Tech sec Peter Kyle should apologise for calling Farage a nonce-enabler – then make the move that WILL protect our kids
Rather than come up with ideas to make our lives a bit bloody easier, it has resorted to disgusting smears against opponents.
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The Onlife Safety Act — a genuinely awful piece of legislation — seeks to persuade hi-tech companies to be a bit more rigorous about who they show their porn and other nasty images to.
It will not work.
Nigel Farage, the leader of Reform UK, has said as much.
And he pledged to repeal the act if Reform wins the next election. Which is looking increasingly likely.
This provoked Technology Secretary Peter Kyle to suggest that Farage was 'on the side of' Jimmy Savile. An insane accusation and one Kyle has refused to withdraw.
Kyle's actual words were these: 'Make no mistake about it, if people like Jimmy Savile were alive today, he would be perpetrating his crimes online — and Nigel Farage is saying that he is on their side, not the side of children.'
What an odious comment — but it was repeated a little later by the dim-witted Transport Secretary, Heidi Alexander.
So what Labour is saying, in short, is this: if you disagree with their stupid Onlife Safety Act, you're little better than a nonce. You're a nonce enabler. Nigel Farage was rightly furious.
Here's the thing. The act is a disgrace. It hands the power to hi-tech companies and penalises the small online sites. And it will do little or nothing to stop kids getting hold of gruesome images.
It will also erode freedom of speech. And increase censorship for adults.
It is a chilling piece of legislation. And it has already been rubbished by both the Left, in The New Statesman, and the Right, in the Daily Telegraph.
Tech Secretary left 'shocked to the core' after visiting crack team hunting down child abuse images
There is, however, one failsafe way to make sure kids are safe from revolting images.
Stop children having smartphones. Ban them from kids 16 years and younger. Something similar is to be tried in Australia, where under-16s will be banned from social media later this year.
Labour says it is not going to do that. Peter Kyle has rejected the proposal.
And you know why he's done that, don't you? It's because he, like the ludicrous Heidi Alexander, is a nonce enabler.
He would actively help Jimmy Savile nonce the kids.
There, how do you like that, Mr Kyle? That's what happens when you crawl into the political gutter. You meet horrible people like me.
People who are prepared to stick the boot in and not worry.
Nonce enablers
People who will say stuff like this: if Kyle opposes my bill to ban smartphones from kids he is worse than Rosemary West and Hitler combined.
And he probably hangs around infant schools with a bag of sherbet lemons and some puppies.
You see, Kyle? It isn't only disgusting to make such accusations. It's also totally and utterly ludicrous.
But it's particularly ludicrous and, indeed, hypocritical when it comes from Labour. Because the party is led by Sir Keir Starmer.
And when Sir Keir Starmer was doing his previous job as Director of Public Prosecutions, it decided against charging Jimmy Savile.
So you might have a point in saying that Starmer was 'on the side of' Jimmy Savile.
Think again, Peter Kyle. Apologise to Farage and withdraw the comment.
And when you've done that, withdraw the Online Safety Act.
FEELING THE PINCH, CERYS?
I'M sorry that the comedian Cerys Nelmes is upset. It's not nice to be upset.
She's worried she may be put behind bars in Turkey for alleged shoplifting.
Apparently, she left the Zara store in Istanbul having 'forgotten to pay' for an item.
How refreshing it is that the Turks take apparent shoplifting seriously.
And that Cerys could get three years in a prison like the one in Midnight Express.
PM'S SO WRONG ON GAZA
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IN promising to 'recognise' Palestine, Sir Keir Starmer has shed his very last vestige of principle.
It is a wholly cosmetic exercise designed to appease the morons on his back benches.
It will do nothing whatsoever to help the Palestinians. It offers not the slightest encouragement for the feral savages of Hamas to hand back the hostages.
All it does is enrage the US and Israel. And what exactly is it that Starmer is pledging to recognise?
The Hamas-governed Gaza Strip? But the Government has already proscribed Hamas as a terrorist organisation.
There is, at present, no Palestinian state. Just chunks of territory ruled over by extremists.
It is a truly shocking decision which will cause many, many problems down the line.
CARMEN HAVE A GO THEN
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SO, well done you tenacious Lionesses.
They proved that they are incredibly difficult to beat.
And also that they are not as useless at penalties as most of the other countries.
I enjoyed the tournament, even if the quality of football was sometimes hilariously bad.
It all works, though, if you don't keep comparing it with the men's game.
It was also hugely pleasing to beat the Spanish.
They are very bad losers and their petulant strop at Chloe Kelly cheered me up no end.
A bit of grace in defeat wouldn't go amiss, senoritas.
Meanwhile, my lot are away to Norwich next Saturday. The season is at last starting.
And so Christmas can't be far away.
A FOOL ENGLISH
THERE were two stories which made me sit up this week.
The first was that the average person now pays to the Government 57 per cent of their income in tax.
This is all the result of hidden levies such as VAT, stamp duty, National Insurance, capital gains tax and a whole load of other stuff.
There are 37 levies on top of income tax. We are now being taxed at the highest rate since the Second World War.
And the other story? A picture of the breakfast buffet that illegal asylum seekers are provided with, at our expense, in one of their hotels.
Would you like your eggs scrambled or poached, Asif? Coming right up.
Along with bacon, sausage, hash browns, baked beans and black pudding.
I couldn't see if they had mushrooms or not. Or waffles.
If they're in Richmond upon Thames, by the way, they also get free membership of gyms to work off that full English.
You wonder where our money goes? Here's an answer for you.
MESSER 'N' MRS
WE'RE moving house.
I come home of an evening and see my wife licking the skirting boards clean.
I can't find anything because it's all been hidden so that potential buyers think we don't have clutter.
The final straw came at the weekend.
Me and the dog were banished from the house 'for the foreseeable future'. That's because we make things messy.
One of us drops fur all over the carpet and farts continually – and the dog's even worse.
Houses always look good when nobody is in them. That's my wife's way of thinking.
'Nobody wants to look around a house when there's a lardy lummox lying on the sofa watching re-runs of Impossible.'
I'll let you know when I'm allowed back in.
I HAVE no idea where Tommy Robinson is. He has supposedly fled the country after allegedly punching a bloke at a Tube station.
I have no idea if that's what he did. And still less about whatever it was that may have provoked him.
But consider this. What chance do you think Robinson stood of a fair trial, for whatever he did or didn't do? They'd throw away the key, wouldn't they?
WHAT proportion of muggings in London do you suppose are solved by the Old Bill? The answer is five per cent – or one in 20.
Muggings are a serious crime. They make people afraid to go out of their homes.
And muggers are encouraged because 95 per cent of them are going to get away with it.
Don't you think it's time the Met Police started taking its duties seriously?
And focused on solving serious crime?
Instead of being obsessed with what people say to each other on social media?
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