Inspirational Helensburgh man tells how honest conversations around MS took 'enormous weight off'
A family man has told how having honest conversations about his disability has helped him explain to the people in his life when NOT to help him.
Paul McGaw, 47, was diagnosed with relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) in 2007.
This MS Awareness Week (April 28 to May 4), Paul is supporting a new national charity campaign, MS Conversations. Spearheaded by a collaboration of the UK's MS charities - MS Society, MS Trust, MS Together, MS-UK, the Neuro Therapy Network, Shift.ms, Overcoming MS, and Talks with MS – the campaign aims to encourage people to start conversations about their multiple sclerosis (MS).
More than 17,000 people in Scotland, and more than 150,000 people in the whole of the UK, live with MS.
It's a condition that affects nerves in the brain and spinal cord and impacts how people move, think and feel.
Symptoms are different for everyone and are often invisible. But one thing everyone with MS has in common is that they'll all have conversations about their condition, whether they're explaining it to family members or friends, asking an employer or medical professional for support, or opening up to a new partner.
Those conversations won't always be easy.
That's why the eight charities will be working with members of the MS community throughout MS Awareness Week and sharing resources, tips and real life stories to help make those conversations easier.
Paul, who's married and enjoys close relationships with family members and friends, said he's always spoken openly about his MS.
He believes being upfront about his condition helps to remove pressure and awkwardness from certain situations.
And it's also allowed him to explain to those close to him that sometimes when he appears to be struggling he'd rather they didn't try to help.
Paul, of Helensburgh, explained: 'I stumble and fall a lot more these days. I've got two walking poles but I only use them when I really need to because I don't want to become over-reliant on them. It's difficult to explain but I've really got to think hard to make sure I'm balanced.
'When I'm with someone and I start to lose my balance, they often try to catch me or stop me falling, but that can actually make the situation worse. So I've had to have conversations with people in my life and ask them not to do that and to just give me a bit of time to try to regain my balance.
'A while ago I went to Auschwitz in Poland with my dad, because I'm interested in history. I didn't have any walking aids back then so I was really struggling and my dad wanted to help me.
'I explained to him that I don't know which way I'm going to fall and if someone tries to grab hold of me I'm going to end up jerking away and that'll probably lead to more risk of me falling.
'So don't try to grab hold of me, just let me stumble my way through it.
'I've said to my wife, listen Colette, I love you to bits, but see when I'm like this, I don't know if I'm going to fall left, right, forward, back. Just give me that 30 seconds to try to find somewhere to lean so I can get my balance back a little bit.
'I've had those conversations with my pals as well. I talk to my best pals about my MS, and share a wee bit with them, because they're basically family. Although I do sometimes make jokes about it.
'I said listen guys, with all the best will in the world, don't try and grab hold of me. I'm actually working really hard to try and get my balance. If you try to pull me back I'll probably pull the other way or something, I don't know. I honestly don't know how my body is going to react.
'It's a difficult one to try to convey to people who are just trying to help. And I know it sounds a bit selfish in many ways – telling my dad or my wife to let me fall on the ground.
'It took a while for people to accept it, and to realise that I'm not doing it to be all 'look at me' or 'woe is me'. No, it's because I'm trying to keep as much self-respect, dignity, and independence as I can.'
The eight charities are encouraging everyone affected by MS to get involved on social media throughout MS Awareness Week by using the hashtag #MSConversations to share their most memorable MS interactions.
When asked what advice he'd give to people struggling to have conversations about their MS, Paul added: 'You don't have to have conversations about your MS with every single person; have them with people you trust.
'Maybe your close family and friends. If someone doesn't want to hear about your MS then they're not really your pal so don't waste any energy on them.
'For me, talking openly about my MS has taken an enormous weight off my shoulders. Just try to be open and honest and that way, all the worry of 'oh god, are they going to know I've got this' and 'how are they going to react when I tell them that' – all that will be lifted right off you straight off the bat because you've been upfront and it's out there.'
Jo Anderson, Director for Scotland at the MS Society, said: 'Talking openly about MS is vital for increasing awareness, breaking down stigma, and ensuring everyone can access the support they're entitled to. But starting those conversations can be hard.
'This MS Awareness Week we're pleased to once again be partnering with other leading MS charities across the UK, this time shining a spotlight on MS Conversations.
'Encouraging conversations about MS is at the heart of everything we do year-round at MS Society Scotland, from inviting people to contact our free MS Helpline, to supporting local groups to bring people together, and promoting volunteers' stories.
'This week we're taking that one step further and sharing tools and advice to help more people have conversations about their MS.
'We'd like to say a huge thank you to Paul and everyone else who's shared their experiences so far. There's still time to join in using #MSConversations on social media.'
Join the conversation and find support by searching #MSConversations on social media. Follow MS Society Scotland's MS Awareness Week coverage on Facebook (MS Society Scotland), Instagram (@mssocietyscot) and X (@mssocietyscot).
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Metro
5 days ago
- Metro
My GP laughed when I reported feeling like a ghost touched me
The GP looked over his glasses, smirked, and then started to laugh. 'We may need to name a special little syndrome for you,' he said. It was 2010 and I was once again trying to get someone to pay attention to my symptoms. By this point, I'd spent years trying to convince myself that the feeling that no one believed me was paranoia. Yet I still went home, laughter ringing in my ears, and internalised it. Obviously this was my fault. I was hysterical, a hypochondriac, a time waster. But I knew my symptoms were real. It started in 2001. I was 30, freshly liberated from a relationship and had started a new job. Frankly, I was exhausted. That's no exaggeration, I felt hammered by fatigue and was living on caffeine and adrenaline, constantly collapsing on the sofa once home from work. And then the ghostly symptoms started. Weird from the outset, even supernatural at times, it felt like someone was grabbing my left wrist and ankle. Sometimes I had numb patches, the feeling of a feather tickling my face, or ants on my skin. I limped sometimes but not others. I felt ridiculous saying it out loud. It was like I needed an exorcist rather than a doctor. Still, I was dispatched to a neurologist who conducted a raft of tests, sending me for an MRI scan of my head. He then suggested that this could be multiple sclerosis (MS) – a chronic disease that affects the central nervous system – which sent my stomach lurching. As a hospital-based nurse, my experience of MS was seeing patients who had an advanced version of the disease. Normally they were confined to beds or wheelchairs – I didn't understand then that the disease can present in many different ways. However, an MRI (which is typically used to see if there is damage to the nerves in your brain or spinal cord), came back clear and I was discharged with no suggestions about what might be happening. I self-diagnosed a stress reaction, which made sense. But the symptoms persisted on and off for months, in fact, years. For the next 19 years my health waxed and waned. I had a merry-go-round of seeing GPs, neurologists, being scanned repeatedly and always told that there was nothing wrong with me. Sometimes, if I saw someone new, doctors looked at me like I was being ridiculous when I told them my symptoms. Or, like on that one occasion in 2010, I was actually laughed out of the GP surgery. One time, I went temporarily blind in my left eye and was told it was likely to be MS. But I was once again dismissed when the brain scan was clear. Even after I received a clinic letter saying that the consultant was 'utterly convinced' that I had MS, a further brain scan led to the same punchline. I felt isolated and frustrated, as did my partner. While he was as patient and supportive as he could be, he didn't understand why I was having these symptoms – always tired, always cancelling things – and neither did I. A family member once suggested that the obvious answer was that it was 'all in my head'. Funnily enough, in a way, they were right. In 2020 I had a relapse – where new symptoms arrive or old ones get worse – that was so catastrophic it left me with a numb left side, limping, falling asleep in unexpected places and feeling constantly queasy until eventually I landed in casualty. Another MRI scan (I'd lost count of the number I'd had by then) was ordered, only this time, it showed that my brain was peppered with scarring where MS had damaged my brain and spine. In all likelihood, I'd had MS this whole time but the scarring before this major attack had always been minor and therefore didn't show up on tests. Now though, the damage was pronounced and dramatic making it impossible to miss. Finally I had the diagnosis I'd been searching for, for 19 years. You'd think, after all that time I'd be ready for it. Yet, in spite of the multiple times I'd been told I might have MS, it came as a huge shock and left me feeling unmoored and afraid for the future. Oddly, I also felt relieved and validated. Everything made sense. I saw a psychologist to help me adjust, a specialist nurse to talk through treatments, and a dedicated MS consultant. They were all empathetic about the delay to diagnosis and offered me help to find ways to stay in work. With their recognition and support, I carried on working as a palliative care specialist nurse for another three years – though I did eventually have to retire on health grounds due to severe fatigue (a common MS symptom). Sadly, as I well knew, there is no cure for MS. But I'm now on monthly injections to try to stop it damaging my nervous system further. Even then though, I still have constant nerve pain, chronic fatigue, and areas of numbness. My life has irrevocably changed since the diagnosis. Where I used to go to the theatre twice a week or spend hours walking my dog around London, I now spend much more time at home. Luckily, I've found pleasure in reading and watching films. On the days when my symptoms are less, I embrace them wholeheartedly, making the most of that time to do things I otherwise can't now. As a result, we are planning on swapping the hectic whirl of the capital for a slower pace of life on the South Coast. Mainly, I wish there hadn't been 19 years of the merry go round of 'does he/doesn't he' have MS. Having a diagnosis wouldn't have changed what medical treatment I had because the MS wasn't bad enough then to need medication, but it would have helped me feel validated. Chris Bridge's latest book Sick To Death came out on 27 March. Order your copy here. Maybe then I wouldn't have spent almost two decades feeling like I was being dismissed and labelled as being hysterical or making it all up. Perhaps I wouldn't have been left to cope alone each time the MRI scans were clear. Whether the scans were or weren't showing MS, I was struggling and deserved support and understanding. I know my story is not the only one like this: Many people frequently have neurological symptoms without a diagnosis and are often dismissed. But people with functional symptoms (symptoms with no obvious physical cause) need and deserve as much help as anyone else – we just don't always get it. I'd like to see that change. More Trending In the meantime, I've channelled my anger and frustration into writing. I've always written and am a crime fiction fan so decided to write about a woman with neurological issues and the chaos that ensues when she's drawn into a murder plot. This lead character is discredited, disrespected and coping alone. Sound familiar? Mainly, the catharsis from expressing my feeling of alienation, fear and rage on the page has been intense, but finally my 'special little syndrome' has found a home on paper and I feel seen. View More » This article was originally published March 25, 2025 Do you have a story you'd like to share? Get in touch by emailing Share your views in the comments below. MORE: I had sex with a man I loathed – and it was incredible MORE: I was punished for not telling my boss about my disability MORE: 'I was 17 when I had my first day of school' Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.
Scottish Sun
7 days ago
- Scottish Sun
I went to bed feeling fine but woke up paralysed – doctors blamed it on constipation but the truth was horrifying
Find out everything you need to know about Adam's condition below SHATTERING DIAGNOSIS I went to bed feeling fine but woke up paralysed – doctors blamed it on constipation but the truth was horrifying AS a parent with a full-time job and a busy social life playing football and seeing friends, Adam Dawer always had somewhere to be. But when he went to bed feeling perfectly well one night and woke up unable to stand, it was the start of a nightmare which would lead to a shattering diagnosis for the busy father of five. Advertisement 5 Adam Dawer was a busy dad of five and always had somewhere to be Credit: Cover Images 5 Then his life turned upside down when he began experiencing vomiting and visual disturbances - 18 months later he was diagnosed with MS Credit: Cover Images Adam, 47, began experiencing vomiting and visual disturbances and initially thought he might have caught a bug. But his symptoms didn't subside and continued for weeks. Unable to stand up without being sick and increasingly concerned, he decided it was time to seek medical help. 'I was starting to worry it was cancer as cancer is a thing that has taken half of my family,' Adam, from Giffnock, East Renfrewshire, said. Advertisement 'But no-one could give me an answer, no matter where I went. I went to the GP first and I was told 'it could be this, it could be that'. 'The only one I really remember is 'you might be heavily constipated'. When he said that, I couldn't believe it. I said to my wife Sharon 'we need to go somewhere else'.' It took Adam 18 months to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) and, surprisingly, he felt relieved. 'When the doctor said to me, 'It sounds to me like multiple sclerosis,' I said, 'Thank God!'' Adam recalled. Advertisement 'And he said 'You do know what MS is?' And I said 'yeah, but it's not cancer.' "We were at a different hospital and the minute we walked in there, it was as if somebody flicked a switch. From that moment on, life just got better. Regardless that I've got MS, at least I know what I'm dealing with. Girl paralysed after giant critter feasted on her scalp 'I felt a big relief because I was thinking it was something that was going to kill me.' Adam began to research the condition and decided to learn as much as he could. Advertisement In denial MS is an often disabling disease that affects the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord). He admits for the first two to three years he was in denial and believed that his life didn't need to change. For the first few years he had Relapsing Remitting MS (RRMS) and he had several disease-modifying drugs to help slow down the progression of the illness. 'Some worked and some didn't,' he said. Advertisement 'Many of the treatments have side effects that make you feel even worse on top of already being ill. 'Now I have Secondary Progressive MS (SPMS), which means I have moved onto the next stage, unfortunately. But I take medication and hopefully this will slow down the progression.' If I have to go to the kitchen, it might take me five minutes – but I'm OK with that Adam Dawer Adam had to give up his job as a graphic designer and accept a slower pace of life. "If I have to go to the kitchen, it might take me five minutes – but I'm OK with that,' he said. Advertisement 'The main thing is: I'm still alive, I'm still breathing, so all is good. 'My wife is now my full time carer and I'm extremely lucky that she helps me get out and about. 'I still drive on occasion, it's the only thing that makes me feel normal like everyone else but mostly Sharon does it now.' Sharon helps Adam with all the practicalities of MS, such as preparing his scooter, wheelchair or rollator and sorting routes, finding out where is accessible or where might have dodgy pavements. Advertisement 'She deals with all of that so I don't need to because I can't anymore,' Adam added. 'I wouldn't leave the house, the anxiety of all of that on top of being ill would be crippling. 'In short, she just lets me concentrate on the MS itself.' 'It's not a one-size-fits-all thing with MS' More than 150,000 people in the UK live with MS and many of them are unable to leave their house without help. Advertisement According to research by The MS Trust, 94 per cent of patients said their condition has affected their mental health with 60 per cent experiencing low self esteem. Half of MS patients report feelings of isolation and loneliness. Adam wants people to be aware that MS can present very differently in each person. 'There's not a set pattern to it,' he said. Advertisement 'There could be a guy with MS who runs marathons and there could be someone in a wheelchair. It's not a one-size-fits-all thing.' 5 Adam had to give up his job as a graphic designer and accept a slower pace of life Credit: Cover Images 5 His wife Sharon is now his full time carer Credit: Cover Images 5 Despite his diagnosis Adam is happy about life and makes sure he's still present for his five children Credit: Cover Images Advertisement He is positive about his life and happy he's been able to be an active and present dad for his five children. 'When MS announced itself into my life, the youngest was five,' he said. 'I'm glad that my kids were of an age that my declining health wasn't going to impact them so much. They weren't going to grow up seeing dad be heavily disabled. 'I got to be a proper parent. I really didn't want MS to rob me of being a parent or to rob my kids of having a dad who was there. 'By the grace of God, it worked out and they're all doing their own things now. The youngest will be 20 this year. The oldest is in another country. Advertisement 'I honestly haven't been happier and mentally clearer in my life. I just had this mental clarity one day: everything's going to be OK. 'It was like a massive weight came off me. I really can't explain it. It kind of is a spiritual experience - I think having MS has been like a superpower – for my mind, the way I think. 'Everyone's got problems. But when a problem comes up for me, I think, 'Is anybody going to die? No? Then there's no problem. We can fix it.''
The Courier
24-06-2025
- The Courier
Eljamel inquiry's lead solicitor quits before hearings begin
The lead solicitor for the public inquiry into disgraced NHS Tayside neurosurgeon Sam Eljamel has quit her role. Bosses confirmed to patients that Ciara Pang had exited her post even though hearings for the probe have not yet formally begun. It's understood Lord Weir, who is chairing the inquiry, had been aware well in advance Ms Pang was leaving and the search for her replacement is under way. In an email to Eljamel's patients, assistant solicitor Lynn Carey said: 'Our current solicitor, Ciara Pang, who has been your main point of contact until now, is moving on from the inquiry. 'The inquiry is in the process of filling this key post. 'We will notify you as soon as possible to provide details of who has been appointed as our new solicitor to the inquiry. 'The inquiry wishes to reassure you that the work of the inquiry continues in the meantime.' Ms Carey said he would act as the main point of contact for any patients who had legal queries in the meantime. Ms Pang previously worked as deputy solicitor for the inquiry into the circumstances of Sheku Bayou's death in police custody in Kirkcaldy. Last October, Lord Weir said Ms Pang's 'in-depth experience' had already been 'invaluable' to him. 'I have no doubt that she will contribute greatly to the effective functioning of this Inquiry and the many legal issues to which it will inevitably give rise,' he added. Sources stressed it is not unusual for some staff working on a public inquiry team to leave their roles while the process remains ongoing. But Jules Rose, a Kinross campaigner harmed by Eljamel, said she has concerns over Ms Pang's departure. 'It's deeply concerning to learn that such an influential figure has stepped away from the inquiry at this critical stage,' she said. 'Once again, we're back on the merry-go-round. 'We need clear assurances this won't derail the progress of a much-needed inquiry. 'Yet again, there are more questions than answers.' The Eljamel inquiry was ordered by the Scottish Government after extensive demands from campaigners in September 2023. The rogue doctor harmed hundreds of patients while he was employed by NHS Tayside between 1995 and 2013. In April, we revealed Dundee DJ Pat Kelly – another Eljamel victim – was boycotting the inquiry because he fears key institutions will not be interrogated. Jamie Dawson KC, the top lawyer who grilled Nicola Sturgeon during the Covid inquiry, is the investigation's senior counsel. A spokesperson for the Eljamel inquiry said: 'The Eljamel inquiry is in the process of filling the post of Solicitor to the Inquiry, and expects to do so in early course. 'Once appointed, we will provide an update to stakeholders. 'The inquiry is continuing to gather evidence and work towards hearings. 'Lord Weir has thanked Ciara for her contribution.'
