I went on the bucket-list Intrepid tour with world-famous beaches, legendary football and 80p cocktails
Milandra wasn't taking no for an answer, though, and forced me to my feet.
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I went on a bucket list South America Tour, pictured Rio de Janeiro in Brazil
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Relax on world famous Copacabana beach
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Before I knew what was happening, she and I were locked in a tight embrace, spinning around the dance floor.
I usually avoid dancing in public, but in Buenos Aires, the tango is so culturally important, I felt it would be rude not to try.
So I'd paid a visit to one of the city's milongas — ramshackle dance clubs found throughout the Argentine capital — where dance enthusiasts assemble every night to cut a rug with one another.
I just hoped the locals wouldn't be too offended by what was essentially an act of desecration on my part, as I clumsily stumbled around the room, trying my best to stay on my feet while not crushing Milandra's.
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They say it takes two to tango, but really, she was the only one contributing to our performance.
I was merely there — a practice dummy, as useful and as graceful as a big sack of sugar, but still, somehow, absolutely thrilled to be a part of it.
That's the overriding emotion of South America — sheer and simple joy.
I walked around in persistant child-like wonder, gawping idiotically at everything I found myself immersed in.
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Nowhere else was that more prevalent than Iguazu Falls, the centrepiece of Intrepid's seven-day Best of Argentina and Brazil tour that starts in Buenos Aires and ends in Rio de Janeiro, via a two-day trip to the most breath-taking natural park I have ever visited.
In places like this, guides will lower expectations by explaining that they 'can't promise anything' when it comes to which wildlife will make an appearance.
Outside of New York City I found vineyards, breweries and a race track
They needn't be so cagey in Iguazu, with the sprawling stretch of jungle that saddles the border between the two countries packed with a gloriously diverse wealth of creatures.
Toucans and parrots flew overhead, capybaras relaxed in the cooling waters of the Iguazu River and mischievous coati, a relative of the raccoon, flocked to picnic areas to fight over tourists' dropped scraps.
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All of this, and so much more, plays out in front of the most awe-inspiring backdrop, the falls, which were officially declared one of the New 7 Wonders of Nature in 2011.
'Thrilling ambience'
Rickety walkways offer vantage points to view most of the landmark's astounding angles, although guests can also take helicopter rides overhead, as well as a boat ride that is slightly more extreme than its name suggests.
My fellow sailors and I were tossed about in our seats as our high-powered vessel first took on a barrage of rapids, before the skilled driver zipped in and out of some of the falls' more powerful sections, completely drenching each of us to the bone.
I can't remember ever being quite so soaked, but the cool waters of the aggressive power shower were very refreshing in the 38C heat.
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It also enabled me to gain a truer appreciation of the force of nature I had been lucky enough to spend two exhilarating days exploring.
Luckily, the opportunity to relax was provided at my final stop, Rio, where the locals on the famous Copacabana beach go out of their way to prevent you from having to do anything at all.
After renting a chair for the day for just £2, I was approached by a steady stream of men with barbecues offering to cook enormous prawns, grilled cheeses or various meats without me ever needing to move from my spot.
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Iguazu Falls is the centrepiece of Intrepid's seven-day Best of Argentina and Brazil tour
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Toucans fill the jungle
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Even more pleasing was the constant flow of vendors serving refreshing caipirinhas, the Brazilian's cocktail of choice — a dangerously drinkable mix of sugar, limes and cachaca, a local spirit made from fermented sugar cane that has the strength of a Long Island iced tea masked by the sweetness of a can of Lilt.
They're not just found by the beach, either. In fact, they're sold from stalls throughout the city and range in price from 80p to around £3, according to the extensive research that I selflessly conducted.
They're even sold at the city's tourist spots, with bars found on top of Sugarloaf Mountain, which offers stunning views over the city's beaches and coruscating favelas, as well as the Selaron Steps — 215 stairs colourfully decorated with tiles by Chilean artist Jorge Selaron that connect the city centre with the flamboyantly graffitied Santa Teresa neighbourhood.
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Perilous perch
The main sight to see is the Christ The Redeemer statue, which has stood atop Mount Corcovado since 1931.
It's an impressive monument to behold, particularly up close, where the craftsmanship that went into carving Jesus' face almost 100 years ago can be truly admired.
From its perilous perch, tourists can pick out other famous sights, including the stage where most of Rio's carnival celebrations take place, and the Maracana stadium, where the Brazilian national football team and Flamengo play.
South American fans are considered to be among the more rambunctious, so, keen to see what all the fuss was about, I got myself a ticket, with Intrepid's tours including matches as an optional extra.
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The streets surrounding the 78,000-seat arena were bursting with life from as much as two hours before kick-off, with barbecues, beer and, of course, caipirinhas all on offer, as Flamengo fans in their Dennis The Menace-esque black and red home shirts made their way to the ground.
Once inside the legendary stadium, the noise and atmosphere only intensified, with samba beats being beaten loudly from drums, while pyrotechnics and giant flags enhanced the thrilling ambience.
I did my best to sing along with the home fans, despite not knowing any Portuguese, and by the end I felt like an honorary member of their troop as we roared on Flamengo to a hard-fought 1-0 win.
Then, as the fans filtered out afterwards, singing and dancing into the night, I ordered a final caipirinha and already began to feel a profound sense of longing for this truly magnificent part of the world before I'd even started packing for my flight home the next morning.
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Luckily, with trips like Intrepid's highlights tour, it's easy enough to plan another visit for the not-too-distant future.
I just need to make sure I take a few tango lessons beforehand, so I can sweep Milandra off her feet next time, instead of almost standing all over them.
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The tango is so culturally important to Argentina
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Enjoy a kickabout at the Maracanã, Brazil
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There is a constant flow of vendors serving refreshing caipirinhas
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A macaw at Iguazu falls
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GO: South America Tour
GETTING THERE:
Air Europa flies from the UK to Buenos Aires in Argentina from £636 return.
See
TOURING THERE:
A seven-day Best of Argentina & Brazil tour costs from £2,304pp including accommodation, transfers, tours and some meals (six breakfasts, one lunch and one dinner).
Flights cost extra, but Intrepid can book these for travellers along with their tour.
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