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Melinda Gates candidly details where she went 'wrong' with parenting

Melinda Gates candidly details where she went 'wrong' with parenting

Daily Mail​3 days ago
Melinda Gates has got a lot 'right' in life, particularly when it comes to business ventures that have helped her amass a net worth of $30.7 billion.
But she admits she has made mistakes before, and one of her first big 'failures' didn't happen in a meeting - it happened at home during an interaction with her youngest daughter Phoebe Gates.
In the How to Fail with Elizabeth Day podcast, Melinda, 60, opened up about a heated moment with her now-23-year-old daughter Phoebe that led to the mom-of-three learning an important lesson not only about parenting but about friendships as well.
She explained that while her older children, Jennifer, 30, and Rory, 25, were pretty good at following rules, her youngest was the 'toughest.'
'My third one just ran right through the rules,' Melinda, who is Microsoft found Bill Gates ' ex wife, told Elizabeth.
Melinda went on to describe a moment when Phoebe was in high school that the mother-daughter duo got into an argument because Melinda wasn't allowing her to go to a party.
'She was really mad about it, kept pushing and pushing and pushing on me and finally she pushed me over the edge and I lost my temper with her,' Melinda said.
She explained that while as parents you never want to lose your temper, it got away from her at that moment.
'We're all human, but I really lost my temper in a way I just shouldn't have and she was really angry at me and for good reason then, especially,' she said.
'I had not just a little bit raised my voice.
'I'd really raised my voice and I knew I was in the wrong.'
Melinda quickly realized that she had 'overdone it,' but Phoebe had already marched upstairs.
The mom quickly followed her upstairs to try and repair the situation - but Phoebe wasn't as eager for reconciliation as Melinda had thought she would be.
Melinda went up to apologize and had asked her daughter for at least a hug, but Phoebe refused.
'I had to learn that no from her, that putting her hand up saying, "no, mom," she needed longer till she was ready to repair and maybe what I wanted, she wasn't ready for and it,' Melinda said.
'We all repair or get over emotions at different rates and just because I'm ready doesn't mean she's ready and of course as I look back, I was also the one in the position of power.'
Elizabeth then asked Melinda if the reason she wanted to patch things up so quickly - or at least sooner than her did - was because she was uncomfortable with people being mad at her.
But Melinda said that that wasn't the case.
'I worked at Microsoft for nine years,' she said.
'People were mad all the time.'
Instead, she explained that it was because she knew she had overstepped, even as a parent.
But the situation, as well as one that happened a few years after where the two fought again, reinforced the idea that everyone needed their own time to be ready for repair in relationships.
'We learned from that and she also learned boundaries,' she said.
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EXCLUSIVE I moved to Australia at 85 to escape the cost-of-living crisis: I was so nervous, even with family by my side. Here's what every pensioner needs to know about relocating Down Under
EXCLUSIVE I moved to Australia at 85 to escape the cost-of-living crisis: I was so nervous, even with family by my side. Here's what every pensioner needs to know about relocating Down Under

Daily Mail​

time36 minutes ago

  • Daily Mail​

EXCLUSIVE I moved to Australia at 85 to escape the cost-of-living crisis: I was so nervous, even with family by my side. Here's what every pensioner needs to know about relocating Down Under

Moving to the other side of the world is a huge undertaking at any age, but when you make the move in your eighties, it's doubly impressive. Pensioner Jill Churchyard, from Bromley did exactly that 18 months ago when she relocated to Perth in Western Australia with her family, aged 85. Emigrating was certainly not what Jill expected in her ninth decade. But the family, tired of being squeezed more and more in the cost of living crisis, decided to leave their lives in the UK behind for better weather, an improved standard of living and a greater work-life balance. Jill flew more than 10,000 miles to Australia in December 2023 – with daughter Lesley Reed, 56, son-in-law Pete, 54, a senior software test engineer and grandchildren Lara, 13 and Annabelle 11. They swapped their five bedroom house in Bromley for a four-bedroom house in Perth, which has a swimming pool and is close to the beach. Jill, now 86, said: 'I could never have imagined emigrating in my 80s. If you'd told me I would be doing this, I wouldn't have believed you. Ideally, I would have preferred to have moved to Australia in my 60s. 'Obviously moving to the other side of the world at my age is a huge deal. It's a big move to make and I was worried about it. 'But I lived with my daughter and grandchildren in Bromley and I wanted to continue living with them and I knew making the move would be good for my daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren.' The family decided to emigrate to Perth, after finding it harder and harder to live in the UK due to the cost-of-living crisis. 'The economic crisis didn't impact me as much because I am retired, but I was very aware of how much it was impacting my daughter and her husband as a family with two young children,' Jill said. 'Bills were going up and they were working more and more hours.' Jill is still in receipt of her state pension, but because she's left the country it is not index linked. This means she is not entitled to a yearly increase because Australia does not have a social security agreement with the UK. It will remain at the same rate as when she left, unless she were to move back home. Jill also has passive income from renting out her flat back home, and the lower cost of living means her money stretches further. However, the emotional toll of the move has been somewhat harder to navigate than the financial side, with Jilly admitting that she was 'very nervous about it'. 'It's a difficult move to make at my age. My biggest worry was leaving family and friends behind in the UK and whether I would be able to make new friends in Australia. 'It was hard at first, but I've joined the Senior Citizens Centre and some over 50s social groups, which has really helped. I've been able to go on day trips to pretty nearby villages and enjoy activities such as art and craft sessions and quiz nights and special interest clubs like computing. I am starting to feel much more settled now. The mortgage for the family home in the UK (pictured) was £2,500 per month 'There are lots of things I like about living in Australia. The weather is much nicer, there are not so many people, everyone is very friendly and talks to you. 'The hardest thing is being away from friends in the UK – although due to my age the number has been dwindling due to people passing away.' Jill's daughter Lesley, a speech and language therapist, was putting in a 60-hour week in the UK - but now works fewer hours, often finishing by lunchtime. Despite reduved hours, her salary is now 50 per cent higher than it was in the UK – and her job is much less stressful. While groceries largely cost the same, accommodation is nearly £700 cheaper per month. Instead of monthly mortgage payments of £2,500 the family now pay the equivalent of £1,800. 'The cost of living in the UK was so high,' Lesley said. 'I was working six days out of seven and doing a 60-hour week. Our mortgage was £350,000 and we were paying £2,500 monthly. 'We haven't bought a house in Australia yet – we are renting at the moment - but we are paying £1,800 a month which is a lot less. 'We are in a four-bedroom house with a pool, just 15 minutes drive from the beach and 20 minutes drive from the city centre. Pete with Lara and Annabelle on a family day out 'Instead of working six days a week I am working two full day and four half days, and I finish by 1.30pm.' Despite working fewer hours, Lesley is earning more money than she did in the UK. 'My salary is 50 per cent higher than it was in the UK. I was earning £50,000 a year before we moved, now I'm on the equivalent of £75,000.' An added bonus is that her salary stretches further due to cheaper utility bills. 'Gas and electricity is half what it costs in the UK,' she said. 'Cars are more expensive to buy but petrol is 50 per cent cheaper. Groceries cost about the same. Bread and pasta are more expensive, but meat is significantly cheaper.' However, there are some additional costs they didn't have in the UK. It costs £20 for a GP visit (free for children) and the family are paying for private health insurance. Lesley, who lived in Australia previously in the 90s, also cautioned that the cost does vary depending on which part of Australia you live in, with Sydney and Melbourne being more expensive than Perth. Both children have settled easily into their new schools and the family were impressed to see new subjects on the curriculum – stressing that budgeting is so important but not usually taught in the UK. 'Our eldest child is at a school that is in the top five in the state. She is learning Japanese and astronomy,' Lesley explained. 'She is learning about budgeting at school - mortgages, interest rates and how to read bank statements. There is a better variety of subjects on the curriculum and it's more interesting and fun. Jill's top tips for pensioners looking to emigrate to Australia Be aware that you have to check your visa small print very carefully to know what you are and aren't eligible for here. Jill has a self-supporting retiree visa. So although she is free to leave and re-enter Australia as much as she wants (some retirement visas don't), she gets no medical assistance from the Australian Government other than emergency medical care (e.g. visit to A & E - as reciprocal agreement between Oz and UK for this). She has private medical insurance but it doesn't cover everything. Join the Senior Citizens Centre – It's a good way of meeting people from the UK who are a similar age. Jill gets to go to something every day - indoor bowls, coffee mornings, art classes etc. Get to know the bus routes so you have your independence. 'A major impetus for us moving when we did was Lara starting secondary school. In Perth the school academic year runs from January to December and we timed the move so that she started on the first day of secondary school.' Lesley says the family are much happier since making the move. 'It's a better work/life balance. We are happier, it's better for the kids. It's always sunny and hot so everyone is in a better mood. We are all less stressed and more relaxed. 'It's an easier, slower-paced way of living. Life is less manic and much calmer,' she said. 'Because it's always sunny we are always out and about. In the UK we were cooped up indoors but in the summer here we sit out in the garden every evening. We spend our weekends at bbqs, at the beach or visiting waterfalls. We've even seen wild kangaroos at the rubbish tip.' Lesley admits she was concerned about how her mother would manage, and is relieved to see her settling in so well. 'She's made friends with lots of British ex pats her age. She goes four days week to the senior citizens club, she goes to art club and coffee mornings and now goes out with friends she's met at the coffee mornings,' Lesley said. Lesley previously lived in Australia for 10 years from 1993-2003. She has an Australian passport and both children have had dual UK and Australia passports since they were three months old. Pete is on a spousal visa and Jill is on a self-supporting retiree visa. She said that the only downside is missing family and friends in the UK, especially on occasions like Christmas. 'It felt very strange to spend Christmas Day on the beach and to see people putting up decorations when it was so hot,' she said. 'We tried to cook a traditional Christmas dinner but because it was so hot the chicken went off. 'I also really miss Amazon deliveries. You have to order two to three weeks in advance because things take so long to get here. 'But we have no regrets about leaving the UK - only that we didn't do it sooner.'

Summer without cherry pie? Michigan's signature crop faces battery of threats
Summer without cherry pie? Michigan's signature crop faces battery of threats

The Guardian

time38 minutes ago

  • The Guardian

Summer without cherry pie? Michigan's signature crop faces battery of threats

Nearly 100 years ago, north-west Michigan cherry farmers and Traverse City community leaders started a festival to promote the city and their region's tart cherry crop as a tourist destination. Now known as the 'cherry capital of the world', Traverse City's National Cherry Festival draws 500,000 visitors over eight days to this picturesque Lake Michigan beach town to enjoy carnival rides and airshows, and to eat cherries. It also sparked a thriving agrotourism industry amid its rolling hills that now boasts dozens of shops, wineries, U-pick orchards, and farm-to-table restaurants helmed by James Beard-award-winning chefs. All the sunshine, hustle and bustle, however, can't hide an ugly truth: Michigan's cherry farmers are in dire straits. Climate change, development, labor shortages and tariffs threaten their ability to grow one of Michigan's signature crops. Cherries are the epitome of Michigan's 'specialty crop' production that also includes apples, asparagus and other fruit and vegetable crops. Altogether, the total economic impact of Michigan's specialty crop industry is $6.3bn, according to Michigan State University. The state overall grows 75% of the US's tart cherries, most coming from multigenerational family farmers in the unique microclimate along Lake Michigan's eastern shore, with the bulk of production in the north-west. 'Cherries are a volatile crop all of the time. But over the last 10 to 15 years, we've really seen more of those ups and downs,' says Emily Miezio, a second-generation farmer and part-owner of Cherry Bay Orchards in Leelanau county. Climate change makes early spring hazardous for northern Michigan fruit farmers. Lake Michigan's sandy soils and cool breezes are ideal for cherry production, but warmer temperatures cause trees to break dormancy earlier, making them more susceptible to late brief cold spells, such as what happened this year. A prime example of the weather volatility happened in late April when a cold snap damaged the fruit-producing flower buds. Farmers will start picking cherries in mid-July, and Dr Nikki Rothwell, extension specialist and Northwest Michigan Horticulture Research Center coordinator at MSU, estimates north-west Michigan will harvest 30m pounds, versus 100m last year. Climate change is causing other adverse weather events. Rothwell says the late-April temperatures weren't typically cold enough to harm buds, but wind accompanied the cold, which caused unexpected damage since previously scientists didn't think wind chill harmed trees. A rare hailstorm in June also caused some damage. Rothwell says an unusually dry fall may have left cherry trees susceptible as well. 'It blows my mind a little bit as a scientist because you think you can find answers in the chaos … but I feel like we're always being thrown curveballs,' she says. Land prices are rising sharply as wealthier residents move to the area seeking either primary residences or vacation homes, and developers can edge out farmers for prime orchard land, often on top of rolling hills that offer scenic vistas. Labor issues are also hampering cherry production. The supply chain relies on a mix of local and migrant labor, and there is a shortage of both. Some migrant laborers are hired through the H-2A visa, a temporary work visa for agricultural jobs, and some migrant laborers are undocumented, says Dr David Ortega, a professor at MSU's department of agricultural, food and resource economics. Cherrypicking is often done mechanically, but packing and processing relies on human labor. Ortega says producers and other stakeholders have seen how Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids make some workers afraid to show up because of deportation fears. Without enough agricultural workers, many of Michigan's specialty crops could spoil. Specialty crop farmers rely on shared equipment, facilities and workers, and this interdependency means the loss of one crop has a domino effect. Unlike farmers who grow annual crops such as grains, cherry trees can produce for nearly 30 years and farmers need to continually care for trees even when they lose money. Estimates by MSU show the land, operational and harvest costs for productive farmers is about 44 cents a pound, but last year the average farmer received 11 cents a pound for cherries. Tariffs are a double-edged sword for Michigan farmers, Ortega says. Farmers will pay more for imported fertilizer or equipment, and tariff uncertainty makes it harder to plan. However, farmers may see a slight benefit from tariffs if it raises the costs of imported cherries, as the food industry relies on imports to meet year-round consumer demand, he adds. Local retailers also work with farmers. Bob Sutherland, founder of Cherry Republic, a regional, 37-year-old cherry-focused snack and gift retailer, works exclusively with local farmers and other suppliers to promote the area's bounty. The firm's longstanding relationships means Cherry Republic can acquire enough local cherries to ensure a year-round supply. Still, the destination-retailer has allowed some cranberries and blueberries as part of their line of more than 200 products out of necessity because of climate change's unpredictability, he adds. Michigan's farmers are facing stiff odds, but Rothwell says despite all the hardships, farmers remain optimistic. 'Every spring they're like, 'this is it. This our year. We're gonna do it.' They always remain optimistic,' she says.

Delaware law change could drive up fast food prices
Delaware law change could drive up fast food prices

Daily Mail​

time41 minutes ago

  • Daily Mail​

Delaware law change could drive up fast food prices

Ten states and the District of Columbia have banned a popular fast food to-go container that could mean takeouts are about to get more expensive for customers. Earlier this week, Delaware joined the cohort of states and the capital that have banned Styrofoam containers in the fast food industry. The restaurant industry has often leaned on the white, creaky material because it insulated food for roughly 14 cents per container, compared to a biodegradable option that typically runs for around 25 cents. 'It could be something that affects us when it comes to pricing [of our food],' Ezell Barnes, who owns a Delaware food truck called Zoagies, told Delaware Online. 'We already exist on razor-thin profit margins.' CEO of the Delaware Restaurant Association, Carrie Leishman, said the new ban could largely affect small businesses and potentially run them into the ground. 'The stain which this could place on a small business could end so many of them,' she told the outlet. The Delaware ban follows that of California, Oregon, and Rhode Island, which outlawed the material January 1, 2025. The first US state to ban the product was Maine in January 2021. The law was signed in 2019 by Governor Janet Mills, but didn't go into effect until 2021. The Delaware bill was signed in 2022, but went into effect on Tuesday. 'Polystyrene cannot be recycled like a lot of other products, so while that cup of coffee may be finished, the Styrofoam cup it was in is not,' Mill said in 2019. 'In fact, it will be around for decades to come and eventually it will break down into particles, polluting our environment, hurting our wildlife, and even detrimentally impacting our economy.' New York also signed its law in 2019 under former Governor Andrew Cuomo. It went into effect in 2022. A 2024 waste study by the Department of Sanitation in New York City showed that polystyrene - what Styrofoam is made of - decreased 54 percent by weight between 2017 and 2023. The Empire State was one of the first states to ban plastic bags in March 2020, seeing a decrease of 67 percent between 2017 and 2023, the study found. California was the first to ban plastic bags in 2014 and will enact another law in 2026 prohibiting the sale of 'reusable' plastic bags that are thicker. The Golden State has vowed to cut single-use plastics by 25 percent by 2032 and to recycle 65 percent of what's left. It shift to recycled plastic in the same time frame, according to Cal Recycle. Californians throw out 290 Olympic pool-sized worth of plastic each day. Styrofoam takes 500 years to decompose and it cannot be recycled, like glass and certain types of plastic. The material also leaks large amounts of ozone in the atmosphere, which causes environmental and respiratory issues, according to Colgate University. Styrofoam is estimated to take up roughly 30 percent of the US' landfills, with around 5billion pounds of it, according to Heal The Planet.

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