'Above and beyond' - Mum thanks primary school as daughter leaves for secondary
Kelly Ann Pevy exclusively spoke to the Free Press about the positive work Claytons Primary School in Bourne End has done to help her 11-year-old daughter, Ellie, who has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).
Ellie joined the school at the age of nine in the spring/summer of 2023 in year 4 , after stints at two different education establishments in the area.
Her mother revealed that following a chat and tour of Clayton's two years ago, she believed that she 'wasn't rushed' when asking questions, and that the school wanted to be 'positive' in helping her daughter.
She said: 'They have done so much for us. I can't thank them enough.
'I have been one of those parents who, in the past, have been very negative about schools, so to find a school that I am so positive about, they deserve to have recognition.
'Ellie previously went to two small village schools, and even though they were lovely, they were not for children who have additional needs.
'I did try with these two schools, and as a parent, it was very emotional because I was made to feel that it was my parenting, and both schools told me that maybe I needed to find a different school.
'I didn't want to keep moving Ellie, but if I did, I wanted to find a school that would accommodate her, and I did a lot of research, and one parent recommended Clayton's.
'I'm just so impressed with them and relieved that Ellie has had a positive end to primary school life.
'She's only been here for two years, and she's told me that this is the best primary school she's been to.
'I get choked up when she hears that.
'Claytons went above and beyond with everything - they are one of the best.'
During the last two years, Ellie has integrated into life at Claytons by getting involved in class activities and making friends, one of whom will be joining her in her new adventure at Great Marlow School in September.
The positive news will be very pleasing for the school's headteacher, Mrs Jensa Carter, who praised her team and staff for helping with Ellie's development.
She said: 'We are a very special school as we look after our children particularly well.
'It's all about building strong and positive relationships with the children and their parents and carers, which is highly important.
'Ellie hasn't been with us for very long, but we have had a big impact on her and her family, and have helped them have a positive journey as they move onto secondary education.
'I lead an incredible staff body that culture of support, positive behavioural management and yes, making difficult decisions, which is a whole school ethos which is important.
'We want all of our children to reach their full potential.'
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4 hours ago
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'Above and beyond' - Mum thanks primary school as daughter leaves for secondary
A Marlow mother has praised has described a Buckinghamshire primary school as 'one of the best' after they assisted her child's needs. Kelly Ann Pevy exclusively spoke to the Free Press about the positive work Claytons Primary School in Bourne End has done to help her 11-year-old daughter, Ellie, who has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Ellie joined the school at the age of nine in the spring/summer of 2023 in year 4 , after stints at two different education establishments in the area. Her mother revealed that following a chat and tour of Clayton's two years ago, she believed that she 'wasn't rushed' when asking questions, and that the school wanted to be 'positive' in helping her daughter. She said: 'They have done so much for us. I can't thank them enough. 'I have been one of those parents who, in the past, have been very negative about schools, so to find a school that I am so positive about, they deserve to have recognition. 'Ellie previously went to two small village schools, and even though they were lovely, they were not for children who have additional needs. 'I did try with these two schools, and as a parent, it was very emotional because I was made to feel that it was my parenting, and both schools told me that maybe I needed to find a different school. 'I didn't want to keep moving Ellie, but if I did, I wanted to find a school that would accommodate her, and I did a lot of research, and one parent recommended Clayton's. 'I'm just so impressed with them and relieved that Ellie has had a positive end to primary school life. 'She's only been here for two years, and she's told me that this is the best primary school she's been to. 'I get choked up when she hears that. 'Claytons went above and beyond with everything - they are one of the best.' During the last two years, Ellie has integrated into life at Claytons by getting involved in class activities and making friends, one of whom will be joining her in her new adventure at Great Marlow School in September. The positive news will be very pleasing for the school's headteacher, Mrs Jensa Carter, who praised her team and staff for helping with Ellie's development. She said: 'We are a very special school as we look after our children particularly well. 'It's all about building strong and positive relationships with the children and their parents and carers, which is highly important. 'Ellie hasn't been with us for very long, but we have had a big impact on her and her family, and have helped them have a positive journey as they move onto secondary education. 'I lead an incredible staff body that culture of support, positive behavioural management and yes, making difficult decisions, which is a whole school ethos which is important. 'We want all of our children to reach their full potential.'
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Teachers Are Sharing The Rise In Misogyny They're Seeing In Young Boys In The Classroom, And It's Terrifying
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"I brought up the concern up with a parent, not directly to the student. The only thing I push is to be respectful to others. I would also be concerned and address misandry if observed." Other teachers chimed in. "46-year-old man here," one teacher, toddkhamilton, wrote. "When I was teaching in the late 2000s, another male teacher and I noticed the early signs of what has become a very serious situation with this topic." "We taught in a progressive education environment where the administration was very supportive of teacher led initiatives, so we proposed a 'G Day' (guys day) where for an hour and a half each Wednesday (basically lunch and recess), two other male teachers and myself would take the grade 5th-8th grade boys and just kind of hang together. We'd have a topic each week, and then open things up for the boys to ask questions." "It was incredible," toddkhamilton continued. "They'd ask fascinating questions about all sorts of things — people they saw online, situations they were in with girls or at home — and it worked really well. My colleagues and I saw a change in them, especially over the years of doing it." "It worked so well that the administration created the equivalent for the girls, and they felt it was successful too. I left after the third year, but heard they continued it until a head of school who felt it opened us up to liability took over and shut it down. Boys need healthy men to be able to talk to and share their thoughts with and learn from. Today's male youth seem to only really have toxic men to learn from. Until there are strong positive male voices equally available to them, the toxic bros are setting the agenda." Another male teacher, Leucippus1, wrote, "I have certainly noticed that the algorithm has been pushing overtly misogynistic content to me; I can only imagine what it does to teenage boys." Photosbypatrik / Getty Images, NBC Another user, Jack_of_Spades, replied, "I made one Facebook post that I was feeling sad after a breakup. My feed was flooded with 'the problem with women...' 'real men do___' shit for MONTHS. I'm thinking this AI fed algorithm shit should be illegal." "It should be, yes, wrote user MossSalamander. "A lot of vulnerable people are being radicalized to hate others because of this." "Middle School teacher here," wrote user ImpressiveCoffee3. "The boys watch all of that content, even a lot of the sixth graders. They say they don't take it seriously, but they keep watching it, and watching it, and watching it." DANIEL MIHAILESCU / AFP via Getty Images, Tulcarion / Getty Images "There is also a rise in the idea that they should all be entrepreneurs and not only skip higher education, but refuse to work for someone else. They think they should have 'motion' and that because I am a teacher, I have somehow failed at life because I am paid a salary by an organization." "Glad it isn't just me," wrote teacher lilygirl112; "I heard second grade boys praise Diddy." User poopbucketchallenge chimed in: "I also think these kids are on the internet FAR TOO EARLY and it should be illegal until 18 to access any part of online other than tightly controlled academic and safe-for-work curiosity stuff." Another teacher, _Lost_The_Game, wrote, "From what I remember as a kid, [they're just being] edgy, BUT…eventually it can set in unironically. I remember lots of my classmates starting to say things just to be edgy, and eventually it just became their default state, like how you start saying some phrase or word ironically, and then later it becomes normalized." A male teacher with the username misticspear wrote, "It's easy for me because boys who fall for that don't have a role model who THEY choose and respect, and that's typically my role. I go in hard early. Call Andrew Tate stupid and talk about how he preys on people who don't know any better. Then I lead by example." Replying to escrawl's question about whether she should "leave it be," u/Ranger_242 wrote, "No, you don't leave it be any more than you tolerate racism or other forms of bullying or hate." ABC "If it becomes enough of a problem, start writing referrals and get your union involved. As for parents, make it clear to them as well." High school teacher Helen_Cheddar wrote back, "Unfortunately, misogyny is a lot more socially acceptable than other forms of bigotry. I had my FEMALE principal brush it aside when I brought it up, and she essentially said, 'boys will be boys.'" "I see it in some of my first graders," wrote teacher nochickflickmoments, "especially in boys whose dads are clear with me that they voted for Trump. Or when one of the first graders told me 'that women shouldn't be president.'" ABC User Major-Platypus2092 wrote, "I've noticed this quite a bit. I'm one of the only male teachers in my department, and students will often look to me to validate their Andrew Tate bullshit. I've tried correcting them in various different ways, but usually what happens is they just decide I'm a 'simp' or whatever and not worth listening to. I've broken through a few times, but it's pretty horrifying." CBS / Via u/Brothless_Ramen wrote, "Yeah, it's pretty great how quickly a man instantly isn't a man because he doesn't buy into their garbage, it makes it so hard to pull them out. It's like they think there's this global conspiracy where all women and some men are personally against them and trying to make them fail algebra, and if you question that, you're part of the conspiracy." "My daughter just finished fifth grade, and after the election, she had several boys saying things like 'your body, my choice,' which is kind of horrifying," said user -dudess. User BugMillionaire wrote, "It's because the algorithms are designed to feed young boys alt-right/misogyny content. There have been many studies showing how the algorithm changes depending on age and gender, and how hard it is to deviate away from the alt-right info once you get it." "And we know how echo-chambery the internet is. Once they've gotten hooked, that's ALL they get. It's called algorithmic radicalization." "Yes," u/CharmingAmoeba3330 wrote in response, "This is what I was going to say. I saw a post the other day from a doctor and team who have been studying the growing misogyny in young boys. They said they found that if a kid, 17 or younger, made a TikTok account, within the first 17 seconds they would be pushed alt-right/misogyny content." "I also saw another post about the uptick of young teen boys murdering teen girls in the UK." "It's not just the boys," u/Sad-Biscotti-3034 wrote. " I teach senior girls in my government class who truly think that women should never run for office and claim they'd gladly give up their voting rights if they didn't have to work and could be homemakers." "Yes, I live in a very red county. It's scary because many of them are voting age, and I can only teach them so much in the amount of time I have with them." This behavior is so concerning, I want to hear what you have to say. Tell me all your opinions and first-hand stories in the comments — especially if you're a teacher, parent, or student. This is a necessary discussion to have! Or, if you want to write in but prefer to stay anonymous, you can check out the anonymous form below. Who knows — your story could be included in a future BuzzFeed article. Please note: some comments have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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"Tossing" Might Signal ADHD According To Experts
Many of us have heard of the DOOM pile. An acronym for 'didn't organize, only moved,' a DOOM pile could be a junk drawer with receipts, bills and other papers you've put off sorting. It could be a cardboard box in the corner of your bedroom full of desk clutter from your old job and other things you forgot you owned. For many with ADHD ― or others who stare down DOOM piles and feel overwhelmed ― it's easy to default to a less-than-ideal solution to all that organizational chaos: tossing. Yep, just throwing it all away, with fingers crossed there's nothing too important in there. Cate Osborn, an author and ADHD advocate and educator, has tossed her DOOM pile and said she knows plenty of others in the ADHD community who've done the same thing. 'It's not something that I would brag about or say that I'm particularly proud of, but I do know what it's like to be so completely overwhelmed that it's easier to say 'you know what, I don't need any of this' and just throw everything away.' Osborn, who's known online as Catieosaurus and hosts the podcast 'Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships,' gave an example to illustrate: organizing her desk. Inevitably, there are some items that don't have an assigned place in her house. She'll put that bric-a-brac in a box to sort through later on in the day. But then later comes and Osborn has run out of steam and focus. 'I'll say, 'OK, I'll set this bin of stuff aside and go through it later,' but because I also struggle with task prioritization and management and working memory, I keep forgetting about the box until I see the box, and often when I see the box, I'm in the middle of another task, so it sits for longer,' Osborn explained. Finally, days, maybe weeks later, she'll go through the box, only to experience choice paralysis: 'What should I keep?' she'll ask herself. 'What if I need it? What if it's useful later on.' Just like that, DOOM boxes pile up, until one day, she finally decides to sell the stuff online or, more likely than not ― toss it. (In her case, dropping it off at a local donation center.) 'It absolutely makes sense that a person with ADHD would get overwhelmed and say, 'I don't have the time, space or energy to go through this process, I'm just going to toss the entire box and be free of the clutter,'' she said. Madison Perry, a psychologist and owner of Austin Holistic Psychology, has heard clients talk about tossing. She likens the impulse to closing all of your internet browser tabs at once: It's a dangerous business, but it feels amazing. 'Similarly, people with ADHD have too many mental tabs open at once,' she said. 'They can become overwhelmed and have to find a way to exit out of a tab or two. Throwing something away takes maintaining that item or finding its rightful storage space off of the overwhelming to-do list.' Of course, you don't have to have ADHD to be guilty of tossing: Think of the sense of relief you feel when you're able to hide your pile of laundry and toddler's toys in a spare closet right before a guest arrives. Voila, your house is clean, at least temporarily. Unfortunately, sometimes in the process of wholesale trash tossing, you accidentally throw away important items (like crucial mail or documents), as has happened with some of Perry's clients. 'They were in that much of a rush to declutter,' she said What's going on with the impulse to toss among ADHD-ers? Tossing is directly tied to executive dysfunction, a behavioral symptom that interferes with ADHD-ers' ability to begin tasks and comprehend what's required to complete them, explained Oliver Drakeford, a psychotherapist in West Hollywood, California. 'It's not just impulsive decluttering; for many people with ADHD, it's an automatic, reactive behavior that helps people avoid feelings of uncertainty, anxiety and overwhelm that arises when the brain is overstimulated by a big pile of clutter or mess,' Drakeford told HuffPost. Tossing can also be linked with experiential avoidance, which, broadly speaking, are attempts to avoid thoughts, feelings, memories, physical sensations and other internal experiences, even when doing so hurts you in the long run. 'For example, rather than uncertainty and anxiety generated when you look at the pile of letters and bills that have accumulated, you avoid ― hopefully momentarily ― but throwing them all in a draw until you're ready to look through them one by one,' Drakeford said. Drakeford sees 'tossing' as an attempt to generate those same feelings of tranquility that a blank slate (or tidy room) can bring you. It feels like a win for those with ADHD because it brings instant relief, but the reality is that it's a Band-Aid over deeper feelings of emotional overload or uncertainty. 'In the long run, tossing doesn't really help develop distress tolerance for these uncomfortable feelings, nor does it help develop healthier ADHD management skills,' he said. If you tend to 'toss,' here's how to get a handle on it. Amriphoto / Getty Images First, give some thought to why you 'toss' when you do. The first step in making meaningful change from a therapeutic perspective is becoming aware of the emotions driving your actions, according to Drakeford. 'If you're not conscious of feelings like anxiety, uncertainty, or stress, you're more likely to operate on autopilot and resort to tossing things impulsively,' he said. By recognizing your emotional state, you create space to address and soothe those feelings ― giving you more options, which may still include tossing, but in a more mindful way, he said. Don't be afraid to throw away things that genuinely need to be tossed. Look, it's absolutely OK to throw out take-out containers or other food items if they've gotten gross or moldy. 'I think as people with ADHD it's important to try to avoid being wasteful and contributing to piles of plastic in our landfills, but sometimes, taking ownership of our space means making hard choices and having to decide where we draw the line,' Osborn said. 'If being surrounded by moldy dishes is impacting your quality of life, then it may be time to be drastic.' Try the '10 Things Game.' The ADHD brain often assumes it needs to accomplish everything all at once, which leads to stress and anxiety ― exactly the kind of bummer feelings that result in DOOM boxes and then tossing. To curb this tendency and help cut down large tasks into smaller, manageable ones, give the '10 Things Game' a shot, Drakeford said. 'For example, instead of tackling an entire stack of bills, start by opening just 10,' he said. 'Or instead of cleaning the whole kitchen, begin with washing 10 dishes. Completing these small tasks often feels manageable, and if it does, you can always do 10 more.' Establish a 'Two-Minute Rule.' If a task will take you less than two minutes to complete, do it now, Drakeford said. 'For instance, after breakfast, take two minutes to wash your cereal bowl or put it in the dishwasher right away ― don't wait until you get home from work, do it now,' he said. Be kind to yourself. Osborn said she reads a lot of the comments on ADHD articles and sees so much criticism and hurtful attitudes: Things like 'you're just lazy, you're just not trying hard enough, just buckle down, you're immature, what a terrible awful wasteful person.' What she wants people to understand is that ADHD is a disability of executive function. 'It's not that we aren't trying hard enough, it's not that we're lazy, it's that our brains literally process information differently, and those differences really show up in situations like this,' she said. When you're talking about ADHD, you're not talking about a couple of easy steps like 'sit down, go through the box, donate,' Osborn explained. 'To the ADHD brain, it's a series of hundreds of much smaller tasks, all of which are taking energy to process,' she said. 'It's not fun to feel so overwhelmed by a pile of stuff you throw it in the trash. When we do that, it's because it's a last resort.' While you're working through this, remember to be kind to yourself, Osborn said. 'It's so easy to feel like a bad person for creating waste or to feel like you are powerless over your space,' she said. 'There are great resources available to help with learning organization strategies ― sites, podcasts ― and it's really important if you have a kid with ADHD to teach them skills that work with their brains, not against it.' HuffPost.
