50 Mundane Products That Are, To Put It Lightly, Life Changing
A set of cult-favorite extra soft cooling bedsheets (boasting a mind-boggling 245,000 5-star reviews!!), folks say feel like sleeping at a luxurious hotel. If you've found falling asleep a chore because of tossing, turning, and *sweating* at night, then treat yourself to these must-have sheets.
And a pair of cooling pillowcases with thousands of dreamy reviews from *previously* sweaty sleepers. Don't keep waking and flipping your toasty pillow over in frustration — it's gonna be your cool sleep summer!
Built's "Puff Protein Bars" that'll make you the envy of everybody on your commute to work when they see that *you* have a fun breakfast. Let me be the first to tell you, these things are too good for this world. I don't know how Built was able to pack chocolate-covered marshmallows with 17 grams of protein, but I'm glad the witchcraft worked because these are life-changing.
A Windex outdoor glass cleaner for homeowners who have no idea how to get their top-floor windows free of the rain stains and bird poop that keep *taunting* them from outside their otherwise spotless space. If your fear of heights keeps you from getting a ladder tall enough to scrub your windows (same), snag this stuff! Just attach this Windex bottle to your hose and spray the solution all over the place! Ahhh, you can see clearly now.
Monday Haircare Dry Shampoo with a gorgeous gardenia scent and a formula that'll give you the satisfying clean your hair needs with a lil' keratin treatment thrown in. This'll help protect against the frizz and breakage spring humidity inevitably brings. Plus, the packaging'll make your bathroom counter look beautiful all on its own.
A set of breathable, seamless thongs specifically loved by several reviewers who "hate" thongs. Folks say these are comfortable all day *and* claim they're comparable to (and even better than!) brands like Skims and Victoria's Secret. I'm sold. Like, literally. Buying now.
A hidden fly trap you plug into an outlet when you have house flies, fruit flies, moths, or gnats crawling around. The little light lures bugs by up to 400 feet (!!!), and the sneaky design means this thing'll be blastin' bugs by the dozen without ruining your room's clean aesthetic.
A daily planner to help you track school schedules, chores, and even your water intake if your spring cleaning goals this year are more about cleaning up your cluttered mind. Thanks, A-types, for finding a way to keep the house clean *and* stay hydrated...with a planner.
A 2-in-1 kitchen scale and measuring cup that'll save space and keep things simple while you bake delicacies that are anything but. This works with both your wet and dry ingredients, so feel free to forget about washing a big batch of dishes after making a batch of your best Dubai chocolate chocolate chip cookies.
A travel brush with a hidden compartment, sure to be looked upon with envy by your overpacked travel buddies as they desperately try to find some open space on the counter of your hotel bathroom. Trying to fit seven people in two rooms has not worked out as well as your friends thought it would. But hey, *you've* got a brush with enough room for toothpaste and tampons! You're doing great.
Medicube's "Zero Pore" Pads, a beloved Korean skincare secret with a magical mix of lactic and salicylic acid that'll redefine what "smooth" means to your skin. The dual-textured toner pads both exfoliate and refine your pores, making your face feel positively silky soft.
A pack of Snug Plugs so you can breathe easy knowing your router is, in fact, plugged in and working. It wasn't you, it was your landlord's special outlet (the one practically hanging on for dear life from your living room wall). Now you can be confident knowing your outlets are all snug as a bug.
An oscillating tower fan with six speeds (we're talkin' up to 24 feet per second velocity), three modes, and a surprisingly quiet design despite its power. If you're intimidated by installing an A.C. in your fourth-floor window...you're gonna be a big fan of this gadget.
A smooth edge can opener — a Shark Tank favorite that'll remove the entire top off of any can (it's got a universal fit!), helping you take your canned drinks to the next level this summer. Pop off the top of your Diet Coke and add in some ice cream, mixers, ice, or whatever else you have. Then safely sip away! I'm feeling refreshed just thinking about it.
A bottle of professional-grade callus-removing gel (with over 40,000 five-star reviews!!) to get your neglected feet sandal-season ready — to use this spiffy stuff, just presoak your feet, apply the gel, let it sit, and rinse. Watch in wonder as you scrape off *years* worth of painful calluses.
A Pikk-it tool for anyone who has practically sacrificed their fingers trying to dig into the brushes of their vacuum to remove hair, lint, and buildup that has made it less than effective. Tiny, inexpensive tools that help your *expensive* products work better are the lifeblood of responsibility. Help take care of the things that... take care of the things that... need to be done in your life!
A Tub Topper that'll completely change the game vis-à-vis toddler baths. This suction-cups onto your tub (making it practically universal for any ol' bathtub) and gives your kids a *ton* of extra space to play. PLUS, it is an A+ splash guard, so you'll be able to get your kids clean without needing to mop up the bathroom floor every dang day.
A retinol body lotion — sure, retinol is great for your face, but there's a whole *body* of skin it can help out! This particularly dreamy, creamy formula helps promote skin cell turnover using retinol, while the ferulic acid firms skin to promote natural skin tightening.
Qualify's chocolate brownie protein powder, a plant protein option for folks who just want to drink a dang milkshake once in a while, okay?! With this unreasonably delicious mix (packed with a spiffy 20 grams of protein per serving), you can live your Willy Wonka dreams and have chocolate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner *and* feel full and energetic after! Delicious.
A mattress lifter sure to delight A-types who want their hospital corners looking *crisp.* AND if you hate making the bed because tucking the sheets under your two-ton foam mattress makes you sweat, this may be the key you need to unlock your bed-making abilities. This elevates the heaviest of mattresses to make tucking in sheets *way* easier.
PanOxyl Antimicrobial Hydrating Acne Creamy Wash — if you've been hoping their OG foaming wash worked on your sensitive skin, they heard your wish! Not only is this great on sensitive skin, but it'll also help clear up acne-causing bacteria on your whole body! It's designed to get rid of existing acne and prevent further breakouts by deep-cleaning your pores. A gift!
A portable air compressor so small and mighty it seems like something Mary Poppins would whip out of her magic carpet bag. If your tire deflates somewhere inconvenient, this thing is gonna be the roadside nanny you didn't know you needed. It has a real-time pressure monitor to inflate flat car and bike tires on the go. It even has a built-in LED light you can use at night and boasts a one-minute inflation, so you don't have to worry about being stuck on the side of the road too long.
A TBH *too* nice Tineco 2-in-1 cordless vacuum and mop created to both vacuum and mop at the same time. Unlike our old dummy mops, this robot has a separate tank that stores the dirty water, and it retains 90% of the stuff, so your floors will be clean and dry in just minutes.
A set of Wonder Hangers so you can stack outfits, categories, or even *colors* of clothes with a vertical system, using up closet space in the most efficient (and A-type-friendly) way possible.
A Bissell multipurpose carpet and upholstery cleaner — this spiffy (and portable!) system uses warm water and a special cleaning formula to save the day when slips turn into spills, which turn into stains.
A scrunchie/towel hybrid that can help your hair dry faster without any heat tools! Reviewers love this as a shower-and-go solution when they have to leave the house with wet hair. We love a product that helps us with our busy schedules.
An exfoliating mitten lots of people love for preventing ingrown hairs, reducing KP, and smoothing out their skin before applying tanning lotion.
A crack weeder tool, because the first thing you seem to see ~springing~ up in your yard each year is...weeds. This tool is designed to get those basically immortal weeds that practically grow THROUGH your concrete sans plant-killing chemicals. It fits into tiny, tight spaces and snatches up that unsightly stuff!
A mason jar cold brew maker so you can have a bold cup of cold brew from the comfort of your kitchen counter. Reviewers also love using this when making iced tea, which is the *first* thing I will be drinking once it's finally warm enough for a cold drink.
Rael "Miracle Invisible Spot Cover" Pimple Patches for anyone who thinks the best skincare treat they could possibly give themselves is pimple patches that don't shout, "Look over here at this vacuum-sealed pimple bursting from my face!" These have the same hydrocolloid formula for relieving the redness, swelling, and pus from breakouts *without* the usual show-and-tell.
A jar of The Pink Stuff (the internet's favorite cleaning product) that'll spring clean everything from your faucet to your toilet tank to blotches in your bathtub (and it works *outside* of the bathroom too — spiffy). Move over, firefighters; I want a calendar of THIS sexy stuff and its shiny results.
Gold Bond's firming neck and chest cream — whether you've noticed your neck skin practically hanging on for dear life thanks to that darn gravitational pull or find your décolletage creased in the center from side sleeping, the glycerin and aloe in this formula can give that delicate skin some much-needed hydration, while the salicylic acid can gently exfoliate dead skin cells. Reviewers say patience is worth it with this one, so give your body time to soak it all in and enjoy those results!
A versatile veggie chopper that'll help you prep (and clean up!) with speed that feels downright magical. The interchangeable blades just pop out, then just throw them right into the dishwasher! This'll help you get into the swing of things this salad season.
A bag of citrusy Liquid I.V. Hydration packets, with three times the electrolytes of a typical sports drink, great for packing on long hikes, recovering after a run, and keeping close during long days strolling in the sun. Honestly, you may just wanna keep these in your bag 24/7.
A Java Sock that'll do the two most important things for your beloved iced coffees (or...other drinks. I know people drink other drinks!) 1) It'll keep that caramel almond milk cold brew cold for ages — hours, according to reviewers — and 2) It'll keep your drink from sweating into your cupholder or all over your desk. It's a cruel twist of fate that iced coffee sweats as much as we do in the spring and summer.
A longline sports bra so your outfit can say "Lululemon" even if your bank account is saying "no new clothes at all." This top-tier top is a hit with reviewers because it's suitable for so much: outdoor workouts, gym use, *and* casual wear. Its lightweight design is breathable but sturdy and supportive without being too compressive, making it a staple both at work and while working out.
A pair of reusable silicone nipple covers designed for all the dresses that feel like they're ruined by a bra. These are also totally waterproof, so there will be no need to ~sweat it~ in these.
A refillable roll-on sponge sunscreen applicator sure to make putting on sunscreen (both on your kids *and* on yourself) less of a chore. This goes on fast and blends in easily — no mess required! Families and other folks who look like *dweebs* slathering on sunscreen are sure to look at your quick application with envy.
A Shark Tank-favorite Click & Carry Grocery Bag Carrier that'll give you Herculean strength in an instant. Hook your bags to the clip, place it around your shoulder, and lift up to *80 pounds!!!* without bag straps literally breaking your back.
A ChomChom pet hair remover roller — this is gonna pick up fur and lock it inside the roller, making cleanup a breeze. Plus, it doesn't lose its effectiveness with heavy use. We love our pets, but woof, shedding in the springtime is their greatest skill.
A set of wad-free pads for keeping your bedsheets from tangling in the wash. Get this and keep those laundry clods from wasting precious drying time!
A self-closing, mess-free toothpaste cap to help save toothpaste in your household, even if your kids are rather enthusiastic when squeezing goop from the tube. Plus, this prevents crusty toothpaste buildup!
The Car Seat Key for parents and guardians who have had one too many manicures ruined by car seat clips. This makes buckling and unbuckling your little one *super* easy, and it even hooks onto your keychain, so you've always got it with you when getting in the car.
A silicone clip-on strainer that's dishwasher-safe, attaches to any size pot or pan, and is designed to save a bunch of space in your kitchen cupboards.
Cloning paste — if you've found that your houseplants are standing around stagnant, you're gonna *love* this stuff! This little formula helps encourage new growth and buds. It's technically made for orchids, but it works on all sorts of plants! Begonias, a string of pearls, pothos, you name it!
A seat gap filler to save your phone, keys, and french fries from certain doom.
A pair of sliding wrapping paper cutters so you can stop wasting paper when your scissor skills aren't what they used to be. Seriously, you were the best paper cutter in your kindergarten class; what happened?!
A pack of Elephant Trax labels to make storing (and finding!) things you've packed easier than ever. Attach a sticker to the box, take photos of everything inside, and you're all set! You now have a visual inventory! Never confuse your Halloween and Christmas storage again. The Nightmare Before Christmas vibe isn't really your thing anyway.
A soup can safe — this is so realistic it'll put you at ease if you have a stack of cash or valuables you want tucked away, safely hidden in your food storage.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Miami Herald
3 hours ago
- Miami Herald
‘Ahead of his time': Loved ones remember G. Holmes Braddock and his legacy
Garrett Holmes Braddock remembers being both exhilarated and bored when he, as a 7-year-old child, attended University of Miami football games with his grandfather, G. Holmes Braddock. Garrett said he found the games partly boring because he couldn't see well from the stands as a young boy. But he found them exhilarating because he witnessed his grandfather's passion for the Hurricanes. Addressing dozens of mourners from the church's pulpit, Garrett wriggled his body as he shouted UM's 'C-A-N-E-S' chant, which echoed inside the church. 'Growing up in Miami, it was like being related to a superstar,' Braddock's grandson quipped, referencing Braddock's public service. '...His name and his love will always live on in all of our hearts and our memories.' On Sunday afternoon, loved ones and community members honored the life and legacy of Braddock at the church he attended for decades, Kendall United Methodist Church, 7600 SW 104th St. Braddock served on the Miami-Dade County School Board for 38 years and was well-known for his involvement at his alma mater — UM — and for his support of the university's sports programs. READ MORE: 'He shaped the futures of millions of students.' G. Holmes Braddock dies at 100 Braddock died Thursday, just one day after turning 100 years old. During his decades-long tenure on the school board, Braddock championed desegregation efforts, bilingual education in schools and collective bargaining for public school employees. In 1989, the School Board named a high school after him, G. Holmes Braddock Senior High, 3601 SW 147th Ave. He called the designation a career highlight. 'It would have to be having a senior high school named for me. I never expected it,' Braddock told the Herald in 2000. Braddock enrolled at UM in 1946, after serving aboard a medic ship during World War II. He was heavily involved at the university, serving as an assistant to the director of admissions, and held season tickets to Canes football and baseball games since 1946. In 2024, Braddock became one of 11 recipients of UM's President's Distinguished Service Award from UMiami's Sports Hall of Fame and Museum. While beginning the service, the Rev. Ruben Velasco quipped that they were starting 'right on time because that's exactly what [Braddock] would have wanted.' Braddock, Velasco said, planned the service with him, from the quoted scripture to the hymns. 'Like many of you, I am a product of the Miami-Dade County public school system, since kindergarten all the way to high school,' he said. 'And without knowing it, Holmes Braddock has been a major influence in my educational life...' But Velasco said Braddock, too, impacted his life on a personal level. He shared anecdotes of his lunches with Braddock at Chuck Wagon, where the pair talked about sports, public service and faith. Braddock, the reverend said, 'lived out what it means to be a Christian.' 'I am so certain that on the day he... passed away and he went up to be with the Lord, he heard 'Well done, good and faithful servant. Welcome home. I understand you have some questions. Let's talk,'' Velasco said. Turning to the crowd, Braddock's son George Braddock recounted the story of Braddock's life from the beginning. Braddock was raised by a single mother, a school teacher, during the Great Depression. Braddock dedicated his life's work to education. His leadership, most notably in desegregation and bilingual instruction, brought Braddock admirers but also enemies, George said. 'Wow, was he ahead of his time,' he said. Braddock's daughter Rebecca Nimmer, 72, told the Miami Herald she recalled how she and her brothers Bob, George and Jim, would travel across the continuous U.S. in their father's station wagon as he worked as an insurance salesman. One of her most notable memories, she said, was witnessing the horrors of segregation while traveling in the South. 'I didn't realize how much that affected me as a human,' Nimmer said, adding that her father is the reason she values travel and learning about different cultures. Braddock, she said, used his life experiences to serve others. 'Everyone he touched, he left an imprint,' Nimmer said. Daniel Armstrong, 69, grew close with Braddock over the last 35 years during their Sunday morning hangouts at church. Armstrong said their decades-long friendship blossomed over the pair's shared love for ties. Armstrong said he and Braddock would wear different ties and share the stories of how they obtained them. At Christmas time, they held a friendly competition over who had the best holiday-themed tie. Braddock, Armstrong said, was not only a pillar in the community — but at the church. 'He was a gentle, very strong, but a very gentle person,' Armstrong said. 'Compassionate, and very humble.' Braddock's funeral ended with military honors. Uniformed service members folded the American flag that was draped over his casket. They handed the flag to his widow, Virginia 'Ginny' Braddock, as tears streamed down her face. Some of Braddock's eight grandchildren escorted his casket out of the church, as an ode to UM — the university's fight song — played. Braddock was a lifelong supporter of Hurricane athletics, said John Routh and Mark Drobiarz, of the UM Hall of Fame. 'Even in the heat on Sunday, he would go,' Drobiarz told the Herald. 'I'd ask, 'How can you take this?' He would say, 'It's baseball.'' 'He was an icon,' Routh said.
Boston Globe
16 hours ago
- Boston Globe
Fall River firefighters: ‘There are no words for what I've seen'
The Fall River fire, Advertisement Many of the survivors, some of whom have severe medical needs and are on Medicaid, are scattered in assisted-living facilities across Eastern Massachusetts and are unsure what their future holds. The fire has raised questions When the firefighters gathered together this past week, their shared bond was at the forefront of their minds. They greeted each other with handshakes, back slaps, and inside jokes in a firehouse kitchen. But quickly, they shifted to mournful, head-shaking recollections of what each of them had experienced in the worst fire they had fought. Evangelista, 29, recalled that he had been responding to an overdose when the alarm sounded about 9:30 p.m. for a fire at Gabriel House. Immediately, he shifted priorities and rushed to the three-story, horseshoe-shaped building not far from the city center. Advertisement Michael Viveiros, aboard Ladder 2, recalled being startled when he wheeled onto Oliver Street and saw the building engulfed in fire and smoke — but no people. He realized immediately that the situation was dire, and that few people, if any, had yet evacuated. Many of the 69 residents there were dependent on wheelchairs. 'The thought process was we have to get it done and get it done quickly,' said Viveiros, 42. 'Your adrenaline kicks in, and you want to do things you shouldn't.' They found flames spouting from the front of the building, and, knowing people were on all three floors, urgently called for reinforcements. 'I kept thinking we need more help,' said District Chief David Jennings Jr., one of the commanders at the scene. 'For a while, we were dealing with just eight guys.' Eventually, about 35 firefighters responded. Once the residents realized help had arrived, they began shouting from their windows, pleading for their lives as smoke billowed behind them. Another district chief yelled, 'We need 120 percent! This is what we train for,' the firefighters said. Evangelista recalled thinking, 'This isn't what you train for. It was one person and then another person' — unlike many house fires that affect only a few people. Complicating the response at Gabriel House was the large number of residents with medical needs, some of them severe. 'Some guys went in with hoses, and some guys went in to do the rescues,' said C.J. Ponte, a 21-year department veteran who drove Engine 9 to the blaze. Other firefighters grabbed ground ladders and began slapping them against the walls. Advertisement 'Then there's the worst decision: Which one is in the most danger?' Viveiros said. Jose Fletcher, a 33-year-old firefighter, said the scene shifted by the second, with another life to be saved, another challenge, and another snap decision about what to do amid the chaos. 'We started to evacuate people, and it was like Whac-A-Mole,' Fletcher said. One person would be carried down a ladder, and then another would be spotted. On and on. In one rescue, Fletcher dropped his oxygen tank to conserve energy, climbed a ladder, and struggled to extract a large woman from a small window. 'The windows weren't made to pull people out of, and she was fighting me the whole time,' Fletcher recalled. She pushed against his oxygen mask in panic, preventing Fletcher from breathing. He ripped the mask off despite the choking smoke, grabbed her in a bear hug, and slowly carried her down the ladder amid the frenzy. After bringing her to safety, Fletcher slumped to the ground exhausted, only to discover that he couldn't get up. Not until later did Fletcher learn he had dislocated his right knee. 'We got back here at 2:30 [a.m.],' Fletcher said in the firehouse, 'trying to figure out how we just did what we did.' Evangelista said the rescues continued unabated for about an hour. 'It was a grab and go. Bring them out and go back,' he said. 'Some of them were definitely on their last breath. But you ignore what else is around you and just focus on what's happening in front of you.' Advertisement In one rescue, a makeshift pulley was put together to lower a resident estimated to weigh 400 pounds. In others, firefighters laid victims across their outstretched arms as they grabbed the sides of their ladders and descended rung by rung to safety. Some Fire Department drivers left their vehicles, wearing only a department T-shirt, to enter the burning building and search for victims. One such driver was Nathanial Anderson, 43, an Army combat veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan who drove Ladder 2. 'I saw heads popping out windows, and I could hear the screams. You couldn't sit outside and do nothing,' Anderson said. 'Every voice you could hear you knew needed help.' So inside he went, with no oxygen tank or other gear, looking to clear residents from the second and third floors of one wing. He burst through emergency doors with a sledgehammer, scouring the smoke-choked corridors and rooms for victims. 'I kept telling him to leave, but he wouldn't listen,' Evangelista said. When Anderson reached the third floor, he could advance only two rooms down a pitch-black corridor. 'I couldn't take the smoke and the heat there,' said Anderson, who was forced to retreat. In all, Anderson carried six residents to safety — 'some were still vocal, some were fading' — as he returned again and again to join his comrades. Fire Chief Jeffrey Bacon, in a later news conference, choked up with emotion when recalling Anderson's bravery. 'This was the worst-case scenario of what you can possibly expect from a fire,' said Michael O'Reagan, president of Local 1314 of the International Association of Fire Fighters. Advertisement A day after the fire, Edward Kelly, general president of the International Association of Fire Fighters, alleged that Fall River's firetrucks were understaffed. More victims might have lived, he said, had each truck had four firefighters — a claim quickly dismissed by Bacon as 'speculation.' Mayor Paul Coogan said city officials have decided that an additional four trucks will have a minimum of four firefighters. At the time of the fire, two of the 10 fire companies in Fall River were staffed with four firefighters, which is the national safety standard. The city also said it will have 38 firefighters working each shift, an increase from 35. O'Reagan said more staffing is needed for the Fire Department, but on this day, the focus centered on lifesaving drama that unfolded with the personnel available. 'I don't think a single person here thinks of himself as a hero,' Ponte said. 'It's not a job, it's a calling. It's something everyone here wanted to do.' Bacon said the death toll could have been several times higher if not for the quick, efficient, and effective response of Fall River's firefighters, five of whom suffered minor injuries. About 30 residents of Gabriel House were also injured. Following the fire, the crews returned to their stations, processing what they had just witnessed, but prepared to go out again if needed. Jennings said he continues to second-guess whether other decisions could have been made at the fire. 'We beat ourselves up,' Jennings said. 'What could we have done better? Maybe another decision could have gotten to another window.' For these firefighters, the memory of Gabriel House will be indelible. 'I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it. I feel something's off,' Evangelista said, speaking slowly and carefully. 'I'm not a guy who talks about emotion, who shows emotion, but this goes to show what we saw that night.' Advertisement 'This will forever change the way we operate,' he said. 'The next call, will it be as big as this one?' Brian MacQuarrie can be reached at
Yahoo
17 hours ago
- Yahoo
The Midults: My girlfriend is always undermining me
Dear A&E, I've been with my girlfriend for two years and we've always got on really well as a couple in social situations, backing each other up and taking one another's side. Lately, though, I've found her starting to undermine me in little ways when we're out with friends – disputing my account of things that happened; contradicting me on little details; always needing to have the last word. I'm not naturally argumentative but it's starting to really bother me. She's really lovely and cosy in private. Should I talk to her, and what should I say? – Downcast Dear Downcast, Some happy, lifelong marriages involve one partner loudly and aggressively criticising the other in public. 'That story is so boring,' she squawks. 'Are you still talking??' he sneers. For many of us – as observers – this is both baffling and extremely unpleasant to be around but, hey, the heart wants what the heart wants and it's a dynamic that works for them. It is not, however, a dynamic that is working for you. At the moment it only bothers you but who's to say that, further down the line, it won't distress you. If you do not like this dynamic then you should address it as it is unlikely to go away by itself. Unfortunately, these things, left unchecked, will have a habit of either bedding in or intensifying and that has the potential to make you very unhappy. Unhappy people who actively avoid confrontation risk withdrawing, proving their point – or demonstrating their hurt – through action (or inaction), which could start to meaningfully alienate you from each other. Scary, right? If you bring this up, you might start a huge row or hear something you don't want to hear. It's only when you begin to understand what's happening, you can work out what to do. At the moment you are a bit hurt and a bit baffled – understandable but rendering you powerless. It is often at this stage of the relationship that you need to find courage. It is important to feel able to talk to the person you are with about what is going in between you. We know that sounds as though we're stating the bleeding obvious but it can feel frightening. Or exhausting. And lots of us duck it where possible. Be brave, Downcast. It will give the relationship the best chance of growing or, failing that, it will give you the best chance of growing. Right at the beginning of love affairs, we tend to find it sweet when our new and adored person gets things wrong. Or we don't even see it. Later, we may start to find it annoying but, hopefully, we make a decision – based on the bigger scheme of things – to right-size our responses; to look beyond. This is not denial. It is love. There is a chance that she may not know she is behaving in this way; that she had some kind of combative/judgmental elements to her early life. A fighty or one-upmanship-y childhood. Even a puritanical education may have nudged her towards becoming a kind of fact-checker. It doesn't really matter if an amusing anecdote is 'right', does it? The listener doesn't care whether it was Whitstable or Brixham; whether it was raining or snowing. How much does it matter to her that she is right? Would she rather be right or happy? You have various courses of action open to you. You could tell her that it is deeply uncomfortable for everyone when she does this – but that is actively shaming and makes it about the audience rather than your connection. 'Everyone thinks so…' is always a bastard thing to say unless it's around a compliment. You could try a bit of a shock approach and respond in the moment, in public, by saying something like 'I find it very difficult when you talk to me like that.' However, seeing as you have established, in your letter, that this is a kind of performative feistiness that rises in her only when you are among other people, that could cause trouble. We would think that a quiet moment, when you are alone and all is calm, might be a productive time to say something like, 'When you criticise me in public – which I feel is happening more often – what are you trying to tell me? I find it difficult, in the moment but, if there is something you need me to know, I would really like to hear it now. I don't love those public moments, which hurt my feelings, but I do love you and I'd like to understand why it happens and also look at my part in it.' What a man, Downcast! We obviously have no idea how this will go. But for both your own personal development and the future of this romance, it feels crucial that you are able to have the conversation. Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more. Solve the daily Crossword
