Use Command And Control Strategies To Tilt A Deal In Your Favor
Have you ever been in a deal where it feels like information is a scarce resource? The other party in the deal isn't saying much, which makes you feel chatty. The next thing you know, you're revealing too much, and you've lost the edge in the deal.
In high-stakes negotiations, the person with command and control wins the deal. You may think the person with the command is the loudest in the room. However, it's the person who controls the cadence and flow of information who has the command in any negotiation.
As a talent agent, media attorney and professor at USC Gould School of Law, I teach people how to use command and control information to tilt deals in their favor. I also teach a masterclass on dealmaking in collaboration. Here is how you can use command and control to tilt deals in your favor.
What is command and control?
Command is about knowing the facts—your facts, their facts and the facts they think they know.
Control is about regulating yourself and others and then managing when, how and if those facts are revealed.
When you own both, you tilt the room in your favor. I discuss this in my new book, TILT the Room, which is coming out in 2026, explaining how you can use timing, influence, leverage and trust to win people over, get deals done and make better deals.
For command, do your homework.
You need to know the ins and outs of your side of the deal—and their side. For example, I once was looking for office space for my company. We needed a lot of room and a good location. Malls had both of these qualities, not to mention lots of parking for staff. However, malls were charging big dollars to allow retailers to lease a space—as high as $40,000 a month.
I did my homework and learned that mall owners have unique loan covenants around how many units are vacant. This means that if their occupancy with tenants falls below 75%, their loan can be called. I scratched my head and wondered if they would probably be eager to make a deal on a lease to get someone into a space.
So, I walked through the local malls, counting empty spaces, until I found a good mall with less than 75% occupancy. Then I went to the rental office to see what could be accomplished and how I could tilt the room.
For control, it's all about when to release the information.
Information is gold in any negotiation. You don't just give it away.
These are the steps I follow:
1. Don't answer their first question directly—pivot to your framing.
2. Hold back key details until they lean in.
3. Release information like currency, not charity.
4. Lead with questions that test what they know while revealing nothing yourself.
For example, when I walked into the rental office, I didn't blurt out my knowledge about loan covenants. Instead, when they asked if they could help me, I said I had noticed there were many available spaces in the mall and was interested in renting one for my company.
Since the mall staff knew they needed to fill the spaces, that got their attention. I told them I was looking for a large space. That got them salivating, thinking of a big lease deal.
I didn't tell them anything more. I just asked them questions about move-in dates to see how thirsty they were for a deal and about how flexible they were on pricing. I left and waited for them to call me. And they did.
When I knew I had them on the hook, thinking they had someone willing to pay full price, I mentioned the budget for the space had 'constricted,' and whether they had any creative ideas. They were mostly silent, with some rambling and occasional 'umms.' I listened and didn't speak.
Then I subtly released the information, 'Oh, before we hang up, I was wondering about something.' I paused. 'Well, gee, I'm not sure if this makes sense.' I paused again.
They said, 'Yes, what?' And I replied, 'This is probably silly. I heard a rumor about some type of requirement that certain parts of the mall must be leased, or somehow, the mall gets in trouble. If that's the case, maybe it's worth getting us in there?'
There was about a four-second pause, and then, 'Well, Mr. Sterling, this could be your lucky day. We do have a special 'interim' tenancy program that may work for you.'
The strategy got their attention. And I got a rate of $4,000 a month for the lease.
Conclusion
Remember, using leverage isn't about manipulation—it's about strategic presence. It's not just knowing the facts. It's about confidence, timing and keeping your opponent just uncertain enough to second-guess their position.
People don't lose deals because they lack leverage. It's because they give up command too early. Keep your command, and you'll have control.
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