
Sometimes the Best Gift Is Time Alone
As the masseuse began my head massage, I took a deep breath and chuckled inwardly about the awkward positions I'd gotten myself into earlier during a one-on-one aerial yoga class. That had come after a six-mile walking tour across the city, visiting churches, hidden garden courtyards and paying homage to Pasquino, one of the Eternal City's ancient talking statues where Romans to this day leave notes with comments on societal and political issues.
This massage was the last treatment of my four-day spa trip to the Italian capital, and I was rejuvenated to head home and resume the glorious chaos of my London life.
It was my 87-year-old mother, on an extended visit, who had observed that I needed to slow down. She watched as I tried to balance the busy social life of my energetic 7-year-old twins, volunteered at their school, accepted various work commissions, prepared edits for a new book I had coming out, and helped run a small but very active grass-roots advocacy organization in my home state of Michigan. She could tell that her divorced daughter was tapped out.
So, I decided to give myself the gift of 'me' time.
It was an opportunity for a reboot, doing things that I loved — shopping, spa treatments, sightseeing — with no agenda and the freedom to choose whether I wanted to interact with anyone.
Turns out, I am not the only one who, like Greta Garbo in 'Grand Hotel,' wanted 'to be alone.' This desire to find solitude, whether by attending an ayurvedic retreat in Bali or going solo to a museum in Brussels, often comes about because we have too many demands of our time, said Thuy-vy Nguyen, an associate professor in psychology at the University of Durham in England who is the principal investigator at the Solitude Lab, which researches the effects of being alone.
'We do need balance and equilibrium,' Dr. Nguyen said. 'When we have too much going on, we usually describe that as stress, feeling overwhelmed. And solitude is usually just a convenient space for that, because that's the time where you don't have social feedback, and some people really need to just get away and be on their own.'
Just as Henry David Thoreau found solitude near Walden Pond in the 19th century, my friend Ewa Switek, a mother of two teenagers in Warsaw, has learned the joys of 'me' time. She has traveled across Europe many times by herself and last year, on a solo trip, she discovered that she loves mountain trekking. Her goal now is to climb all 28 peaks of the Crown of Polish Mountains (Korona Gor Polski), mostly on her own. So far, she has conquered 18.
'From time to time, you have had enough of everything,' she said. 'You can spend your time without any plan or strictly with a plan, but it's your plan, not anyone else's.'
And there are a lot of options for doing something on your own, whether by traveling across an ocean or going out alone to a film or a local restaurant. It's just about having some time to escape from your madding crowd.
If you, like Ewa, find that communing with nature helps, the Gutsy Girls, a British adventure travel company founded by a woman, has four hiking trips at different skill levels scheduled to take place in Norway this summer, with yoga, sauna and outdoor swimming as part of the package (£1,125 or $1,430, which includes accommodation and food). They are group trips, but welcome people who come on their own.
Or a trip to the Namib Desert in Namibia might do the trick. While staying at Kulala Desert Lodge (starting at about $348 per night), you could take advantage of the lodge's offerings, by going on a guided hike through the 1,000-foot-high dunes, cycling along the plains on an electric fat-tire bike or taking a balloon trip over the landscape that seems to stretch to eternity, truly getting away from it all.
For creative types, there are numerous retreats to get the artistic juices flowing. New this year is a 10-day writing retreat to Mongolia through Himalayan Writing Retreat in June ($4,400; travel not included; participants selected on application).
After two days of sightseeing in Ulaanbaatar, wordsmiths head to Kharkhorin, the town that was the Mongol Empire's capital in the 13th century, where the retreat truly begins.
'People want to escape their everyday sameness and seek inspiration and creative stimulation,' Chetan Mahajan, the co-founder of Himalayan Writing Retreat, wrote in an email. 'Most participants come alone. Given the goal of focusing on the important work one is pursuing, and improving the craft, participants usually don't want the distraction of a fellow traveler.' Mr. Mahajan and the writer Erika Krouse will lead the retreat.
If self-reflection comes better through a piece of clay, La Meridiana in Tuscany offers classes all year long, including a weeklong hand building course (€1,700 [$1,770] tuition) in March and a course on creating contemporary porcelain jewelry (€1,900 tuition) with Luca Tripaldi, a sculptor, in July.
Finding inner peace and meditation in a countryside setting is what the Sharpham Trust, in the English county of Devon, offers throughout the year with its three-day retreats. Through guided meditation, periods of silence and walks through the trust's Capability Brown-designed parkland, the sessions would be an opportunity to start learning how to ground yourself or a chance to brush up your skills (prices start at £395 for single occupancy, which includes room and board).
Or if doing diet and detox as part of your yoga experience sounds ideal, the Dharana retreat in India's Maharashtra state offers a five, seven or 14-day Art of Detox program that includes cupping, an infrared detoxifying sauna and a consultation with a nutrition expert, as well as all meals (starting at $850 a night).
Of course there also are lots of less expensive options that don't require long-distance travel, such as a massage or a night at the movies, a concert or the theater.
Kevin O'Neill of Ann Arbor, Mich., the father of 3-year-old identical triplet girls, recently did that, driving 40 minutes into Detroit for an evening of sushi and a musical. 'It was empowering,' he said.
Since his solo night out, he and his husband have talked about trying to carve out more time for each of them, and as a couple.
'It makes you a better parent,' he said, 'it lets me come back to them and be fully charged again.'
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As I planned my first visit to Florence, I knew the trip would be filled with delicious Italian pasta, pizza, and pastries. But I never could have predicted that my favorite meal would come from a cooking class. My experience with Pasta Class Florence featured three delicious pastas, including an unforgettable ragù tagliatelle, and tips and tricks for re-creating them at home. Here's why it was the highlight of my trip to Florence. I found Pasta Class Florence while browsing on Airbnb Experiences. In addition to a 4.99-star rating and over 6,000 reviews, what drew me to Pasta Class Florence was the "About Me" description from its owner, Michele Gualtieri. The Michelin-trained chef credited his grandmother with teaching him everything he knows and said he started the class in her kitchen back in 2018. His goal was to take others to the "magical world of pasta." What better world could there be? After a quick Google search, my fiancé Peter realized we could book the three-hour class — which was 92 euros, or about $108, a person — through its website instead of Airbnb. We were happy to save a few dollars and pay the small company directly! I was drawn to the fact that the class seemed to host smaller workshops than its competitors. Only seven people, including Peter and me, attended the 10 a.m. class we took in June. We all had plenty of space at the massive wooden table that was our workstation for the day. Each person stood behind a small mountain of flour with two eggs nestled in the center. Before we began making pasta, our instructor, Simone Strazzulo, prepped the ragù. Like Gualtieri, the founder of Pasta Class Florence, Strazzulo is a Michelin-trained chef. After working in London, Strazzulo — who began cooking in restaurants when he was 14 — wanted to return home. He shared his story with us while chopping the veggies for our soffrito as the meat sizzled in a nearby pan. Once it had caramelized, Strazzulo added the soffrito, plus herbs, tomato paste, and red wine. The ragù needed to be cooked on low heat for at least two hours to develop flavor. By the time we were done making pasta, it would be ready. It was time to make pasta! We made a well in our pile of "00" flour and cracked each egg in the middle, using a fork to break up the yolks as we created our dough. After kneading and rolling out our dough by hand, we made our first pasta shape. Our first dish was tortelli, a stuffed pasta that's a bit larger in size than tortellini. Per Strazzulo's instructions, I carefully scooped small balls of my cheese mixture to dot across the blanket of dough. As we worked, Strazzulo filled our glasses with a delicious Tuscan red. Did I mention this class included bottomless wine? I was surprised by how easy it was to make the homemade pasta. We also learned how to make homemade agnolotti and tagliatelle. Strazzulo showed us how to fold our leftover dough and use a knife to cut the ribbons, which were revealed in appropriately dramatic fashion as we slid our knife underneath them. (This TikTok has a great visual demo of the technique.) As Strazzulo worked on the pasta sauces, he gave us his top Florence recommendations. Another thing I appreciated about the class was that we were sent an extensive list of recommendations for our Italy trip. It included everything you could want from Florence — restaurants, wine tours, cheese and sandwich shops, gelato, and cocktails, as well as additional tips for those traveling to Milan, Rome, or Bologna afterward. The following night, we used the list to find a pizza spot and had a lovely dinner at Il Pizzaiuolo, which had one of the best gnocchi dishes I've ever tasted. The list also directed us to Locale, a chic and creative cocktail bar. Our first dish was the tortelli, served with a sauce of brown butter and sage. The sauce couldn't be easier. Strazzulo infused the butter with sage and garlic cloves, allowing it to melt and bubble until it browned. He cooked the tortelli in a separate pot, adding some pasta water to our brown-butter sauce. This was when we learned a secret to Italian cuisine. Strazzulo finished cooking the pasta in the pan, allowing it to absorb more flavor and make the sauce even creamier. Once the pan was off the heat, he added a shower of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese and allowed it to melt. The result was a silky and comforting dish with warm notes from the nutty browned butter, plus a salty kick from all that cheese. Delicious. Next up was the agnolotti. What I loved about the sauce for this dish was the surprise of lime zest. Strazzulo first mixed some chopped garlic and chiles, which he cooked in a pan with olive oil and pepper. More pasta water went into the simple sauce, as did the agnolotti when it was time to finish cooking the noodles. Just before turning off the heat, Strazzulo added dill and grated the lime zest on top. It was a bright, zingy, and unexpected dish that I loved. I've never considered adding lime zest to pasta, but now I can't wait to try it at home. Our last pasta was the delicious tagliatelle ragù. As with the previous two dishes, Strazzulo finished cooking our tagliatelle in the ragù sauce. The shower of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese arrived once it was off the heat. Tagliatelle is my favorite pasta shape, and the homemade ribbons were the perfect vehicle for the rich ragù sauce filled with tender meat. Peter and I spent two-and-a-half weeks in Europe, and this remained in our top three dishes of the entire trip. We walked out of Pasta Class Florence very happy, very stuffed, and very excited to try the recipes at home. The most important lesson of the day, though, had nothing to do with pasta. Sometimes, the best meal is waiting in the most unexpected place.