Define Your Leadership Identity Before Someone Else Does It For You

Forbes

8 hours ago

Jill D. Griffin is the Founder of The Griffin Method.
If you don't define who you are, someone else will.
That might sound dramatic, but in my work with leaders over the years (and in my own life), it's proven absolutely true. Too often, people spend their careers reacting to what others expect, shifting who they are to meet every new pressure and losing touch with the core of their leadership in the process. That's why I believe so strongly in the concept of leadership identity.
This is not about posturing or image. This is about identifying and refining who you are so that you are leading with clarity, credibility and consistency.
Why Leadership Identity Isn't The Same As Personal Brand
Let me be clear: This is not personal branding. In fact, I think the entire conversation around personal brand has become distorted. Scroll through social media and you'll see influencers curating highlight reels and packaging themselves into bite-sized personas optimized for likes. But that's not leadership. That's not substance. Influencers and people talking about their personal brand ... that's posturing.
Leadership identity, on the other hand, is about knowing who you are and the value you're bringing and creating on a regular basis. It's not about how you look or looking good. I don't care who you are. I care that you're true to who you are. Let your work speak for itself. Leadership identity is about letting the work that you're doing be the outcome, not just how you promote it.
The Core Of My Leadership Identity
For me, my leadership identity has always been rooted in one word: excellence. Not perfection but excellence. It means showing up to the best of your ability within your own circumstances. I remember attending a five-day executive retreat where, at the end, we were all asked to share reflections with one another. Every single person told me I exemplified excellence. They used the word I had never even shared with them. That, to me, is leadership identity in action.
The origins of that word run deep for me. My youngest brother is mentally and physically disabled. Growing up, there were times people would question why we pushed him to do certain things. My answer? 'Just because he's disabled doesn't mean he can't set the table. It simply means that he may approach the task differently.' He can't dial a phone, sure, but he can take the dishes from the counter and put them out. And by doing so, he increases his confidence and self-esteem. We focus on the outcome, not the path.
When Life Tests You, Your Identity Grounds You
And life only tests this belief further. I'm a traumatic brain injury survivor. Twenty years later, I still have some limitations. But if I'm not thinking about who I am as a leader, I'm not going to get there. I remember one day during physical therapy, I corrected my therapist, who thought I had finished a set. I said, 'No, I have two more.' That's me. That's excellence. There's no prize for two extra push-ups, but if I let it slide, I'm cheating myself, and that's not in my excellence or integrity.
In challenging times such as layoffs, conflict or loss, you need to anchor in identity. If you're not coming back to who you are, then you're like a piece of seaweed getting knocked around. Your identity gives you direction when everything else is shifting.
Shape-Shifting For Approval Results In Burnout
Without a strong leadership identity, we fall into the trap of people-pleasing. And that leads straight to burnout. I'm not who I think I am. I'm who I think you think I am. That's exhausting. That's the road to inconsistency and loss of trust.
If your colleagues never know what version of you is going to show up, they begin to question your authenticity. They'll be left wondering who the real you is, and you'll start losing credibility. But when you're grounded in identity, you can adapt to the moment without losing yourself. It doesn't change who you are. Who you are is the fuel of how you approach that task.
Tools To Help You Discover (And Return To) Yourself
So, how do you define your leadership identity? Start here:
Pay attention to when time flies. When is time flying by? That's your clue. That's often where your natural leadership strengths lie.
What do you need to be mirrored back in your environment? If your boss doesn't value innovation and you do, there's a misalignment.
I love using Jungian archetypes as a tool for self-expression. I use archetypes because they help give language and shape to your Identity. They reflect timeless patterns that help you understand your natural style, strengths, and the energy you bring into a room. Archetypes don't put you in a box; they give you a starting point to understand how you lead, connect, and contribute. Understanding some of those archetypes may help you by giving you language and insight to reflect on who you are and who you want to become.
Write down recent victories to reconnect with your worth. Remind yourself of who you are.
Let Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Messaging
Here's the heart of it: Leadership identity is shown through your actions. Personal branding is shown through your messaging and posturing. One is grounded in behavior; the other is curated. I don't need to tell you I retain clients, I just do the work. That's leadership. That's impact.
Redefining Failure And Authenticity
We've been conditioned to fear failure. But in life, it's essential. In life, failure gives you growth. But in school, it holds you back. I am more than happy to share my failures with clients and colleagues. It's part of being a real leader, not a polished performer.
You Are Your Greatest Differentiator
In a world full of AI-generated posts and perfectly packaged personas, your humanity is your edge. Your ability to reflect, adapt and stay rooted in who you are is what sets you apart.
Remind yourself of who you are. Otherwise, when you get negative feedback, you'll believe what they say and forget what you know to be true.
Leadership identity isn't about being perfect. It's about being true. And that's where the real power lies.
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