From dial-up to glow-up

The Sun

3 days ago

AH, the generation gap. That mystical space-time distortion where logic disappears, sarcasm kena tangkap polis and someone is always yelling 'Where's the remote?!' while sitting on it like it is a throne.
Gather the whole Malaysian family and suddenly it is like shoving five drama channels into one Astro decoder.
One atuk is reliving Konfrontasi, one niece is crying because her TikTok only got 12 likes and someone is trying to connect to the WiFi like it is a life-support machine.
Let Makcik break it down for you – generation by generation – with cili api, no-filter truth and proper birth years so no one can pretend: 'Eh? Bukan I.' Yes, you. Especially you.
Baby boomers (1946–1964): Tupperware tacticians and WhatsApp warriors
Boomers are Malaysia's OG superheroes. They survived rationing, curfews, 14 general elections and three different government logos – all while reusing the same ice cream tub for sambal since 1986.
They don't trust GPS – they are the GPS.
'Nak ke pasar? Senang je. Belok kanan lepas rumah arwah Mak Timah, pastu nampak pokok jambu, belok kiri. Kalau sampai longkang, dah salah.'
They believe Tiger Balm can cure heartbreak, gout and GST trauma. But try teaching them how to scan QR codes – suddenly become blur, pening and password goes missing.
Favourite quote: 'Zaman kami dulu, semua boleh settle dengan rotan dan kuih kapit.'
Mood: Forwarded many times. Believe it or die.
Generation X (1965–1980): The silent sufferers with slipper accuracy
Ah, Gen X. The forgotten middle child of the generation family tree.
This is Makcik's generation. We survived without Google, got our gossip from Majalah URTV and played mix tapes we painstakingly recorded off the radio – complete with DJ interruptions.
We were the first computer users – the computers that went peeeoooww kwekkkk krak krak when logging into the internet. One email took 10 minutes and made the house sound like a spaceship docking.
Now? We are the default tech support, chauffeur, emergency contact and family group admin. Sandwiched between cranky Boomers and emotionally complex Gen Zs. Still using Hotmail, won't throw out that one perfectly functional Nokia phone and still not sure how we ended up paying for everything.
Anthem: 'Let me finish this email, then I'll fix the toilet, water the plants, pay bills and scream into a pillow.'
Catchphrase: 'We didn't talk about mental health; we had chores and teh o ais limau.'
Millennials (1981–1996): High hopes, low bank balance and premium burnout
These poor souls were told to chase the dream. Now they are chasing Grab drivers because 'alamat tak betul'.
They grew up during Y2K, Britney and dial-up – and now, they cry every time Shopee has a sale because... money mana? They have turned their trauma into Twitter threads, their side hustle into a full-time grind and straight into burnout. Still nostalgic about RM1 nasi lemak and waiting to afford property that is not beside a monsoon drain.
Mood: Tired but aesthetic.
Catchphrase: 'I just want to be a plant. No thoughts, just sunlight.'
Generation Z (1997–2012): Emotionally fluent, logically fried
Some were born before the internet exploded, some during the WiFi boom but all raised by TikTok and fuelled by Bubble Tea. These children are chronically online and emotionally aware but also cannot fill up a LHDN borang without spiralling.
They use words like 'vibe check' and 'toxic' in conversations with their cat. They know their attachment style, birth chart and Spotify Wrapped but not their IC number.
Ask them to make a phone call? Panic attack. Ask them to speak in public? Immediate respiratory collapse. But they will post a two-minute crying video on TikTok with perfect lighting and Comic Sans captions.
Mantra: 'Protect your peace. Block your uncle.'
Weakness: Slow WiFi, clingy boomers and being tagged in a 2009 Facebook photo.
Generation Alpha (2013 onwards): The touchscreen tyrants in Crocs
Tiny hands. Mega attitude. These are the iPad generals of the household. Don't be fooled by their innocent Crocs. These children are trained negotiators with volume levels that can reset your nervous system.
They don't 'watch' television. They command it: 'Skip ad, change channel, play next.'
Your remote? They have changed the settings. Your Netflix? Now in Spanish.
Their tantrums? Full surround sound, complete with special effects. Their attention span? Shorter than the Astro ad skip button.
YouTube is their religion. Google is their teacher. And if you dare say 'no more tablet', they will look at you like you just cancelled Raya.
Catchphrase: 'I'm not sleepy!' while snoring in mid-scream.
Power move: Accidentally ordering McDonald's and blaming Siri.
So, what now, Malaysia? Peace treaty or sambal belacan showdown?
Boomers are yelling, Gen X is groaning, Millennials are spiralling, Gen Z is ghosting and Alpha is screaming like a banshee possessed by Spongebob.
But deep down, there is love – a messy, spicy, passive-aggressive type of love. It is the Malaysian kind – the 'nah, eat this' and 'you've gained weight but I bought your favourite kuih' type.
Want peace? Here is the deal:
- Boomers: Stop forwarding videos with 'Sila sebarkan' like it is wartime propaganda.
- Gen X: Change your password from '12345678'. Even your cat knows it.
- Millennials: You don't need to turn every crisis into a Canva quote. Just nap.
- Gen Z: Not everyone is gaslighting you. Some people are just socially awkward.
- Alpha: Sit down. Be quiet. Eat the nuggets. It is still chicken.
And when all else fails? Turn off the WiFi. Like moth to a flame, they will all gather in the living room, blinking in confusion and ready to talk like it is 1995.