Understanding social fathers in South Africa: Their roles and impact
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A new social justice trend is changing the narrative around absent fathers and fatherless children. Social fathering enables men to step up as father figures and help boys develop positive identities in the absence of their biological fathers.
As South Africans gear up to celebrate Father's Day on Sunday 15 June 2025, Wessel van den Berg, senior advocacy officer at Equimundo Center for Masculinities and Social Justice highlighted the work they do. 'A social father is a man who steps into a fathering role, engaging with the child and providing caregiving – of course, with the full knowledge and consent of the child's mother or guardian. Children tend to identify with men who they spend quite a lot of time with, and with time and consistency, these men could become father figures to them. So, a social father is really defined in terms of the nature and quality of care that a man gives to a child.'
According to the State of South African Fathers (SOSAF) 2024 report, 64.5% of South Africa children don't live with their biological fathers. More than half of this group however live with other adult men. These may be stepfathers and partners of their mothers, or in extended family households, relatives such as older brothers, grandfathers and uncles. However, boys don't necessarily have to reside with a positive father figure – social fathers can also be teachers at schools, pastors from local churches, coaches at community sports programmes or mentors from a non-profit organisation.
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Social fathering
While some men in South Africa are informally in social fathering roles, it is important that society recognises and values their contribution. It is also essential that there is wide support and encouragement for social fathers in the country. The Character Company (TCC) is a non-profit mentoring organisation focused on connecting 'fatherless' boys with vetted and trained social fathers. Founder and CEO, Jaco van Schalkwyk says: 'For the past 13 years, TCC has provided mentorship for well over 1100 boys, delivering almost 10 000 mentorship sessions and holding 175 camps for boys and their mentors. We have essentially established a thriving community model of social fathering where boys can engage over the long-term with consistent, positive male role models, and our mentors benefit from structure and support for their efforts as social fathers.'
Social fathering may not be for everyone. Van Schalkwyk points out that it can be a tough space requiring patience, self-control, firm boundaries, confidence in one's ability to provide guidance and a relentlessly kind heart. Many boys come into the TCC programme with emotional wounds due to their lack of fathering, which can easily manifest in challenging behaviours.
'Social fathers are special people. In the absence of a biological connection, they must have a strong personal intention and commitment to make a good difference in the lives of our boys. They need to be men who are driven by their values and can stand out as role models because of this demonstrable integrity."
Consistency is key
Both Jaco and Wessel agree that if you are inspired to step up as a social father, you must be sure you are going to be able to be consistent with the child. Making regular time and ensuring that you are present with the child, mentally and emotionally available, is essential. Van Svhalkwyk said: 'For a boy with an absent father, he has a deep need to be seen, he wants to be heard, and he wants to know that he matters to you. When a social father comes into the life of a fatherless boy, the message is that he is worth stepping up for, and it's incredibly important not to let him down on this.
'In this way, his TCC mentor becomes a role model for being accountable, helping the boy grow into a man with good values, emotional intelligence and empathy for others. When South Africa has enough social fathers who can do this for all our boys with absent fathers, we will turn the tide against so many of the big problems in our society.'
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