logo
I had my fourth child at 43 & now I'm 51 – people think I had my child too old & I disagree but there IS a cut off point

I had my fourth child at 43 & now I'm 51 – people think I had my child too old & I disagree but there IS a cut off point

The Irish Sun12-06-2025
A MUM who welcomed her fourth child at the age of 43 has reignited the debate on how old is too old to have children.
Natalie Heptinstall, 51, from Doncaster, has previously faced criticism for being an older mum, with trolls branding her 'incredibly selfish' and
2
Natalie is now 51 but had her fourth child at the age of 43
Credit: tiktok/@natalie_heptinstall
Despite the negativity, Natalie continues to advocate for the benefits of being an older parent, sharing her experiences with her followers on TikTok under the handle @
Natalie, whose eldest child is 26 and youngest is nearly seven, recently took to her TikTok page to open up about the double
She questioned why men aren't scrutinised in the same way as women when it comes to
Reflecting on her own journey, Natalie said: 'I had my last child at 43, and it was a really positive experience.
READ MORE ON MUM CHAT
"I'm a huge advocate for speaking positively about the benefits of being an older parent, but I definitely feel there's a cut-off point.'
Recently, Natalie shared her thoughts on Amanda Byram, the former Total Wipeout host,
Natalie explained that there's "definitely a cut-off point" when it comes to people saying 'Oh, congratulations, good luck,' and others being "horrified and judgemental" for having a baby at specific age.
She also highlighted the disparity in how society views older fathers versus older mothers.
Most read in Fabulous
Natalie explained that "nobody bats an eyelid" if a man is 50 plus and having a child, and male celebrities who father children in their later year are "rarely questioned."
She added: 'Meanwhile, with Amanda, the entire article focused on her age, and her husband's age wasn't even mentioned.'
I have a 3-year-old & I don't think kids are worth it - trolls call me a 'bad mum' but I want to warn other women
Natalie expressed frustration at the lack of progress in attitudes towards older mothers, asking her followers, 'How old is too old to have a child? What are your thoughts?'
In the caption section, Natalie she also explained that she is a "huge advocate" for speaking positively about the benefits of being an older parent, but she "
Natalie's TikTok video went viral within 24 hours gaining one million views and 3,483 comments.
It sparked a range of responses, with many rushing to share their thoughts and start a debate.
One wrote: "It's not fair on the child having an old parent."
While a second added: "I personally don't think it's fair on a child."
2
She sparked a debate on her TikTok amongst other parents
Credit: tiktok/@natalie_heptinstall
But someone else said: "My mum had me at 32.
"I remember how embarrassed I used be that my mum was much older than the other mums.
"She must only been 40 at the time but to me it was old."
However, another added: "I find some comments awful, you could have a child at 25 and die at 28, or have one at 49 and live until your 90... life isn't guaranteed."
And one TikToker said: "A friend of mine passed away age 29, leaving a child behind. You can die at any time.
"It is usual for a woman in the UK to die in her eighties now, so a 51-year-old baby should be an adult when they pass."
Here's why I love being a young mum
Tracy Kiss, who fell pregnant at 19, has revealed what she believes are the pros of being a young mother.
The personal trainer and blogger, from Buckinghamshire, believes women who give birth in their teens make BETTER mothers than those in their 30s.
She claims young mums snap back into shape quicker, have more energy and relate more easily to their children, meaning they're better behaved and happier.
Tracy told Fabulous: "Women who become first-time mums in their teens make better parents than those in their 30s or 40s.
"I believe if I'd been 10 or so years older before becoming a mother then I wouldn't have the relationship I have with my children now.
"For a start, being older I would have had less energy and therefore less patience.
"I wouldn't be as enthusiastic to speak to people after months of sleepless nights as I was in my teens.
"My body snapped back to its pre-pregnancy size through fitness post-birth, which in turn gave me the confidence to date and find love again. I've never been happier than I am now at the age of 30 with two children.
"If I'd have been alone at 40 with a newborn baby I'd be more tired, less happy with my body, less energetic and far more stressed from the shock of living my life for myself instead of putting others first. Sometimes age and the innocence of ignorance is a good thing.
"As a teen mum I just got on with it, found my feet and became responsible and capable because at the time I didn't know any different."
Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

Win a copy of Everyone Is Lying To You by Jo Piazza in this week's Fabulous book competition
Win a copy of Everyone Is Lying To You by Jo Piazza in this week's Fabulous book competition

The Irish Sun

time11 hours ago

  • The Irish Sun

Win a copy of Everyone Is Lying To You by Jo Piazza in this week's Fabulous book competition

BEST mates Bex and Lizzie lost touch after college, but now Rebecca is a top tradwife influencer, and agrees to a tell-all interview with struggling writer Lizzie. But when Rebecca disappears and her husband is found dead, Lizzie finds herself mixed up in a dark web of secrets. Advertisement 1 10 lucky Fabulous readers will win a copy of this new novel in this week's book competition The perfect read-in-one-go page-turner! 10 lucky Fabulous readers will win a copy of this new novel in this week's book competition. To win a copy, enter using the form below by 11:59pm on August 16, 2025. Advertisement For full terms and conditions, click here.

Cancer weekly horoscope: What your star sign has in store for August 3
Cancer weekly horoscope: What your star sign has in store for August 3

The Irish Sun

time11 hours ago

  • The Irish Sun

Cancer weekly horoscope: What your star sign has in store for August 3

OUR much-loved astrologer Meg sadly died in 2023 but her column will be kept alive by her friend and protégé Maggie Innes. Read on to see what's written in the stars for you today. Advertisement Sign up for the Mystic Meg newsletter. Your info will be used in accordance with our CANCER JUNE 22 - JULY 22 1 What a family could be matters more than what it is right now, and you are one of the few signs to see this. Advertisement Linking skills and knowledge together in truly original ways is your key skill, but you also carry an unlimited capacity for forgiveness. So write no one and nothing off, yet. Passion goes your way, but you do need to make up your mind what that way is. Luck circles 'H'. Advertisement Most read in Fabulous Exclusive DESTINY DAYS Avoid any gossip, especially at work, on Monday. Double check all cash details on Wednesday. Support someone a generation away on Friday. Advertisement What is your star sign's element? In astrology, the elements — Air, Water, Earth, and Fire signs — serve as foundational principles that influence the characteristics and behaviours associated with the twelve star signs. Earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn The Earth signs are grounded in the tangible and practical aspects of life, embodying the stable and nurturing qualities of their element. These signs are known for their pragmatism, reliability, and strong connection to the physical world, often excelling in matters that require patience and persistence. Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius The Air signs are characterised by their intellectual, communicative, and social nature. This reflects the light and dynamic essence of their elemental influence. Overall, these signs tend to excel in the realms of ideas, relationships, and innovation, bringing a breath of fresh air to their interactions and thought processes. Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces The Water element signs are profoundly impacted by their element. With each astrological sign, water gives way to emotional depth, strong intuition, and a capacity for deep empathy and connection. Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius Fuelled by the element of Fire, these fire signs in astrology are known for their passion, boldness, energy, enthusiasm, courage, and a zest for life that often leads them to adventurous and creative endeavours. LUCKY LINKS Your friend who most loves to walk. A TV game with a comedy panel. A logo of initials. Advertisement MARS MOMENTUM What makes a house a home is your planet poser; now Mars helps you answer it so boldly. You can turn vague hopes into make-it-happen plans, and be much more upfront with a family. A house with a crimson door could be yours by October. Advertisement Subconscious fears and doubts that have held you back can also be smashed by Mars' positive mindset. This can include family or relationship traditions that keep you in a role you've felt draining your energy over the last few weeks. Read more on the Irish Sun Fabulous is the home of horoscopes, with weekly updates on what's in store for your star sign as well as daily predictions. You can also use our series of guides to find out everything from which star sign to Advertisement

The rise of ‘SugarTok' where women ‘date' wealthy, older men and make up to £40k a year in a bid to pay off debts
The rise of ‘SugarTok' where women ‘date' wealthy, older men and make up to £40k a year in a bid to pay off debts

The Irish Sun

time11 hours ago

  • The Irish Sun

The rise of ‘SugarTok' where women ‘date' wealthy, older men and make up to £40k a year in a bid to pay off debts

SCROLL through TikTok and you can't miss the increasing number of young women flaunting luxury 'sugar baby' lifestyles funded by wealthy, older men. But is it a bit of fun, or something darker – and at what cost? Fabulous investigates… Advertisement 5 Scroll through TikTok and you can't miss the increasing number of young women flaunting luxury 'sugar baby' lifestyles funded by wealthy, older men 5 Psychologist Dr Louise Goddard-Crawley says there's an emotional cost Credit: Dr Louise Goddard-Crawley. Supplied Looking at the mounting pile of bills on the hall table of her student flat, Roxy* felt a rising sense of anxiety. Studying geography at university by day, her four-night-a-week bar job simply wasn't enough to keep up with the rising cost of living. It was a TikTok video that would open Roxy's eyes to the possibility of a controversial way out of her financial struggles. As she scrolled through the app one evening three years ago, the algorithm shared a video made by a 'sugar baby' – a young woman involved in a relationship with an older, wealthy partner. Advertisement Read More on Relationships Showing off a £5,000 Searching #sugarbaby, Roxy was stunned and intrigued to see thousands of similar videos, with young women on luxury holidays, showing off designer clothes and revealing their bank statements – all paid for by their sugar daddies. 'I'd heard of sugar daddies, but had no idea this lifestyle had become so prolific among girls my age,' she says. 'There was this whole world out there of women leading amazing lifestyles, and although some did mention they were having sex, many seemed like they were just being paid and rewarded for their company.' Advertisement Most read in Fabulous Exclusive With 314k videos on TikTok using the hashtag #sugarbaby and thousands more using #sugarbabyproblems, it's now a thriving social media trend. 'I saw these girls my age living lives of luxury, and I wondered where I'd gone wrong' Roxy was 21 when she first spotted the posts. 'Life was so hard at that time,' she recalls. I married my sugar daddy at 24 - now I fly in private jets, I have lots of haters but know they're secretly fans 'I was living off pasta and beans, struggling to pay bills and working until 3am, then getting up to go to lectures. My mum helped when she could, but money was already tight for her. I wasn't able to buy new clothes or go on nights out. I was feeling increasingly isolated. 'I saw these girls the same age as me living a life of luxury, and wondered where I'd gone wrong,' she says. Advertisement In 2022, at the start of her second year of university, Roxy signed up to a site where men are invited to bid for dates, after finding herself unable to afford the deposit for a new flat. 'That was the tipping point when I thought: 'Enough is enough.' I wanted more than life was giving me. 'The site popped up when I googled 'sugar daddies'. If a man makes an offer, you can accept, decline or counter. The money is exchanged on the date itself. There was no mention of sex and it seemed legitimate. It was just going on dates. 'I went on a few dates and, initially, men were buying me dinner and paying me around £200,' Roxy says. Advertisement 'Most of them were in their 50s or 60s, but they weren't terrible company. We'd talk about their jobs and their hobbies and sometimes they'd kiss me on the cheek at the end of the night. It seemed like an easy way to make money.' One or two were 'creepy', she admits. 'I had one guy who kept saying: 'I'm going to stroke you now', and he would touch my back and arms. He hadn't even given me the money at that stage. I always met the men somewhere public, where I felt safe.' In three months, Roxy went on eight dates and made around £2,000. Advertisement Then, in December 2022, she met Mike, a 58-year-old investment banker who said he'd struggled to hold down a 'proper' relationship as he travelled so much for work. After paying for four dates, he asked to make their relationship more permanent. 'I was worried,' Roxy admits. 5 Dating coach Eimear Draper warns such relationships are fundamentally unhealthy Credit: Albane Brand Photo 'Did he want me to sleep with him? I wasn't sure how much 'sugar' I wanted to give. He'd already paid me over £1,000 in a month in cash. Advertisement 'But I liked spending time with him, and he was clear that he only wanted one 'baby'. I didn't want to lose him. I agreed to go to Dubai with him and spent five days shopping and lazing by the pool. It was amazing and I couldn't believe I was being paid £2,000 to go on holiday. We didn't have sex. He was gentlemanly and considerate, and I had my own room.' Roxy isn't unique in having experienced the financial challenges of being a student nowadays. A recent survey by UCL revealed 68% of students can't afford course material. A separate poll found 67% sometimes skip meals to save cash.* Added to that, a recent study by and the Campaign Against Living Miserably found that half of young people feel pressure from social media to buy things or to look a certain way, and 43% spend more than they can afford to keep up with what they see on their feeds. Advertisement Against this backdrop, it's perhaps little wonder that women like Roxy are being tempted into finding a 'sugar relationship'. Chartered psychologist Dr Louise Goddard-Crawley says: 'Social media doesn't just reflect culture, it creates it. When you're constantly exposed to images of designer clothes, luxury holidays and filtered lifestyles, it's easy to feel like you're falling behind.' She adds: 'If you're financially stretched and still working out who you are, the idea of being wanted and looked after can feel incredibly appealing. But what is never shown is the emotional cost, the power dynamics, the pressure to perform and the impact on your self-worth. 'Even if sex is technically consensual, if it's tied to financial support or a sense of obligation, it can leave people feeling out of step with their own desires. I've heard people say: 'I didn't really want to, but I felt I should.'' Advertisement 'He said he'd up my allowance to £4,000 a month if I slept with him' It was following their Dubai trip that Mike first asked Roxy for sex, after giving her a £10,000 By this stage, they'd been 'dating' for three months. He was paying her £3,000 cash every month, as well as buying her fancy gifts, but said he'd up his allowance to £4,000 if she slept with him. 'He was much older than me and I hadn't slept with many men in the past, so I was nervous. But in many ways, I was happier than I'd been in years. I was doing well at uni without money worries on my mind, I got to go out and spend time with my friends, and he wasn't jealous or possessive, so I said yes.' Roxy describes the first time as nerve-wracking and says she just wanted to get it over with. Advertisement 'Afterwards, I asked myself: 'Am I now the same as a prostitute?' But I decided this was different. We were in a relationship of sorts, and there are plenty of marriages where the men support the wives who stay home. I didn't enjoy the sex – I liked Mike but I wasn't attracted to him in that way, but I pretended to be having fun for his sake.' Roxy and Mike were in a 'I didn't tell my family, as I knew mum would be ashamed. I told her I had a boyfriend who came from a wealthy family. Even then she warned me to be careful. I confided in some close friends, who thought it was great – they didn't judge me at all.' Their relationship ended in 2023 when Mike moved overseas, but since then she's had two more regular sugar daddies. Advertisement She is currently in a relationship with Paul*, 55, who she's been seeing for six months. 'Paul likes me to attend events with him and go for dinner after work. I haven't slept with him,' Roxy says. 'He buys me gifts, takes me away for weekends, and he pays my rent.' But dating coach Eimear Draper warns such relationships are fundamentally unhealthy. 'In a healthy relationship, there should be equality. That doesn't mean you have to earn the same, but there should be respect for what you contribute to a life you are building together. In a sugar-baby relationship, there is no equality. It's transactional.' Advertisement 'One girl's sugar daddy paid for her New York apartment, but he wanted sex every night' 5 Sugar Baby Nova Jewel Credit: Supplied by Nova Jewel Former 'People don't realise how dangerous it can be,' says Nova, 29, from Dundee. 'Each time you get a new daddy, you have to do security checks, find out if they are legitimate and if the name they give is their real name. I have my wits about me. If I got the slightest inclination that something was off, I'd cut them off.' Advertisement Nova understands why sugar babies would brag online. 'They can earn a mad amount of money, and I don't think people believe it's real until they experience it themselves,' she says. 'But it's not always as luxurious or straightforward as some influencers would have you believe. 'I often see naive women commenting on posts and saying they are going to do it to pay off debt or feed their children. But this is an adult industry. I knew one girl whose daddy paid for her to live in a multimillion-dollar apartment in New York, but he wanted sex every night. I don't think many people understand where the line is now.' Nova quit working as a sugar baby in April and now has a regular nine-to-five job in events. Advertisement 'I've had a total turnaround,' she says. 'The money was amazing, though I never slept with my sugar daddies. It provided me with a life and money that a nine-to-five job would never have done, but it needed to stop. 'I definitely don't earn the same now, but I love the independence of having my own job and earning my own money. It's time to stand on my own two feet,' she says. Sarah* is 50 and has earned over £4,000 since signing up to be a sugar baby in December last year. She was newly divorced and struggling to pay off £10,000 of debt she'd been saddled with in the wake of her marriage breakdown. Advertisement 'I was sinking under the weight of the debt, which we'd had as a couple. We had to split it when we broke up, and we had two children to look after,' she says. 'My children are teenagers, so I am able to work nights in a supermarket, but it isn't enough. 'I signed up to a site and, within days, I had men offering me money to go on dates with them. I did worry I was too old and no one would be interested, but I had a lot of interest despite my age.' Sarah's first sugar daddy was married and, after several dates, she had sex with him, earning around £1,500. But he constantly pestered her, and said he wanted her to fall in love with him. Advertisement 'In the end, I had to cut him off,' Sarah says. 'I kept on dating, but after that I did make my boundaries clear. I won't have sex with a sugar daddy again. 'Now, I mainly just have lunch dates and coffee with lonely older men. They just want some company and a woman on their arm. It's harmless,' she says. 'For me, it's just a way of paying off my debt. When it's done, I'll stop. There is no emotional connection. It's a way of getting my life back. 'No one knows that I've been dating sugar daddies. I'd be devastated if my children found out. It's not an example I want to set for them.' Advertisement 'I have to look good for my daddies – I'm in the gym every day and I have my hair and nails done' 5 Stock image of a younger woman and older man Credit: GETTY Now on her third sugar daddy, Roxy says although she felt financially pressured into the lifestyle initially, now she wouldn't change it for the world. She has come out of university 'My family think I do a bit of fashion work to earn money. I'm not flashy with it. Most of my stuff is understated and I never brag on socials.' Advertisement 'I don't need to work,' she says. 'I do have to spend time taking care of myself, as I want to look good for my daddies, so I'm in the gym every day and I get my hair and nails done regularly. 'Of course, not everyone will approve of this lifestyle, but it's my life – you only get one, and I'll live it how I choose. 'I'd love to meet someone for a 'real' relationship one day, but right now that's not a priority and I'm certainly not looking. If it happens, maybe I'd have to give this up, but they'd have to be really special – or rich.'

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into a world of global content with local flavor? Download Daily8 app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store