Cole Palmer conquers the world with a ‘so what' shrug

The Guardian

14-07-2025

Not far from Football Daily Towers, nestled away on a quiet London street just around the corner from both the old Highbury and the new-ish Emirates Stadium, there once stood an Irish pub. It was a good one, named the Auld Triangle. It wasn't a 'beautiful' place by any traditional yardstick, but still had original wood panelling dating back to its Victorian inception. It wasn't particularly busy, apart from Arsenal matchdays, but its steady flow of regulars and opportunists convinced by its pretty exterior to step inside still created an atmosphere. It didn't do food, but a friendly, monosyllabic man behind the bar would allow you to bring whatever takeaway grub you wanted into the pub, so long as you were drinking his fare. As recently as 2021, the Auld Triangle had Sky Sports, BT Sports, screen dedicated to GAA and horse racing, daily newspapers splayed out over a table in the corner and as recently as 2021, sold pints for less than a fiver. It never shouted, never made any TimeOut lists or went viral but it was, in many ways, the perfect pub and a 10/10 experience on almost every occasion.
The Auld Triangle is now a trendy gastropub named the Plimsoll. Admittedly, it is a very good gastropub, with those smoky interiors still intact. The smash burger there, 'The Dexter', is famous and means the place has been reviewed by almost everyone worth their salt, including Big Website and Grace Dent, who gave it an excellent write up. The Plimsoll is achingly hip but the thing is – and Dent and co won't know this – it is definitely an inferior place to the Auld Triangle, with Guinness that takes an age to fetch from the busy and understaffed bar, full of patrons who are absolutely desperate to split the G. The point to this indulgent and rather overwritten intro is that things don't have to be showy to be the best. Cole Palmer is the embodiment of that, somehow both elite and low-key, the sort of man who looks like he came into this world shrugging his shoulders, as if to say, 'so what'. There is no image or branding just an understated man who is both an awkward customer and one of the best footballers on the planet.
Prior to his match-winning two goals and one assist against PSG, Palmer started the Copa Gianni final weekend by solo scooting through New York City in a hoodie, trying to keep a low-profile in rolling through a packed Times Square like he was still a teenager on Wythenshawe high street and, after putting in another player-of-the-match performance against PSG, finished the weekend by attempting to elbow the president of the USA USA USA out of the way during Chelsea's trophy presentation. In a moment of unassuming comic timing, Palmer appears to mouth 'What's he doing?!' as Donald Trump refuses to get off the stage, obscuring Palmer from view as Reece James hoists the trophy aloft. 'I was a bit confused, yeah,' sighed Palmer afterwards.
Low-key off the pitch, then, and low profile on it, as PSG consistently struggled to identify just where Palmer had got to during the final. Against a team famous for their pressing, Palmer found space time and again, and was typically modest in crediting Enzo Maresca for Chelsea's success. 'The gaffer put a great gameplan out,' Palmer said. 'He knew where the space was going to be. He tried to free me up as much as possible and I just had to repay him and score some goals.' Two identical no-fuss finishes put Chelsea 2-0 up, with Palmer beating the best goalkeeper in the world, Gianluigi Donnarumma, with a side-footed finish from 20 yards like it was the easiest thing in the world. No stepovers, no flicks, no tricks. And so, at a football tournament that felt very much like an expensive gastropub, here's to Cole Palmer, here's to understatement. Football Daily is sure he would have loved the stripped-back, world-class basics of the Auld Triangle, not making smalltalk with the man behind the bar, eating his Chinese takeaway and Chippy Chips with his reasonably priced drink.
What was presented as a global celebration of football was nothing more than a fiction created by Fifa, promoted by its president, without dialogue, sensitivity, and respect for those who sustain the game with their daily efforts. A grandiloquent staging inevitably reminiscent of the 'bread and circuses' of Nero's Rome, entertainment for the masses while behind the scenes inequality, precariousness, and the lack of protection for the true protagonists deepen' – Fifpro president, Sergio Marchi, sharpens his studs and takes a two-footed leap at Gianni Infantino.
I read Arsène Wenger's comments about the Club World Cup with a mixture of laughter and increasing incredulity. As a Spurs fan of 78 years and counting I was well accustomed to his poor eyesight at red card incidents and your quoted 'dubious decisions' but this latest effort takes the biscuit. To think that he is trousering a considerable amount of money as Fifa's so called director of world football development merely confirms my opinion of the [snip]show that is Fifa' – Stewart McGuinness.
Well I, for one, am glad of the Copa Gianni. I have managed to prove to myself (if no one else) that I am not obsessed with football and there are some tournaments even I would not stoop to watch' – Alex Folkes.
Looked at livesoccertv.com for friendlies on Saturday. There are THREE HUNDRED of them. That's 600 different teams named on the list, mostly European. Amazing!' – Jim Geissman.
'At the same time, there is now a penumbra of leagues outside the elite'. Penumbra! Never change Jonathan Wilson, never change …' Noble Francis.
Send letters to [e-mail]. Today's prizeless letter o' the day winner is … Stewart McGuinness. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
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