
49 Parent-Tested Products Worth Every Penny
A Frida Baby fold-and-go potty seat that'll bring you peace of mind, knowing your toddler's tush never has to touch a grime-filled public toilet. It comes with a travel bag that'll fit easily in your diaper bag or regular tote bag if you're just running a quick errand with your toddler.
And Ms. Rachel's Potty Time With Bean book — a must-have for toddler parents who are in the midst of tackling potty training. The book features a sweet, motivational story about a little bear who is learning to use the potty (with Ms. Rachel for support, of course). It has reward stickers in the back and tips/tricks for parents!
A 360-degree spill-proof cup that'll seemingly defy the laws of gravity when your tot drinks from it — the water only comes out of the edges when sipped! Not to mention it'll help your mini-me learn to drink from a standard cup sooner.
A Boon drying rack with a surprisingly chic design that'll provide you with the perfect spot to dry your little one's bottles and accessories without ruining the entire look of your kitchen. You might just find yourself using it to nicely dry your wine glass after a loooooong day of taking care of tiny humans...no judgment here.
A Maxi Cosi Kiskadee high chair starring a 360-degree swivel feature you can use to turn your tyke as needed instead of stretching your self-proclaimed T-Rex arms to the limit in an attempt to spoon some mashed sweet potato into their hangry little gullet.
Or a modern high chair from Stokke that'll transform into a perfectly sized mini chair as your child grows. They'll be able to use it right up against your kitchen table to dine alongside the family, and it'll look great alongside your other furniture. Not to mention, it'll be super easy to clean after your kiddo inevitably coats it in jelly, peanut butter, marinara sauce, and juice.
A Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced parents will be able to rely on to help them make their baby a bottle in a flash — which is *much* appreciated when they're screaming their head off because they've decided they're hungry. I've literally told every single parent or parent-to-be in my life that THIS machine is what's keeping me going — it is the light of my life (next to my kids, of course).
Plus a Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro, because anything that is going to make your life easier during the first year of being a parent is worth every penny. This magical machine washes, sterilizes, AND dries bottles, breast pump parts, and other accessories with natural steam. Take it from someone who genuinely knows — this will save you SO much time so you can do one of the other million things on your to-do list instead of hangin' out with a bottle brush.
A Munchkin bottle warmer you'll pat yourself on the back for buying when your baby is happily chugging down a perfectly temperate bottle of the house white. Gone are the days of microwaving (oops) or soaking a bottle in hot water to get it nice 'n' warm for your babies. It's compatible with most brands, so no need to give up your favorite bottle.
Speaking of bottles, a starter set of Chicco Duo Newborn Hybrid Baby Bottles with glass on the inside but plastic on the outside that'll ensure your baby's milk will only touch pure glass. This means no gross smells, aftertaste, or discolorations over time! Bottoms up, babes.
Or a set of silicone baby bottles from Boon Nursh with a shockingly chic design (yes, I said CHIC in regards to a bottle) that'll make you feel like you're really nailing this whole parenting thing...aesthetically, at least. They're easy for baby to hold on, which will give you some bonus time to do something else with YOUR hands.
A toddler-size table you can fold up easily when your kiddos aren't using it to color, snack, or bang on like a drum. It'll ensure they always have somewhere to hang without it taking up too much space in your already over-flowing playroom.
A playpen to contain your precious and surprisingly VERY fast beast who just learned to crawl and is suddenly everywhere all at once. Plop 'em in here with some of their favorite toys while you grab a cup of already-cold coffee and get to work baby-proofing the rest of the house.
A Nanit monitor and wall mount to help you keep a watchful eye on your babe while they sleep — you can also easily see stats on how long they've been asleep or if they're standing and not-so-patiently waiting for you to come scoop 'em up.
A Hatch Restore 3 to act as a night-light, a white noise machine, an alarm clock, and a sleep trainer with a design that seamlessly blends into the nursery's decor. Fingers crossed, you and your kiddo will get some sleep this decade with the help of this gadget!
An iconic Sophie the Giraffe teether your little one will, for unexplained reasons, likely cherish and love chomping away on as their pearly whites start to (painfully) poke through.
Aquaphor Healing Ointment — it'll be one of the most unexpected parenting holy grail items you'll use daily on your little one. It's unscented, preservative-free, and fantastic for healing sensitive skin. You know how in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Gus was always saying, "Put some Windex on it!" to fix all things? Well, that's about to be you with Aquaphor.
And a baby butt spatula you'll either laugh or cringe at but will thank your lucky stars that you thought to purchase it when you see how much nicer it is to apply diaper cream to your baby's booty with it instead of your finger. It has incredible suction on the bottom, so you can keep it right next to your changing pad without fear of it being kicked over by your unruly tot.
A Frida Baby The 3-Step Cradle Cap System that'll remove dry skin from baby's scalp so gently they won't even notice — it comes with a sponge, a brush, and a comb that'll all work together to get your kiddo's scalp looking good.
A bottle of The Honest Company detangling spray to help post-shower hair brushing sessions go a bit more, for lack of a better term, smoothly! It's hypoallergenic, all-natural, gentle and boasts a delectable scent.
A Little Big Playroom ball pit if your kiddo's nickname is The Energizer Bunny — it'll keep them contained and entertained! The edges are so soft that they can also chew on it and fall into it without harming themselves (a big parenting win).
Frida Baby Natural Vapor Bath Bombs filled with eucalyptus and lavender, so when your little one inevitably does get sick, you'll be ready to go with a soothing bathtime edition that'll help clear their sinuses and relax their little body.
A bottle of Tubby Todd's new micellar water for when your tyke had a blowout in the morning, resulting in an unplanned bath, but then covers themselves in marinara sauce during dinner. Sigh. No parent wants to do bathtime twice; give that kiddo a quick (but satisfying!) clean with this instead.
A Newton Essential Crib Mattress that'll help provide you with some peace of mind once your tyke starts actually sleeping on top of it — it's made with a unique woven material that babies can completely breathe through (an absolute game changer) and is also fully washable.
A Momcozy wearable breast pump you can count on to give you your independence back (kind of) or at the very least free up your hands so you can do other things like read a book, meal prep, clean the toilet, whatever(!!!) instead of being chained to a stationery pump.
A bath toy thermometer that'll become your most reliable bathtime companion — it'll alert you to precisely what temperature the water is and if it's an appropriate one for your baby to soak in. You've got enough on your plate, let this seal take the reins on this one.
An inexpensive baby gate featuring a pressure mount you'll adore because you won't have to drill holes into your walls (a big win). It's easy to install and easy for adults to open with one hand, which you'll definitely be thankful for when you're trying to carry your baby and open it simultaneously.
A 3-in-1 Frida Baby Infrared thermometer with a built-in sensor that'll make taking your tyke's temperature a breeze. You can also remove the tip and use it as an inner-ear thermometer and use it to take your own as well! Perfect for any parents who err on the side of caution and find themselves checking their kiddo's temp anytime they look a bit flushed (ahem, me).
A pack of spill-proof Munchkin snack catchers so your kiddo can take their fave snack with them while venturing to different areas of the playground or enjoy a lil' nibble of something while en route to a playdate.
Or a snack spinner with five compartments for kids who like to diversify their palate when on the go, and by "diversify," I mean they want Goldfish, graham crackers, cereal, yogurt bites, *and* fruit all at once. Why is it so hard to satiate a toddler?!
Plus a pack of hair bow ties in any color you might possibly need to transform your toddler from a terror into a tiny treasure (or, at least, their hair). It'll be a major upgrade from trying to twist minuscule rubber bands around their locks *and then* fastening a hairbow while their already-slim patience is wearing thin.
A BabyBjörn Harmony Carrier, so you can do all kinds of things hands-free, like take your baby on a Target shopping trip, do chores around the house, make a salad, brush your hair, whatever! They'll likely get a nice, snuggly nap in while you get stuff done. It'll be a win for everyone!
And a hip seat sling that'll be a must-buy for your back if you've got a Stage 5 clinger for a toddler (siiiiigh) but don't want to let that stop you from getting outdoors.
Or a 3-in-1 baby carrier with a hip seat to combine the magic of a carrier *and* a hip seat so you can tote your tot around in a variety of ways from the infant days to the toddler years.
Plus a 10-pack of colorful unisex HonestBaby tees that'll refresh your kiddo's closet with their latest size and without any extra stress for Mom or Dad. Apologies, though, I can't offer any advice on how to get them from rolling around like a feral creature when you try to get the shirt on 'em...
Sink extenders so you won't need to muster up Herculean strength every time your surprisingly dense toddler wants to wash their sticky little paws.
And a pack of brilliant light switch extenders that'll let tykes turn them on all on their own! Don't be surprised if you catch them humming Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent" soon.
Tubby Todd All Over Ointment — aka parents' saving grace for any skincare issues their tyke throws their way. It's formulated with plant-based materials like Jojoba Esters and Camellia Leaf Extract that naturally moisturize skin but *without* any heavy fragrances. It's a thick, reliable cream that soaks in quickly and works wonders on everyone and everything.
A Doona all-in-one travel system — a magical car seat and stroller combo that'll make getting your baby out of the house way less daunting. No need to break a sweat while trying to insert your infant's heavy car seat into a separate stroller contraption without waking them; simply lift this one out of the car, and the wheels will click into place underneath. The only explanation for this invention is an exhausted parent must've used one of their three wishes and asked a Genie to craft this.
A Mockingbird Single-to-Double Stroller 2.0 for anyone who is currently in the baby/toddler trenches and starting to sweat thinking about trekking around the playground with both kiddos. Parenting several littles is not for the weak, but if you're in the same boat as me, you'll want a reliable double-stroller option!
Or the Bugaboo Donkey 5 Duo bassinet and seat stroller set, so even if you're adding another little one to the mix, your toddler won't have to sacrifice their sweet ride. Once your baby outgrows the bassinet seat, you can swap in the regular seat so they can hang with their toddler sibling on outdoor adventures.
A splurge-worthy new Nuna Lumn Car Seat with incredible features that'll make you want to add it to your registry — it can support kids weighing anywhere from 30 to 110 lbs, has nine different reclining options (OK, fancy), can be converted from a harness seat to a booster as your child gets bigger, *AND* is so slim it can actually fit alongside two other car seats in most mid-sized vehicles (which any parent of many will know is a big freakin' deal).
Or a Babyark Smart Carseat if you're a self-proclaimed techy who is HERE for a cool gadget and the added bonus that it'll keep your kiddo super duper safe. It's made of carbon fiber and steel (okkkkkk!), has military-grade absorption (cooool!) features a machine-washable and fire-retardant material (yesss, tell me more!), and adjusts for newborns up to 6-year-olds (WOW!).
A lightweight Veer All-Terrain Cruiser stroller/wagon with a ton of practical accessories and configurations that'll make it an integral part of all your family's outdoor excursions from now through the fall! Dad can load it up and hit the playground like he would have the *~clurb~* back in the 2010s.
A Toniebox Audio Player Starter Set, which is essentially a tiny stereo toddlers can control all on their own just by swapping out which character magnetically sits on top of it. Each individual figure tells different stories and sings different songs — it's a great way to keep kids entertained without a screen.
A Boon folding toddler tower you can stow away when your tyke isn't begging you to use it. (So, never?) It's sturdy, has grippy nonslip feet, an adjustable height, and is exactly what your dying-to-always-be-hands-on kid needs to partake in nightly cooking or daily crafting.
A BabyBjörn bouncer, so your eager-to-sit little one can comfortably survey the room, indulge in a little Ms. Rachel on YouTube, or bounce to their heart's content (honestly, whatever works).
An interactive routine board from Charmspring you'll squeal over how darn cute it is! It'll provide a lovely little visual of your family's day-to-day and help your kiddo learn about planning, scheduling, and overall routines.
And an electric swivel nursery chair you will likely spend more time sleeping in than your actual bed (unless you have an angel baby, and in that case, I am extremely envious). This S-tier chair reclines slowly and, more importantly, quietly with the push of a button! It also has USB charging ports built in, so when you desperately need to pee at 3 a.m. and need to contact your partner to swap places with you, you won't discover a dead phone.

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Buzz Feed
2 days ago
- Buzz Feed
35 Mundane But Useful Items You'll Be Glad You Bought
A Finish dishwasher cleaner because yes, the thing that cleans your dishes also needs to be cleaned. 😩 But cheer up! 😀 It couldn't be easier to use — just place it upside down on the bottom rack of your dishwasher (make sure it's totally empty!!!), then run a cycle on the hottest setting. Ta-da! You'll have a sparkling clean dishwasher that looks as fresh as the day you moved in. A Bounce wrinkle release spray in a convenient travel size so you can take it with you on your next vacay. Seriously, who has time to iron while traveling?! There's also no telling if that dusty hotel iron is actually going to work. All you have to do is spray, tug the fabric a few times, then smooth the wrinkles away with your hand. It's also perfect for refreshing any clothes you plan to wear a few times during your trip, thanks to the fresh scent. A pack of duster sponges some reviewers say are even better than the often-sold-out Scrub Daddy Damp Duster (also, why isn't it called the Dust Daddy?!) This is perfect for that annoying caked-on dust that a typical dry duster can't tackle — just dampen it, swipe, then rinse to reuse. An eight-compartment pill organizer so you can ditch the bulky bottles for something that's way easier to slip in your pocket. You'll also be the hero of your travel group when anybody has a sudden headache. A Frida Baby rinse cup that's on basically every parent's wishlist for making bath time an absolute breeze. The spout creates a gentle rainfall effect to help make the rinsing process less overwhelming for babies who are a bit suspicious of this whole H2O business. You can also use the other side for a slightly heavier "waterfall" pour that's still gentle enough for even the fussiest toddler. I'm gonna be honest with you, reader — this looks so relaxing I kind of want one for myself. A suede and leather brush to eliminate the scuffs, oil marks, dirt, and foot impressions that threaten to ruin all your cute warm-weather fits. It has four different sets of bristles so you can scrub as hard or as soft as you want, and it's designed to work by itself — no cleaning solution or soap required! A set of limited edition wildflower Band-Aids so even your boo-boos will be super cute and match all the sundresses you bought for summer. Or! If you scrape your knee while gardening, these floral cuties will keep the happy vibes going. A next-level toothbrush your dentist will be so ridiculously proud of you for using. It has the standard bristles you'd expect from any toothbrush, but the game-changer is the extra-long bristles that are 10x thinner — meaning they can reach in between teeth and under the gum line to help sweep away food and residue. And an electric travel toothbrush that takes up way less space than the one your dentist is always trying to convince you to buy. You'll still get a nice vibrating effect and a helpful 2-minute timer, but it's about the same size as a normal toothbrush! A 3-in-1 wireless charger so you can power up your iPhone, Apple Watch, and AirPods at the same time — no more wishing you had way more USB ports near your bed! The standout feature might just be the foldable design, meaning you can take it to the office with you so your noise-canceling AirPods never run out of juice. Imagine having to listen to your co-workers instead?! A jar opening tool that will be an absolute lifesaver when that jar of Ragu is holding on to the lid like its life depends on it (to be fair, it kind of does). It has four different slots to help open a variety of jar sizes, and there's even a helpful hook at the top to help with pull-tab cans when it's a Chef Boyardee kind of night. A pack of Neutrogena makeup remover towelettes, which will become your new travel staple since you can take the exact amount of makeup wipes you need instead of bringing an entire pouch or a bulky jar of cleaning balm. You can also bring one with you to refresh your skin while you're out and about running errands when the sun is blazing. A Pikk-it tool designed to remove the tangled hair/fur that's lodged in your vacuum's roller brush (which is making it WAY less effective btw). You can also use it to spruce up your hairbrushes, so this is basically stray hair's worst enemy. A set of Tide sink packs so you can easily hand-wash your clothes, meaning you can pack less and re-wear more on your next vacation! Simply fill your sink with warm water, add one sink pack, agitate and soak your items in the water, then rinse, dry, and be thankful for all the extra carry-on space. An absolutely genius device called a "Supoon" — this perfectly sized spoon not only helps you scrape every last bit of food from the container (think: peanut butter, yogurt, cream cheese, etc.) but also has a unique design that keeps it away from the countertop when you set it down! This is about to prevent SO many "babe, stop leaving your peanut butter spoon on the counter" arguments. Suction cup knobs that are about to completely change your bathroom storage game. The twist-and-lock design can easily adhere to glass, plastic, mirror, or porcelain surfaces — and it holds up to 15 pounds! You can also easily remove them and place them in a new area as many times as you want, so your loofah knobs can become your hand towel knobs with ease. Miss Mouth's Messy Eater Stain Treater Spray — it's so effective that you'll remain suspiciously calm the next time your tot's chocolate milk makes its way from their sippy cup to the couch cushion. Or when your glass of merlot faces a similar fate. Just spray, blot, rinse, and pour another. A bottle of sulfate-free biotin shampoo that has reviewers feeling like they're the star of a Pantene commercial. Biotin can help provide a fuller appearance to your strands (hello volume!!!), while rosemary and coconut oil are known to moisturize the scalp (bye-bye, itchiness). You'll be ~toss, tossing~ your hair like Glinda in no time. 💁♀️ A pack of LeakLocks Toiletry Skins — they slip over the caps of your liquid toiletries to help prevent leaks! Genius! Imagine never worrying about your sunscreen exploding and making an absolute mess of your fave toiletry bag. A genius brush and squeegee combo so you can just swipe all your countertop messes directly into the sink. It even has a built-in ledge so you can hang it when not in use. A ridiculously helpful eyelash comb to solve one of the biggest beauty dilemmas: what do I do when my mascara clumps?! Put down the makeup wipes — this helpful little comb will remove the excess mascara and separate your lashes at the same time. It's also perfect if eyelash curlers make your lashes look smushed together. An on-the-go Gillette razor with a mini handle and carrying case that makes it an absolute breeze to pack in your carry-on. But you don't have to sacrifice quality for convenience — this has five blades for a close shave and moisturizing strips infused with avocado oil to keep your skin feeling silky smooth. A pack of antibacterial paper soap sheets that will seriously come in handy when the public restroom you're using is out of that mysterious pink sludge they call soap. Just pull out a sheet, wet it, then get to lathering. A storage strip to keep your brooms and mops off the floor and free up some much-needed space in your utility closet. It might even convince you to clean more, but no promises. A no-scrub weekly shower cleaner that'll stop soap scum and residue from forming before they have a chance to take over your entire tub. Just spray and walk away — your future self will be so grateful. A set of fridge bins to add some order to your chaotic mess of groceries. And because you'll be able to actually see all your food, you might just end up using that bag of lettuce before it goes bad. A pack of all-natural bottle-cleaning tablets that'll help remove stains and odors from any water bottles or coffee tumblers that you've left unwashed for an embarrassingly long time. It happens. Just fill your cup with warm water, drop the tablet in, and wait 15–30 minutes; rinse your cup, then get back to hydrating and/or caffeinating yourself. Over-the-door shelves for storing other smaller accessories that are scattered all over your home. Actually, you might want one of these for every door in your home. Many reviewers use it to store socks, undergarments, and other clothing items, though it's also perfect for kitchen pantries and linen closets! The beloved Hard as Hoof nourishing cream made with beeswax and jojoba oil to condition brittle nails and cuticles (on your fingers AND toes!) and have them looking as shiny and fresh as they did before that gel manicure did its damage. It's designed to sink in quickly (a rare feat in the world of cuticle oils) and it also smells like coconuts. I probably should have led with the coconut part. 🥥 🤤 A universal travel adapter you can use in over 160 countries — because nothing is more annoying than realizing you forgot to bring the right adapter. You can use it to charge up several devices at a time, so you can have your phone, power bank, laptop, and AirPods charging at once! A reusable gel lint roller that's a major upgrade from the traditional sticky rolls that require approximately 10 sheets just to clean one shirt. Just pop open the cover and roll it over any garments that need a good sprucing up, then give it a quick rinse, and it'll be ready to use again! A garbage disposal cleaner — it can tackle any food residue that's been lingering in there for far too long. It makes you realize adulthood is just learning about all the things you never realized you were supposed to be cleaning. A pack of space-saving compression bags that do not require a vacuum or pump!! Just place your bulky coats and sweaters inside and roll the bag up tightly to release the air and save some major space in your carry-on. A pair of handheld scrapers — they'll make your cast iron pans look as good as the day you bought them. It's gentle enough to use on nonstick surfaces, and unlike a sponge, this won't trap a bunch of food particles that are hard to rinse out. Now you can spend less time cleaning and more time whipping up culinary masterpieces. A cult-favorite foot file that'll grind away at calluses and have your heels and toes looking silky smooth and ready to slip into your coziest socks. There are many foot files out there, but more than 85,000 Amazon reviewers say this one works like a charm.


Buzz Feed
22-06-2025
- Buzz Feed
The Hidden Dark Side Of Gifted Programs Revealed
I don't remember precisely when I first heard the word 'gifted,' but it must have been in early elementary school. I do remember being pulled out of my first-grade class and led to the fifth-grade classroom, where a teacher told me to choose a chapter book that was 'more at my level.' I appreciated the chance to choose from all sorts of new books, but it marked an early example of what would eventually be both a privilege and a curse: my foray into being 'set apart' academically from my fellow classmates. By the time I reached middle school, the gifted and talented program in my district had taken wing. The timing makes sense: In 1998, many American schools were provided with official K-12 standards for so-called 'gifted education' by the National Association of Gifted Children. While the NAGC first promoted advanced academic programming in the 1950s, its work in the late '80s and '90s represented a more structured approach to educating students who were found to be gifted. K-12 gifted education standards were preceded by the passage of the Jacob Javits Gifted and Talented Act in 1988, which secured funding to 'orchestrate a coordinated program of scientifically based research, demonstration projects, innovative strategies, and similar activities that build and enhance the ability of elementary and secondary schools to meet the special educational needs of gifted and talented students.' In those early days, my experience with Gifted & Talented (or G/T, as we fondly called it) was almost entirely positive. Our G/T class was tucked away in a windowless classroom whose walls we decorated with silly drawings and posters. Several of my close friends were also in the program, and there was nothing better than getting to hang out with them for an hour or two per day while working on our largely self-assigned curriculum. Our teacher was warm and encouraging, always pushing each of us to incorporate our individual interests and skills into projects. In fact, nearly all the teachers I worked with in G/T were engaged educators who genuinely wanted their students to thrive. I'm forever grateful for their personal guidance, regardless of my later reflections on the program. In so many ways, G/T was a safe place at school — a place where I could be my true (weird) self and engage in more self-directed learning. But there was a troubling flip side to the G/T experience that took me years to unpack. From what I could gather, most students qualified for the program based on standardized test scores. While the NAGC defines gifted pupils as 'those who demonstrate outstanding levels of aptitude (defined as an exceptional ability to reason and learn) or competence (documented performance or achievement in top 10% or rarer) in one or more domains,' it seems inevitable that many kids would be excluded from gifted education for factors beyond their control. In her 2016 book Engaging and Challenging Gifted Students: Tips for Supporting Extraordinary Minds in Your Classroom, Jenny Grant Rankin, Ph.D., outlines gaps in gifted education. Nonwhite students, socioeconomically disadvantaged kids, girls, and those classified as English language learners are disproportionately excluded from gifted and talented programming, Rankin reports. She also cites a 2016 study by Jason A. Grissom and Christopher Redding that found that Black students were 50% less likely to be considered for gifted and talented programs than their white counterparts, even when both groups recorded similar standardized test scores. What's more, students of color were less likely to be labeled gifted when their teachers were white. In G/T, I learned quickly that much of my self-esteem came from academic praise and approval from adults. The 'gifted' label seeped into everything I did and was a stumbling block at times — if I struggled to master a concept in math class or didn't understand a question on a social studies test, I'd avoid asking for help. After all, I was gifted. I shouldn't need help with anything, right? It felt like my so-called 'natural' giftedness should pre-qualify me to succeed in any endeavor, which led me to prematurely give up on new hobbies later in life when I didn't immediately feel like a master. And when a project in a non-G/T class earned anything less than an A, I often found myself in tears and seeking reassurance from my family and friends that I was 'still smart.' The question of 'potential' was another overwhelming aspect of G/T. Gifted kids at my school were encouraged to pursue all sorts of fields — with the unspoken message that no matter what we pursued, we were expected to be excellent. Most of us went on to take as many Advanced Placement classes in high school as our schedules would allow, driven by the sense that we simply had to be high achievers. Academic excellence would translate directly to excellence in career and life in general, many of us thought. It wasn't until college that I first experienced the lingering impacts of the gifted education experience. Suddenly, I was a very small fish in the massive pond that is the University of Michigan. I wasn't the 'smart kid' anymore— I was one of thousands of 'smart kids,' all of whom had ambitions on par with or beyond my own. College instructors rarely offered direct praise, and the occasional B in a class became commonplace. When I couldn't maintain perfection, I felt like I was failing the version of myself I was supposed to become. Unsurprisingly, college was also when my mental health took its first major nosedive. Alongside a handful of personal issues, my sudden sense of academic invisibility had triggered a crisis. My path felt unclear. Wasn't I supposed to get to college, breeze through with perfect grades, and immediately jump into an impressive career? When graduation rolled around, I got a dose of validation by heading off on a Fulbright teaching grant to Malaysia, but my life beyond that looked so blurry. It took a long time to admit that I didn't want to go to grad school, which felt shameful. Without academic validation or 'high achievement' on the table, would I be untethered forever? In the decade since, I've drawn connections between my most plaguing anxieties and my early education. It's taken practice to feel more comfortable with accepting professional criticism or admitting when I'm not sure how to do something at work. I see how my G/T years merged self-worth with accolades and grades, and I feel sad for the younger version of myself — along with other 'formerly gifted' peers — who internalized so many false measures of success. At times, adulthood feels like an ongoing battle to remind myself that I'm a valuable, worthy person, regardless of outward achievements. I'm not alone: In recent years, the 'formerly gifted kid' trope has become something of a meme, with TikTokers cracking dark jokes about their lingering sense of anxiety, perfectionism and perceived failure to live up to parents' and teachers' expectations. It's funny because it's true. Data shows that while gifted programs can result in better long-term academic outcomes and college success for some students, these benefits still reflect inequities. A 2021 study by Grissom and Redding found that small associations existed between participation in gifted programming and long-term achievement in math and reading, but there was no evidence to support a correlation between gifted kids and their general engagement with school. Most glaringly, even these small positive associations were skewed toward higher-income white pupils, with low-income or Black gifted students excluded from long-term academic gains. What's more, this research doesn't begin to explore gifted education's extended impact on social and emotional development for all participants. I don't regret my time as a gifted kid, but I do wish G/T had offered more care for students' mental health and more inclusivity for children who didn't fit the program's relatively narrow mold of exceptionalism. I wish I could unlearn the idea that outward praise equals true success, and measure excellence in the form of learning for learning's sake. Above all, I wish we'd had an environment where every single student was reminded how smart and talented they were, and given the tools to explore their gifts — no matter what form they took.
Yahoo
14-06-2025
- Yahoo
My sister and I are identical twins. We did everything together until college, when we set out to find our own identities.
I was known for being an identical twin, and that shaped my identity. We lived in a small town in Iowa, and no one could tell us apart. My husband's best friend is a triplet, so he understood that my sister and I were not the same person. Being an identical twin shaped my identity in childhood. From the very beginning, it was what I was known for. I can't recall one picture of me without Rebekah. The story I heard most often was of our birth. I grew up in a tiny town in Iowa with dismal healthcare, which meant that even in 1980, my mom didn't have an ultrasound. After delivering me, the doctor shouted, "There's another one in there!" and my dad almost fainted. They say one of the perks of living in a small town is that everyone knows your name. Well, I guess that only applies to non-twins. Which one was I again? Rebekah or Rachel, they'd ask. My parents encouraged this by dressing us identically and giving us the same hairstyle. They thought it was best for us to be together, and we were supposed to ensure the other twin was safe. I thought we would grow up to live next door to each other. This constant togetherness was all I ever knew and was such a large part of my identity that when I talk about my childhood, I accidentally start using the plural "we" to tell a story about myself. The only time we were apart was during the short school day. The elementary school wouldn't let us be in the same class together, but we made sure to play together at recess and sit together at lunch. I hated being away from Rebekah. It felt like half of me was missing. She was my best friend and the person I was the most myself with. Being a twin was the most interesting thing about me. It was something that people were always curious about. Do we have telepathic powers? If Rebekah gets hurt, do I feel it? Don't get me wrong, I liked the attention, but no one ever asked about me specifically or wondered who I was without Rebekah. People wondered if we played tricks, like we were some characters in a Disney film. No, we didn't, and by high school, it was no longer funny finding out a boy meant to ask you to homecoming but got it wrong. In return, I often wondered what it was like not to be a twin. Was it terribly lonely? Regardless of whether other people knew the difference between Rebekah and me, we did. Having an identical twin was an easy yardstick against which to measure myself. Her successes felt like my failures. By high school, our twinness was a competition of who did it better while also knowing each other so well that a sideways glance could cut like a knife. While we had similar interests (and still do), we started to find our own paths. I baked cookies and made a scrapbook while Rebekah wrote in her journal and joined the soccer team. But the most profound difference was that she knew what she wanted to do after high school, and I did not. She was going to a four-year college and was going to get an English degree. I could've gone and done the same, but by that point, I was starting to see that I needed to be a whole person and not just the other half of a whole. It was the first time in my life that Rebekah wasn't right by my side. We stayed in touch, but we were both finding out what it was like to be seen as our own person and not the other sister's doppelgänger. I wasn't used to going places by myself or having to make all my own decisions without my twin's input. After a year, I ended up across the country at a small college. I met my husband and found out that his best friend was a triplet, which is decidedly cooler than a twin. He knew firsthand how incredibly different identicals can be. For the first time, being a twin didn't seem all that interesting. I didn't have to try to explain what it was like or answer silly questions. He truly wanted to know me as me. I was finally known and loved for who I was and not seen as part of a box set. Sometimes I think about how sad 10-year-old me would be that Rebekah and I don't live next door to each other. But once she got over the shock of it, she'd be proud of the life I created all on my own. Read the original article on Business Insider