Bride's Mom Shocks Bridesmaids by Sending Them a 'Substantial' Bill for Wedding Shower: 'No Idea How to Respond'
She wrote to the "Miss Manners" column, seeking advice on how to handle the unexpected situation
She said being asked to pay for the shower "strikes me as inappropriate"A bridesmaid was taken aback when she received something unexpected from the bride's mother: a bill for the upcoming wedding shower.
She detailed the situation in a letter to the "Miss Manners" advice column, published by The Mercury News on Monday, July 14, explaining that she and all the other bridesmaids received a note from the mother of the bride "stating that we owe a substantial sum of money to help pay for the bridal shower."
The advice seeker went on to note that she's hardly surprised that the shower is "proving to be expensive," as the pre-wedding event has "ballooned in size and scope to rival some weddings I've attended in the past."
"But I had no input as to how big this shower has become, and being asked — no, told — to pay for it strikes me as inappropriate," she insisted, asking, "Am I wrong?"
The bridesmaid concluded her letter by acknowledging that she has "no idea how to respond" to the bride's mother's request for payment.
"How should I reply?" she asked Miss Manners.
In response, the columnist advised the bridesmaid — and the other women in the bridal party — to bow out of their roles in the wedding.
"All of you should respond by asking the bride's mother to give her daughter your love, along with your profound regrets that you are unable to serve as bridesmaids after all, having been unaware of the cost," she wrote.
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"Bridesmaids are supposedly chosen because they are the dearest people to the bride," Miss Manners then noted.
"Why, then, are they considered exploitable for both labor and money?" she asked, sharing her opinion that this particular situation "calls for a strike."
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