Savannah mother fights for own life, daughter's life, amidst struggle to navigate Georgia's abortion laws
Almost two years later, Callie Beale Harper's daughter Kit is now a little over a year old.
She loves to play with her stuffed animals, look at the chickens in her neighbor's yard and sing.
Though, before she was born, her mom didn't know how many of those activities Kit would be able to do.
'She was born at 27 weeks,' Harper said. 'She had a grade two brain bleed. She had retinopathy of prematurity which could have affected her vision for life, and she had a lung disorder called bpd because of prematurity due to my lack of care due to laws in the state of Georgia.'
Kit was originally a twin.
In April of 2023, Harper found out she was pregnant with a girl and a little boy.
'A lot to think about, but super exciting…I immediately started to look at like the double carriers,' she said.
However, her hopes were soon dashed. Doctors told her only one of her two babies would survive.
'At about 13 weeks of pregnancy, I discovered one of my twins had severe physical, structural anomalies,' Harper said. 'Structurally, he was incompatible with life. Me not knowing anything medically, I could see with my eye, my untrained eye, that so many parts of his body were broken beyond repair. It was incredibly swollen. I immediately just hoped and prayed that he wasn't in pain.'
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What came next was an impossible choice and a shocking revelation from one of her doctors.
'He said, 'What I recommend is a procedure called a selective reduction,'' Harper said. 'That is a form of abortion. It's painless before they have pain receptors…the risk is that if he continues to collect fluid, it's going to put your daughter's amniotic sac in a position that will take her life as well and trigger pre-term labor for you and it is a really real risk to your life.'
Harper now lives in Savannah, but she was living and being treated at a hospital about 30 minutes outside of Atlanta at the time. Harper said because of the current abortion laws in Georgia, doctors told her she wouldn't be allowed to have the procedure she needed to lay her son to rest and protect her healthy daughter in her home state.
She was given the same news by multiple specialists as well, with one telling her, '…that in her experience being a genetic counselor in the state of Georgia, you had to have very deep pockets to receive an exception,' Harper said. 'She said that if you were poor or middle class, you had no chance. She said that even if you had these deep pockets, it would take weeks to go before the board to receive an exception.'
The current law in Georgia dictates that abortions can't be performed after six weeks of pregnancy unless the woman or the fetus qualify for one of the exceptions outlined in Georgia House Bill 481, otherwise known as the Heartbeat Bill. 'A few exceptions for the state of Georgia are the risk to the mother's life, check that box for me,' Harper said. 'Non-viable pregnancy…That also applied to my son. In addition, the risk to my daughter's life, which does not fit into the black and white nature of these exceptions. I didn't understand why I didn't qualify for the exceptions for non-viable pregnancy as well as risk to mother's life, but I knew that that door was closed. They couldn't even refer me to doctors.'
To have the procedure she needed, one of Harper's doctors recommended she make at least three different appointments in three different states and not cancel any of them until the procedure was complete.
So, she traveled from Georgia to one of the states that would perform the surgery, New York. However, it took several weeks to even get the out-of-state appointment, time that Harper didn't have.
'I experienced the complications that my doctor told me I would experience had I not received care at 13 weeks,' she said.
Shortly after she returned to Georgia, the expecting mother ended up in the hospital again.
'Nineteen weeks, I found myself with a complete loss of fluid, contracting, bleeding,' Harper said. 'My husband took me to the hospital, emergency room, in the middle of the night. I went to triage and heard behind me as I'm having contractions, literally sitting in my own blood and amniotic fluid, them discussing that legally I'm not allowed up to labor and delivery for care and monitoring because I wasn't 20 weeks.'
Hearing staff comments, fearing for her own life and the life of her babies, the frantic mother-to-be could only send updates to her husband via text. He was waiting outside the hospital with their older son.
'For hours I sat in the emergency room. They started to send me back to the waiting room and said that they were going to put me on a course that aligned with the outcome of my pregnancy, which was very disturbing.'
Not knowing what that could mean, Harper said she had no choice but to take matters into her own hands.
'I screamed at the top of my lungs. I gripped the back of the wheelchair, and I said, 'My daughter is alive, and I need help,'' she said.
Eventually, hospital staff relented, Harper said.
'Because I caused a scene, because I'm a mother who loves her children, I was moved to a back room,' Harper said. 'At that point I was let up to labor and delivery. I did have a very rare, delayed interval delivery in which my son was born, but my daughter stayed safely inside.'
Though, the relief didn't last long.
For the second time now, Harper was receiving earth-shattering news from her doctors.
She said a specialist arrived the next morning and told her, 'Even though your daughter is perfectly healthy, we are now going to have to induce you. We are going to have to abort her life at 20 weeks because this pregnancy is going to kill you, and you are turning septic,' she said. 'I wish that I could say that I was furious and said you denied me healthcare in this form at 12, 13 weeks on my son with terminal problems. How are you going to take the life of my healthy daughter away?'
However, Harper wasn't willing to give up on saving her daughter.
'I had my labs drawn twice a day, and every time I gave blood from my veins, I just sat and waited to hear if it would be life or death for my daughter,' she said. 'Thankfully, miraculously, after a few days, my levels started going down.'
Still, she and her family had a long few months ahead of them.
'I was hospitalized ten times in ten weeks due to complications,' Harper said.
At the end of those ten weeks, though, and the end of her nine-month long struggle, Kit was finally born.
'She is now 16 months,' Harper said. 'She just had her 12-month developmental clinic appointment, and she is testing at 15, 18 months. She is ridiculously strong and smart, but it is a miracle she didn't also have severe delays and problems affecting her for the rest of her life.'
After her ordeal, on behalf of her daughter, Harper said she wasn't willing to remain quiet. Now, she advocates for other women, using social media to share her experience.
'In an ideal world, I would be holding both of my children right now and planning for their futures and how to care for them. But, instead, it's really my job to share what this really looks like and how it's affecting care providers and the mother's life,' she said.
Harper also uses her social media pages to educate people about abortion laws around the country, including in Georgia, where the Living Infants Fairness Equality Act (LIFE), is the legislation that dictates abortion law.
'With the LIFE Act, we recognized that not only did we need to take a look at the circumstances in which women find themselves…We balance that with the basic life to right of a child…Children that have a heartbeat. Many Georgians believe they're worthy of full, legal protections,' State Sen. Ed Setzler, (GA- 37), who was one of the sponsors of the bill, said.
Under the LIFE Act, elective abortions after six weeks of pregnancy are illegal, unless the woman or fetus qualifies for one of the exceptions outlined in the bill, including a medically non-viable pregnancy, rape/incest or risk to the life of the mother.
The law is also commonly known as the Heartbeat Bill because six weeks is the widely accepted timeframe for fetuses to develop a heartbeat.
It was passed in 2019, but it didn't go into effect until 2022 when landmark Supreme Court case Roe v. Wade was struck down and Governor Brian Kemp signed it into law.
'We're trying to weigh again these very difficult decisions and give people options where options were fair and just but not let folks be callous and use abortion as an elective means of birth control,' Setzler said.
Harper told WSAV that 'callous' isn't the correct word to describe people most affected by the legislation.
'A lot of times when late-term abortion is discussed, it's omitting the fact that less than 1% of abortions happen after 21 weeks,' she said. 'Almost always in these circumstances, the babies have a name. The mom has very lovingly and thoughtfully picked out paint color for their nursery. They have clothes that they've imagined slipping their sweet little babies' bodies into.'
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In 2022, The Center for Reproductive Rights filed a legal challenge to Georgia's six-week abortion ban, SisterSong v. State of Georgia, that's currently pending before the Georgia Supreme Court.
In January, they also filed an amicus brief lifting up stories like Harper's.
'This brief highlights the stories of several people who were directly impacted by the ban when they experienced medical emergencies and were unable to get prompt, urgently needed care because doctors are terrified under the ban,' Senior Staff Attorney at the Center for Reproductive Right Alice Wang said. 'The women who told their stories in the amicus brief, they make it crystal clear that none of them blame their doctors. Their doctors were doing the best that they could under impossible circumstances where they are facing potential criminal liability if a jury or a prosecutor later second guesses whether the care that they provided actually fits under the ban's narrow and inscrutable exceptions.'
However, Setzler does not believe HB 481 puts healthcare providers at risk.
He directly refuted one claim from Harper's doctor that she would have to wait to be granted one of the exceptions under the law.
'I know there's sometimes physicians who are politically active and politically very pro-abortion on demand,' he said. 'So, they hear the political critiques and that clouds their vision, perhaps even their medical practice. Physicians, physicians' groups, and hospitals may put their own internal processes in place to make these kinds of decisions, but to be clear, the life act puts no restrictions on a physician. If it's the physician's professional opinion that this child's natural condition is inconsistent with life, they unfortunately have the ability to perform an abortion for that purpose.'
However, Harper said she believed her doctors' hands were tied, and she said many of the women she's met through her advocacy have also felt pressured into silence.
'Everyone thinks, well, it's never going to affect me because my daughter would never have an abortion. She leads a small group at her church. This issue doesn't affect me. Well, it's only a matter of time before someone you know, and love, is faced with this reality.'
She shared a final appeal with WSAV: 'One ask that I have, and I say this coming from a Southern Baptist background, understanding that people's values, and the way we think about abortion is very complex, it comes from love, and care, and deeply held values, but it is not black and white what happens to mothers, or their babies in the womb, and laws are never going to be able to account for these complexities.'
Oral arguments in SisterSong v. State of Georgia will be heard before the Georgia Supreme Court on March 18.
Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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The Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone Just Diagnosed With Cancer
Credit - Photo-Illustration by TIME (Source Image: HearttoHeart0225/Getty Images) When Katie Thurston was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer earlier this year, at age 34, people kept telling her they knew someone with the same diagnosis. Solidarity, you might think. A helpful way to relate. Not exactly: Their friend or family member had died. This scenario is 'pretty recurring,' says Thurston, who starred on season 17 of The Bachelorette, and while people have good intentions—they want you to know they have experience with what you're going through—the remark doesn't land well. 'We understand that death is a possibility in this diagnosis,' she says. 'I don't need to hear that.' Thurston has been on the receiving end of a lot of outreach and opinions since she shared her breast cancer diagnosis—from strangers online, as well as people she knows in real life. While death-related stories are particularly painful, there are plenty of other comments that fall short of helpful. Communication slip-ups in this area are common, experts say. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, people often struggle to figure out how to express their support, leading them to trip over their words or hold back from saying anything at all. 'The data I have to back that up is all the people in my office who say, 'People don't know how to talk to me,'' says Felicity Harper, a clinical psychologist at Karmanos Cancer Institute in Detroit. 'It's very difficult, unless you've been through it or have some frame of reference, to really know what to say. You don't want to say the wrong thing, but you don't know what the right thing is.' Here's what to avoid when you're talking to someone diagnosed with cancer—and what to say instead. Make real and meaningful contact When you hear about a friend or family member's diagnosis, you might default to saying how sorry you are. 'They're going to hear that a million times,' Harper says. But 'no one is sorrier to hear that they were diagnosed with cancer than the cancer patients themselves.' Instead, she recommends phrasing your message like this: 'I heard about your diagnosis. I'm thinking of you, and I'm here for you.' It's also helpful to add that you don't expect a response—or to simply prepare yourself not to receive one. 'If you're sick and you get all these cards or texts, it makes you feel wonderful, but you also don't want the pressure of having to respond to everybody,' Harper says. If you haven't heard back, 'reach out again in another couple weeks or a month. It's just being consistent.' Don't respond with toxic positivity The No. 1 complaint Harper hears from cancer patients is that other people try to tell them how to feel—and it inevitably involves thinking positively. 'You're going to beat this!' they might say. 'Don't worry. You just have to stay positive.' People often assure Thurston that everything happens for a reason or promise that everything will be OK. 'It almost belittles the reality and emotions that a cancer patient is going through,' she says. Having cancer means tackling a range of emotions, sometimes all within the same hour: anxiety, fear, hope, uncertainty, disappointment, and anger, just for starters. 'When someone is having a hard time, our inclination is often to want to fix things and say, 'Oh, don't feel bad,' when really what they need is space to feel their feelings,' Harper says. The patients she sees often tell her that they feel like they're doing their cancer experience wrong because they can't stay positive—which makes them feel guilty, or like they're failing. That's exacerbated by comments like, 'If you just thought positively, you'd be doing better,' or telling someone that their stress is making them sicker. Read More: 10 Ways to Respond to Someone's Bad News Instead, Harper advises, make it a point to listen without judgment. Rather than invalidating them by downplaying the gravity of the situation, support your loved ones by telling them: 'Gosh, that sounds scary. That must be so hard.' Then stick by their side as they experience the whiplash of those ever-changing emotions. Although it might feel challenging, it's key to allow your loved one the space to talk freely about whatever they want—even the especially hard stuff. If a cancer patient's disease reaches an advanced stage, the people closest to them are also scared, so they try to shut down those conversations: 'You don't need to think about your funeral plans.' 'We've got to find a way to let that patient talk about it, and maybe that means we need to go talk to somebody about our own feelings,' Harper says. 'That's for us to deal with separately.' Check before offering advice People with cancer often get fed up by their loved ones telling them what to do. The word 'should' comes up a lot, Harper says: 'You should see this doctor! You should try that treatment plan! You should put these supplements on autoship.' Translation: 'I don't trust that you're getting good care, or that you know enough about what's best for you.' In general, it's a good idea to avoid offering solutions, well-intentioned as they might be. 'The thing I always say to patients is, you can tell those people, 'Look, when you've had cancer, you can come back and tell me what to do,'' Harper says. 'Until then, the best thing is to allow the patient to be the expert on how they're feeling,' and the ways they're managing their disease. Read More: How to Reconnect With People You Care About While unsolicited tips aren't always welcome, Thurston appreciates when people open a conversation like this: 'If you'd like to hear some advice, let me know. Or, if you want help researching any specific topic related to your diagnosis, I'm here.' In other words: 'I want to help you get information, but only if you're ready to accept it or want help researching it.' That makes it much more palatable, she says, and she's taken loved ones up on the offer. Avoid a litany of other unhelpful remarks When the conversation turns to appearance and cancer-related changes, some people say: 'It's just hair. It will grow back.' 'But the thing is, it's just hair until it happens to you,' says Thurston, who's documenting her medical journey via an Instagram group she dubbed the Boobie Broadcast. 'This isn't a bad haircut. This is a very emotionally and physically difficult time, and we need to be cautious of comments like that.' Many breast cancer patients undergo a mastectomy, which involves removing all or part of the breast, and can be followed by reconstruction to rebuild the breast shape. Some people pounce on that when making conversation. 'I think people try to be optimistic on our behalf, so they'll say these lighthearted comments like, 'Oh, at least it's a free boob job,'' Thurston says. ''Oh, you get a free tummy tuck.' And while they mean well, it's not free. There's so many consequences—it's not some vain situation I'm going through. It's a surgery because of my medical diagnosis." Read More: The Race to Explain Why More Young Adults Are Getting Cancer The subject of family planning is also full of landmines. Thurston was vocal about undergoing IVF before beginning treatment as part of her fertility preservation plan. It's an incredibly sensitive topic, she says, and she's already heard plenty of unhelpful feedback, like from people who tell her she can always foster or adopt. 'A lot goes into IVF, and I don't know where I'm going to be physically, emotionally, and financially if that doesn't work out for me,' she says. 'To simply say 'you can always adopt'—it's not as easy as you're making it sound, and you're belittling the entire experience I'm going through when it comes to IVF.' Thurston recommends letting the person with cancer guide these conversations—and if you do venture into the subject, to ask questions like, 'How much do you want to talk about it?' She's encountered people who are truly sensitive about the situation and, for example, ask if it's OK if they bring their children to places where she'll be. 'Sometimes it can be triggering to even see a baby,' she says, and when people are cognizant of that, their thoughtfulness goes a long way. Don't default to silence Not everyone says the right thing when they're trying to support someone who's just been diagnosed with cancer. But saying anything—even if it's not perfect—is better than saying nothing at all. 'I think people don't know what to say or they feel uncomfortable, but I'd rather someone stumble on their attempt at talking about it, vs. not saying anything,' Thurston says. 'That one hurts the most, and I think people don't realize it.' If you're not sure what to say, tell your friend exactly that. Thurston recommends adding: 'I might have difficulties having this conversation. Help me navigate—help me understand.' 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Talking about cancer is so emotional, she adds, that sometimes she just wants to talk about reality TV, the restaurant she went to last weekend, or her dog—anything else. Harper counsels patients on how to set boundaries around talking about their disease. Some get in the habit of saying: 'I don't want to talk about it—when I do want to, I'll bring it up.' 'Sometimes cancer needs to be on the back-burner,' Harper says. 'It doesn't need to be your whole identity—sometimes you just want to remember what your life was like before.' Offer practical, specific help If you want to do something to lighten a cancer patient's load, consider asking the people closest to them—a parent, sibling, or spouse—how you can best be helpful. Word it like this: 'The church is thinking about setting up a meal train for the family. Is that something you think would be good?' Aim to offer practical support, like setting up a fund for gas money, building a wheelchair ramp connected to their front door, providing childcare, or planning a low-key visit once a week, Harper says. Thurston loves when people make specific offers to help, like telling her they want to provide dinner—and then asking if she'd prefer Thursday or Friday drop-off. Or, someone might reach out and say they'd like to drive her to her next oncology appointment. 'Those action items of offering support make such a huge difference,' she says. 'To some people, it might feel small, but to a cancer patient, it really makes such a positive impact.' Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email timetotalk@ Contact us at letters@
Time Magazine
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When Katie Thurston was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer earlier this year, at age 34, people kept telling her they knew someone with the same diagnosis. Solidarity, you might think. A helpful way to relate. Not exactly: Their friend or family member had died. This scenario is 'pretty recurring,' says Thurston, who starred on season 17 of The Bachelorette, and while people have good intentions—they want you to know they have experience with what you're going through—the remark doesn't land well. 'We understand that death is a possibility in this diagnosis,' she says. 'I don't need to hear that.' Thurston has been on the receiving end of a lot of outreach and opinions since she shared her breast cancer diagnosis—from strangers online, as well as people she knows in real life. While death-related stories are particularly painful, there are plenty of other comments that fall short of helpful. Communication slip-ups in this area are common, experts say. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, people often struggle to figure out how to express their support, leading them to trip over their words or hold back from saying anything at all. 'The data I have to back that up is all the people in my office who say, 'People don't know how to talk to me,'' says Felicity Harper, a clinical psychologist at Karmanos Cancer Institute in Detroit. 'It's very difficult, unless you've been through it or have some frame of reference, to really know what to say. You don't want to say the wrong thing, but you don't know what the right thing is.' Here's what to avoid when you're talking to someone diagnosed with cancer—and what to say instead. Make real and meaningful contact When you hear about a friend or family member's diagnosis, you might default to saying how sorry you are. 'They're going to hear that a million times,' Harper says. But 'no one is sorrier to hear that they were diagnosed with cancer than the cancer patients themselves.' Instead, she recommends phrasing your message like this: 'I heard about your diagnosis. I'm thinking of you, and I'm here for you.' It's also helpful to add that you don't expect a response—or to simply prepare yourself not to receive one. 'If you're sick and you get all these cards or texts, it makes you feel wonderful, but you also don't want the pressure of having to respond to everybody,' Harper says. If you haven't heard back, 'reach out again in another couple weeks or a month. It's just being consistent.' Don't respond with toxic positivity The No. 1 complaint Harper hears from cancer patients is that other people try to tell them how to feel—and it inevitably involves thinking positively. 'You're going to beat this!' they might say. 'Don't worry. You just have to stay positive.' People often assure Thurston that everything happens for a reason or promise that everything will be OK. 'It almost belittles the reality and emotions that a cancer patient is going through,' she says. Having cancer means tackling a range of emotions, sometimes all within the same hour: anxiety, fear, hope, uncertainty, disappointment, and anger, just for starters. 'When someone is having a hard time, our inclination is often to want to fix things and say, 'Oh, don't feel bad,' when really what they need is space to feel their feelings,' Harper says. The patients she sees often tell her that they feel like they're doing their cancer experience wrong because they can't stay positive—which makes them feel guilty, or like they're failing. That's exacerbated by comments like, 'If you just thought positively, you'd be doing better,' or telling someone that their stress is making them sicker. Read More: 10 Ways to Respond to Someone's Bad News Instead, Harper advises, make it a point to listen without judgment. Rather than invalidating them by downplaying the gravity of the situation, support your loved ones by telling them: 'Gosh, that sounds scary. That must be so hard.' Then stick by their side as they experience the whiplash of those ever-changing emotions. Although it might feel challenging, it's key to allow your loved one the space to talk freely about whatever they want—even the especially hard stuff. If a cancer patient's disease reaches an advanced stage, the people closest to them are also scared, so they try to shut down those conversations: 'You don't need to think about your funeral plans.' 'We've got to find a way to let that patient talk about it, and maybe that means we need to go talk to somebody about our own feelings,' Harper says. 'That's for us to deal with separately.' Check before offering advice People with cancer often get fed up by their loved ones telling them what to do. The word 'should' comes up a lot, Harper says: 'You should see this doctor! You should try that treatment plan! You should put these supplements on autoship.' Translation: 'I don't trust that you're getting good care, or that you know enough about what's best for you.' In general, it's a good idea to avoid offering solutions, well-intentioned as they might be. 'The thing I always say to patients is, you can tell those people, 'Look, when you've had cancer, you can come back and tell me what to do,'' Harper says. 'Until then, the best thing is to allow the patient to be the expert on how they're feeling,' and the ways they're managing their disease. Read More: How to Reconnect With People You Care About While unsolicited tips aren't always welcome, Thurston appreciates when people open a conversation like this: 'If you'd like to hear some advice, let me know. Or, if you want help researching any specific topic related to your diagnosis, I'm here.' In other words: 'I want to help you get information, but only if you're ready to accept it or want help researching it.' That makes it much more palatable, she says, and she's taken loved ones up on the offer. Avoid a litany of other unhelpful remarks When the conversation turns to appearance and cancer-related changes, some people say: 'It's just hair. It will grow back.' 'But the thing is, it's just hair until it happens to you,' says Thurston, who's documenting her medical journey via an Instagram group she dubbed the Boobie Broadcast. 'This isn't a bad haircut. This is a very emotionally and physically difficult time, and we need to be cautious of comments like that.' Many breast cancer patients undergo a mastectomy, which involves removing all or part of the breast, and can be followed by reconstruction to rebuild the breast shape. Some people pounce on that when making conversation. 'I think people try to be optimistic on our behalf, so they'll say these lighthearted comments like, 'Oh, at least it's a free boob job,'' Thurston says. ''Oh, you get a free tummy tuck.' And while they mean well, it's not free. There's so many consequences—it's not some vain situation I'm going through. It's a surgery because of my medical diagnosis." Read More: The Race to Explain Why More Young Adults Are Getting Cancer The subject of family planning is also full of landmines. Thurston was vocal about undergoing IVF before beginning treatment as part of her fertility preservation plan. It's an incredibly sensitive topic, she says, and she's already heard plenty of unhelpful feedback, like from people who tell her she can always foster or adopt. 'A lot goes into IVF, and I don't know where I'm going to be physically, emotionally, and financially if that doesn't work out for me,' she says. 'To simply say 'you can always adopt'—it's not as easy as you're making it sound, and you're belittling the entire experience I'm going through when it comes to IVF.' Thurston recommends letting the person with cancer guide these conversations—and if you do venture into the subject, to ask questions like, 'How much do you want to talk about it?' She's encountered people who are truly sensitive about the situation and, for example, ask if it's OK if they bring their children to places where she'll be. 'Sometimes it can be triggering to even see a baby,' she says, and when people are cognizant of that, their thoughtfulness goes a long way. Don't default to silence Not everyone says the right thing when they're trying to support someone who's just been diagnosed with cancer. But saying anything—even if it's not perfect—is better than saying nothing at all. 'I think people don't know what to say or they feel uncomfortable, but I'd rather someone stumble on their attempt at talking about it, vs. not saying anything,' Thurston says. 'That one hurts the most, and I think people don't realize it.' If you're not sure what to say, tell your friend exactly that. Thurston recommends adding: 'I might have difficulties having this conversation. Help me navigate—help me understand.' Many of Harper's patients say they learned who their real friends were after they were diagnosed with cancer. Some of the people in their network stepped up and were present; others vanished, perhaps because they didn't know what to say or didn't realize their voice would be missed. Checking in matters, Harper stresses, and not just at the beginning of treatment. Once active care ends, 'People assume you're fine, and they never ask about it again,' she says. 'But patients deal with the effects of cancer treatment long after the treatment's over'—not to mention that those who have metastatic disease will need to manage it long term. Read More: 10 Questions to Help You Plan for the End of Life If you're staying mum because you don't want to pester your friend, reconsider. Thurston suggests directly asking: 'Do you want me to check in about your diagnosis? Do you want me to check in about your life? How much are you wanting to have this in front of you, vs. having it be an afterthought?' Talking about cancer is so emotional, she adds, that sometimes she just wants to talk about reality TV, the restaurant she went to last weekend, or her dog—anything else. Harper counsels patients on how to set boundaries around talking about their disease. Some get in the habit of saying: 'I don't want to talk about it—when I do want to, I'll bring it up.' 'Sometimes cancer needs to be on the back-burner,' Harper says. 'It doesn't need to be your whole identity—sometimes you just want to remember what your life was like before.' Offer practical, specific help If you want to do something to lighten a cancer patient's load, consider asking the people closest to them—a parent, sibling, or spouse—how you can best be helpful. Word it like this: 'The church is thinking about setting up a meal train for the family. Is that something you think would be good?' Aim to offer practical support, like setting up a fund for gas money, building a wheelchair ramp connected to their front door, providing childcare, or planning a low-key visit once a week, Harper says. Thurston loves when people make specific offers to help, like telling her they want to provide dinner—and then asking if she'd prefer Thursday or Friday drop-off. Or, someone might reach out and say they'd like to drive her to her next oncology appointment. 'Those action items of offering support make such a huge difference,' she says. 'To some people, it might feel small, but to a cancer patient, it really makes such a positive impact.' Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email timetotalk@
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- Business Upturn
Craig Harper Fights Cancer with Single-Digit Body Fat and a 'Be Savage' Mindset on Health is a Skill with Todd Vande Hei
By GlobeNewswire Published on July 25, 2025, 02:56 IST Beverly Hills California, July 24, 2025 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) — In an episode that redefines resilience, Todd Vande Hei, CEO of Stark and host of Health is a Skill , sits down with 61-year-old executive Craig Harper to explore how deliberate health optimization can become a powerful edge against disease. Diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable blood cancer, Harper was told by his first oncologist there was 'nothing he could do.' Instead, he chose to rewrite the script. 'I'd rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war,' Harper said. Instead of waiting passively for chemo, he doubled down on proactive labs, heavy lifting, and long weighted walks. Today, he maintains just 9% body fat, logs 15,000 steps daily in a 40-pound vest, and surfs whenever possible, remarkably with no current symptoms. Highlights from their conversation included: Why Stark's routine lab work caught his cancer early, enabling a critical head start on intervention. How building lean mass and metabolic flexibility became essential tools, with muscle acting as 'storage for sugar'—helping to undercut cancer's fuel. The role of sauna, nasal breathing, and mobility in keeping him hiking strenuous trails and popping up on a surfboard at 61. Teaching his grandkids to 'be savage, not average,' encouraging them to find and test their own edges in life. Reflecting on the typical American path, Harper added, 'So many of my counterparts just seek comfort, too much alcohol, junk food, the couch. It seems like pleasure, but it leads to misery.' Instead, he hopes his story inspires others to take control before a diagnosis forces the issue. 'When the old man's knocking, don't let him in,' he advised. Listeners can hear the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. To explore how personalized strength, nutrition, and lab analysis can help build a more resilient body, visit About Health Is a Skill Health is a Skill is a Los Angeles-based podcast hosted by Todd Vande Hei, CEO of Stark. Each episode blends scientific insight, personal stories, and actionable habits to show how optimizing healthspan can transform every decade of life. Media Communications [email protected] Attachment Craig Harper shares how he's out-training blood cancer with Todd Vande Hei on Health is a Skill. Disclaimer: The above press release comes to you under an arrangement with GlobeNewswire. Business Upturn takes no editorial responsibility for the same. Ahmedabad Plane Crash GlobeNewswire provides press release distribution services globally, with substantial operations in North America and Europe.
