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Yahoo
27 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Woman Gets the ‘Ick' from Rent-Free Boyfriend Who Refuses to Split Grocery Costs Fairly
NEED TO KNOW A 30-year-old woman shares that her 34-year-old boyfriend is about to move into her apartment, which she owns Since he won't be paying rent, he agreed to cover building maintenance, utilities, and the annual property taxes She asked him to pay more for groceries but he refusedA couple in their 30s is at odds over how to fairly divide their living expenses. The woman explains on Reddit that her boyfriend is moving into her apartment, which she owns, so he won't have to pay rent. Instead, he agreed to cover the building maintenance, utilities such as Wifi and electricity and the annual property taxes, which are around $500 per year. The woman told him that she would cover the cost of all "cat-related expenses," since she has three cats while her boyfriend only has one. Once they got to the conversation around groceries, that's when things "started spiraling." "I told him I thought it made sense for it to be a 70/30 split—he pays more. He asked, 'Who's the 70?' I said, You.' He was like, 'Why not 50/50?' I said, 'Because you eat three times more than I do,'" she recalls. "He didn't love that answer and started pulling the 'partnerships should be 50/50' card. I told him 60/40 was the lowest I'd go," she adds. While they initially dropped it, the man "started making snarky comments like: 'Honestly, I only eat dinner here anyway... do youre only going to be paying for cat stuff?' " His behavior gave her the "ick." "You're living here RENT-FREE, in a clean, comfy, fully-furnished home I maintain myself. I'm here most of the time, so the space is always stocked, cleaned, cozy, and I'm offering all of that to you with love," the woman explains. She then went on to say that she likes "a man who provides," or "at least contributes more when he's stepping into my space." While he makes "a bit more" money than the poster, she noted that it's not a "huge gap," so she doesn't "expect full-provider status." "Now I can't stop wondering if I'm signing up to live with a roommate or a boyfriend. The vibe has shifted. And I kind of hate that it did," she ended, asking Reddit if she is in the wrong. People in the comments of the post told the woman she was being more than fair with her expectations, with many agreeing that the man could contribute more. "Better question is, why is she letting him move in without paying his share on everything? Including rent," one person commented. "If the argument is for fairness, then full fairness should apply across the board. You can't push for a 50/50 grocery split while ignoring the massive financial benefit of living rent-free. True equity means accounting for the whole picture, not just the convenient parts," another person added. Read the original article on People
Yahoo
38 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Raising 4 kids can be hectic. Our household couldn't function without our weekly family meetings.
Keeping track of family activities and appointments is a big task when you have four kids. Frustrated with my family's disorganization, I implemented weekly family meetings. We go over schedules, determine rides, dole out allowances, and more at these hourlong meetings. A few months ago, I was standing in the kitchen talking to one of my kids. Within 90 seconds, my other three kids and husband meandered in and started asking me more questions. All at once, I had five voices hurling questions and requests at me. One wanted a ride to an extracurricular activity. Another asked when their dentist appointment was. Someone else was hungry. I'd had enough. We were all fed up with communication issues, last-minute requests and reminders, and overall disorganization. That's when it dawned on me that we needed to have a sit-down, weekly family meeting. For some, I'm sure this sounds too formal and constricting. However, before our weekly family meetings, we were always scrambling and rushing to get someone where they needed to be with everything they needed, like sports gear or snacks. Now, those stresses don't exist. It has been a life-altering change for us. These days, we meet every Saturday for about an hour (or as long as it takes) to discuss schedules, plans, requests, chores, and anything else that needs addressing. Here's what we prioritize at our meetings. Syncing schedules is our main goal The No. 1 reason we started having family meetings was to discuss our plans for the coming week. Each family member has an electronic or paper planner that they bring to the meeting. When we gather, each family member takes time to share what they have on tap for the upcoming week. This includes appointments, sports practices, games, meetings, and any social events that occur outside of school or working hours. Each person is responsible for recording what's shared to their own planner to prevent any "I didn't know that was happening today!" moments. My husband and I are also able to determine right then and there who's-taking-whom-where-and-when, as everyone presents their activities. This is also a time to make special requests We have two teens, a preteen, and a fourth kiddo who is almost a tween. When we have our family meeting, they each get a turn to share what they need for the upcoming week and ask permission for anything else they'd like to do, such as attend a social event, like a swimming party or movie night. When we negotiate rides, we also agree on pickup and drop-off times. Sometimes they use this time to request that we grab a certain snack from the grocery store for them to share with friends, or if they need more of a particular school supply. We're then able to immediately add that item, virtually, to our online shopping cart so we don't forget about it. This is when our kids get their allowance Once a month, at our family meeting, we give the kids their allowance. We usually do this at our first meeting of the month, and it is up to them to make sure the money lasts the next few weeks. This time also allows us to address any questions or requests they have at that moment, such as asking what they're responsible for paying versus us. They also might"pay up" for anything they owe another person, such as when a sibling loans them money or when someone might take on someone else's chores in exchange for a few dollars. We also have check-ins and make announcements At our meeting, each person also gets time to share how they are doing, what they are looking forward to, and what they need help with. For my kids, this often means talking about academics, such as any areas of struggle that may require some tutoring support. Each can also share any announcements they have that pertain to the group. I shared my new teaching job with my kids at our last meeting. The meetings have taught my kids how to negotiate Our meetings often operate as a "suggestion box" for our crew. For example, we recently brought home a new dog, and we were struggling to name him. We passed around a paper at this meeting, allowing each person to write down the top three dog names they wanted considered. (I am sad to report that we have yet to name the dog, but we are trying!) This is also the time when the kids may bring up a struggle they're having within the household, which often has to do with chores or rules. We are able to discuss these issues as a family and make adjustments as needed. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
38 minutes ago
- Yahoo
I'm an empty nester at 40 after having 3 kids earlier in life. I have the energy to pursue new things while my friends are chasing toddlers.
At 40, I'm an empty nester. I had all three of my kids by 21. Being a young parent was tough, but I wouldn't change a thing. Now, I have the energy to pursue new interests and travel while my friends are still having kids. When I tell people I'm an empty nester at 40, they look at me like I've just revealed some impossible math equation. How can someone my age already be done with active parenting when most of my peers are still knee-deep in diaper changes and preschool pickup lines? The answer is simple: I had all three of my children by the time I was 21. I know what you're thinking. Teen pregnancy, unplanned parenthood, probably a struggle story about growing up too fast. And you'd be right about it all. Having kids so young was incredibly challenging. I was figuring out who I was while simultaneously trying to raise three tiny humans who needed me to have all the answers I definitely didn't have. But here's what nobody tells you about being a young parent: if you can survive those early years, you end up in the most incredible sweet spot later in life. Many of my friends are experiencing parenting stages I've already been through While some of my friends are posting first-day-of-kindergarten photos and complaining about sleepless nights with newborns, others are navigating the complex world of middle school drama and teenage attitudes. Meanwhile, I'm posting pictures from weekend trips and actually sleeping through the night. When they're researching preschools or stressing about the drama of high school, I'm helping my kids navigate college applications and starting their own businesses. When they're dealing with toddler tantrums or teenage mood swings, I'm having real conversations with my adult children about life, relationships, and their dreams. Being a young parent was tough, but I wouldn't change a thing Don't get me wrong — I'm not gloating. After all, those early years were rough, and I remember feeling so isolated from my peers who were out partying while I was home with babies. I missed out on a lot of typical early-20s experiences. There were moments when I wondered if I'd made a terrible mistake. But now, at 40, I can see the bigger picture. And honestly? I wouldn't change a thing. The energy difference alone is remarkable. While some of my friends are exhausted from chasing toddlers around playgrounds and others are stressed about teenage driving lessons and college prep, I have the physical and mental energy to pursue new interests, travel, and even consider new career paths. I can stay out late without worrying about a babysitter or curfew negotiations. I can take spontaneous weekend trips. I can focus on doing the things I love without constantly being interrupted by little voices asking for snacks or teenage drama demanding immediate attention. More importantly, I get to watch my children become adults while I'm still young enough to really enjoy it. My youngest is 20 now, and our relationship has evolved into something I never expected — we're genuinely friends. We text each other funny memes, grab dinner together, and he actually asks for my advice (and sometimes even takes it). There's something magical about being able to guide your adult children through their early career decisions, relationship challenges, and life transitions while you're still figuring out your own next chapter. We're growing and evolving together, just in different ways than when they were little. And here's something that might sound controversial: I could still have another baby if I wanted to. At 40, I'm not too old. I'm healthy, energetic, and financially stable in ways I never was in my 20s. The difference is that now it would be a choice, not an accident. There's something empowering about that. I've also discovered that my experience as a young parent gives me a unique perspective that other parents find valuable. I can offer advice to friends who are struggling with toddlers because I remember those days vividly, but I can also share insights about what really matters in the long run because I've already seen my kids grow up. The truth is, there's no perfect time to have children. Every path has its challenges and its rewards. But if you're a young parent reading this and feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. And that light? It's pretty spectacular. So while my friends are just beginning their parenting journeys, I'm entering a new phase of life with wisdom, energy, and freedom that I never could have imagined when I was 21 and overwhelmed. It really is the sweetest spot to be in. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword
