Paralympian Ellie Simmonds opens up on feeling 'rejected' by birth mother over her disability

Wales Online

27-05-2025

Paralympian Ellie Simmonds opens up on feeling 'rejected' by birth mother over her disability
The Team GB swimmer from Swansea delves in to her adoption and whether or not she wants biological children in her new ITV documentary
Ellie Simmonds with parents Megan and David with baby Cerys who was born with down's syndrome.
(Image: ITV )
Former Team GB swimmer, Ellie Simmonds, has shared the heart-wrenching decision she's grappling with concerning whether to have children, confessing that she's "just not ready" for the emotional weight of the issue.
The Paralympic champion was born in Derbyshire but grew up in Swansea from age 11 to make use of the region's excellent swimming facilities.
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Now 30, the five-time Paralympic gold winner, who hung up her goggles in 2021, is contemplating what life holds next. Ellie, who lives with achondroplasia, a common cause of dwarfism, finds herself at a crossroads about embarking on motherhood.
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She discussed the topic tonight, Tuesday, May 27, in her new ITV documentary, 'Ellie Simmonds: Should I Have Children?For the latest TV and showbiz gossip sign up to our newsletter .
During her personal journey, Ellie discovers a distressing truth regarding her potential future pregnancies.
If she were to conceive with a partner who also has dwarfism, there is a 25% risk their child could inherit a fatal 'double dose' of the condition. Ellie reflects deeply on this information, commenting: "No parent should have to go through that. While I'm not at the stage of wanting a baby just yet, it's something I will have to consider." You can read more about Ellie's baby dilemma here.
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She said: "Being a 30-year-old woman, this is the time people think about starting a family. But my situation is different because I live with a disability, so I understand what it's like to be a disabled person. When people find out they're having a disabled baby, do they worry that they won't be able to cope? Are they nervous? Do they want a picture-perfect baby?"
The documentary delved deep into the difficulties faced by prospective parents who are informed their child could have disabilities. Ellie met with different families who have children with disabilities.
This included Rosie and Lloyd who learned that their son Arlo was going to be born with dwarfism during a 28-week scan and Megan and David, whose daughter Cerys has Down's syndrome.
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In the programme, the swimmer examined the array of choices before her, ranging from using sperm donors or freezing her eggs to considering adoption.
Ellie is one of five adopted siblings and was adopted just ten days after her birth mother placed her for adoption upon finding out that she was disabled.
Reconnecting two years ago while participating in the documentary, 'Finding My Secret Family', it wasn't until the creation of her new candid documentary that Ellie felt ready to discuss such a delicate subject with her birth mother.
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In the documentary, Ellie reflected on her feelings of being "given up" and being "rejected" because of her disability by her birth mother.
She said: "I want to know what it was like for her to decide to put me up for adoption. For her it was 30 years ago, but it's quite a sensitive, super emotional situation."
Her birth mother, who chose to remain anonymous during the interview, poured out her heartache: "It's really quite traumatic. It's hard for you to hear.
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"I don't want to in any way upset you. You're making a decision at the wrong time of your life, because you've just given birth, your hormones are all over the place. You're physically not right, you're mentally not right."
She opened up about the daunting obstacles she faced back then, recounting: "There was a lot in the background going on. I kept the pregnancy a secret, I gave birth on my own. I went to a geneticist and she was very abrupt. She said: 'There you go, that's what your baby is going to look like'. I remember thinking I can't cope with this. Maybe I wanted a magic wand."
Delving deeper into her personal turmoil, she elaborated: "All I could see was your disability. You can make excuses, but I really did struggle.
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"I grieved the child that I thought you should have been. It was the biggest decision of my life. To give your biological child away... it was momentous. I just handed you over and that's something you really can never get over. The guilt is horrendous. You live with it all the time."
British paralympic gold and bronze medalist Ellie Simmonds poses with her medals after returning from the Rio 2016 Paralympic Games in Brazil
(Image: AFP via Getty Images )
Acknowledging her unwavering thoughts about her child, she expressed: "I didn't ever forget you. I thought about you every day. When I saw you at the Beijing Paralympics, I thought 'That's my Ellie'. I've been a number one fan.
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"I've watched everything you've done, I'm extremely proud. It's an amazing thing to have a child, there's no love like it. Fast forward 30 years and I realise what a fabulous woman you are. It's just that you were a bit shorter. You're a completely perfect person in every way."
As Ellie listened, overcome with emotion and largely silent, her birth mother continued to speak. Ellie eventually mustered the courage to say: "We don't want to blame anyone, decisions are decisions. You're amazing".
Yet, her birth mother responded with raw honesty: "I don't know Ellie, I think sometimes it was quite cowardly to be honest."
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Reflecting on their heartfelt exchange, Ellie observed: "It seems that she held that guilt for a long time. That's really sad. We put a lot of pressure on the mum in society. It's amazing that she's so honest and open. I think people's fear of a disability is actually a fear of what's inside of them."