
Rangers chairman Andrew Cavenagh should note these 13 words and I had to laugh about one fan nickname
I had to laugh when the first Rangers fan on the radio on Monday night's phone-in referred to 'the boy Cavenagh'.
That will be Andrew Cavenagh, I presume. Newly installed, multi-millionaire chairman at Ibrox.
The man who built his fortune on a billion-dollar healthcare insurance firm in the United States.
That 'boy'?
The boy Cavenagh had made a sound first impression on the caller because of what he had to say to shareholders at an EGM earlier in the day which had ratified the injection of £20million worth of fresh investment in the club.
But the Ibrox media department might, going forward, have to issue Andrew with a copy of the newly-published Oxford English Dictionary, which has incorporated a total of 13 Scottish words that might be instructional on the basis that America and Scotland are countries separated by a common language.
One of the words is 'shoogly' – which will be the description used to describe the peg Andrew's jacket is hanging from in the event of Rangers making a bad start to the new season.
'Aye, right' is another addition. Andrew will need to know this one because it will be the response he'll get from every Rangers fan he meets if his explanation for a poor start is found to be unsatisfactory.
Conversely, Rangers, under new head coach Russell Martin, could carry all before them and end the first month of the season with a win over Celtic at Ibrox on August 31.
At which point Andrew will need to consult his dictionary to translate the newly-added 'hoaching' – which means crowded or thronging.
It was Cavenagh's vice-chairman, Paraag Marathe, who said after the EGM that if Ibrox could be redesigned to accommodate 200,000 fans then the ground would always be full to capacity.
Paraag, or 'the boy Marathe' as he might become known in the fullness of time, is the song-and-dance man of the new duo occupying centre stage at Ibrox, judging by his media conference after Monday's meeting.
He launched what I would describe as Operation Govan Gravitas during his inaugural introduction to the public at large.
Gravitas was the word that peppered his conversation concerning the immediate future for Rangers.
49ers Enterprises, he said, would bring 'global gravitas' to Rangers because of the business association between the pair of them.
And Marathe put forward the notion there is a certain 'extra gravitas' which will help attract new players to the club because of the
business link to an NFL team in San Francisco. Extra gravitas, as opposed to falling on your gravitas, so to speak.
There's a saying in football that you only get one chance to make a first impression and Cavenagh and Marathe look to have grabbed that opportunity.
There's always one, of course.
And Monday's opening turn at the top table has subsequently brought forward former Labour MP Sir Brian Donohoe to question whether the interests of the minority shareholders are looked after under the articles of association drawn up by a now private, as opposed to public limited, company.
Time will tell.
In the meantime, you have to wonder, with the benefit of hindsight, how so many chancers and snake oil salesmen managed to inveigle themselves into positions of power at Ibrox during the pain-in-the- gravitas years from 2011 until the present day.
A time that was spent accumulating so many financial difficulties that 49ers Enterprises have arrived like the cavalry to prevent further calamity from striking.
Cavenagh calls it 'building a culture'. That is to say, transforming a culture of failure on and off the park at Rangers into a culture of achievement through Operation Govan Gravitas.
What Cavenagh and Marathe have to be aware of as they prepare for the start of domestic matches and in Europe are two of the other words now in the Oxford English Dictionary.
One is 'bummer' and the other is 'beamer'.
Cavenagh is the heid bummer at Ibrox, otherwise known as the man with whom the buck stops.
Marathe and the chairman have to avoid a beamer, otherwise known as a flushed face in the aftermath of an embarrassing situation.
Marathe says everything Rangers do from now on will be built on 'discipline and thoughtful, analytical, data-based decision making'.
The man who called the chairman 'the boy Cavenagh' would probably beg to differ.
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