Crying at work isn't unlikely as you'd think - but what happens when you do
The weight of being the first female chancellor is weighing heavy on Rachel Reeves shoulders as seen during PMQ's on July 2 - but seeing her cry in the House of Commons was devastating.
We've all had times where work can feel overwhelming and many women may resonate all too well with Ms. Reeves emotions after a bad day at work. Always appearing with a perfect stoic, with an unwavering tone and message staying strong, it was the first time people may have seen the chancellor on a more personal level.
Besides being in front of peers, television cameras and opposition leaders, the chancellor openly displayed her feelings after being spotted with a tear rolling down her cheek. Whether it was work related or not, it's caused a mixed opinion - and her feelings aren't unusual.
She's not alone in feeling emotional at work, a YouGov & Mental Health UK 2025 Burnout report study of 4,418 UK adults conducted found that the risk of burnout remains prevalent, with one in three (34%) adults experiencing high or extreme levels of pressure or stress 'always' or 'often' last year, compared with 35% the previous year. Meanwhile, nine in 10 (91%) experienced high pressure or stress at some point over the last year.
Nobel Prize-winning scientist Sir Tim Hunt once boldly said women shouldn't be allowed to work in laboratories because 'when you criticise them, they cry'. But can crying at work truly impact your career?
"Crying at work is neither inherently 'good' nor 'bad," Lucas Botzen, CEO of Rivermate and HR specialist told The Mirror. "What matters is the context. For example, I've seen people cry due to grief after losing a loved one, burnout from unmanageable workloads, or even overwhelming pride after achieving something meaningful."
Lucas said these are deeply human responses, and when handled appropriately, they can strengthen trust within teams. "In fact, some companies offer emotional intelligence training now to allow managers to respond with empathy when employees exhibit emotion, like crying," he added.
However, workplace culture can play an enormous role in opinions regarding tears in the office, and the expert noted that in some male-groomed or high-stress workplaces, like finance, law, or tech start-ups, crying can be "severely criticised even if unfairly."
Lucas suggested that while one's professional reputation is concerned, an isolated incidence of crying, especially if it's in the context that is acceptable "will not damage your business credibility". However if it becomes a trend, and could result in something deeper such as emotional exhaustion, poor fit, or even a mental illness issue may be indicated - HR should be involved.
He noted it shouldn't be with a disciplinary measure, but with "support, giving access to employee assistance programs (EAPs), mental health services, or workload adjustments."
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Sometimes showing a little emotion can help bolster your passion for you career, as Lucas recalled a time he watched a staff member in a high-level position at a consultancy firm lose her cool in a client debrief. He said: "Although she was frightened it would be counterproductive to her credibility, the client subsequently informed her that it made her seem more empathetic and sincere.
"In business cultures that value psychological safety, though, like those utilising Google's Project Aristotle model, vulnerability is a leadership asset."
Whether you deal with stress head on, or take a moment to gather yourself, or even shed a tear, women should be allowed to use their emotions however they wish - even if you are being broadcast on national TV. This is echoed by Holistic Empowerment & Career Coach Jo Irving, who told The Mirror that Rachel Reeves' moment was "powerful" because it was honest.
"We're shifting from the outdated idea that professionalism means emotional detachment. True leadership increasingly values authenticity and vulnerability," and added: "For leaders, showing emotion can actually be powerful, when it's clear, honest and with purpose."
So when it comes to whether it affects your job, Jo said someone who expresses vulnerability and still shows up with purpose and resilience is "often perceived as more authentic and relatable, not less capable."
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The Guardian
5 hours ago
- The Guardian
After suffering a breakdown at work, a nurse has had to confront her lifetime of damaging self-sacrifice
Bec* first came in for therapy for burnout. She was a psychiatric nurse and worked at a public hospital in an inpatient unit. She sobbed during our first session, full of guilt at having had to take leave after collapsing in tears during a shift. She said she was letting her patients and team down by being away. The strength of Bec's anguish at letting people down felt disproportionate to the circumstances, and I noticed that she wasn't concerned about her tears and collapse, just about the impact of her time off on others. I probed deeper, trying to understand this. Bec said she'd been working very long hours, usually pulling double shifts a few times a week. She was proud of her work ethic and said that always being available to her team and patients was important to her. She seemed to derive most of her identity from her professional role. While she had a partner, she was often too tired to see her girlfriend, or to socialise with friends or exercise. She was often stressed because of her long hours but felt too guilty to make any changes and kept pushing through her tiredness and stress, until the day she broke down crying. It felt important to understand Bec's relationship with work in the context of her underlying personality traits and the beliefs she had formed about herself. Often, when people are over-invested in work, they have a psychological makeup characterised by themes of self-sacrifice, abandonment of their own needs, perfectionism, enmeshment with others and the need to 'earn' their place in the world. We spoke about Bec's early life during our first few sessions. She was raised by a single mother who had a serious mental illness and difficulties with addiction, and was repeatedly admitted to hospital. Bec was her mother's carer from the age of 13, managing appointments and medication, soothing her mother and remaining attuned to her moods, remaining alert to the possibility of overdose, and helping with daily tasks. She developed great empathy for those who were unwell and said that she had a strong desire to help others, leading to her decision to train as a psychiatric nurse. She'd been praised from a young age for being so 'mature, kind and giving', and she had learned that her value lay in these qualities. Bec had almost no emotion in her voice and body language when she told me about her childhood. She seemed nonchalant about her mother's difficulties and dismissive when I reflected that becoming a carer at a young age would have come with struggles, such as missing out on important adolescent experiences or being able to live free of worry. 'It is what it is,' she said, and this was a line she would repeat multiple times throughout our therapy, each time I touched on anything sensitive. Bec's difficulties struck me as difficulties that had been decades in the making. While she was 45 when she saw me, her patterns of overwork had commenced as soon as she started working as a nurse. She over-identified with this role and told me she couldn't sleep at night when clients were not doing well. Bec's pattern was typical of the archetype of the wounded healer. Many people drawn to helping professions such as nursing, psychology or paramedicine have experienced difficulties in life that have predisposed them to wanting to help others as a way of finding their own healing. They often re-enact early patterns, such as self-sacrifice. The wounded healer has been hurt but has not engaged in any healing work. They may try to resolve their own hurts by helping others. While people with this pattern can make excellent clinicians and healers with great empathy and sensitivity, this is usually facilitated by self-discovery, insight and good boundaries, and engagement in recovery work. When the wounded healer pattern is unrecognised, the outcomes can be disastrous with malignant behaviours, such as positioning oneself as a saviour, working to the point of collapse, or breaching boundaries with patients. As therapy progressed, Bec and I started to explore the messages of self-sacrifice she had unknowingly absorbed. The day she spoke about her sadness at having missed her school formal because she was caring for her mother was a turning point. We could then start to speak about the role of children in a family and the impacts of being parentified. We worked on emotional recognition and healthy lifestyle management, as well as boundaries. We needed to do a lot of work with the part of Bec that felt guilty for holding boundaries, as well as the guilt she felt when talking about her resentment toward her mother. We encouraged regular rest and worked on helping Bec understand and meet her own emotional and physical needs. Her progress in therapy was slow as the ground we covered was vast, but this work allowed Bec to have a more realistic appraisal of the importance of work, and to nurture an identity outside the self-sacrificial healer role. * Bec is a fictitious amalgam to exemplify many similar cases that I see Dr Ahona Guha is a clinical and forensic psychologist, trauma expert and author from Melbourne. She is the author of Reclaim: Understanding Complex Trauma and Those Who Abuse, and Life Skills for a Broken World In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and at MensLine on 1300 789 978. In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393 and Childline on 0800 1111. In the US, call or text Mental Health America at 988 or chat
Daily Mail
8 hours ago
- Daily Mail
Is THIS Britain's most depressed suburb? How deprived community has highest amount of people claiming for mental health as locals say 'its a dump'
'It's a dump. It's a 's***hole.' Those were the words echoed by disheartened locals in the small constituency of Walton in Liverpool, when MailOnline visited Britain's 'most depressed' suburb this week. Almost one in 20 people in the area, which is home to the iconic stadiums of Liverpool's Anfield and Everton's Goodison Park, claim PIP for depression and anxiety. It is the highest proportion of any constituency in England and Wales, with 4.7 per cent of residents getting disability benefits on mental health grounds, an analysis of DWP data shows. It comes as PIP handouts for mental health claims have hit an all-time high, doubling over the last decade, and revealed the areas with the most claims. In Walton depression and anxiety claims make up about 20 per cent of all PIP claims, which number nearly 15,000 - accounting for 23 per cent of its working-age population. Along the Walton Road, shops on the main high street had their shutters pulled down, vape shops and bookies had popped up on every corner, and drug deals were taking place in daylight. Something that locals all seemed to agree on was that Walton had become a 'rubbish' place to live, but while some believed depression was genuinely high in the area, others felt people were just 'milking the system'. Liverpool Walton is without a doubt one of the most deprived regions in the country. In fact, the government's Deprivation in English Constituencies data from 2024 shows it is the third most deprived area out of 543 constituencies. Local Jimmy Little, 65, who claimed to have just come out of prison, told MailOnline: 'I've been depressed for 12 years. I'm back to being a musician now and I'm a lot better. 'Everyone here is poor and we're all struggling. 'Everything is hard here. There's a lot of problems and struggles. 'Poverty is a terrible cause of anxiety, because you haven't got the money to survive. 'I was in jail for many years for robbing security vans and safes and stuff. Nothing that bad. But I bounced back from it. 'I was born nearby and always been here. It's gone terrible down here. 'Gangs of kids won't think twice to stab you. 'I'm just back from prison and I've just got on PIP.' When our reporter approached an elderly woman, she said: 'It's a dump. It's a 's***hole, that's why'. Thomas Fox, 35, previously worked in the fire service and is on PIP due to trauma in the workplace, though still works in fire protection. He told MailOnline: 'Walton has gone terrible, it's rubbish. Absolutely rubbish. 'There's a lot of depression because there's f*** all here. There's literally nothing. 'All the shops are closing down. There are six convenience stores on a block of seven shops. There are halal shops replacing old stores. 'And they've built a mosque now on the corner, and people park on both sides all the way along this main road. 'The high street is full of vape shops. They are constantly raided for selling fake cigarettes and drugs. 'There's a shop down there where they sell drugs in there, they give you a number. And if you're like me and you don't look straight cut they'll preposition you. 'The pubs are the only thing people held on to but with Everton going that's gone down too. 'Everton has moved stadiums and this is going to become the women's ground, but that obviously doesn't bring in as many crowds yet. 'There's good commuter links, there's Anfield down the road, there's no reason for it to be this bad.' Pointing to empty shops down the street, he said: 'In the last three months that's closed, it used to be a Savers. And that's closed, that's closed, and that charity shop has closed. 'Everything that is open is more of the same.' Mr Fox seemed to attribute the high levels of mental health claims to the fact asylum seekers have moved into the town. He said: 'We're all working class here, work hard, and they're putting people next door who have more than us and don't have to work for it. 'So people are trying to get whatever they can get because you've got people who are not integrating but are getting everything so why is it that we are struggling for everything that we have? 'We've got a 2020 Kia Nero. The asylum seeker family who have moved in next door have a 2025 7-seater Mercedes, but don't have jobs. 'It's given to them by the council, they get food deliveries twice a week and get a cleaner who comes in. 'All the streets around here, the houses are being bought up my immigration. On weekends they bring the sofas out and have drinks and smoke.' Mr Fox moved to the area four years ago but had lived close by and visited Walton since young. He said: 'We moved here about four years ago because it's the only place we could afford. 'We bought a three-bed terraced house for £70k. Nowhere else is that price.' Meanwhile, Joe Brian, 48, who moved to Walton from Newcastle in 2022, took a swipe at those claiming benefits, alleging that people were 'milking the government'. He said: 'No one wants to work here. 'It's a s***hole, it's terrible. 'It's stemmed from the 80s, just more and more lazy people. 'I've just moved here three years ago from Newcastle. There are loads of foreigners here but you can't blame them, they are out working. 'But others are sitting at home claiming there's something wrong with them and there's not. They just want to sit at home. 'Now there's kids who have never worked a day in their life and they've just been signed off for life. 'People are on fortunes milking the government. "Unfit for work" and all that, lazy b*****ds.' An 18-year-old, who while acknowledging it was a genuine case for many, was also speculative about the number of people suffering depression in the area. She said: 'I think a lot of people over-exaggerate. 'Don't get me wrong I think a lot of people actually have mental health problems, but I think people also exaggerate it. 'And depression and anxiety are easier to exaggerate than physical disabilities.' An article by the Liverpool Echo in 2022 claimed the poverty was so dire in Walton that families were forced to skip meals to get by. Local Labour MP Dan Carden, who says his constituency is the most deprived in the UK, says 'welfare' is not the answer and called on the government to invest in the area. He said: 'The government must pay particular attention to Walton. We will be judged on what happens here over these five years. Almost one in 20 people in Walton are understood to claim PIP for depression and anxiety - the largest proportion of any UK constituency 'Welfare is not the answer, it just plugs the gaps for people suffering poor health because of poverty and lack of opportunity. 'I see how constant rent increases hurt people and cause real suffering here. 'We need good, well-paid, secure work and quality housing, with local people prioritised. 'Otherwise the welfare bill will keep expanding in places like Walton.' According to government data, Liverpool Walton, Liverpool Riverside, Blackpool South, Birmingham Ladywood and Knowsley are the five most deprived communities in England. Another local Brian Wignall echoed the same sentiments about Walton. He said: 'I think everyone is depressed around here. 'Unemployment is so high. There are men and women who are perfectly able to work but the problem is if I were getting far more on benefits, why would I work? 'I've worked for 50 years not a day on benefits until now.' Speaking about the number of people on benefits for depression and anxiety he said: 'People are depressed. 'People are popping pills left right and centre because it gets them through the day. 'I take tablets everyday to get me out of bed. 'And then you've got people who will milk the system. 'But then you've got another half of people who can't even get into the system. 'I had to go through and file three years of medical examinations and go through tribunals to finally get my PIP.' On how much the area has changed, he continued: 'I'm 73 now, and when I started drinking this was the road. 'You would not believe the changes. That road there was full of lots of shops. This road itself there were six shoe shops, there was everything you needed. 'It was fantastic. But people have moved on since. It is probably one of the worst roads in Liverpool now. 'It's the drugs isn't it. Just drugs, drugs, drugs. 'Every shop now is Sri Lankan, they took over all the shops, and now it's the Yemenese. 'Every time a shop closes down another opens. 'There's a butchers there that's been here 60 years and it's closed down. 'What really gripes me is I've paid into the system for 50 whatever years. I've never had what the asylum seekers are getting. I've never had that. 'I'm in one of the flats, this Iranian family opposite me are in a three-bed house. And they've got a 2025 plate Nissan Qashqai just given to them.' Just a few minutes down from Walton Road, Oakfield Road crosses past Anfield Stadium. Here too, most shops are either shut for the season, or shut permanently, with many buildings laying empty. Liverpool City Council have said Anfield will be undergoing a major £5million revamp scheme later this year which includes the main Walton Breck Road and connecting streets leading to Liverpool stadium. There are also wider plans to redevelop deprived areas in Liverpool North and build more than 10,000 new homes. Local Jackie Barcas, who has worked as an NHS cleaner for 25 years, disagreed with the negative depiction of the constituency. She exclaimed: 'It's not that bad. 'I've lived around here most of my life and it's not at all like that. 'They make it out like it is but not everyone here sits around. 'Of course there are people who aren't working but you get that everywhere. 'I've done my job for 25 years. My family all worked and I was brought up with that. 'If you're brought up with that you do work. 'But loads of people do swing the lead. A row of houses that have been boarded up, with graffiti across it reading 'NOWHERE' 'It is a poor area and people will be like that in these sorts of places. 'I think it's deprived everywhere though, wages are crap, the cost-of-living is high. 'It's hard but you just get on don't you. But some people will just swing the lead. 'But we're not all lazy in the area.' Meanwhile, a local in Walton told of how she has suffered anxiety from a young age. She said: 'I suffer with anxiety but I've had it since young. 'I think you grow up around it, I grew up with a single mum out working all the time so she had anxiety. 'So I grew up with it too and always had it. I try not to be the same with my little one.' Another local said: 'People are struggling around here. It's gone terrible now. It used to be a nice area but it's gone downhill. 'There's a lot of poverty, everyone is struggling to get by. 'I am looking for a job now but it's so hard. I even printed out my CV and went around giving it but nothing. 'I'm on Universal Credit and I've done courses through them. 'Everyone is struggling to afford to take people on.' A customer in a salon who suffers severe anxiety and claims PIP for it told MailOnline: 'The people who need it the most are suffering. 'And then there are a lot of people in this area who just say they are ill. 'I'm on PIP myself but I've got a diagnosis, I've got a doctors note and everything to show for it. 'But a lot of people say they've got back problems or say they have depression because they are easy ones to get. 'There is a lot of poverty in this area, a lot of homelessness, a lot of addicts in recovery, which is linked to mental health issues. So it is hard. 'I do know of two people who are on it but shouldn't be. 'People feel they don't need to work because they're getting the benefits.' Councillor Dan Barrington, Cabinet Member for Transport and Connectivity, said: 'The redevelopment of the Anfield community has been more than a decade in the making and we're now entering a key phase to improving the heart of it. 'Creating a healthier, greener, safer and more visually appealing high street will have a major impact on the day-to-day quality of life of our residents. This will set the foundation for further development to come to the housing and retail offer in the area.' Councillor Nick Small, Liverpool City Council's Cabinet Member for Economy and Growth, said: 'Enhancing the public spaces along Oakfield Road and Walton Breck Road is a vital aspect and a longstanding goal of the Anfield regeneration programme. 'Importantly, these proposed improvements to the High Street will connect various regeneration projects in the surrounding area. 'This investment will also provide a boost to the existing businesses and those looking to invest and grow here, and there's more improvements to come once plans for Anfield Square are formalised.'
BBC News
9 hours ago
- BBC News
Haxby walking group is a lifeline for women, says founder
An early morning walking group aimed at helping women with their mental health has become a "lifeline" for members, its founder Collinge, from Haxby, started walking to clear her head after her mum was diagnosed with lung was joined by friends at first before launching Rant & Ramble, which now has 100 said local GPs had recommended the group to patients, adding: "It's not just about people coming here that are in crisis, it's about coming and having fun." "It came about because my mum got poorly. Until then, I never really did lots of walking," said Leesa, 43."Walking was the only thing that I could do to clear my head."Leesa's mum was diagnosed with cancer in February 2023 and was told she could live for up to 18 months with treatment. "She was so ill, so I just thought I needed to get my head sorted. I need to be here for my mum," Leesa November 2023, her mum died and Leesa started to grow her group of walking friends, which improved her mental health. On a Thursday, the women start walking from Haxby at 06:30, completing 10,000 steps before their children wake up."It really is early but no one regrets coming on the walk. Everyone feels amazing after," Leesa said."We literally talk about everything and anything and we have such a laugh along the way." 'Saving angels' However, Rant & Ramble came to the rescue for one member who found it by chance. "Our very first walk, it was like my mum was watching down that day because we went to Yearsley Woods and there was a lady sat in the car," Leesa explained."She had her head in her hands and we asked if she was here for Rant & Ramble."The woman said no but the group encouraged her to join in."She used to come to Yearsley Woods twice a day and cry once on a morning at 10:00 and then once in the afternoon at 15:00 again on her own with a dog," the organiser said."She said that we were her saving angels that day. "She'd lost a job, she'd gone through a massive mental breakdown, it was horrendous."Leesa said the member was now doing much better, with a new job and a sense of hope. "If we can do that for one person, how many people can we help that are struggling in York?" Leesa said. "There must be hundreds that are just struggling in silence and that's what we want to change."More members have joined the walking group, after being directed to it by their GP surgery. According to Leesa, Haxby Group Practice said it would put information about Rant & Ramble in its newsletter."What started as a simple walking group has become a lifeline," she added. Listen to highlights from North Yorkshire on BBC Sounds, catch up with the latest episode of Look North.
