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Non-monogamous people just as happy as monogamous people, study finds

Non-monogamous people just as happy as monogamous people, study finds

Yahoo26-03-2025
Discussions of non-monogamy have boomed online in the past few years, as hookup apps like Feeld have made it easier for people to participate in "the lifestyle."
As with any subject on the internet, though, there's been backlash to the non-monogamy hype. While some are looking for alternate relationship styles, others are trying to be tradwives who idealize monogamy and marriage. Even Feeld pointed out that, in research with the Kinsey Institute, that young adults fantasize about monogamy these days.
SEE ALSO: How to get started with non-monogamy
According to new research, however, they may not need to: An analysis of 35 studies involving over 24,000 people worldwide found no significant differences between monogamous and non-monogamous people. The peer-reviewed study published in The Journal of Sex Research states that both groups report similar levels of satisfaction in their relationships and sex lives.
These satisfaction levels remained consistent across different demographics like LGBTQ and heterosexual people and differing non-monogamy types like open relationships and polyamory. (We explain the differences in our introduction to non-monogamy.)
"Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion, and trust than non-monogamous ones. This widespread belief — what we term as the 'monogamy-superiority myth' — is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives," lead author, associate professor Joel Anderson, a principal research fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sexuality, Health, and Society at La Trobe University, said in the press release.
"Our findings challenge this long-standing assumption outside of academia, providing further evidence that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships experience similar levels of satisfaction in their relationships and sex lives as those in monogamous ones," Anderson continued.
There were limitations to the study, however. They were all self-reported, so respondents could be swayed to respond a certain way to justify their life choices. Also, as the study relied on online sampling, that could've reduced its representativeness and generalizability, the press release stated.
Despite these limitations, alternative relationship structures are unlikely to go away soon — and the same goes for social media conversations about them.
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Good Samaritan stops fire from spreading in Prescott, Wisconsin boat explosion
Good Samaritan stops fire from spreading in Prescott, Wisconsin boat explosion

Yahoo

time5 days ago

  • Yahoo

Good Samaritan stops fire from spreading in Prescott, Wisconsin boat explosion

The Brief A boat explosion in Prescott, Wisconsin, sends multiple people to the hospital. A good Samaritan helped stop the fire from spreading to other boats and docks. The Wisconsin DNR is investigating. PRESCOTT, Wis. (FOX 9) - A boat explosion in Prescott, Wisconsin, left some people with burn injuries on Saturday afternoon. The Prescott Police Chief says they're not sure how the explosion started, but everyone is accounted for. Boat explosion in Prescott What we know The Prescott, Wisconsin Police Chief, Eric Michaels, says there are no fatalities that they know of. Authorities are not sure how many people were on board. But at the time of the explosion, there were many people ejected into the river, and some got off the boat. All the patients went to the hospital. One person who was boating described to FOX 9 what they saw when they heard a loud boom. "It was pretty traumatizing, especially seeing the people jump off the boat and swimming and screaming and hearing them scream, yeah, pretty traumatizing," said eyewitness Kaily Burns. Good Samaritan helps keep flames under control What they're saying Many of the eyewitnesses say there was a good Samaritan who helped keep the fire from spreading to other docks and other boats. His name is Colton Anderson. He saw the boat burning and jumped on his boat to spring into action. Eyewitnesses and Anderson tell us he got there before first responders. "Tied the boat up, trimmed her up, sprayed the boat, the burning boat, down with water, with the prop good rooster tail, diminished the flames enough, put the flames out on the dock. Was able to push the boat out from the dock, and the other boat that was getting ready to light on fire," said Anderson. Anderson tells FOX 9 that he kept the fire under control until first responders put it out. The Wisconsin DNR is investigating the boat explosion. Solve the daily Crossword

Are you (or your parents) thinking about downsizing? There's help for that.
Are you (or your parents) thinking about downsizing? There's help for that.

Boston Globe

time25-07-2025

  • Boston Globe

Are you (or your parents) thinking about downsizing? There's help for that.

Get Starting Point A guide through the most important stories of the morning, delivered Monday through Friday. Enter Email Sign Up According to the Pew Research Center, Americans in their 40s are the most likely to be sandwiched between their children and an aging parent. More than half in this age group (54 percent) have a living parent age 65 or older and are either raising a child younger than 18 or have an adult child they helped financially in the past year. Advertisement 'It often takes 30 to 40 hours to downsize a house on average, and adult children do not have that time,' Hammond says. 'I watched my mother work tirelessly driving up and down I-95 trying to help her mother move, and it's often unpaid work of women in families.' Advertisement Downsizable handles sorting, packing, junk removal — I'm flashing on a plaid couch in my parents' basement — donation coordination, unpacking, creating floor plans, and settling into the new space. Sign up for Parenting Unfiltered. Globe staff #mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */ Subscribe * indicates required E-mail * 'We also provide emotional support for people. We're finding really personal details out about people's lives. You're intimately involved with their possessions, in a way. We always joke, we wouldn't be on the second floor of each other's homes going through paperwork. We really get to know the person. And, for our clients, I think they really like having people to have company with, to talk to,' Anderson says. Here's their free advice for how to help your parents respectfully, gradually, and hopefully happily. Start small. Very small. If your parents mention moving, your first instinct might be to summon your favorite real estate agent and bookmark listings on Zillow. Deep breath. 'Timelines for downsizing do not follow timelines of a typical move. Usually, when someone says, 'I'm thinking of downsizing, but I'm not quite ready,' that means they're really considering it. They just don't want to be hounded by vendors or real estate developers. They want to come to a full decision on their own. But a lot of times that means they actually are ready for the first step,' Hammond says. This means decluttering a bedroom. Paring down a bathroom. Maybe getting your 1996 high school yearbook out of the basement. Baby steps. On that note: Take your own stuff out of your parents' house. Finally. 'There's not one client who doesn't have boxes for their adult children to go through. When you're visiting your parents, you should ask them: 'What's the stuff that you want me to have?'' Anderson says. Advertisement When a parent is finally ready to move, plan on one box of sentimental items per grown child, they say. Encourage your parents to tell people that they're downsizing. Think of this as a slow streamline. Friends and relatives could pop by to take things that they no longer have space for over an extended period, so it doesn't feel like a yard sale. Consider donation partners. 'Research donation partners in your area, and also your town and city trash rules. You might be able to put some things curbside, but a lot of things you cannot: air-conditioning units, mattresses, box springs. All of those require special pickup, and every town and city is different,' Hammond says. 'If you have 10 or more items, typically big donation partners like Big Brothers, Big Sisters will come to your home and get them, if it's worth their trip.' (Note: Donation partners will often charge a pickup fee.) Make peace with not making a profit on old furniture. A gigantic mahogany grandfather clock? A dining room table from the 1940s? Gorgeous, and likely sturdier than your kids' IKEA bunk bed, but not a money-making proposition. 'Our clients are from a generation where they spent a lot of money on their furniture, and their furniture lasted them for a long time. But the amount of money they spent on their furniture is not the value of the furniture now. We try to gently remind people: If you've spent $5,000 on a dining room table and you use that dining room table for 30 years, you've gotten the value out of it,' Anderson says. 'There's some really big brown furniture, and the resale value is quite low, or really you're paying people to remove it.' Advertisement Use special occasion items all the time. 'If you have beautiful items that you love, don't save them for special occasions. Being alive is a special enough occasion as it is. Celebrate; use the things you love. With so many clients, we are boxing up or donating items that have never even been opened,' Hammond says. This also goes for wine: The duo say they often end up trashing unused bottles before a move. If your parents can still safely drink, encourage them to have some friends over. 'Drink the wine that you have. So often people save it for special occasions. If your friends come over for a casual Friday night pizza dinner, pop open the good bottle of wine, the bottle of champagne. Enjoy that stuff, because at some point, Blair and I will be painstakingly dumping it down the drain,' Anderson says. Take your time. Especially with sentimental items, it's hard to know whether to keep them or to offload. 'That's why the process goes much slower than a typical move. We're hearing stories, and on some days the person is overwhelmed with emotion and memory. We say, 'We're going to set this aside and we're going to come back tomorrow, and we'll resume our work,'' Hammond says. Put piles aside. Revisit them. Your parents didn't accumulate a lifetime of sentimental objects in one day; don't force them to eliminate them in one day, either. Advertisement Avoid storage . Anderson and Hammond try to steer clients from expensive storage purgatory, because storing things indefinitely is really just a form of (costly) procrastination. 'We recommend that people do not put stuff in storage, because they never come out of storage. And what you're doing by putting them in storage is avoiding making a decision. It's just punting it for another day.' Their rule: Use storage for three months maximum, while transitioning to a new space. Beyond that, sell or donate. Plan early, before a fall or an illness forces the moving issue. 'This is personal to me: What I would wish people would talk about is making a plan of where they want to go next,' Anderson says. 'By not making a plan, you're inviting yourself to have to make a plan in some sort of emergent situation. The best clients that we've had — the most prepared ones — have said, 'I'm living in this house, then I'm going to sell the house. I'm going to move to a place of my own choosing, and I'm going to have full autonomy of the process. No one's going to tell me what to do.' And I think that those people are the most satisfied. They feel the most in control.' And last but not least, I love this (nonprofessional, but important!) tip from my friend Rachel, who recently moved her dad from his longtime home in the suburbs to her house closer to the city. 'Go out of your way to create celebrations and opportunities for friends and family to see them in their new space. A move can be isolating. When my dad moved in with us to a town that was 20 minutes away from his previous home, we set up a series of dinners and teas for friends to come see him. He was so proud to show his new space in his new garden — and it gave them a chance to visit with him and stay connected.' Advertisement Kara Baskin can be reached at

If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says
If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says

Yahoo

time22-07-2025

  • Yahoo

If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says

If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says originally appeared on Parade. Generally speaking, we try to stay away from "imposters," whether they're trying to manipulate us into handing over a bank account number or our heart (AKA a two-timing romantic partner). However, your inner critic may unfairly label you an imposter every time you pursue a goal. If you struggle to mute that internal monologue and start believing your critic has a point, you may have imposter syndrome."Imposter syndrome is the feeling or belief that we are not entitled to say something, do something, or be a particular way despite evidence to the contrary," explains Dr. Craig Kain, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist. "Clients express imposter syndrome when they tell me, 'I know I can do this—I am already doing it—but I still feel like a fake.'"Clearly, advice to "fake-it-'til-you-make-it" can only go so far, especially if you experience this imposter phenomenon. Dr. Kain warns that this self-deception can cause anxiety levels that become so paralyzing that you cannot find joy in your accomplishments and life. Working on your unspoken fears is useful. However, first, you need to recognize them. Here, Dr. Kain shares nine common, unspoken fears associated with imposter syndrome, as well as strategies for 9 Unspoken Fears in People Living With Imposter Syndrome, a Psychologist Says 1. Sounding ignorant Dr. Kain shares that people with this fear will often ask themselves, 'What if someone asks me something about a topic I don't know about and I have nothing to say?'"Because we falsely believe we should know everything about everything, we fear someone putting us on the spot," he warns. "This fear of humiliation is a very common one throughout people's lives."Related: 2. Revealing a working-class background Society often views wealth as something best measured in dollars and cents, which can make people with blue-collar roots feel especially self-conscious. For instance, Dr. Kain says that people may wonder whether they'll get judged for using the "wrong fork" at a lavish dinner party or wedding."This fear of social humiliation can be strong even after years of education and a solid white-collar career," he explains. "It can be extremely anxiety-provoking in situations where working-class people are stereotyped and looked down upon." 3. Pronouncing something incorrectly Dr. Kain notes that people with developmental differences are often prone to this unspoken fear of imposter syndrome."Because assisted technology is readily available and extremely useful, many of my clients have relied on audiobooks to get them through their education," he says. "They often go on to be highly successful despite struggling to read quickly or fluently. I have clients who have avoided jobs and careers because of the fear of being perceived as 'stupid' because they struggle reading aloud."Dr. Kain adds that people who aren't fluent in English or don't consider it their primary language are also at a higher risk of this one."If they have a strong need to blend in and not draw attention to themselves, if they have worked hard to eliminate an accent, the fear of 'giving themselves away' by mispronouncing a word can be extremely paralyzing," he 4. Difficult questions You've earned your way to expert status, yet you find yourself chronically asking yourself, "What if someone asks me a question I cannot answer? Won't they know I'm not the expert?" Dr. Kain experienced this one himself. When he started teaching, he wondered what would happen if a student asked him something he couldn't answer."I'm not really sure what caused my belief that I had to know everything about the topic I taught—perhaps it was because I was still under the naive impression my professors knew everything about their areas of expertise—but I worried I'd be seen as an imposter if I didn't," he says. "I'm slightly embarrassed to say it took me a while to realize students are perfectly fine waiting a week for an answer so that I could do some research." 5. Specific questions about your history The idea of answering questions you do know the answer to—such as about your education—may also trigger anxiety if you have imposter syndrome."This is common in people who come from working-class families or who didn't go to upper-tier schools," Dr. Kain says. "The idea that our family of origin's social status defines us as adults or that the school we went to somehow speaks to our intelligence later in life fuels this fear of humiliation and feelings of being an imposter."Related: 6. Having something to prove You may ask yourself, 'What if someone says, 'Prove it,' to me and I can't?' Dr. Kain notes that he often hears competitive athletes release this unspoken fear in therapy with him, especially when they're highly ranked due to stellar past performance."The fear that their success was due to luck and not hard work and skill can increase typical pre-game jitters to an unbearable intensity, all centered around an anticipated humiliation of being called a fake or imposter if they underperform," he may also experience this fear if you received high praise for a work presentation you gave to your company at an all-hands meeting and have since been tasked with speaking to the board of directors. 7. Sounding too intelligent or nerdy Having "smarts" is generally considered a positive trait. However, imposter syndrome has a funny way of turning it into a negative. Dr. Kain says people with this unspoken fear are typically scared that they'll say or do something that tips their friends off that they aren't that "cool." 'While they may, at times, feel like they belong, it is offset by feeling like they're an imposter," he adds that he primarily sees this fear in teens. However, it can strike people of any age and trigger emotional and psychological 8. Exposing a lack of experience People with imposter syndrome often live in fear that they'll say or do something that gets them tagged as "inexperienced.""This common manifestation of imposter syndrome often arises when we have recently mastered a new subject, task or skill, undermining our hard work and effort and discounting our accomplishments," Dr. Kain you have this unspoken fear, you might ask yourself, 'What if I don't know how to do something others think I'm supposed to know how to do?' 9. Forgetting everything during a presentation and performance Lights, what? People with imposter syndrome can experience stage fright long before the curtains go up."This version of the imposter syndrome capitalizes on catastrophic thinking and the notion that everyone in an audience would know and care if we messed up," Dr. Kain likes to remind clients that the audience is almost always rooting for them, not against them, and will understand if they lose their place."Most people in an audience are happy they are in their chair and not on stage presenting or performing," he 4 Tips for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome 1. Stop comparing They say comparison is the thief of joy. However, it's rocket fuel for imposter syndrome."So much of imposter syndrome is based on social comparison," Dr. Kain says. "We mentally paint a picture of how someone will react to us based on a limited amount of information we may have about them."He reminds clients that few people share their inner workings—including any unspoken fears of imposter syndrome they have."Having worked as a therapist for many years, I can assure you that most people do not have it nearly as together on the inside as they may want you to think," he explains. "Hardly anybody has it all figured out, and nearly nobody feels confident all the time."Related: 2. Remember that even experts make mistakes This tip is handy if you're afraid to say or do something that gets you labeled as inexperienced or if you don't know the answer to a question."Imposter syndrome lives in the fear of being 'found out, 'slipping up' and making mistakes," Dr. Kain shares. "It is helpful to remember that making a mistake does not make you an imposter. It simply makes you a human being." 3. Talk to someone Transform your unspoken imposter syndrome fear by saying it out loud. Dr. Kain says you may be surprised by what you hear in return."Let someone else know you feel like an imposter," he suggests. "It's rare to find someone who can honestly say they never felt that way themselves. If you do find someone who tells you they have never experienced imposter syndrome, there is a high likelihood they've accomplished this by avoiding challenging situations."Related: 4. Work on actual gaps No one is perfect. If the voice in your head has a point, there's no shame in working on a gap in knowledge or experience. In fact, it's a sign of maturity and can lead to growth."If you find that you truly are lacking in some area, figure out a way to make up the missing skills, information or experiences," Dr. Kain says. "Do what you can to be more comfortable in your own skin."Sign up for a course, volunteer your time, find a mentor—you and those around you will benefit from your humility and grit. Up Next:Source: Dr. Craig Kain, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says first appeared on Parade on Jul 22, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 22, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword

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