Taste Test: Malört candies don't disappoint
Why it matters: New Malört Sucks candies open the horrors of Chicago's favorite cult beverage to a whole new segment of the population: non-drinkers.
The backstory: After creating a jokey social media post about fictional Malört candies last April 1, Malört maker CH Distillery got so many requests for the product it decided to launch real ones this year.
What they're saying: "We are excited to bring Malört Sucks hard candies to our loyal fans across the country, giving them exactly what they asked for — another bad idea," CH CEO Tremaine Atkinson said in a statement.
The verdict: These little suckers greet you with a butterscotchy sweetness that quickly gives way to notes of grapefruit peel and chloroquine. In other words, Malört fans will love them.
Others will probably want to save these for pranks only.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
USA Today
15-07-2025
- USA Today
I drank a Malört-infused beer. Here's how it tastes (oof).
New Belgium isn't resting on its laurels. Their Voodoo Ranger has helped make the Colorado outfit the best selling craft brewery in the country. Still, they're finding new ways to punish drinkers. Naturally, when the good folks at Jeppsen's Malört heard about this, they saw an opportunity that could not be passed up. Thus, we now live in a world where Malört isn't just the shot you avoid until your Chicago-adjacent buddies bully you into drinking one. It's also in a six pack of otherwise enjoyable IPAs. And the twist, beyond dropping a liquor that tastes like moss learned how to vomit into a perfectly good beer? Only one beer in the pack is tainted with Chicago Glory, and you have no idea which one it is. Roll the dice and you've either got an 83 percent chance of a normal, perfectly solid pale ale or a 17 percent shot to get one that someone dropped a peppermint coated in motor oil and hair into (this seems harsh on Malört. Do not feel bad for them. They know what they did). Here's what I looked like failing my roulette IPA task. WARNING: Language is NSFW, because I am drinking Malört. I truly apologize for the face I am making in the freeze frame below. New Belgium came up with a brilliant, terrible idea. IPA roulette. Six beers. 5 are regular Voodoo Ranger. The sixth? MALORT INFUSED IPA. and you don't know which is which. did my unlucky ass immediately pick the MALORT on the first try? friend, I think you know the answer already And here's my full breakdown on a gag beer that, honestly, is better than I expected (but still not good). New Belgium Voodoo Ranger x Malort IPA: C- God bless, this was the VERY FIRST BEER I PICKED. Every can looked the same, with zero indicator of the contents within. I made it a point not to smell it beforehand and... yep, peppermint motor oil and burnt hair. At first you think it's a regular beer, then you are quickly, harshly reminded it is not. I will give credit where it is due. It works a little better than expected. It smells like something a doctor in a plague mask would rub on your stomach to assuage the humours causing your gout. It tastes like sandpaper feels. But there's something about the earthen quality to it that isn't terrible. It's not *good,* certainly, but it feels like it's better than it has any right being. It works with the bitterness of the hops instead of fighting against it. It's still a novelty beer, but one that wouldn't be an awful addition to a lineup of five ounce pours in a flight. 12 ounces? Too much. Waaaaay too much. But there's a minor Christmas ale influence to it that feels familiar beyond "I'm in Chicago and about to have the worst hangover of my life." That's a lot of words to say it's not the worst thing I've drank for USA Today. Each burp, however, is a waking nightmare unto itself. I should not be allowed around people.
Yahoo
10-07-2025
- Yahoo
'It's All Happening!' New 'Twisted Metal' Season 2 Trailer Brings the Chaos
Although Twisted Metal Season 1 carried the title of the famous video game series, the actual Twisted Metal tournament didn't occur. But that oversight has been corrected in Season 2 since this time, the new batch of episodes will be totally focused on the eponymous tournament. Peacock has just released a new, much longer trailer for Twisted Metal Season 2, and it basically looks like the video game has fully come to life. Check it out below. Set to the 2001 Ludacris track "Move B**ch," the new trailer is frenetic, action-packed, and refreshingly funny. Anthony Mackie and Stephanie Beatriz are back as John Doe and Quiet, partners and drivers in a dystopian world, hoping to bring freedom to everyone. If they win the tournament, the mysterious Calypso (Anthony Carrigan) promises to grant one wish. How this will happen or if the tournament can actually be won, remains to be seen. Appropriately, the trailer is filled with the raw vehicular carnage that fans have come to expect from the franchise. The trailer also has a great deal of humor, and maybe hints at a bit of romance between John and Quiet. Here's the synopsis from Peacock: "Following the revelations in the season one finale, John and Quiet find themselves entering the deadly TWISTED METAL tournament, a sinister demolition derby hosted by a mysterious man known as Calypso. As they try to survive an onslaught of dangerous new foes and familiar faces alike, including the murderous clown Sweet Tooth, things get complicated for John when he reunites with his long-lost sister, the vigilante Dollface."'It's All Happening!' New 'Twisted Metal' Season 2 Trailer Brings the Chaos first appeared on Men's Journal on Jul 9, 2025
Yahoo
11-06-2025
- Yahoo
How Lil Wayne Became The Kobe Bryant of Rap
On Friday (June 6), Lil Wayne continued his beloved decade-spanning series, Tha Carter, with the installment's sixth entry. With a career built on longevity, evolution and unrelenting dominance, Wayne's career arc is rare, but similar to that of another cultural titan: the Black Mamba, the late NBA great Kobe Bryant. Kobe defied physics with his aerial acrobatics and rim-rocking jams. Wayne trounced his competition with punishing punchlines and steely wordplay. More from Billboard Chappell Roan Did the Viral 'Apple' Dance During Charli xcx's Primavera Sound Set: 'Love You B-ch!' 50 Years Ago, Elton John Became First Artist to Enter Billboard 200 at No. 1 - Just How 'Fantastic' Was the Feat? New Jersey Man Arrested For Allegedly Stealing Heart Instruments Like Wayne, Bryant's early beginnings were rocky. Drafted by the Charlotte Hornets in the 1996 NBA Draft, a 17-year-old Bryant was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers for Vlade Divac. Bryant, who was a heralded high school phenom at Lower Merion in Philadelphia, was relegated to the bench his rookie season, backing up Eddie Jones. His minutes were inconsistent. He averaged a putrid six points per game. He shot four airballs in a crucial playoff game against the Utah Jazz. Lakers head coach Del Harris wasn't keen on playing the rookie, though fans saw the spark. When Bryant showed glimmers of greatness, even in small increments, we stopped and took notice. Wayne's career started earlier than Bryant's. He signed with Cash Money at 11, before dropping Tha Block is Hot at 17. Powered by Juvenile, B.G., and Turk, Wayne was a young upstart, sliding in as an edgy wildcard capable of pouncing on any beat with ruthless intentions. Raw and unpolished, Wayne's swaggering energy was the catalyst for hits like 'Bling Bling' and 'We on Fire.' Before vaulting into superstar territory, Wayne was a quintessential role player, playing alongside starry teammates — most notably, Juvenile. Juvie enjoyed a fruitful run in the late '90s, courtesy of his RIAA-certified 4x platinum album 400 Degreez, and the success of 'Ha' and 'Back That Thang Up.' Like Bryant, who played alongside three all-star caliber talents in Jones, Nick Van Exel and Shaquille O'Neal, Wayne bided his time behind rap vets. But, when Wayne and Bryant's names were called, neither flinched under the bright lights. For both superstars, it wasn't about endorsements and commercials. Their wins didn't happen overnight. They trudged through the mud, battled against rivals, and tried to usurp their idols. Kobe had MJ. Wayne had Jay. Still, their admiration never blurred their undying ambition: Bryant's 'Mamba Mentality' was fueled by obsessiveness. After thousands of hours in the film room, Bryant's level of authority on the court mirrored Wayne's unmatched studio effort. When Bryant delivered masterclasses on how to be clutch, Wayne taught MCs how to be prolific, dropping thousands of songs with charm and wit. Bryant was considered a flashy dunker, a human highlight reel devoid of a jumper. With hard work and dedication, he became a gutsy shot-taker, a five-time NBA champion, and spiritual backbone for a dynasty. As for Wayne, he flipped the script from being a Hot Boy sidekick to a mixtape monster and later a rap icon, all without a pen. Wayne and Bryant scoffed at their respective scouting reports during their rookie years and rewrote their legacies. From Bryant's nine-game streak of 40 points in February 2003 to his sacred 81-point game in January 2006, to even his seven-game winners in the 09-10 season, he was considered the gold standard of the NBA's first decade of the 21st century, while Wayne's Carter series and fiery mixtape run with Da Drought and Dedication simultaneously had him in the Best Rapper Alive category. Kobe chased NBA greatness. Wayne chased lyrical immortality. Different courts. Same mentality. Best of Billboard Chart Rewind: In 1989, New Kids on the Block Were 'Hangin' Tough' at No. 1 Janet Jackson's Biggest Billboard Hot 100 Hits H.E.R. & Chris Brown 'Come Through' to No. 1 on Adult R&B Airplay Chart
