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Ye olde Five Crowns in Corona del Mar to mark its 60th anniversary with special menu

Ye olde Five Crowns in Corona del Mar to mark its 60th anniversary with special menu

A kilted groom and a bride wearing white walked into the English garden at Five Crowns to applause from friends and family on a recent Friday evening. The happy couple's wedding reception was one of two celebrations happening at the landmark Corona del Mar restaurant that night; upstairs a rehearsal dinner was underway.
Serving the Orange County community for six decades, the Five Crowns is part of the Lawry's Restaurants Inc. and has long been a place for diners to make special memories and celebrate milestones. This year marks the restaurant's 60th anniversary and to commemorate the Jubilee year, Five Crowns is offering a special menu, a Jubilee cocktail and partnering with Orange County School of the Arts.
'We want to say cheers to 60 years in the community and to an incredible legacy here in Corona del Mar,' said Ryan O'Melveny Wilson, Lawry's chief executive officer.
Five Crowns is housed in a replica of Ye Olde Bell, England's oldest inn. The Corona del Mar building was constructed in 1936 by Matilda 'Tillie' Lemon MacCulloch. Originally known as the Hurley Bell, the MacCulloch family used it as their home until the 1940s, when it was leased by a series of unsuccessful restaurateurs.
That is, until the Lawrence Frank and Walter Van de Kamp families, who founded the iconic Tam O'Shanter in Los Angeles, bought the old Hurley Bell and the adjoining parking lot for $450,000. They named it the Five Crowns, as it was the restaurant group's fifth establishment and fifth 'jewel in the crown.' The space was remodeled and Five Crowns opened in 1965, counting former President Richard Nixon and former First Lady Pat Nixon, as well as Bugs Bunny animator Chuck Jones among its guests.
Today the restaurant boasts cozy fireplaces, an English garden and a sunlit greenhouse. In Orange County, Five Crowns is known for its prime rib dinners, still served with au jus, Yorkshire pudding and the iconic red London telephone box situated outside. Some staff members have worked at the restaurant for years, witnessing different generations visit it.
Wilson himself is the fourth generation proprietor of the Five Crowns and celebrated his own wedding at the restaurant. He began his career there with a kitchen job in 2002 and eventually played a developmental role in the opening of SideDoor, the English-style gastropub within the restaurant. He said he is proud of the menu Five Crowns has put together for its 60th anniversary.
'Our culinary director has done an incredible job,' said Wilson. 'He has such a great approach to the technique and training and it was a fun exercise to dig into our archives for recipes.'
The special anniversary dinners will start with a continental Louie cocktail, not unlike the seafood cocktails offered on the original 'Bille of Faer' menu in 1965. Crab and shrimp are mixed in Louie dressing, breakfast radish and chopped egg served on little gems with a side of hot toast.
For entrees, guests can choose from Jidori chicken Milanese-style with caviar beurre blanc, dry-aged roast duck with roasted plum, Dover sole Veronika finished tableside, or a 22-ounce, 45-day dry-aged bone-in English rib chop with crisply fried onions and beef fat hollandaise. Additional sides like potatoes O'Brien and green beans with toasted almonds can also be added to the set menu to round out the feast.
For dessert, guests are invited to choose between classic British Banoffee pie or Eton Mess, made with Harry's berries and meringue cookies.
The anniversary prix fixe menu is available July 10 through 30 and can be enjoyed with the Jubilee cocktail, prepared table side for the celebration. Balvenie 16 French Oak, Drambuie and Cuvée Louis-Alexandre Grand Marnier are paired with housemade Queen Ann tea syrup and bitters, poured over a diamond-cut ice cube and served in a keepsake 60th anniversary glass.
Additionally, Five Crowns is partnering with the Orange County School of the Arts to unveil a new exterior mural celebrating the restaurant's history and British heritage. High school student artists from OCSA will be selected to create the design and two of the student teams will be awarded a $500 scholarship and dinner for two at the restaurant.
As the recent Friday night went on, Wilson raised a glass of sparkling wine from Sussex, England, marveling at the restaurant's long success and unwavering popularity.
'Even tonight, we have regular business, a wedding, a bunch of parties and then we are here celebrating the 60th anniversary,' he said.
He says he's confident the timelessness of ye olde Five Crowns is sure to keep diners returning for years to come.
Five Crowns is located at 3801 E. Coast Highway in Corona del Mar, open Monday through Sunday from 4:30 to 9 p.m. The historical prix fixe menu is available July 10 to 30. For reservations visit lawrysonline.com/five-crowns/

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Inside Newcastle's kit-launch video: First-teamers dancing, a fan flown in from Japan, and Plato philosophy
Inside Newcastle's kit-launch video: First-teamers dancing, a fan flown in from Japan, and Plato philosophy

New York Times

time2 hours ago

  • New York Times

Inside Newcastle's kit-launch video: First-teamers dancing, a fan flown in from Japan, and Plato philosophy

'Was that any good?' Alexander Isak asks, hoping for an acting appraisal from the director. 'Estuve excelente,' comes a voice. Tino Asprilla is chuckling to himself. The Newcastle United cult hero, famous for his acrobatic celebrations and off-field antics, is sat beside Isak in the downstairs bar of the Tyneside Irish Centre, a pub-turned-social-club directly opposite St James' Park. Advertisement April 30 has delivered the hottest day of the year, yet Asprilla is wearing a thick fur winter coat and is visibly sweating. It is not quite that iconic fur coat he wore in the snow upon his arrival in England in February 1996. The original was auctioned off and, when attempts to contact the current owner proved fruitless, a replica costing thousands was commissioned using multiple photographs. Underneath, only just visible, Asprilla is donning Newcastle's new blue and orange third kit for 2025-26. 'The shirt is nice, but the coat is better,' Asprilla says in broken English, winking. Isak laughs — which comes as a relief to the crew, who were unsure how he would embrace half an hour of amateur dramatics — and chats to Asprilla in Spanish, one of several languages he speaks fluently. Fortunately, a crew member is also well-versed in Spanish. Earlier, Asprilla had nodded along to acting instructions provided in English, but evidently had no comprehension of what was being said. 'They're absolute legends,' the director says as filming finishes. Isak walks around the room and shakes hands with the 100-plus extras, while Asprilla hastily changes into a stylish blue shirt, ready to head straight out and (re)sample the Newcastle nightlife. Chants of 'Tino, Tino' follow Asprilla and he signs a few beer mats (which display the specially made 'Newcastle Originals, Est 1892' logo) as he goes. 'Please, no asking for autographs with the players,' comes the directive. 'We have a limited time with them.' Time may be short, but money, it seems, is little object for Adidas here. The company understandably regards its budget for this two-minute advert for Newcastle's third strip as too commercially sensitive to disclose — even to The Athletic, which has been granted rare behind-the-scenes access to the filming of a Premier League kit-launch video. But alongside Asprilla's airfare from Colombia is Jonas Gutierrez's from Argentina and a fan's from Japan, while the entire Irish Centre has been booked out for an initial three days (with another added later) and completely transformed by the 60-plus crew members with purpose-made decorations. Conservatively, tens of thousands must have been invested for just one of the three annual kit launches. The promotional kitty dwarfs that of Castore, Newcastle's previous kit supplier. A rekindling of the Adidas partnership last year was celebrated by fans as confirmation of the club's 'return' to the elite. Adidas boasts Real Madrid, Manchester United, Liverpool and Bayern Munich among their top-grade stable, yet bespoke adverts such as this, alongside long-sleeved shirts being reintroduced, provide further evidence of Newcastle's increasing commercial pull. Standing on Gallowgate in the baking sun, Irish Centre regulars are unimpressed. 'I'm here every Wednesday for a Guinness or three!' a grey-haired man exclaims to the security guard, having just read the 'CLOSED' signs. 'Howay, I come in here every f***ing day,' says another, ironically wearing a Newcastle United cap. Advertisement Externally, the pub looks no different, the white equipment van permanently parked up notwithstanding. Inside, however, the usual decor — basic and ageing — has been transformed. 'Sam Fender, Live at The Irish Centre — for one night only' posters adorn the walls. The North Shields-born singer is a world-renowned rock star with black-and-white-striped credentials. 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Three separate covers have been made — in the colours of the new home, away and third kits — and are trialled during takes. Davis, in a blue-and-orange tracksuit, is playing 'Local Hero', a song associated with Newcastle, while Gordon, his hair slicked back, reads to his left. Advertisement For the clip, Gordon has to chat with the fans. The crew comment that rather than pretending to read the book, Gordon is actually doing so and discussing the intricacies of Plato's arguments regarding justice. Next, Tonali and Guimaraes arrive — and play up to their respective personas, with the former expressionless and the latter geeing up the crowd. The pair are standing at the bar chatting, before Davis stops playing 'The Blaydon Races' and throws a custom-made blue hat five metres to Guimaraes, who must catch it and place it on his head. This is a reference to the 'magic hat' he supposedly wears, according to the chant. 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Netflix drops first trailer for new monster movie sequel — and it already looks like a colossal hit
Netflix drops first trailer for new monster movie sequel — and it already looks like a colossal hit

Tom's Guide

time3 hours ago

  • Tom's Guide

Netflix drops first trailer for new monster movie sequel — and it already looks like a colossal hit

Netflix just released the first teaser trailer for its upcoming monster sequel 'Troll 2,' and it looks like this follow-up to the popular original is taking a 'bigger is better' approach. Consider me sold. 'Troll' hit Netflix in December 2022 and became the streaming service's most-watched non-English language movie, having amassed more than 103 million views to date. A sequel was practically inevitable, and after a few years of waiting, we've finally got a glimpse of it. Netflix labels this a 'teaser', and that's very much the case. The brief trailer is little more than a minute long, but serves as a great mood-setter, and gives us an early look at some of the movie's main players, before ending on a juicy preview of a troll vs troll showdown. 'Godzilla vs. Kong' better watch out, as there's a new titan duo on the scene. The sequel will see several returning cast members, including Ine Marie Wilmann as Nora, Kim Falck as Andreas, and Mads Sjøgård Pettersen returning as army major Kristoffer. Plus, Roar Uthaug is back in the director's chair, so the sequel is retaining its key creative talent. 'Troll 2' is set to arrive on Netflix on December 1, and while it might not be the most traditional streaming pick for the holiday season, I can't wait to see how it unfolds. While our first look at 'Troll 2' may be relatively brief, Netflix has also released new details for the upcoming sequel via Tudum. For starters, we've got an insight into the movie's plot, which promises the core team's most 'perilous mission yet.' Get instant access to breaking news, the hottest reviews, great deals and helpful tips. In 'Troll 2,' Nora, Andreas and Kristoffer are forced into action when a new skyscraper-sized troll awakens and goes on a destructive rampage. With the clock ticking and the monster's path of carnage growing, they face seemingly impossible odds to stop the devastation before it's too late. While it hardly sounds like the most innovative sequel, instead opting to stick to the same path trodden by its predecessor, with a movie like 'Troll 2', really all viewers want is a massive monster smashing thing into the ground below their gigantic feet. And 'Troll 2' looks set to deliver exactly that, so who needs originality when you have titans causing total mayhem? 'With the sequel, we are aiming high - expanding the scope, deepening the story, and creating a troll-sized spectacle like you've never seen before. I cannot wait for fans to experience the adventure we have in store,' said Roar Uthaug. Alongside the returning stars and director, 'Troll 2' is also written by Espen Aukan (who penned the first movie), and Espen Horn and Kristian Strand Sinkerud are back as producers. As for fresh faces, Sara Khorami is joining the cast as newcomer Marion. The first 'Troll' was well-received by critics and holds an impressive 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes. However, while it was very popular on Netflix, taking the No. 1 spot in both the U.S. and U.K., not all the audience reactions were positive. The movie holds a 50% viewer score on the review aggregate site, suggesting some subscribers weren't so impressed. Either way, 'Troll 2' looks like a monster movie that is going to dominate the streaming landscape when it arrives this winter, and I can't wait to see these larger-than-life creatures return to Netflix. Remember, 'Troll 2' will begin streaming on Netflix globally on December 1. Meanwhile, if winter feels very far away (though with how quickly 2025 is speeding by, the holidays will be here before you know it), here's everything you can watch on Netflix in July 2025.

21 Celebs Who Told Jokes On Talk Shows And Podcasts
21 Celebs Who Told Jokes On Talk Shows And Podcasts

Buzz Feed

time3 hours ago

  • Buzz Feed

21 Celebs Who Told Jokes On Talk Shows And Podcasts

Everyone likes a good joke — even celebrities! So, my friends (is it OK if I call you that? We're close, right?), here are 21 celebs who told A+ jokes on TV or a podcast: Harrison Ford was on the Late Show with David Letterman in 2015 when he told this joke — one that he said his wife Calista Flockhart wouldn't love him telling. Here it is: "So, this guy is working in the produce department at the grocery store when a lady walks up and says, 'Excuse me, where's the broccoli? I can't find the broccoli.' He says, 'Oh, I'm really sorry, ma'am, we ran out of broccoli; we will have some tomorrow morning.' So, he goes back to his work, and he's stacking the oranges when he hears behind him, 'Mister? Mister?' He turns around, and it's the same lady. She says, 'Where's the broccoli? You got any broccoli?' He says, 'No, ma'am, we're fresh out of broccoli. We'll have some tomorrow morning.' And he goes back to work." "A couple minutes later, this same woman walks up right into his face and says, 'How come I can't find any broccoli? Where's the broccoli?' He says, 'Lady, do me a favor, will ya?' She says, 'What?' He says, 'Indulge me. How do you spell 'cat,' like in 'catastrophic?' She says 'C-A-T.'" "He says, 'How do you spell 'dog' like in 'dogmatic?' She says, 'D-O-G.' He says, 'Now, how do you spell 'fuck' like in 'broccoli?' She says, 'There is no 'fuck' in broccoli.' He says, 'THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU LADY!'" Jeff Ross told a bunch of funny jokes to Jimmy Kimmel about being diagnosed with colon cancer, like: "My oncologist said, 'Jeff, the good news and bad news. The bad news is you're going to need six months of chemo. The good news is you lost your hair a long time ago.'" He also made this joke about having part of his colon removed: "Now I have a semicolon." One more: "I had laparoscopic surgery, so I have holes around here [points to his torso and chest]. Little holes. I'm like 50 Cent if instead of getting shot, he ate pastrami twice a week for 50 years." Chris Pratt was on Conan back in 2016 when it came up that he could speak a little German. He then enthusiastically told this joke in German (translated to English below): "Peter and his friend Dieter were sitting on top of a hill when Peter turned to Dieter and said, 'You see all those houses down there? I built them with my bare hands! But do they call me Peter the House Builder? No.' Peter then pointed to a church by the houses. 'I built that church with my bare hands, too! But do they call me Peter the Church Builder? No.' Peter next pointed to a huge wall below them and said, 'And do you see that big wall? I built that wall stone by stone! But do they call me Peter the Wall Builder? No, they do not.' Peter paused, looked Dieter dead in the eyes, and said, 'But you fuck ONE pig...'" Comedian Mike Birbiglia told Marc Maron on the WTF podcast: 'My dad had a stroke. It's been devastating, but I will say it has calmed him down.' Natasha Lyonne was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in the late '90s when she told a hilariously risque joke I STILL can't believe got on the it caught a none-too-pleased Leno totally off guard. NOW LISTEN... THIS JOKE IS ONE YOU GOTTA WATCH! It's a visual joke, and reading it just isn't the same. So, if you're somewhere you can watch a video, skip over the text below and watch the video, m'kay? The joke:Natasha extends her hand toward Leno and says, "There are three ladies in my hand." She then points to her palm and says, "She's blonde, she's a brunette, and she's a redhead. Now, I want you to pick up the blonde and put it by the side of your face."Leno picks up the imaginary, tiny blonde out of Natasha's hand and places it against his says, "Does that feel like the first time you made love?"Leno says, "No," so Natasha says, "OK, put her back! Put her back! Now, pick up the brunette and put her against your face." (He does.) "Does that feel like the first time you did it?"Leno said, "Uh, no.""OK, put her back, too. Ooooh, now pick up the redhead. She's a redhead. She's hot." (He puts the redhead against his face.) "That do it for you?"A confused Leno says, "No.""Not like the first time you had sex? Put her back.""OK," Leno said as he put the redhead back into Natasha's hand."Now, pick them all up," Natasha picked up all three and held them in his hand like dice."Now, shake them all up."Leno shakes the women (looking like he's making a jerk-off motion)."Now, does that feel like the first time you..." Natasha — realizing what she made him do — smiles awkwardly and says, "Oh, OK." Watch Natasha destroy Leno with her joke below: Chris Hemsworth was on the BBC's The Graham Norton Show when he mentioned that people often come up to him and tell him Thor jokes. Norton asked him to tell one, so he said: 'Thor spends the night with this woman, and the next morning he says, 'I have to tell you who I am. I'm Thor.' She says, 'You're Thor? I can hardly walk.'" On the Your Mom's House podcast, Louis C.K. shared this one: "I was in a hotel, and I ordered a wake-up call. The next morning, the phone rings, and the voice says, 'What are you doing with your life?'" Dolly Parton started an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon by talking about the reaction she got back home after her last appearance on the show. 'Everybody said, 'Well, did you tell Jimmy our famous story about our bear?' And I said, 'No, I never got a chance to tell him.' (Looks to Jimmy) 'Do you have time for it on the show? Well, this is a true story.'" "Up in Pigeon Forge, many years ago, back when I was a kid, they had a bear in a cage. You know, we're famous for the bears in the Smokies. And they had this bear in a big cage up there, and people would stop at this market and buy Cokes for this bear that was in the cage. And tourists would take pictures — for years, they would give it Cokes and peanuts." "So anyway, this bear was just getting bigger and bigger. And they were selling all kinds of stuff at this market, and this poor bear was just drinking them all. One day, some redneck put gasoline in a Coke can. Can you believe that? How bad people are? The poor bear just went crazy, and it broke out of the pen and started toward Sevierville — because Pigeon Forge is about eight miles from Sevierville — and it was going all the way down there when all of a sudden, it just fell over." Jimmy asked: 'Dead?'To which Dolly said: 'No, it was out of gas!' And while we're on the subject of Dolly and jokes, I have to share this exchange she had on her short-lived TV show, Dolly, back in 1988. When a teenager in the crowd asked her what advice she had for the teenagers of the day, she replied, "I would say, 'Act like it's raining every day and wear your rubbers.'" Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg appeared together on the YouTube show Dad Jokes, where celebs face off against each telling dad jokes. Will started things off by asking Mark, "What do mermaids wash their fins with?" The answer? "Tide." Will also got a groan/laugh from this one: "What did the angry fried rice say to the shrimp? Don't wok away from me!" Mark replied by telling Will, "Did you know in King Arthur's time one of the knights of the round table collected taxes? His name was Sir Charge." He also told this groaner: "Did you hear Steve Harvey and his wife got into a fight? It was a Family Feud." Gal Gadot was on The Late Late Show with James Corden when Corden challenged her to tell a joke in Hebrew that would make Hagar Ben Ari — an Israeli musician in the show's house band — laugh. Here's what Gal said (translated to English below): 'A baby is like instant coffee, do you know why? It's easy to make it, and it keeps you up all night.' And yes, Hagar laughed! On his podcast Norm Macdonald Live, Norm shared his father's favorite joke: "Roses are gray, violets are gray, tulips are I'm a dog." He was also famous for going on Conan O'Brien's talk shows and telling long, ridiculous the setup was often as funny as the punch line. This one was supposedly about his early days as a bartender: "One time, a drunk guy came in, and you're not supposed to serve the drunk guys. That's one of the things you learn. And also, you learn how to make the drinks. So, the drunk comes in, you know, real drunk. Three sheets to the wind, you know? This character sits down, and I says to him, I says, 'What do you want? I can't serve you.' He says, 'I don't want a drink! I want to shoot a dart at your dart board!'" "So, I says to my guy, 'You can't shoot a dart on the dart board, you're drunk! I'm not going to let you. That'd be dangerous. That's a sharp thing, a dart.' The guy goes, 'No, let me shoot one shot at the dart board.' So, I say, 'Ok, one shot, that's it.' So, the guy shoots the dart eye. Never seen anything like it. Even in his state. So, the guy says to me, he says, 'What do I win?'" "So, I don't know what he wins, I'm confused, so I start looking around, trying to find something, and I see at the bottom of the bar area is a shoebox with a turtle in it. I was going to give it to my nephew as a gift, but then, later I thought that's a dumb gift, a turtle. Nobody likes a turtle. Kid would probably just put him on his back until he dies. Kids are cruel, you know? So, I think, why not just give it to this drunk? So, I say here's your prize, here it is. And so the guy takes it in the shoebox, and he goes, 'Thanks' and walks out of there. I figure that's the last I'll ever see of that guy." "But two weeks later, the guy shows up again. Drunk again! So, now I go, oh my god, that's that guy from two weeks ago, you know? So, he walks into the bar, and I say, 'I can't serve you, buddy. I can't do that.' He goes, 'I don't want any, I want to shoot a dart at your dart board.' I say, 'Ah, no, man, I let you do that before.' He says, 'But I got a bull's eye!' I say, 'Yeah, yeah, but you can't do that again.' He says, 'Let me try.' So, he takes the dart, shoots it, bull's eye again! So, he goes, 'What do I win?'" So, I'm confused. I look around, I go, 'I don't know. What did you win last time?' And he goes, 'Oh, last time I won a roast beef on a hard roll.'" Karate Kid star Pat Morita appeared on a show in the '80s called Funniest Joke Ever Told where — you guessed it — celebs tell jokes. Here was Pat's contribution: "I was watching a short sword tournament in Japan where the guys who did the short sword demonstration were so fascinating. They awarded three prizes, so I went up to the guy who won the third prize and said, 'Excuse me, sir, what did you do to win third prize?' He said, 'Very simple. See that fly on the wall over there?' He then swung his sword at the fly, and it dropped dead on the floor in two pieces. I said, 'Oh my goodness! That is something else!'" "I then went up to the guy who won second prize and said, 'And what did you do, sir, to win your prize?' He said, 'See that fly on the wall?' And then, he sliced the fly dead into four pieces! Now, oh boy! I go up to the guy who won the grand prize and say, 'What did you do to win grand prize?' He says, 'See that fly on the wall? Watch!' He then sliced his sword at the it just buzzed away across the room." I say, "Big deal! The fly is still flying." And he says, "Yes, but that fly will never have children!" A teenage Brooke Shields also appeared on the show where she told this cute one: "Mike has this job to take 60 penguins to the Bronx Zoo, but he'd rather go to the race track. So, he decides to call his friend Joe and says, 'Hey, Joe. I've got this job for you. I'll give you five bucks if you take these penguins to the zoo.' Joe says, 'That's fine. I'd love to.' Mike goes to the race track, then the next day, he's walking down the street and sees Joe from a distance with the 60 penguins following behind him. He says, 'Joe, I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!' Joe says, 'I did! And we had such a good time I thought I'd take them to the movies, too!'" I know we already had a Harrison Ford joke earlier, but it turns out the man is a master joke teller so we had to include another! Years after his Letterman appearance, he swapped jokes with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show. Here's his: "So, this cannibal is walking down a path in the jungle when he passes a cannibal from another village. The first cannibal says to the second, 'How you doing?' And the second cannibal says, 'Actually, thank you for asking, I haven't been feeling that good lately.' The first cannibal says, 'What's the problem?' And the second says, 'It's my tummy.' The first says, 'What have you been eating?' The second says, 'The usual. Missionaries.' The first says, 'How are you cooking them?'" "The second says, 'Well, the usual way, we get a big pot of water boiling, a couple bay leaves, onion, some carrots, throw 'em in four, five, six hours.' 'Wait a second,' the first cannibal says. 'What do they look like?' The second says, 'They've got that little fringe of hair on their head, and they're wearing those brown robes and sandals.' The first cannibal nods and says, 'You're cooking them wrong.'" "'Cooking them wrong?' asks the second cannibal. 'What do you mean cooking them wrong?' And the first says, 'Them are friars.'" And here was Jimmy's joke: "This guy goes into the vet, and he's holding a duck. He walks in and goes, 'Doc, is my duck dead?' The doc goes, just by the fact the duck's not moving, 'Yeah, it's dead.' The guy goes, 'Uh, this is terrible. Are you sure?' The doc says, 'Well, I can run some tests if you want.' He brings out a big chocolate lab that goes over to the duck and starts sniffing the duck. The lab then looks up at the doc and shakes his head." "The doc says, 'I'm sorry. The duck is no longer with us. He's passed.' The guy says, 'Oh my goodness. Are you sure?' The doc says, 'Yeah. I mean, I could run another test.' So, he gets a cat, and the cat comes over and looks at the duck, looks at the duck's eyes, looks at the back of the duck, then looks up at the doctor and shakes his head. The doc says, 'I'm sorry, your duck is no more, he's deceased. You duck is dead.'" "'Uh, this is terrible,' the guy says. 'What do I owe you?''$1,500.''$1500 for what?' 'Well, with the lab work and cat scan...'" Going back to The Funniest Joke I Ever Heard, legendary actor Jimmy Stewart shared this one: "A woman named Margaret asks her husband, John, if he would remarry if she died. John tries to avoid the question, but Margaret persists over several days. Eventually, John admits he probably would remarry. Margaret then asks if he would sell the house, to which John replies, 'No.' She continues, 'Would you let her sleep in our bed?' John says, 'No.' Finally, Margaret asks, 'Would you let her use my golf clubs?' John responds, 'No, she's left-handed.'" Academy Award-winning actor Ernest Borgnine told his favorite funny on the show too: "This lady wanted to throw a nice steak dinner smothered with mushrooms for 15, 16 people, but she didn't want to pay that awful price at the store for mushrooms. She told her husband about it, and he said, 'There's a whole bunch of mushrooms growing in back of the barn, why don't you try those?' She asked, 'Are they any good?' He says, 'Oh, I don't know, but try them anyway.'" "So, she went out, picked some, and cooked up a big mess of them in a pot for her dog Spot, all covered with bacon grease and everything else, and Spot ate every one of them. It was just marvelous. She said, 'Bully!' and went out to get more mushrooms." "So, she had a dinner for her friends, serving steaks smothered with beautiful mushrooms. Just about half way through the dinner, the maid ran in and yelled, 'Oh my God! Spot's dead!' The lady turned white and said, 'Call a doctor, call a doctor!' They called a doctor who came and pumped everyone's stomachs. He was just about finished with the last person when the maid ran back in and tearfully said, 'You know what? The truck that hit Spot didn't even stop!'" Lastly, this is pretty cool. In 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. made an appearance on The Tonight Show where — as one does on these shows — he told a funny anecdote. Here it is: "I flew out of Washington this afternoon, and as soon as we started out, they notified us the plane had mechanical difficulties. That kept us on the ground a good while. Finally, we took off and whenever I land after mechanical difficulties, I'm always very happy. Now, I don't want to give you the impression that as a Baptist preacher I don't have faith in God in the air, it's simply that I've just had more experience with him on the ground."

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