Divorce lawyer reveals the four common mistakes couples make

New York Post

03-05-2025

Till death — or divorce — do us part.
Although divorce rates are dropping across America, couples are still splitting up every day — sometimes for avoidable reasons.
5 One of the main reasons why couples separate is that they lose focus on their relationship and put other things — typically their work or kids — ahead of their marriage.
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That's why divorce lawyer Padideh Jafari, founder and CEO of Jafari Law & Mediation Office, revealed the four common mistakes couples make to Business Insider.
She shared the top reasons why she's seen couples split and her advice to overcome those obstacles.
'Marriage can be a beautiful thing, but it requires work and intention in addition to love,' Jafari said.
Prioritizing your work or kids over your marriage
One of the main reasons why couples separate is that they lose focus on their relationship and put other things — typically their work or kids — ahead of their marriage.
'You absolutely cannot prioritize your career over your marriage,' the expert said, noting that kids also should not come in the way of your relationship.
5 Kids should not get in the way of your relationship, Jafari said.
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'Of course, you love your children and need to look after their physical and emotional needs, but don't forget your spouse.'
A special date night or holiday getaway with your partner can be a great way to forget your responsibilities and dedicate time to your loved one.
Falling into the temptation of social media
Instagram posts, Facebook albums and TikTok videos keep us connected — but sometimes seeing the highlights of someone's life and being one click away isn't great for our relationships.
'From reconnecting with old flames to secret messages, social media is fueling modern divorces,' Jafari said.
5 'From reconnecting with old flames to secret messages, social media is fueling modern divorces,' Jafari said.
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The expert claimed that even taking a peek at a former flame's social media account is crossing a line.
'Social media makes us think that the grass may be greener somewhere else,' she said.
'But as a married person, you should be thinking about your own home — watering and fertilizing your own lawn to make it beautiful alongside your spouse.'
Communicating but not comprehending
As the saying goes, communication is key — but it's more than that really. Couples need to not only communicate but also comprehend what their partner is saying.
5 Couples need to not only communicate but also comprehend what their partner is saying.
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The skilled communicator explained that sometimes this can go awry as innocently as when you finish your partner's sentences, but warned, 'It can lead to frustration and resentment.'
That's why she advises people to 'try to pause and be present in conversations' and not make assumptions — you know what they say.
She also added that asking follow-up questions can help you better understand each other.
Rushing into romance
Despite what the Beatles would have you believe — love is not all you need.
Take time to truly understand each other's values, goals, and ways of handling stress or conflict. Being in love can feel like enough, but long-term compatibility takes patience, communication, and shared growth.
5 Jafari suggests couples take time to truly understand each other's values, goals, and ways of handling stress or conflict before getting married.
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That's why Jafari advises against rushing into a marriage.
'If you're going to be together forever, there's no reason to get married quickly. Instead, take time to see your spouse in different seasons of life, literally and figuratively,' Jafari insisted.
Spend time building a strong emotional foundation, talk about finances, children, and life plans. The more you know each other, the stronger your bond can become.