The new rules of gym etiquette: don't film yourself, never mansplain – and keep your top on

The Guardian

25-04-2025

If hell is other people, then its ninth circle must be Other People At The Gym. Where else can one experience the full gamut of human depravity – from farting on the treadmill to taking conference calls on the cross trainer? And that's before we get to 'gymtimidation.' A recent survey found that one in four people feel self-conscious at the gym, while 28% worry about using the equipment incorrectly (and, God forbid, suffering the ultimate indignity of starring in a viral 'gym fail' video).
But how to ensure you are the hero of your own fitness journey, and not the person other gym-goers have nicknamed 'grunt'? We consulted the experts.
Gymfluencers filming content (and getting annoyed when someone walks into their shot) is a relatively new, and often unwelcome, phenomenon. 'I really hate this,' says Nick Finney, a personal trainer who has worked with Robbie Williams and Jennifer Lopez. 'There are legit reasons to film yourself – for instance, if you want to check your form or send a video to an online trainer to show them how you're doing something. But setting up a tripod in a busy gym, so you can record fitness content for TikTok, risks upsetting people who are already nervous about being there, and won't want to be on camera.'
And if you have your heart set on becoming the next Joe Wicks? 'Set up in a quiet area of the gym where there aren't loads of people in shot. If someone close by is likely to be filmed, then it's polite to ask them before pressing record.' As for taking umbrage if someone inadvertently ruins your shot, according to Josh Davies, a co-founder of OMNI Wellness and head trainer at Aimee Victoria Long: 'If you do choose to film in the gym, that is your prerogative, but it's not other people's responsibility to stay out of your shot. If someone needs to get to some equipment and you're in the way, that's your problem, not theirs.'
'Unless someone is in immediate, life-threatening danger – not just at risk of a potential injury in the future – then my answer is no,' says Shona Vertue, a yoga teacher and personal trainer, whose clients include David Beckham. 'For many people, training at the gym can make them feel incredibly vulnerable, and the last thing they need is someone pointing out what they might be doing wrong.'
Davies cautions that women can be particularly wary of 'gym bros', and warns against mansplaining. 'Offering advice to someone of your own gender is less likely to cause offence,' he says.
According to Finney: 'Even as a personal trainer, I find this tricky – people are sensitive, so unsolicited advice often doesn't go down well. I mostly leave people who aren't my clients to it, and step in at the point that someone is putting themselves at risk of injury. If someone is doing a dodgy deadlift, I'll gently suggest an adjustment to spare them from a slipped disk. However, if you disagree with someone's tricep form, keep it to yourself – once you start correcting everyone, you'll be there all day. If you are going to suggest something, acknowledge that they haven't asked for your advice, and back off as soon as you feel your opinion isn't welcome.'
'That's absolutely fine,' says Davies. 'Just try to ask someone who could safely handle the weight if you're struggling. There's no point asking someone who weighs 50kg to spot you while you try to lift 80kg.'
'No,' says Davies. 'There's one guy in my gym who walks around talking really loudly about his business deals, and it's super-annoying. People are there to work hard, improve themselves and forget about whatever else is going on in their lives – they don't want to have to listen to your conversations.'
As Finney explains: 'The danger with chatting away on the phone is that you become unaware of your surroundings, and someone gets hurt.' But, he adds: 'It's fine to send a quick WhatsApp or change your music during a rest period.'
'Every studio or gym is different and has differing rules around lateness,' says Vertue. 'If it's in the middle of a yoga meditation then it's not ideal. If it's a fitness session, it may not disrupt people, but could be dangerous if you've missed out on the exercise demonstrations or warm up.'
According to Finney, 'If you don't have time to do a full class, then you don't have time. It's never OK to turn up very late or leave early.' Vertue agrees that 'leaving early is where it gets more disrespectful. If you've set aside the time to take part in a class, stay for the whole session, unless of course you aren't feeling well. In which case, let the instructor know before you leave.'
'Racks and benches basically function as storage units for free weights, and by using one you don't automatically own all the weights on it,' says Finney.
However, adds Davies: 'You should always ask before taking a plate from someone else's machine, in case they were planning to use it. Just don't ask them mid-exercise. If someone is halfway through a squat and they have to turn their neck to speak, that can take their spine out of alignment and cause a whole host of issues. Always wait until someone has finished a set before interrupting.'
'Sometimes people need to spend time on a machine,' says Finney. 'For instance, I have a dodgy knee and it takes me a while to get warmed up on a leg press. Some people do German volume training, which requires 10 sets of 10 reps. That might take 20 minutes or half an hour. The main aggravation comes when people take long rest periods, so are monopolising a piece of equipment without even being active on it. If someone is eager to get on a machine, don't sit on it looking at your phone or take six minutes of rest between sets.'
According to Vertue: 'People lifting very heavy weights often need extended breaks to allow their nervous system to recover before the next set. This is particularly common with heavy compound exercises such as bench presses, squats, deadlifts, hip thrusts and sometimes leg presses.'
Sign up to Inside Saturday
The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend.
after newsletter promotion
As for super sets – alternating between two sets of equipment with no rest in between? 'Read the room,' advises Finney. 'They're fine if the gym is quiet, but don't hog two machines if the gym is busy. It's fine to suggest sharing equipment so that someone else can use it during your rest period and vice versa.'
'I'd err on the side of no,' suggests Davies. 'There's nothing wrong with chatting and having friendships in the gym, but most people are there to work and it's not appropriate to flirt.' Vertue is more sanguine: 'Not everyone will agree with me, but many people prefer meeting potential partners in person rather than on dating apps, and the gym can be a fantastic setting for this. Especially because they attract people who prioritise their health – a quality I personally value in a partner.'
Still, she recommends a gradual approach. 'Maybe suggest a quick post-workout shake date to gauge compatibility. It can be less daunting than meeting a stranger from an app.' Finney agrees: 'I certainly wouldn't go in cold and tell someone you fancy them in the middle of a workout.' And if you do face unwanted attention? 'If anyone makes you uncomfortable, report it to the staff immediately,' says Vertue.
'Front and centre,' says Vertue. 'Although sometimes daunting, it is a great place to be because you can see the teacher and you aren't distracted by others. 'But anywhere is fine, provided you can see and access the instructor if need be.'
Finney adds: 'I have clients who don't like to see themselves exercising, so choose to avoid the mirror. Stand wherever you're most comfortable.'
'There are two considerations here,' says Finney. 'A lot of people find training topless inappropriate and won't want to see your naked body. It also risks getting sweat on the equipment. That's in a public gym. At places like Hyrox and CrossFit, being topless is more part of the culture, because it's a closed group and people are mostly standing and using barbells rather than sitting on equipment.' If in doubt, 'keep your 'pump checks' confined to the changing room,' says Vertue. Training shoeless is less controversial. According to Davies: 'You might not want to wear the same shoes running on a treadmill as squatting (running trainers are cushioned to help with the impact of running, whereas you need a flat sole to lift, to ensure even weight distribution). If you don't want to pack two pairs of trainers, lifting shoeless is fine.' However, shoeless doesn't mean barefoot. 'As a trainer, I might need to see what's happening with someone's arches or toes,' says Finney. 'But I draw the line at taking your socks off.'
'Making a noise can help people lift heavier weights, by supporting intra-abdominal pressure,' says Vertue, 'but we're talking about very, very heavy lifts. Ask yourself: Are you grunting because it genuinely helps, or is it to draw attention from others? If it's the latter, it's likely to have the opposite impact of what you're aiming for.'
Finney agrees: 'You should be able to make some noise, especially during exercises requiring valsalva manoeuvre [a forced exhalation which helps power heavy lifts], but how much is contextual – a CrossFit gym is very different from a boutique hotel gym, where people won't appreciate you screaming.'
When it comes to dropping weights at the end of the set, Davies says, it depends on the type of gym and the equipment. 'Places like CrossFit, or gyms that do Olympic lifting, have specialist floors and rubber plates that are designed to be dropped – because if you're doing a one-rep max deadlift then you don't want to have to think about putting the weight back down. In a commercial gym, dropping weights risks damaging the barbell, or the floor, as well as being a distracting noise to those around you.'
On this, the trainers are unequivocal. 'Always, no exceptions,' says Finney. 'Even if you aren't sweaty,' adds Davies. 'It's nicer for the next person.'