'She was a lady' - Ray D'Arcy battles back tears at his beloved mum's funeral
Speaking at her Funeral Mass on Wednesday, an emotional Ray fought back tears as he told mourners at St Brigid's Parish Church in Kildare Town that his mother was given 'weeks to live'.
Addressing mourners, the RTE star said: 'She had some trouble over the last 18 months with her health, nothing life threatening, we thought.
'And then about six weeks ago, we got the diagnosis of an aggressive form of cancer. The doctor said, weeks then last Wednesday, they said it was going to be short days, and she didn't suffer much.
'It was funny, the staff in Naas had the measure of mammy. One of the ward nurses, Mary was her name too, actually, she said to me, 'your mother strikes me as someone who wouldn't complain.'
'She wouldn't be asking for pain relief, she said. And then Linda, another nurse, she was a palliative care nurse. She had the official name for our mother. She said, 'Your mother is an under reporter, an under reporter'. That was ma. A slight woman with a huge heart.'
Ray described his mother as a 'lady' who would put every Minister for Finance to shame as she raised nine children in a house with 'very little money'. Ray D'Arcy and his wife Jenny pictured this morning at the funeral of his mother, Mary D'Arcy. (Image: Colin Keegan, Collins Dublin) Mourners follow the hearse from the funeral home. (Image: Colin Keegan, Collins Dublin)
'Nine children in 16 years, a lot of children, but not a lot of money. It could have broken her, you know, and probably nearly did at times, but our mother was made of strong, strong stuff.
'Her ability to manage a household budget on a meagre income would put many a Minister for Finance to shame.
'We never wanted for anything. Actually, I really don't know how she did it. I'm in awe of how she got through it. Imagine at one stage, nine of us in that little council cottage, Joan, a baby, Joe doing his Leaving Cert.
'I remember actually when mammy was pregnant with Joan, our father arrived home from the pub one night. When he went into the kitchen, mam was in tears over the sink, doing the washing up, and she complained to him that none of us were pulling our weight.
'So he returned to the sitting room. We were all in there, maybe watching The Old Grey Whistle Test or something, and he proceeded to read us the riot act. 'Your mother needs your help,' he said, 'It's not my fault your mother's pregnant,' he said.
'And if you didn't laugh, you'd cry. We all turned out reasonably okay.'
Ray told how his mother was 'kind, tolerant and forgiving' who was a devout Catholic that was 'unsettled' when the church scandals emerged in recent years.
'Our mother flourished as we became independent of her…our mother was a calming presence everywhere she went. She was active all over the place. I don't know how she did it. Mary D'Arcy's remains arrive at the church. (Image: collinsphotos.com) Ray D'Arcy and other family members carry his mother's remains. (Image: Colin Keegan, Collins Dublin)
'She was a member of the Community Council. She was on school management boards. She was an integral part of the local history group. She led the choir here in St Brigid's church for years.
'She was a devout Catholic. The scandals really unsettled my mother, but she had a great relationship with her God. We joked, actually, over the last few days, that she's been fast tracked to heaven, the full VIP treatment, complimentary chocolates on arrival.
'Our mother, slight of stature, but big of heart was a truly good person. She was kind, she was tolerant, she was forgiving, she was a great listener, and she gave sage advice.
'She had a great memory. She never forgot a birthday of her nine children, 16 grandchildren and two great grandchildren.
'The arrival in the post of the package or card with her beautifully neat handwriting was a constant in all our lives, as was her beautiful, warm smile…a smile that was full of mother's love.'
Ray also recalled the time his mother interviewed Pogues singer Shane MacGowan at her kitchen table live on the radio.
'The pioneer in conversation with the Pogues lead singer, very much not a pioneer, that shouldn't have worked at all.
'And for the first five minutes or so, it was awkward and stopped, starting. I'm sure the listeners probably felt uncomfortable.
'But then our mother, she was a huge fan of Shane McGowan. She appreciated his genius, and she'd read his biography, and then she said to him, after about five minutes, and of course, Shane, you were in the Nipple Erectors. Shane laughed that raspy laugh, and that was that they got on famously a mutual admiration society of sorts.'
He said Mary 'travelled a lot in later life, she loved a good sitcom, always a good musical as well. She loved the movies, and up until a couple of years ago, she went up to Dublin every Wednesday to meet Angela or Alison to go to the cinema.'
'She was vibrant, very much young at heart. She had a beautiful energy. She was a lady. She was intelligent and insightful. She was a wonderful mother, and we were very lucky to have her.
He added that just before she died last Friday morning, his sister Anne told her how much her family loved her.
'And I imagine if my mother could have talked on Friday morning, she would have said, I love you all too, equally and unconditionally.
'Our mother, Mary Darcy, was a truly amazing person, and we missed her terribly.'
Symbols to the altar included hymnal 'representing mammy's devotion to and love of hymns in general', a copy of the Jesuit magazine 'The Messenger'.
'Our mother literally spread the word of God for 36 years, as she delivered The Messenger every month for 36 years.'
A book of crosswords was also brought to the altar.
Father Adrian Carbery told the congregation Mary was a 'lady'.
He said: 'We have to say that Mary was a remarkable woman. She had a huge impact on the whole community. She lived a long life, and she lived it to the full.
'She really made a profound impact on Kildare through her involvement in so many activities around the place and her commitment to the Historical Society, her love for the drama, her weekly distributing newsletters from the parish, The Messenger magazine for years and years and years, which I think was a legacy from Sister Annunziata, she continued it on right to the very end.
'She had a great love for people,' he added.
Mary was buried after her Funeral Mass in St. Conleth's Cemetery in Kildare Town.
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