarifying lotion and Dramatically Different moisturizer, morning and night. I don't smoke or tan, and I only drink on special occasions, usually a single glass of wine or champagne when celebrating.
Looking back at photos from my 20s shows me just how drastically my other priorities in life have shifted. Being 36 means motherhood first and work second. It means I'm building a life that fits my family, not squeezing my family into my life around my work.
As a longtime wellness enthusiast and former beauty editor, my self-care and beauty routines were very involved. More recently, they've become more intentional and health-conscious. As a new mom, self-care feels like taking the time to get a thorough massage after a few intense workouts, strength training so I can feel stronger, getting a professional blowout and investing in biweekly mani-pedis. It also looks like eating nourishing meals coupled with supplements to make sure I'm giving my body what it needs.
My beauty routine has shifted to double-cleansing my face, especially on days when I wear a face full of makeup. I also consistently exfoliate and rotate serums and eye creams for firming and brightness. I also always moisturize and use sunscreen.
In terms of cosmetic treatments, I got a little under-eye filler a few years back to treat under-eye bags—but it may be time for a refill. Thirty-six is definitely the age when I've noticed the most change. I'm starting to see changes in my face — it's not as firm and tight — and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. My hair has also grown its longest but sheds more than ever before. These things don't necessarily bother me, but I've noticed them all the most at 36.
For me, being well-fed and rested are the secrets to youthfulness. I tend to be obsessive about getting at least eight hours of sleep. Likewise, if I don't eat 'clean' I can absolutely feel the reverberations of that soon after. It's no longer worth it to me to feel bad in ways that I can control.
That said, I still drink some alcohol. I wish I could give up my wine on the weekends for the sake of my health, but I'm not emotionally ready for that yet.
My early 30s were the most dramatic shift in my physical appearance. It was like pressing a button, and my metabolism shut down. I now have to work very hard to stay fit, but on the flip side, if I work too hard, it's counterproductive to my body and produces a lot of stress.
Thirty-six feels like a big change physically too because I had a baby (unexpected C-section) at 35-and- a-half, and just about everything is now different physically. Since then, my hair has grayed significantly, every bit of my torso has morphed and my energy levels are currently nonexistent. But as I step into my late 30s, I feel newly invigorated to grasp on to youthfulness. Not in a desperate or aesthetic way, but rather to find the energy to keep doing all the things I love.
Thirty-six is a transformative year. For many of us, careers are more stable, we've got a kid or two — in my case, two little ones — and we're starting to think about what the next 36 years should look like. Social media makes aging feel like something to fight, not embrace. It pushes this idea that you have to do everything to avoid looking your age, and most of it is fake and insanely expensive.
My self-care routine is pretty simple. I don't do fancy facials or regular nail appointments, and my go-to moisturizer is an $8 tube of Vanicream (holy grail status). I started Botox at 26 — just 15 units in my forehead and crow's feet, maybe once or twice a year if I'm lucky. I never skip washing my face at night, and I slather on a Korean skin care product before bed, especially on my neck.
I'll also admit to the occasional spray tan. In my teens, though, I spent way too many hours in tanning beds, especially during visits to my grandma in Florida. If the sun wasn't out, she'd take us to the tanning salon so we'd come home glowing.
Looking toward the future, I've thought about plastic surgery but not for another eight to 10 years. I believe small tweaks can help slow the aging process. A full facelift isn't for me, but a few minor procedures might be on the table as I get closer to 50.
My mother and I were mistaken for sisters until I was about 25. Both my parents look far younger than their ages, and people have commented on that for years. I never thought much of that until I enjoyed receiving the same compliment. When I tell people I was born in 1988, they have genuine disbelief in their faces.
I have made my mistakes, however. In 2017, when the social media influencer was at its peak of power, I was convinced to start getting Botox in my forehead and 11s, and Juvéderm filler in my lips. I stopped getting the injections about two years ago simply because I wanted to go a more nontoxic route.
In my 20s I'd fall for every skin care trend and was weirdly proud of how many 'steps' my routine 'required.' A few years ago, a company reached out to me and paid me to review one of their skin care products. The product contained a topical steroid and caused me to break out in a horrific case of perioral dermatitis. I had to stop using literally everything … I couldn't even wear makeup for several months. After ruining my skin barrier, I started rebuilding my routine, which now consists of sensitive skin Dove bar soap (an oldie but a goodie) and the Amperna Soothing Duo. My confidence tanked when I had those breakouts, and I'd do anything not to feel so hopeless again.
Years 33 to 36 have brought on the most changes physically for me. My body takes longer to recover from workouts and alcohol consumption (I now feel the effects of two drinks the next day), and I need more sleep in general.
Since turning 36, I've become more conscious of how the choices I make will impact my future. I want to keep my mind sharp and my body physically active. My husband and I are considering starting a family in the next year, so I think a lot about what my body will need to carry a baby, my body/mental health postpartum and how to keep up with a toddler when I'm in my 40s.
Right now, I work out three to four times per week, eat well and take a variety of daily supplements. I drink about three times per week and use a nicotine vape daily.
The one vanity piece that bothers me is my gray hair. My dad was almost completely gray by 40, and I definitely got his genes. One day I will proudly rock it, but I'm not ready to yet.