Connecting parents and teens in the post-'Adolescence' social media landscape

Time of India

4 hours ago

By Sandeep Dutta
Netflix's
Adolescence
has become a much-discussed drama amongst parents of teens in the living rooms of Gurgaon condominiums, Goregaon societies and Gachibowli high rises. It will be an exaggeration to say that it has sent shock waves to the parents as they are quite cognizant of the impact of excessive
screen time
on the teens and pre-teens, but it acted as a grave reminder of its extreme consequences. The last scene of this widely viewed and much talked about mini-series was truly gut wrenching when we see Eddie Miller, the father of the ill-fated teen collapse on his bed and can be heard regretting that he failed as a father.
Parent and teen relationships in India are relatively stronger in India and many Asian countries as compared to the West where personal space and individuality were given high priority much before the phrase 'digital bubble' entered our lexicons. Since
social media
entered the lives of Indians and spelt its seductive charm on them confining them to their respective digital bubbles the texture of our social fabric changed forever. While for others it is mostly a source of discontentment when they find their physical connections suffer at the altar of the digital world, for teen parents there is sense of chilling fear of the evils of the cyber world.
Recently, I was talking to a mother of a fourteen year old daughter in Jaipur and she confided that she worries about her daughter's security '
Earlier I knew her friends, they would be living nearby or were from her school and many came to my house so I knew about their families but now I find my daughter either talking rather surreptitiously on the phone or typing messages vigorously…when I ask her who is she talking with she gives me evasive answers…she tells me these are some new friends who I haven't met...I suddenly realized that she has friends who I do not know and am worried who these people are and what influence do they have on her..'
A father from Chandigarh lamented about a family trip that made him realize how his children; one teen and the other a pre-teen, live in a world of their own '
I was driving from Chandigarh to Kasauli and my children who were seating on the backseat hardly ever looked out of the window to enjoy the scenic beauty. They were glued to the phone and texting most of the time and my wife who was sitting next to me and I felt what is the point in taking them on the trip if they would be on their phone all the time…and we both wondered who were they texting all the time…when we asked them they said friends…God alone knows who these friends are'
Parents are now resigned to seeing their children inhabiting the digital world more than the physical world and this generates feelings of being slighted and also gives rise to a gnawing sense of fear. Whether it is a car ride, a trip to the shopping mall or dinner table at home they are now used to seeing their children mostly with their heads down frantically pressing the keys of their fancy
smartphones
. While they feel marginalised and unhappy in such moments what gives them sleepless nights are the thoughts of their children becoming victims of cyber traps including scams, cyberbullying, and online predators. These traps can lead to emotional distress, financial loss, and even physical danger. Online predators can also use the internet to exploit them for sexual and violent purposes.
This has compelled them to rethink and reframe parenting style, and many parents are consciously trying to be 'friends' with their children. Traditionally Indian parents especially fathers believed that parenting is about control, righteousness and restrain and emotions such as love and care were meant to be hidden deep in their hearts.
Not anymore. In an age of intense social media influence, nuclearization of families and increasing permission to express one's individuality parents (surprisingly often led by the fathers) are reframing their parenting style to imbibe codes of friendship encouraging open communication, sharing of life experiences and having fun together!!
The ulterior motive is to get closer to their children's life-world and encourage them to share their everyday life experiences so that they get to know what is going on in their lives and give friendly advice on all things that matter to them ranging from skin care and career confusion to situationship challenges. Today it is not uncommon to see fathers twinning with their sons, mothers and daughters going together for Pilates, parents and children forwarding memes and jokes to each other while sipping beer on a Sunday afternoon. A mother of a teen girl in Chennai said '
My daughter is a big fan of BTS and other Korean bands, I did not know anything about them nor was I interested in them but now I listen to them and know quite a lot about the lives of the singers so that I have something to talk about to her and she will not feel that I know nothing about her superstars'.
This change in parenting style has been borne out by an ambitious study done by
Kantar Kidscan
2024. Surveying 2,450 children/pre-teen and teens aged 5-14 and an equal number of parents across 14 cities, this comprehensive study reveals 55% of parents allow their children full discretion over their career aspirations—a level of freedom seldom seen in previous generations. This trend points to a more open-minded friendly and empathetic parental approach, where traditional pressures are being replaced by encouragement for self-expression and personal exploration.
While many
brands
(think of Lego's ' Play is your superpower campaign' which encourages families to build in more playtime together in their everyday lives, McCain's campaign titled '
Jugalbandi
' that humorously portrays how families, amidst all their differences, find a moment of unity and agreement) have for years been making concerted efforts to showcase themselves as family unifiers not too many brands have specifically leveraged the 'Friends' role which parents are now playing with admirable gusto. Coca Cola is perhaps one of those few brands which leveraged this phenomenon way back in 2018 where the father is shown to become a friend of his teen son as they travel together in a train. The key moment of the ad hinges on the son's accepting his dad's friend request in social media and while he enjoys a bottle of Coke the father gets busy checking out his son's activities on social media. The film ends with the young man cutely embarrassed as the father looks excitedly at his posts suggesting the beginning of their new relationship as buddies.
Recently (in 2023) Maggi launched the 'Maggi Ready Family Jolly' campaign which depicts millennial parents and teens having fun together along with music. Though the ad does not overtly call out the 'Friends' role that the parents have adopted but their behaviour and conversations suggest that they have an open and fun relationship with their teen children. In fact, the latest ad in this campaign shows how teens talk to the parents in internet slang language and the father not to be left behind also talks in the same language which makes the daughter admit that her dad is super cool. The ad has a strong friendly vibe which appealed to both parents and teens.
Though brands like Coke and Maggi have successfully leveraged the phenomenon of parents as buddies, I believe there is ample scope for other brands to extend this further and bring to surface the simmering parental paranoia about the lethal charms of social media on the impressionable minds of their children and their earnest efforts to make friends with them with the purpose of protecting them. Brands can be projected as the friendly conduit between tension ridden parents and internet addict teens.
As a researcher, while interacting with the teens it was quite evident that they do bank upon their parents to provide them with much needed emotional support when they experience bouts of anxiety, loneliness and fear as they navigate both the digital and physical worlds. They too want them to be their friends (many of them confessed that they are lonely despite having many friends) but sometimes feel that they do not get the respect which they deserve and at other times they get turned off by their parent's pseudo friendly behaviour. A teen boy from Mumbai said, 'Sometimes
my dad uses the f word when talking to me just to be very cool as he has heard me using it when I talk to my friends, but I find that a bit forced and honestly quite silly'.
Brands intending to capitalize on this trend need to be cognizant of these apprehensions (there could be more!) and portray the parent-teen friendship in a way that is relatable and aspirational but not bordering on pretentiousness and frivolity.
Three simple ground rules that Brands could consider when portraying the buddy theme:
1.
First respect, then friendship
Teens of the digital age are well informed and have a world view. They expect parents to acknowledge this and treat them with respect before they forge a friendship.
2.
Buddy boundaries
There is a fine art of being a parent buddy. Too much of buddy behaviour will look shallow and be counterproductive.
3. Embrace Inclusivity and Social Justice
Parents should be shown as liberal and open to diverse perspectives concerned with social issues that are of interest to the teens.
By understanding and encouraging new parenting styles and tailoring their
marketing
efforts accordingly, brands can truly act as a perfect bridge between teens and parents and build stronger emotional connections and ultimately, foster loyalty both amongst parents and teens. And not just that, it also would serve the bigger purpose of mending the lives of the young and vulnerable some of whom are becoming victims of the excessiveness of social media. We certainly do not want to see them suffer like
Jamie Miller
, the thirteen-year-old protagonist from Adolescence who is every teen parent's nightmare!
(The author is the vice president, insights division at Kantar. Views expressed are personal.)