Letters to the Editor: My mother had a happy experience of residential care

Irish Examiner

23-06-2025

My mother's experience of senior residential care was happy. She felt safe there. My sister became her daily visitor, sitting with her and interacting with the staff and residents around her.
In quick time, we all knew whether anyone from our area worked there.
We knew what work the residents had done during their lives and how their families were noteworthy or/and connected to us in any ways.
When we visited, we were introduced to everyone in their turn and made use of to benefit the community. I was called upon to supply poetry notes for someone's child sitting State exams, a small favour my mother or sister asked of me.
In no time at all, a village atmosphere grew around us, with all the care and love that a village affords to its locals.
My sister's commitment to my mother was immeasurable. I am humbled; as her infrequent brother, I turned up some of the time.
Here, in Dungarvan, my father-in-law had an excellent experience of residential care. He was literally across the road from where we live.
One of his daughters works in that facility and spent all of her days working around him. My wife became his daily visitor, dropping in for hours in the evening and visiting other residents in turn while she was there.
His old school friends and dancing partners sat by the beds around him or made for lively banter in the day room. How they loved to party.
Staffed by people, known to his children, whose parents and grandparents were the backdrop to his life, his carers loved to listen to his stories. Workers from across the world were treated with the same lively fun and given the 'céad míle fáilte'.
Somehow, it became his personal and individual experience of being in care.
Con O'Sullivan, Dungarvan, Co Waterford
Kindness in wake of Air India bombing
My mother, Barsa Kelly, was aboard the downed Air India plane in 1985. The anxiety of not knowing what to expect, combined with our terrible grief, was almost intolerable.
The compassion, sympathy and support that we received from the moment we arrived in Cork somehow made our ordeal more bearable. The people of Cork made us feel as if it was their tragedy as well as ours.
We were met by two wonderful ladies when we landed, a nurse and a sister — we think their names were Geraldine and Lorna. We met Garda Donal McCarthy at the then Cork Regional Hospital, and we will be forever indebted to him for his kindness and patience. His gentle way was a crutch for us. He later phoned us at the hotel to say how glad he was we had found my mother. We were extremely touched by this gesture.
We are also indebted to Donal Cullinane and Dan Lordan who went above and beyond their required duty to help us. Without their keen observation regarding the matching of the identification forms, we would not have found mom.
With their kind manner they made sure we were never rushed, yet everything they did was concise and professional.
We would like once again to thank the staffs of the Imperial Hotel and of what's now Cork University Hospital, as well as the taxi drivers who refused to let us pay them.
Not a person at the hospital passed me without asking if I needed something or just wordlessly put an arm around me.
The death of my mother will scar us forever, but we will always remember the exceptional kindness with which we were treated by the people of Cork.
We have never encountered kinder souls.
Lorna Kelly, Ontario, Canada
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EU's stance on Iran
An open letter to Ursula von der Leyen:
As an Irish citizen and, consequently, also a citizen of the European Union, I felt the need to write to you. I hope you will consider my following concerns, which I share with full respect.
Irish radio news reported this week that after Israel's attack on Iran and after your conversation with prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu, you reported, while attending the G7 summit in Canada, that, in this context, Israel has the right to defend itself, Iran is the principal source of regional instability, and Iran is the source of terror in the Middle East.
Naturally, I respect your right to have the belief that Iran is the principal source of regional instability in the Middle East. However, the events of history, including very recent history, also calls attention to the extraordinary source of terror and regional instability in the Middle East, which Israel's actions have so blatantly displayed.
Regarding the longer history of Israeli abuses perpetrated against the Palestinians, I refer to the eye-opening work of the internationally respected Jewish Israeli historian Ilan Pappé. I am not suggesting that one should necessarily accept or reject what Prof Pappé shares. But I am suggesting that it is important that people at least allow themselves to become aware of his historical research and then, after having done so, to make up their own minds.
Also, regarding what is occurring in the Middle East and beyond, I am reminded of Orwell's words from his book 1984: 'The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears.'
It is not only a fact that Israel has the right to defend itself, but it is also a fact that every country (even Russia) and every individual person has the right to defend themselves. However, the manner of how a country or an individual carries out their defence of themselves is not only a different fact but also a very different fact, especially if it includes barbarity, war crimes, and maybe even genocide against thousands of innocent civilians.
In a radio interview I gave yesterday, the interviewer asked me to say something about the purpose of our Thinking Centre here in Ireland. I answered that one of our main objectives is to try to understand more deeply how prejudices (pre-judge) can so unknowingly take hold within our human minds and, consequently, unbalance how we perceive and speak about the events we encounter. I include myself in this as well.
During this interview, I also drew attention to those enduring wise words from the Bible: 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.' However, in this conflict taking place between Israel and Iran, both sides not only throw stones at one another but also fall into that form of adolescent consciousness in which each side exclusively blames the other for the stones they themselves are throwing. I think outside forces strongly announcing too early the taking of sides of either combatant in this type of conflict can result in the unintended implication of injecting further energy into these 'adolescent' impasses.
In these very dangerous situations, such as this war between Israel and Iran, I think the primary responsibility of all those outside powers not directly involved in the conflict is to participate in a manner that helps de-escalate the crisis before it gets even more dangerously out of control. Afterwards, when peace and stability return, then representatives of governments and institutions can indulge in the luxury of expressing their personal views on who was to blame, or who was most to blame.
However, by so prematurely and so publicly announcing of the taking of the side of Israel against Iran, how can Iran be expected to listen, trust, or have any kind of constructive relationship with any peace initiative the European Union may later propose?
This is why dialogue, especially the spirit of dialogue, is so important because otherwise people tend not to notice certain adverse implications that their contemplated actions can lead to until after they have taken their action.
The words fusion and confusion are deeply linked. If over-repeated, this constantly repeated fact — Israel has the right to defend itself — can easily lead to perceptual confusion. It requires extra care and attention to avoid the illusion created by our human tendency to conflate two very different facts into the same perceptual space. Because this can so easily result in deflecting or obscuring our attention away from facing a fact that we are unknowingly trying to avoid fully facing. Or avoiding the uncomfortable responsibility of having to take the actions that are necessary for the preservation of integrity and overall justice.
Wishing you much future success in the important role you have been entrusted with.
Eddie O'Brien, Director of The Thinking Centre, Clonmel, Co Tipperary
Welcome for Rose
Here, in Portland, our version of the Rose of Tralee is called the Rose Festival.
The new Queen of Rosaria, Ava Rathi, plans to attend Trinity in the autumn. Will the Government of Ireland demand access to her social media accounts? I kind of doubt it.
Bill Gallagher, Portland, Oregon, US
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