I spent thousands building my influencer brand. Now I have nothing to show for it.
When I started posting content in 2012, it was drugstore makeup and inexpensive fashion. I thought, "I can show people how to style themselves without breaking the bank."
I didn't start making money right away, but after I had my first child, I knew I wanted to take content creating a bit more seriously. Within a year of dedicating my time to my personal blog and content, my traffic grew and just kept growing.
Almost three years later, I took a chance and started creating content full-time. Over the course of my career, there were times I made a good amount of money on brand deals in the fashion and beauty space. Once I switched my content from fashion and lifestyle to parenting, my audience and income disappeared.
The industry has really changed. It has shifted.
I spent so much time and money building my brand
When I started posting online 13 years ago, I had just gotten married and moved from New York to Massachusetts. I hadn't started a family or a job yet, and so I started watching YouTube tutorials to learn how to do my makeup.
I spent thousands of dollars building my network. I remember flying to LA, New York, and beauty conferences. I would do desk-side chats with editors of different magazines and brands. I put in a lot of work offline with the networking and the community.
I then joined an ad network called Mediavine and was making thousands of dollars a month.
Then the real money came between 2018 and 2022.
I started getting a lot more brand deals in the beauty and fashion space, and some in the lifestyle space. I did deals with Walmart, Lee Jeans, Dunkin Donuts, Cantu, and more.
There were periods where I was just a full-time creator, and then I added consulting and in-house gigs, and then I went back to being a full-time creator until 2023.
Once I switched to parenting content, it was like starting over
When I switched my handle from @Lisaalamode to @Consciouslylisa_, in 2022, I lost my brand equity.
I changed my content because I didn't feel in alignment with who my online persona was anymore. I was really burned out, and I didn't want to pretend to live a life that I wasn't living.
In hindsight, I was always the mom, and I always took that role very seriously. But truly, I spent a lot more time building this brand and business than I did being a mom to my son. I started sharing about conscious parenting, and even though my followers transferred to my new name, my old handle was deactivated.
People unfollowed me, which I didn't take issue with, but I lost a lot of my brand deals.
Between 2020 to 2023 were some peak years for people to come in and take over the influencer industry
After the branding transition, I had a few contracts with Babyganics in 2023. I also tried getting into travel content, and I got some deals with a tourism board in 2023. Last year, I did some partnerships with Aura, but that was basically it.
Changing my content played a big role in the demise of my brand and career, but this industry also exploded during the pandemic.
A lot of these kids who had been watching people like me for years have now come of age, and they've learned how to do it all better and faster. They're not encumbered with households and children. They can put in the time that I did in my earlier years.
I may have aged out of the industry, although there are plenty of older creators who are doing well.
The industry is oversaturated, and the money dried up
What brands want from partnerships seems to have changed as well. When I was coming up, these campaigns were predominantly brand awareness campaigns. Your engagement wasn't a huge factor in the way it is now.
Engagement is definitely harder to get because the industry is oversaturated with creators now.
Mediavine kicked me out in 2023 because I wasn't bringing in the traffic anymore. I had to convince myself that I still have value. I spent a lot of time, energy, money, and resources. Now I feel I have nothing to show for it.
The money I make now does not compare to what I made as a beauty and fashion creator
At this point, I have two content pillars: fashion and travel, and sensory-friendly activities for autistic families.
My kids are autistic, my husband's autistic, and I'm also neurodivergent. It's important for us to find spaces that are inclusive, and I want to continue to share more of that on social media.
It's not that it hasn't been well received, but in some ways, it feels like I'm talking to myself.
I also launched my jewelry brand, The Consciously Lisa Collection, last November. Any income that I make is solely from that business.
There's no comparison to what I made as a creator. I was about to buy a house with the money I was making. I cannot live on the money I make now with my jewelry brand.
I'm trying to find a new job, but it's tough
There are girls in the industry that I came up with who are millionaires and still doing well. I'm sure I've made a lot of mistakes along the way that have contributed to things being the way they are for me.
I'm now going back into the workforce older. Do I have experience? Absolutely. Am I capable? Of course, but I feel I'm not desired in the workforce. They don't want to hire 40-year-old moms. It's just not what it is.
Right now, I homeschool, but we can't afford after-school care. So if I can somehow find a work-from-home job that allows me to pick up and drop off the kids, then it'll work.
I don't want to go back to work full-time because I like having my autonomy, my schedule, and my ability to really be there for my kids. But I also look forward to a time when my feelings of worthiness aren't tied to something that's so completely out of my control, like algorithms.

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