The Soft Life Is Over — This Year We're 'Locking In'

Refinery29

20-06-2025

The ' locking in ' side of TikTok is unrelenting. Early morning alarm clocks followed by a montage of to-do lists, meal-prepped oats, and speed typing on the latest MacBook Pro. Sound bites from motivational speaker Mel Robbins play in the background. 'The bottom line is, no one is coming,' she says. 'Unless you understand that you've got to push yourself, you're not gonna make your dreams come true.' If you're familiar with the above, you've seen how people swear by 'locking in'.
Locking in, for the uninitiated, is a trend which sees TikTokers pursue discipline, cut out distractions, and chase long-term goals with near-military focus, be it in their professional lives, academic careers, or simply their workout routines. From dopamine detoxes to grind playlists, locking in marks a sharp pivot from the ' soft life ' trend that once dominated feeds. Soothing videos promoting slow mornings and self-care are now completely outnumbered, with all-time figures showing there's just over 460 thousand posts using the soft life hashtag on TikTok compared to millions using locked in and locking in. The question is, what triggered this collective switch?
'I think a big part of this shift is economic reality finally catching up with softness,' says Hali, a 22-year-old from Minnesota. ' Rent is up, [school] tuition is wild, and social mobility feels like it's shrinking, so naturally there's this urgency, especially among young people, to do something about it.' For Hali, who's built a following of over 130,000 followers on TikTok by sharing career, lifestyle, and personal development videos, locking in means aligning her actions with the life she wants. 'It's not just about working,' she tells me, 'it's about reclaiming power in a system that often leaves us feeling powerless.'
Although she's always been productive, Hali 'amplified' this nine months ago. With a growing list of responsibilities (see: school studies, running a new business, and creating social content), she realised that 'coasting was not productive' and there was more 'potential' to be unlocked. 'I live by my Google Calendar,' she says of how she applies herself to achieve this. 'I time-block everything – from classes to content editing to deep work on my projects. I wake up early, plan my weeks, and treat my goals like they're due tomorrow.'
@haliijama I said this before and I'll say it again!! Do the hard work now so future you can live off the fruits of your labor. You are never going to be this energized, motivated & young again and it's better to work on these things now rather than later. #discipline #selfdiscipline #motivationalvideo #lifeadvice #chooseyourhard #motivationalclip ♬ original sound - Hali Jama
Hali isn't alone in that thinking or way of life. 'With the unending uncertainty of the world, economically, politically, and culturally, I believe people are turning inward and focusing on what they can control: their mindset, their habits, and their goals,' says Chloe, a 26-year-old from Los Angeles who locked in two years ago – well before the trend made it to our TikTok feeds. After a series of job swaps and a failed business venture, Chloe reached a 'turning point' and took a 'hard, honest look' at her situation. 'I knew I had to change the way I was living – starting with my mindset and daily habits.'
Fast forward to 2025 and things are totally different for Chloe, who's now a qualified personal trainer and founder of a start-up. 'I've been deeply committed to personal growth,' she says, pointing to the 'transformative' practices – like meditating, journaling, working out, and meal-prepping – that help her be 'a little kinder, hotter, smarter, and richer, and more radiant every single day.'
'In periods of scarcity or instability, we often react by narrowing our focus and over-indexing on behaviours we can influence, like budgeting, working harder, or hyper-planning our futures,' explains Samantha Rosenberg, behavioural economist and co-founder of wealth-tech platform, Belong. 'This urgency is also driven by anticipatory regret: the fear of looking back and wishing you'd done more, earlier.'
'Self-discipline becomes a kind of psychological safety net,' she adds. 'It's why we're seeing a shift from 'treat yourself' to 'train yourself'. It feels safer.' With that in mind, it makes sense that so many people are resonating with this stricter approach to life, and a quick look at Google Trends backs this up. Over the past three months, searches for 'locked in' have shown a steady increase globally, particularly in the UK (with a growth of over 30%) and the US. Meanwhile, searches for soft life have plateaued.
'The 'soft life' was about rest and protecting peace, but I think a lot of us realised that soft living isn't sustainable long-term without some structure or achievement to back it,' says 23-year-old Samia, a London-based student. The soft life doesn't lend itself goals that require some level of grit to achieve. 'Eventually, I felt stuck,' agrees Weirong, a 25-year-old communication expert and podcaster who swapped the 'soft life' for one that's 'locked in'. 'The pause that once felt like healing started to feel like avoidance,' she continues. 'I noticed myself delaying goals in the name of 'alignment,' when really I was afraid of failing.'
''Locking in' became my way of honouring the growth from the 'soft life' while re-engaging with the world, this time with clarity and purpose,' Weirong adds of this lifestyle transition. 'I show up with consistency even when it's uncomfortable – I wake up earlier to journal, prioritise deep work, say no to distractions. It's about combining self-awareness with strategy.'
Since 'locking in', all four women say they've noticed financial and professional improvements. Hali tells me of her business' growth and the brand deals she's secured, Samia points to the quality of her academic performance, Weirong is celebrating new projects and a podcast while Chloe says she's found 'true purpose' in her start-up. This sounds great, but has it come at a cost to other areas of their lives?
Dr Audrey Tang, a psychologist specialising in resilience, burnout, and performance culture, tells me 'locking in' can be positive when it means 'listening to what your body needs and feeding your soul in a healthy way,' but that's not always the case. She explains that when behaviours become 'performative' and 'inauthentic', we see instances of burnout.
This idea of performance ties directly into the online worlds we occupy, where our behaviours are increasingly shaped by what we see and how we want to be seen. 'We're constantly exposed to curated versions of success, which can trigger what we call 'relative deprivation' and fuel an internal race to catch up,' adds Rosenberg. 'Our brains aren't wired for this kind of always-on comparison. Even rest becomes performative – so these social platforms amplify both the extremes of self-care and hustle culture.'
@chloeegaynor and I'm LOCCCKKKINNNGGG in. who's locking in too ;) #lockedin #mindset #wellness #fitness #health #sprint #routine ♬ Let it happen by Tame impala - Elldzs★
Chloe admits she's felt this at times. 'I started locking in to build a life I was proud of, one where I didn't have to work myself to total exhaustion. But I've experienced burnout from being too locked in,' she says, explaining this caused her to 'miss out on joy, peace, and time with loved ones.' Now, Chloe makes an effort to carve out time for the things she enjoys day-to-day, as well as long-term. 'I make it a goal to do at least 20 minutes of something I thoroughly enjoy every day,' she points out. 'Even when my schedule is packed, I do my best to stay consistent, and lately I've been more intentional about making plans, taking trips, and allowing myself to feel excitement.'
Similarly, Samia says locking in too much triggers feelings of guilt. 'You feel like you're falling behind if you're not productive every minute,' she says. 'I've been there and I'm still trying to find my way around it, but I've learnt to build flexibility into my schedule and to reframe rest as part of the process, not a sign of weakness.'
'Being self-aware is important,' advises Dr Tang. 'If you find your reaction to missing a workout (or whatever your routine is) is out of proportion to the event itself, then you would do well to engage in self-reflection to see if 'motivation' has turned into overly rigid discipline, which may not be healthy.'
'The key is knowing when to push and when to pause,' adds Samia, 'Rest isn't a reward but a requirement,' adds Weirong, who points to the soft life lessons she still holds on to. 'Locking in, for me, is soft life with purpose – it includes rest, but also requires discipline. It's the integration of stillness and structure.' To that end, here's a reminder that purpose doesn't have to be punishing, and peace doesn't mean giving up. Yes, your career might skyrocket during a season of locking in – but if it comes at the cost of your mental health, relationships, or happiness, it's worth asking: success by whose definition?
The pursuit of success is seemingly driving the collective shift toward structure, however that looks for individuals). 'When people sense that long-term opportunities – like home ownership or financial freedom – are slipping out of reach, doubling down on discipline offers a sense of agency,' Rosenberg reminds us, adding that by focusing on 'immediate actions' we feel like we can 'shift the long game.'
Both the soft life and locking in trends offer that illusion of control, and these social media-friendly frameworks promise fulfilment, even if by different routes. But they risk becoming performative obligations than actual choices. Perhaps, then, we needn't choose a side, but step back from the cycle altogether and accept that a successful life doesn't have to be optimised, aesthetic, or For You Page-approved. A successful life is whatever you make it.