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Julia Stiles reveals past struggle with disordered eating that was triggered by industry pressures

Julia Stiles reveals past struggle with disordered eating that was triggered by industry pressures

Daily Mail​23-05-2025
Julia Stiles opened up about years of secretly struggling with disordered eating and body image issues as a result of relentless society and industry pressures.
The actress, 44, who has three children with her husband Preston Cook, added that only since becoming a mother did she start to heal her relationship with food.
She said: 'In my twenties and early thirties, being an actress, there was so much focus on your appearance and how you're going to fit into certain clothes.'
Julia added: 'I'm not the first person to say this - and even coming from a mother who never emphasised those things - food and all that stuff was so stressful.'
Speaking on the latest episode of How to Fail With Elizabeth Day, the actress explained: 'I couldn't help but have a disordered relationship with it all.
'I'm not talking about an eating disorder - it was just restrictive, regimented, stressful. I always worried that it was going to be out of my control. Like, what if I gain weight?
Julia continued: 'There was stress around what your body looks like and trying to mould your body into a certain size.
'As an actress, we go and promote on a red carpet, and we have to wear sample sizes from fashion designers. So it's always, "Are we going to fit into the sample size?"'
Julia the revealed the useful advice she was told by fellow actress Julia Roberts, 57, while they were filming the 2003 movie, Mona Lisa Smile.
Julia said: 'She was an amazing example for us, and she was so maternal with all the young women on that set. She was coming from a lot of experience of being not just a woman, but also a woman where your appearance is focused on so heavily.
'She said to us, "You're going to look back on these photos of you in your twenties and be like, I was beautiful - why didn't I see that?" And she's totally right!'
Julia now has three children - Strummer, seven, Arlo, three, and Henry, two - with her husband Preston, a camera assistant whom she met on the set of Blackway.
They married in 2017 after being engaged for two years.
Julia said: 'I think my relationship with my body and food and diet and exercise and my appearance radically changed when I had kids.
'Being pregnant, nourishing a baby, growing a baby, all that stuff - and then also directing a movie, which is similar to having a baby in some ways - creatively and spiritually.
'When I decided I wanted to have kids, I started looking at things differently: I need this machine to work, so I need to fuel my body and I need to nourish it and I need to fuel this baby and nourish it. And everything just fell into place. I relaxed.
'I naturally wanted to eat the things that were going to make me feel better and help me grow. It all just became easier.
'And having a baby - three babies now - I'm like, woah, my body can do magical, wonderful, amazing things. And when I relaxed and I started to trust it more, everything fell into place. It's doing totally what it's supposed to do.'
Julia has just directed her first feature film, Wish You Were Here, which she says has also helped to change her attitude to diet and her body to be more positive.
She said: 'It was the first time I was on a film set - seeing cameras, grips and electrics, hair, makeup, and the costume department - and I wasn't stressed about the snack table.
'With directing, I'm not focused on every little detail of my appearance. I'm focused outward on the task at hand. So I don't have time to think about all the imperfections.
'I actually need to fuel my body so that I can get through the 15-hour workday... If I have the afternoon to get through and I'm losing energy, I'm going to have some M&M's and I don't care. Or I need this egg sandwich in the morning because I need my brain to focus and I need energy.'
Declaring her past body image issues 'a waste of f***ing time', Julia added that, sadly, she believes a lot of women silently struggle with similar problems.
She said: 'I've moved on. I've learned to be kinder in the way I think about my body and look at my body - to be kinder to myself but also trust your body... When I got pregnant, had children - even going into labour - trusting my body that it would know what to do just changed everything on a cellular level. And the same thing with directing a movie.
'I would be running on fumes, like, no sleep having just had a five-month-old baby. I didn't have time to think about, am I going to get back in shape to fit into those sample sizes?'
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'Being adopted had left a huge hole in my past and, subsequently, my heart. I frequently mourned the relationships I lost, which felt selfish. "I questioned whether I felt that way because of how I had hurt the other person, or because I had hurt myself. "We are not good or bad – we're a mix of all the feelings, and we choose which one is allowed to poke its head above water.' Even now, Kari still wrestles with the big question of why she did what she did. 'I knew what I was doing wasn't right,' she says. After her release from jail, Kari met Elliot while on probation in Utah. He was in the military and staying at the same hotel where she worked as a live-in cook. She wrote in her book: 'I felt supported and loved, and I had a dude – who I didn't even have to lie to, nor did I want to – who wanted to support and take care of me.' Kari went on to work in offices and was honest with HR departments about her past, but went by her middle name, Michelle, and kept her colleagues in the dark. 8 Other high profile scammers The "Yahoo Boys" Scams Estimate losses: Billions of dollars globally Originating from Nigeria, this group of fraudsters uses fake online identities to lure victims into romantic relationships. Victims are often manipulated into sending money under the pretense of emergencies, travel costs, or gifts. The Tinder Swindler Estimated Losses: Over $10 million from multiple women Simon Leviev (real name Shimon Hayut) posed as the son of a diamond mogul on Tinder, living a lavish lifestyle to gain trust. Once involved romantically, he would claim his life was in danger and ask for money. The Anna Sorokin Case Estimated losses: $275,000 stolen Anna Delvey pretended to be a wealthy German heiress, defrauding friends and businesses in the social circles of NYC. While not a traditional romance scam, she used charm and false identity in personal relationships. It didn't always work out, though. On several occasions, co-workers discovered her true identity and she was forced to leave. Even after marrying Elliot in 2011 and taking his surname, she couldn't fully escape her past. She lasted five years in one role as a digital marketing director, but was let go when clients discovered her criminal history. Today, Kari runs her own production company, and later this year she's launching a podcast called The Worst Thing I've Ever Done, in which guests share their biggest transgressions. There's even talk of a TV series based on her life. Kari has been compared to Anna Delvey – who was jailed for posing as a wealthy heiress to scam New York socialites – and Billy McFarland, who defrauded investors out of $27.4million to fund the doomed Fyre Festival. 8 'I definitely like to think of myself as being separate from them, because it does not seem that they are very remorseful,' she says, alluding to the fact that Delvey capitalised on her notoriety, even appearing on Dancing With The Stars, while McFarland, post-prison, tried to launch Fyre Festival 2. Kari notes that her scams totalled around $10,000 and that: 'Compared to them, it was minimal.' She now hopes that by speaking out and owning her past, people will see the real Kari Ferrell – not just The Hipster Grifter. 'I hope most people would consider me a good person,' she says, revealing that the reaction she gets from people is generally positive. 'I've always had a weird popularity. There were people online saying these horrible things about me, and you would expect that to translate into the real world, but it doesn't.'

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