I Watched 'Jaws' For The First Time & Here's My Reaction
Oh, yeah, it also won three Academy Awards, NBD...
But even after all these accolades, I have never seen it... until now. So grab your chum bucket (aka popcorn), and watch the movie with me for the 50th anniversary below:
Cool, cool, cool, cool... we're just starting off with the Jaws theme song. This is fine...I'm fine.
Oh, look, now we're hanging out with the youths while they have a bonfire. And this man approached a woman... who was hanging by herself, might I add. Sir, stay in your lane.
Now they're running toward the beach because Chrissie wants to go swimming?? Girl, it's in the middle of the night! Why do you think this is a good idea?? (I can already tell, I'm too old to hang with these youths...)
"I'm not drunk!!" said a very "sober" nameless man as he ran after her. *facepalm*
Wait... now Chrissie is in the ocean by herself... in the middle of the night?? In this economy??? And this man, who is NAMELESS, is struggling to take his clothes off because he's "not drunk"? This isn't going to end well.
However, Chrissie's footwork? 10/10
And the Jaws music is back...
Damn, you, American composer and conductor John Williams... damn you.
Bruce got her!! Chrissie is screaming for her life! And this NAMELESS man is just lying on the beach?? Absolutely not.
Why are you doing this to me so early in the movie, Steven Spielberg??
So now it's the following morning, and we're at Martin and Ellen Brody's house... AND THEIR SON HAS A CUT ON HIS HAND?? It's too early for this. What is going on with the youths in this town??
Okay, Martin and Ellen are so cute together. A healthy couple in a thriller movie? I'll take it.
Also, can we talk about how great this shot is? You find out he's the chief of the Amity Police Department with perfect positioning of the car behind the fence, and the color contrast is *chef kiss.*
"And nobody saw her go into the water?" "Somebody could have, but I was sort of... passed out." YOU DID THIS, NAMELESS MAN!
Oh, no... they found Chrissie.
Well, thanks to Polly, we finally figured out how Martin's son hurt his hand: Apparently, kids have been karate chopping picket fences.
*shakes fists* Youths.
Now Martin needs to go to the store to get supplies to create "beach closed" signs. A man of many talents...
"This stuff is not going to help me in August. ... You haven't got one thing I ordered. Not a beach umbrella, not a sun lounger, no beach balls. If I can't get service..." Okay, sir, in the background, you don't need to be rude to the store owner! Where is that shark when we need him... #sharkattackonland
"You're going to shut down the beaches on your own authority? ... Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars..." Oh, this mayor is the devil, isn't he? Capitalism at its finest.
I don't like how much the camera is focusing on the dog...
Or this boy...
"Are you okay?" "Everything is fine, it's fine..." Don't hide your anxiety, Martin! Tell your wife how you feel!!!
Also, props to Ellen for being a supportive wife. "If the kids going into the water is worrying you, they can play on the beach." #morehealthycouplesinfilm
"We know all about you, Chief. You don't go into the water at all, do you?" I don't condone making fun of old men, but HOW DARE YOU, HARRY. Don't bring up Martin's traumas to his face. Martin is right: That is some "bad hat, Harry." Now, go back into the water where you belong.
Ugh, I knew it. The owner is calling for his dog, Pippet.
The dog didn't deserve this, Steven Spielberg!
Okay, you (kinda) won me back, Steven. Only because you did this iconic dolly zoom shot when Bruce unfortunately killed the kid and the dog.
#justiceforpippet
"Any special questions?" "Is that $3,000 bounty on the shark cash or check?" Oh, hell no. A kid (and a dog) just died, sir. Go straight to jail!!
The absolute worst (yet best) introduction to a new character ever??? I might say so.
My body will never recover from this sound.
"I don't want no volunteers. I don't want no mates. ... $10,000 for me, by myself. For that, you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing." Uhhhh, yeah, I would trust this guy with my whole life. Give this fisherman all your money to kill this shark!! For the boy, for Pippet!!!
"Oh, you scared me!" He scared you, Ellen?? You were the one who snuck up behind him while he was reading about sharks!
At least she forces him to stop reading so he can fall asleep. "Wanna get drunk and fool around?" Get it. #morehealthycouplesinmovies
OHHHHHHH, Matt Hooper has entered the chat!!
And so has the rest of New England!! Everyone is trying to get that $3,000 reward from the boy's mom to kill the shark, but everyone is not thinking straight!! Why are so many people trying to get into a small boat?? Why was a person holding dynamite so casually?? It feels like Martin is trying to control a bunch of wild children!! Is this what parenting is like??
"Gentlemen, the officer asked me to tell you that you are overloading the boat!" "Ah, get out of here..." "Ha, ha... they're all going to die." This feels a little too close to what's happening in today's political world. *facepalm* I'm not triggered, you're triggered.
WHY ARE THESE DOGS ON A BOAT WHILE A MAN IS THROWING CHUM INTO THE OCEAN?!?!?! Does no one care about dogs in this movie?? I give up! *Throws myself into the ocean*
Oh, Matt, who is the marine biologist, asked to see Chrissie... and she's in this wash basin... Oh, Chrissie.
I'll never forgive you, nameless man!! #justiceforchrissie
Ah, so they think they caught THE SHARK... but Matt has other opinions on the matter. "The fact is the bite radius on this animal is different than the wounds on the victim. I want to be sure. You want to be sure. ... Let's cut it open. Whatever it's eaten in the last 24 hours is bound to still be in there, and then we'll be sure." That's right, Matty, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!!
Lord, the mayor has OPINIONS on Matty's professional analysis of the situation??? OF COURSE HE DOES!! "Look, fellas, let's be reasonable, huh?" Reasonable, Larry?? Reasonable? I'LL SHOW YOU REASONABLE!!
The boy's mom came to see Martin and SLAPPED HIM! "I just found out that a girl got killed here last week... and you knew it." What a heartbreaking scene... and she's 100% right. Her boy is dead because of the choices the town made just to get "summer dollars." What a disgrace!
And Larry, the devil — ahem — the mayor, had the audacity to say she was wrong???? Let me at him!!
Thankfully, Martin said she wasn't wrong. DAMN STRAIGHT!! That woman lost her son because of you, Larry!!
Well, I'm officially a part of the Matt Hooper club. Why? I'm so glad you asked:
#1 He invited himself over and brought TWO different wine bottles because he didn't know what the Brodys were serving for dinner.#2 He asked if anyone was eating the full plate of food that was on the table, which was clearly not made for him.#3 He began to tell Martin that he should let the wine breathe, as Martin stopped giving a fuck and poured himself a giant glass.
Also, add me to the Martin Brody fan club, too. His wife: "Martin hates boats. Martin hates water. Martin sits in his car when we go onto the ferry to the mainland. I guess it's a childhood thing. There's a clinical name for it..." Martin: "Drowning."
"I can do anything... I'm the chief of police." YES, PREACH, MARTIN, PREACH. Stand in your power and drink that giant-ass glass of wine!
Cue Mariah Carey's "Hero". "And when a hero comes along..."
#4 reason why I'm in the Matt Hooper club: He's an encouraging "friend"...
Matt: "I gotta find [the shark] right now; he's a night feeder.Martin: "ON THE WATER?"Matt: "Well, if we're looking for a shark, we're not going to find him on the land."Martin: "Yeah, but I'm not drunk enough to go on a boat."Matt: "Yes, you are."Martin: "No, I'm not."Matt: "Yes, you are!"Martin: "I can't do that."Matt: "Yes, you can."
Seems like Martin found a larger "glass" for his boat ride!
You won't catch him wine-ing about it. (I'm sorry, I had to.)
JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH!!
What is going on with this abandoned boat they found?!?!
"We will be open for business." Even after EVERYTHING that has happened, this m*therf*cker still doesn't want to close the beaches? I've never hated a character more.
Sorry for the swear words, familia, but my god. I need a "Martin-sized" cup of wine right about now.
These families have no idea a people-eating shark is in the water!
And Larry "the Devil" is asking this person and his family to get into the water, KNOWING there is a shark somewhere out there. Somebody hold me back because I'm about to jump through the TV screen.
Well, look at that, LARRY. There's a shark, and someone else has died!
You're lucky Martin and Ellen's kid got out alive!!!
Oh, NOW Larry realizes what he's done?? "I was acting in the town's best interest. ... My kids were on that beach, too." Don't you dare! Just sign the damn papers Martin is giving you to hire the shark murderer and go on your way, sir!
#justiceforpippet
Oh, this fisherman like hates-hates sharks.
"What am I going to tell the kids?" "Tell them I'm going fishing." OMG, where did this sweat around my eyes come from??
Ah, look at these two becoming best friends...
JK, they hate each other's chum guts.
"He's gone under the boat. I think he's gone under the boat!" WTF does that mean, QUINT? What does that mean?!?!
Quint: "Marlin, Stingray bit through this piano wire? Don't you tell me my business again." Yeah, I'm gonna steal that.
Oh, and let's sketch this on the biggest billboard we find, too: "Well, it proves one thing, Mr. Hooper: It proves that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong." SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
BRUCE HAS RISEN!!!
Martin has risen!!!
"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
(Also, is this the first full look of Bruce's face??? An hour-ish into the movie??? Such a smart idea to lead up to this reveal!!)
Can we talk about how this scene would never be shot today? A real boat, in the real ocean, with real water? Give us realism, please and thank you!
#2 reason why I'm a part of the Martin Brody fan club: "Martin, move, move, move!" "I'm not going out there!" "Go beyond the edge of the barrels. Further out!" "WHY? What for?" "I need to have something in the foreground to give it some scale!" "Foreground my ass!"
FIRST SHOT!!!
But he disappeared! Omg, my hair is falling out from all the stress.
Wait, are Quint and Matt actually becoming besties after trying to fight a shark all day??? Look at them!!
Oh... is this why Quint hates sharks? He was on the USS Indianapolis, where the boat was sunk by a Japanese submarine, and sailors were fighting for their lives in shark-infested waters...Oh, I don't blame him...
Okay, it's the next day and BRUCE IS BACK!!
And Quint smashed the hell out of the radio with a bat while Martin was trying to radio in the Coast Guard for help!! He's gone cuckoo for Coco Puffs!!
SECOND SHOT!!!
AND A THIRD SHOT, too!! Quint won't quit!!!
They tried to tie Bruce to the boat to bring him in, but he's too powerful!! I wasn't expecting Bruce to be a beast like this!!! Now I understand how this shark made people terrified of the ocean in the '70s!!
Good news is: Bruce can't stay underwater with three barrels attached!! haha SUCK IT, BRUCE!!
Of course, Bruce is angry and decides to chase them... of course!! Yeah, I'm never going into the ocean again.
But their boat is falling apart as they try to go back to the shore to drown Bruce. Why didn't anyone tell me the last hour of the movie is just straight chaos?!?!
Welp, I guess the only option is to put Matty into the shark cage so he can poison Bruce up close. This is fine... he's fine.
Oh, no!! He lost the poison stick and is now hiding from the shark in the water!! AND MARTIN AND QUINT THINK HE'S DEAD!!
Aw, now Bruce feels bad and wants to replace Matt by becoming the "third fisherman"... JK, he wants to eat them as little snackies.
I can't help but think of Martin and how he must feel during this time: He hates the ocean and he hates boats; he didn't ask for any of this, but he got sucked in because of Larry! Now, a shark is trying to "board" a boat in the middle of the ocean to eat him and his mate. He'll need a therapist after this.
NOOOOO, QUINT IS DEAD!!!!
Martin is DEFINITELY going to need to see a therapist after this...
Martin threw one of the oxygen tanks into the shark's mouth!! Didn't Quint say earlier that the shark was going to eat one of the tanks as a joke? I guess it's coming true!!!
For someone who hates water and boats (and sharks), Martin is killing it!! His therapist will be so proud.
MARTIN KILLED THE SHARK ALL BY HIMSELF!!!! He don't need no (fisher)man!!!
And he found out his bestie Matty is alive!!
Oh, Quint, you got the $10,000 but never got to use it. That's so unfair!!
"I used to hate the water." "I can't imagine why." OMG, what an amazing ending. What a jaw-dropping movie (see what I did there)? SO GOOD!
Have you seen Jaws? Tell us what you think of the movie in the comments below.
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Over the years, she's continued to release new music, including her two EPs in 2020 titled Virgo Tendencies, Pt. 1 and Virgo Tendencies, Pt 2. Most recently, Palmer announced her new girl group, Diva Gurl, alongside three other singers. 'Pre-Save our 1st single #SOB today!' Palmer wrote on Instagram. 'Prepare to be slayed on June 21st #DivaGurl.' Tiffany Haddish Tiffany Haddish surprised her followers this week when she announced her new single, 'Woman Up.' 'Really, it's an all-the-way-around song because everybody has their dual sides,' Haddish told Entertainment Tonight. 'I'm like an onion; sometimes you catch me out in public and put a camera in my face, I'm like, 'La da.' Sometimes you put a camera in my face and catch me outside [and] I'll be like, 'Listen, I'm not in the mood right now.' There's different levels to it.' Haddish has also released a few singles over the years, including 2023's 'Till The Club Close' and 'Too Much' in 2020. Kate Hudson Kate Hudson first dabbled in music in her 2021 appearance in musical-movie Music, which was written by Sia. The actress, who is perhaps best known for her Oscar-nominated performance in Almost Famous or her iconic rom-com hit How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, officially stepped into music in 2024 with two singles, Talk About Love and Live Forever. Shortly after, on May 18, she released her first-ever album, Glorious. Zendaya Acting, dancing, singing, being a fashion icon; we don't think there's anything Zendaya can't do. Most recently, the Emmy-winning actress made everyone gasp as she surprised fans with a performance of 'All for Us' and 'I'm Tired' with Labrinth at Coachella. She can really do it all! Lily James Lily James, who already showed off her singing chops in Cinderella and Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again, just released a new single for her upcoming movie What's Love Got To Do With It? 'It was an absolute pleasure working in the studio with both [composer] Nitin [Sawhney] and Naughty Boy,' James told Daily Mail. 'Music plays a huge part in the film, and I'm thrilled to contribute to this amazing single alongside some incredible artists.' Could this be the start of a new career direction for James? Jeremy Renner Marvel's very own Hawkeye can do much more than throw arrows, he can sing too! In addition to a few singles, Jeremy Renner's first EP The Medicine dropped in March 2020. Hailee Steinfeld At just 14 years old, we knew Hailee Steinfeld was the real deal when she was nominated for an Oscar for her role in True Grit. Since then, Steinfeld's proved she can do much more than acting and that she's an incredible singer too! In addition to some hit singles like 'Let Me Go,' 'Love Myself' and most recently 'Coast,' she also released her EP, Half Written Story, in 2020. Hugh Laurie After learning how talented Hugh Laurie is, you'll be left wondering why House never had a musical episode. Laurie has released two blues albums over the years: Let Them Talk and Didn't It Rain. Robert Pattinson Following his stint in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Robert Pattinson was sure he was going to head into the music business. 'I really thought I was gonna do music at that point,' he shared with GQ in 2022. 'I don't know where I had the, kind of, belief in that because there was absolutely no one saying that there's a music career on the table. But I was doing a lot of gigs, constantly doing open mics all the time. And then…I ran out of money, basically.' Fortunately, Pattinson was cast in the Twilight films, for which he got to show off some of his music talents with two songs on the movie's soundtrack. Jared Leto Jared Leto rose to fame on the '90s teen drama My So-Called Life. But once the series wrapped, he and his brother, Shannon, formed the group Thirty Seconds to Mars. The band has put out albums since the early 2000s, all while Leto's been building his impressive acting career, winning an Oscar for his role in Dallas Buyers Club along the way. One of the band's most famous songs is their 2009 single 'Kings and Queens.' Emmy Rossum Long before she was Fiona Gallagher on Shameless, Emmy Rossum was training at Metropolitan Opera Children's Chorus. Once her acting career took off, Rossum was still able to put her singing skills to use with her role as Christine Daaé in the 2004 film adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera. Three years later, she released her first album, followed by another in 2013. Emily Blunt Oppenheimer's Emily Blunt has captivated us with her work in period pieces, modern romances, and adventure films — but where she really shined the brightest is when she sang in the cinematic adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods as the Baker's Wife and as the titular character of our collective youth, Mary Poppins, in Mary Poppins Returns. Eddie Murphy One of, if not the, most successful comedic actor of our time, Eddie Murphy has a repertoire filled with modern day classics. The man who brought us Coming to America, Beverly Hills Cop (I, II, and III), 48 Hours (I and II), Boomerang, the Shrek trilogy, iconic stand-up specials that set the bar for what comedy could be, and years on SNL, can also sing. He's released five (music) albums starting in 1985 with single 'Party All the Time' which reached #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts. It's still very much a non-guilty pleasure. Robert Downey Jr. Oscar-winning Oppenheimer star Robert Downey Jr. released an album of eight original compositions and two covers back in 2004. We're partial to the opening track, 'Man Like Me.' Kristen Bell Kristen Bell is really known for her voice (her acting voice, that is), and for good reason. She voiced the hidden narrator on Gossip Girl, she's acted in TV hits like The Good Place and Veronica Mars, and in films like Forgetting Sarah Marshall…but back to that whole voice thing. She's also the voice of Anna from Frozen and Frozen 2, the mega-popular film series that finally brought her singing chops to light. Nicole Kidman This Australian megastar is such a talent that it's really not all that surprising that she can also sing. I mean, we challenge you to name a film or TV mini-series she's been a part of where you weren't blown away by her performance. Go ahead. We'll wait. In her HBO monster hit The Undoing, she sang the theme song, a haunting cover of The Mama and The Papa's 'Dream A Little Dream of Me.' David Hasselhoff No list of actors who sing would be worth its weight in salt without the inclusion of The Hoff. Yes, he's a legend because of The Young and the Restless, Knight Rider, and Baywatch, but with his 1988 single 'Looking for Freedom' he reached new heights of fame, particularly in Germany, with a song so big he performed it live at the Berlin Wall on New Year's Eve in 1989. Rita Wilson Surely you know Rita Wilson as an actor from films such as Sleepless in Seattle, It's Complicated, and Volunteers, or as a one of the producers of the highest grossing independent film of all time, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. She's also a singer-songwriter who's released four country-tinged albums starting with 2012's covers project AM/FM which includes a lovely version of Glen Campbell's 'Wichita Lineman.' Scarlett Johansson She's won a Tony (in 2010 for her performance in the revival of A View From the Bridge), is a bonafide superhero (thanks to her role as Black Widow in the Marvel Cinematic Universe), and has been appearing in critically acclaimed films since she was 12 years old. But did you know she also has two albums? Yup. Her solo LP Anywhere I Lay My Head (an album of Tom Waits covers) came out in 2008 and the following year she and Pete Yorn released their collaborative collection Break Up which is 100% worth checking out. Zooey Deschanel You probably know Zooey Deschanel from her Globe-nominated performance as Jess in the TV hit New Girl and in films such as 500 Days of Summer, Almost Famous and Failure to Launch. But, in addition to acting, Zooey is one half of indie pop band She & Him (She's the She, M. Ward is Him). They've released six albums in total – three original, one of covers, and two for Christmas (A Very She & Him Christmas and Christmas Party). Zoë Kravitz It was inevitable that Zoë Kravitz would become not just a star but a multi-hyphenate by virtue of her parentage (Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz) but she has proven herself to be a formidable actress with commendable performances on TV in Big Little Lies and High Fidelity and in films like the Divergent series. She's also the frontwoman of R&B electropop duo Lolawolf, named for her younger half siblings (awww), Lola and Wolf, who have released two albums, including 2020's Tenderness. Donald Glover From writing on TV for 30 Rock to starring in Community and Atlanta to films such as Magic Mike XXL and a little-known series called Star Wars where he portrayed a young Lando Calrissien, Donald Glover has proven to be a serious talent. He records under the pseudonym Childish Gambino and has released six albums to date. 'This Is America,' his Grammy Award-winning single and music video, is a poignant critique of gun violence and racism in the U.S. that debuted at number 1 on the Billboard charts. Jada Pinkett Smith She's been acting in TV and film for 30 years (Menace to Society, Set It Off, the Madagascar films) and is most recently known for hosting The Red Table Talk on Facebook Watch with her mom and daughter. But did you know she's also the lead singer in a nu metal band? Yup. Jada's band Wicked Wisdom has been around since 2002 and has toured with Britney Spears and Ozzy Osborne. Know anyone else that can say that? William Shatner To one generation, he will always be Captain Kirk. To another, he's Denny Crane of Boston Legal. And yet to another, he's the Priceline spokesman. He is all of these things, but he is also a man who has released what might be the strangest set of spoken word albums ever, starting in 1968 and continuing to his latest album, Blues, which was released in 2021. Included in his catalog are covers of U2's 'In A Little While' with Lyle Lovett, Robert Johnson's classic 'Sweet Home Chicago' with Brad Paisley, and the unforgettable opening to his 2004 William Shatner Has Been LP which opened with Pulp's 'Common People.' Solve the daily Crossword
