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Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
14 Old-Fashioned Parenting Beliefs Boomers Can't Seem To Let Go Of
Raising kids has always been challenging, but it seems like every generation has its own ideas on how to do it best. Boomers, in particular, are known for holding onto some old-fashioned parenting beliefs. While some of these ideas have merit, others might make you scratch your head. If you're navigating the world of parenting, it helps to know what advice to take with a grain of salt. Here's a look at 14 old-fashioned parenting beliefs that some Boomers just won't let go of. 1. Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard The idea that children should be seen and not heard seems outdated in today's world, where kids are encouraged to express themselves. Many Boomers grew up with the notion that children should be quiet and well-behaved at all times. While teaching kids manners is important, silencing them can hinder their ability to communicate and assert themselves. According to a study by Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, children who are encouraged to express their feelings develop better emotional intelligence. This skill helps them navigate social interactions and lead more fulfilling lives. Today, we're more aware of the importance of letting kids have a voice. Encouraging your child to speak up not only boosts their confidence but also strengthens your relationship. Open communication helps children feel valued and heard, which can lead to healthier development. While it's crucial to teach respect, a balance between listening and discipline is key. Let your child know it's okay to express themselves, and watch them thrive. 2. Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child This age-old saying suggests that physical punishment is necessary for raising disciplined kids. Many Boomers were brought up with this mindset, and some continue to believe that spanking is an effective way to instill discipline. However, research has repeatedly shown that physical punishment can lead to long-term negative effects. Rather than fostering respect, it can breed fear and resentment in children. Experts suggest alternative methods like positive reinforcement and consistent boundaries. Today, most experts agree that there are more constructive ways to guide children's behavior. Discipline should be about teaching, not punishing. Time-outs, natural consequences, and structured routines can be more effective without the negative side effects of physical punishment. By focusing on understanding and empathy, you can help your child learn from their mistakes. This approach builds trust and teaches kids how to manage their behavior in a positive way. 3. Kids Shouldn't Question Authority The belief that children should never question authority was once a cornerstone of parenting. Many Boomers grew up in environments where questioning a parent or teacher was seen as disrespectful. However, fostering critical thinking and curiosity is crucial for a child's development. Dr. Susan Engel, a developmental psychologist, has pointed out that children who learn to question and explore become better problem-solvers. Encouraging them to ask questions is a critical component of their education and growth. In today's world, teaching kids to question authority, within reason, is viewed as a valuable skill. It helps them develop into independent thinkers who can analyze information and make informed decisions. By allowing your child to question and understand the reasons behind rules, you foster their curiosity and reasoning skills. This approach prepares them for real-world situations where they'll need to think critically. Balancing respect for authority with critical thinking is key to raising well-rounded kids. 4. No Kid Is Special Or Different The idea that all children should fit the same mold often leaves little room for individuality. Boomers, adhering to this belief, might expect all kids to follow the same path in education, hobbies, or careers. This one-size-fits-all approach can stifle a child's unique talents and interests. Each child has their own pace and strengths, and it's important to recognize and nurture these differences. Celebrating individuality helps boost a child's confidence and self-esteem. Today's parenting embraces diversity in interests and abilities. Rather than trying to mold your child into a predetermined path, encourage them to explore and discover their passions. Recognizing and supporting their uniqueness helps them develop a strong sense of self. This approach not only fosters creativity but also prepares them for a world that values innovation and diversity. By allowing your child to be their authentic self, you help them thrive in their own way. 5. Academic Success Is Everything The emphasis on academic success above all else is a belief many Boomers hold dear. They often drove home the importance of getting good grades and securing a stable career. While education is important, it's not the only measure of success. Research by Dr. Angela Duckworth, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, highlights that grit—passion and perseverance—is a better predictor of success than IQ. Encouraging a balanced approach that includes social skills, creativity, and resilience is vital for overall development. In today's world, the definition of success is broader and more inclusive. While academics are important, it's equally crucial to focus on emotional intelligence, creativity, and critical thinking skills. These attributes prepare children for a rapidly changing world where adaptability is key. Encourage your child to explore their interests and develop a well-rounded set of skills. By valuing more than just academic success, you help your child grow into a versatile and resilient individual. 6. Boys Don't Cry The outdated belief that boys shouldn't cry is rooted in traditional notions of masculinity. Many Boomers were raised to believe that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, especially for boys. This mindset can be damaging, as it teaches boys to suppress their emotions rather than process them. Emotional suppression can lead to mental health issues and difficulty in forming healthy relationships. It's essential to let boys know that expressing emotions is a natural and healthy part of life. Nowadays, there's a growing recognition of the importance of emotional expression for everyone, regardless of gender. Encouraging boys to share their feelings helps them develop emotional intelligence and empathy. This ability to understand and relate to others' emotions is crucial for building strong relationships. By breaking down outdated gender norms, you create a more supportive environment for your child to thrive. Let your son know it's okay to cry and be vulnerable, and watch him grow into a compassionate person. 7. Kids Should Follow Traditional Gender Roles The idea that kids should adhere to traditional gender roles is still prevalent among some Boomers. They often grew up with strict notions of what boys and girls should do or be. However, research by Dr. Christia Spears Brown, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, shows that forcing children into gender roles can limit their potential. It stifles creativity and restricts their ability to develop a wide range of skills and interests. Encouraging kids to explore roles outside of traditional norms can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Today, many parents are moving away from these rigid expectations. Allowing children to explore interests traditionally associated with the opposite gender fosters a sense of freedom and self-discovery. This approach helps break down stereotypes and encourages a more inclusive society. By supporting your child's interests, regardless of gender, you allow them to develop their full potential. Celebrate your child's individuality and help them grow into open-minded and confident adults. 8. Kids Don't Need Privacy The belief that kids shouldn't have privacy often stems from a desire to protect them. Many Boomers grew up in households where privacy was minimal, with an emphasis on supervision and control. However, respecting a child's privacy is crucial for their development and autonomy. It teaches them about boundaries and the importance of trust in relationships. When children feel secure in their privacy, they're more likely to open up and communicate with their parents. In today's world, the focus is on creating a balance between oversight and privacy. Providing kids with age-appropriate privacy helps them develop a sense of responsibility and independence. Trusting your child to make their own decisions builds confidence and encourages open communication. While it's important to be involved in your child's life, respecting their privacy is equally crucial. This approach helps foster a healthy parent-child relationship based on mutual respect and understanding. 9. Strict Schedules Are Key To Success Many Boomers believe that strict schedules are essential for raising successful children. They grew up with regimented routines and often believe that structure is the key to discipline and achievement. While routines can provide stability, too much rigidity can stifle creativity and spontaneity. Children need time to explore, play, and make their own choices. A balance between structure and flexibility can help children develop independence and problem-solving skills. In today's world, parents are encouraged to find a balance that works for their family. Allowing for flexibility in schedules can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. Kids learn best when they're given the freedom to explore and make mistakes. This approach helps them develop resilience and adaptability, crucial traits for navigating an unpredictable world. By finding a balance between routine and spontaneity, you can create an environment that encourages growth and creativity. 10. Only Adults Should Make Decisions The belief that only adults should make decisions often limits a child's ability to learn autonomy. Boomers, raised under this notion, might be inclined to make choices for their kids rather than involving them in the decision-making process. However, allowing children to make age-appropriate decisions can foster independence and confidence. It teaches them accountability and helps them understand the consequences of their choices. Involving kids in decision-making is a valuable learning opportunity. Today's parenting philosophy often emphasizes the importance of empowering children through decision-making. By allowing kids to participate in choices, you help them develop critical thinking skills. This approach prepares them for adulthood when they'll need to make informed decisions on their own. Encouraging independence in decision-making fosters a sense of responsibility and self-reliance. By trusting your child to make choices, you help them grow into confident and capable individuals. 11. Parents Are The Bosses The idea that you must be friends with your child is a modern twist that some Boomers still uphold. They might believe that being a friend rather than a parent will create a closer bond. However, while a friendly relationship is important, it's crucial not to blur the lines of authority. Kids need guidance and boundaries, and being too lenient can lead to confusion and behavioral issues. The parent-child relationship requires a balance between friendship and authority. Today's experts suggest maintaining a relationship that combines warmth with firmness. Being your child's friend can coexist with setting boundaries and providing discipline. This balance helps children feel supported while understanding the importance of rules and limits. By establishing clear expectations, you create a nurturing environment that encourages growth and respect. Remember, being a parent is about guidance and support, not just friendship. 12. Mental Health Is An Excuse The notion that mental health is not important to talk about has long been a stigma. Many Boomers grew up in a time when mental health issues were seen as weaknesses to be hidden. However, open discussions about mental health are crucial for breaking down stigma and providing support. Addressing mental health early can prevent long-term issues and promote overall well-being. It's essential to create an environment where children feel comfortable discussing their emotions and seeking help when needed. In recent years, there's been a shift toward prioritizing mental health in parenting. Encouraging open conversations about emotions and mental health helps children understand their feelings and develop coping strategies. This approach fosters a supportive environment that promotes resilience and emotional intelligence. By normalizing discussions about mental health, you help your child develop healthy habits that last a lifetime. Prioritizing mental well-being is a vital part of raising a well-rounded and happy child. 13. Adult Responsibilities Are For Grown-Ups The belief that responsibilities and chores are solely for grown-ups can hinder a child's development of life skills. Some Boomers might have grown up without being encouraged to take on tasks at a young age. However, involving children in age-appropriate chores teaches them responsibility and independence. It helps them understand the importance of contributing to the household and prepares them for adulthood. Giving kids tasks to complete also boosts their confidence and sense of accomplishment. Today's parenting often encourages children to participate in family responsibilities. Assigning chores can be a fun and educational experience that teaches valuable life skills. It helps kids develop a sense of accountability and work ethic that benefits them throughout life. By involving children in household tasks, you create a sense of teamwork and cooperation. This approach fosters a sense of pride and self-reliance in your child. 14. Parents Are In Charge Of Their Child's Development The belief that you have to do everything for your child often stems from a desire to protect and care for them. Some Boomers might feel that taking on all responsibilities is an expression of love and support. However, over-involvement can prevent children from developing independence and resilience. Encouraging self-sufficiency helps kids learn how to navigate challenges and build confidence. Allowing your child to handle tasks on their own prepares them for the real world. In today's parenting landscape, fostering independence is often emphasized. While it's important to support and guide your child, allowing them to take on responsibilities helps them grow. Encouraging problem-solving and self-reliance teaches kids how to navigate obstacles and build resilience. This approach prepares them for adult life, where they'll need to make their own decisions. By letting your child take the lead, you empower them to become capable and self-assured individuals. Solve the daily Crossword
Forbes
an hour ago
- Forbes
3 Signs You're An ‘Overgiver' In Your Relationship, By A Psychologist
When you give too much of yourself to the ones you love, it takes a toll on you, and on the ... More relationship. Here are three signs you might be an overgiver and how to stop. Being an 'overgiver' means your default setting is to give more than what's healthy, sustainable or reciprocated. And it's not just your time or help; you likely offer others emotional energy, presence, concern, forgiveness and endless second chances, often at the cost of your own boundaries. A 2014 study highlights just how central effort is to romantic fulfillment. Researchers drew on data from 795 married couples. They discovered that each partner's perceptions of their own effort and that of their partner correlated directly with their marital quality, and even with their susceptibility to divorce. Surprisingly, one partner's effort wasn't merely self-contained; it directly affected the other's satisfaction levels. This proves something that overgivers often sense but don't always voice: effort works both ways. And when you're the sole person investing in the relationship, it not only drains you but also throws off the balance necessary for a healthy relationship. So, how do you know if you're stuck in this cycle? Here are three subtle yet potent ways you might be giving more than is healthy, and what to do about it. 1. You Feel Resentful In Relationships A 2022 study concluded that individuals tend to sacrifice for their romantic partner even in the absence of anticipated reciprocity. In a laboratory study involving 72 participants, researchers employed a cold pressor task, in which participants immersed their hand in nearly freezing water, and discovered that individuals tolerated much greater pain for their partner than for a friend or under other circumstances. This indicates sacrifice in love does not have to be transactional. Many individuals make sacrifices even if nothing is offered in return. But when these efforts are consistently one-sided, or when they go unnoticed, the emotional expense can cumulatively escalate and later transform love into bitterness. When individuals view themselves as the givers in a relationship, they tend to act out of love, hoping that their effort will be returned. They might think, 'If I love you enough, perhaps you will love me just as much.' This belief pushes them to go out of their way to ensure their partner's happiness. But in the process, they end up sacrificing too much. When that effort goes unreturned or unacknowledged, it creates resentment and makes the relationship emotionally unsustainable. No matter how much they may give, if it never feels mutual, they end up emotionally drained and yet keep showing up. So ask yourself, 'Am I overgiving out of love, or out of a need to be loved back?' If the sincere response leans towards the latter, stop. That type of giving usually stems from a fear of being abandoned, of not being good enough or needing to prove your love. One of the best ways to end that cycle is to slow down and monitor your patterns of giving. Every time you feel compelled to help, soothe or fix something, ask: Observe yourself for a week and see how you feel before and after giving. Pay attention to whether you feel appreciated, drained or forgotten. This sort of self-reflection grounds you in your own values and needs, rather than their reactions. While reciprocity is essential in relationships, it places undue pressure on both partners when either sacrifices too much. 2. You Feel Guilty When You Express Your Needs Overgivers tend to minimize their own needs. They say yes when they need to say no, and put other people's feelings ahead of their own. They may struggle to believe they deserve love, thinking their value is based on how helpful, cooperative or selfless they can be. Many overgivers believe love is something they must earn and not something they can receive simply by being themselves. A 2016 study published in the Journal of Personality found that 'conditional positive regard,' meaning giving love only when people meet certain expectations, is associated with lower relationship satisfaction. The researchers found that when love was conditional and not given freely, it undermined people's basic need for autonomy, leading to worse relationship outcomes. Participants felt that they were not truly accepted for who they are, and to be worthy of love, they believed they had to earn it. For overgivers, this often manifests as feeling guilty for having needs. It might feel like you always have to carry the weight of the relationship on your shoulders. You may feel like expressing your needs — such as asking for space or feeling tired and needing rest — will make you seem selfish or unworthy of love. So, before you suppress such a need, pause and ask, 'Does this actually hurt anyone or go against my values?' If not, acknowledge the guilt but act anyway, expressing what you really need. This is called taking 'opposite action.' Each time you do this, you prove to yourself that your needs are valid and that you can choose yourself, no matter how challenging it feels initially. 3. You Find Yourself Overcompensating A 2025 study published in Behavioral Sciences investigated the typical fears people have concerning romantic relationships, based on information from over 1,000 young adults. The most prevalent fear, both by gender and culture, was the fear of ineptness, or failing to meet a partner's expectations. This was followed by fears of losing one's autonomy and getting hurt or being controlled. These insights reveal a deeper reality behind a lot of relationship conflicts: the fear of not being enough, or becoming lost in the process of trying to be enough. For overgivers, this fear doesn't always manifest as withdrawal. Instead, more frequently, it boils down to overcompensation. Overcompensation happens when you take on more than your fair share, constantly trying harder, picking up slack and doing things for others, even when it's not asked of you. This pattern is often driven by deep fears of being 'not enough,' 'too much,' or a burden. These often trace back to the belief that your worth depends on what you do for others, rather than who you are. When you catch yourself overcompensating, take a long breath and ask yourself: It's necessary to check your motives regularly. The shift into true relationship security starts with self-awareness, an honest examination of your feelings and the decision to trade self-sacrifice for balance. Curious if you're stuck in an overgiving cycle? Take this science-backed test to explore how your relationship patterns may reflect deeper fears or unmet emotional needs: Codependency Scale
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
What's the Best Kids' Lunch Box? These 7 Are Kid-Tested, Mom-Approved
PureWow editors select every item that appears on this page, and some items may be gifted to us. Additionally, PureWow may earn compensation through affiliate links within the story. All prices are accurate upon date of publish. You can learn more about the affiliate process here. You can learn more about that process here. Yahoo Inc. may earn commission or revenue on some items through the links below. Read the original article on Purewow. Growing up, choosing a lunch box meant picking out your favorite cartoon character amid the sea of plastic containers. It was just a container for whatever Mom tossed inside; if your sandwich was mangled or your Cheez-Its resembled dust by the time you got to the cafeteria, that was life. At least you could stare at Garfield or the Muppets as you sipped water from the lid of your coordinating Thermos. These days, lunch boxes have gotten far more sophisticated—there are collapsible ones, freezable ones, even electrically heated ones—all at a range of price points. So, which ones are actually worth your money? What won't contribute to a meltdown in the carpool lane? I needed answers—and since you're here, I'm guessing you do, too. The Best Kids' Lunch Boxes at a Glance How I Chose the Best Kids' Lunch Boxes Candace Davison As PureWow editors poll parents and vet products for the Happy Kid Awards each year, determining the best lunch box is always hotly debated. Our team combines market research and reviews with parent recommendations to form a short list of top contenders, and from there, lunch boxes are distributed to parents, as we ask them to review the containers based on the following criteria: Size and overall portability — Are they too bulky for a backpack? Can kids tote them easily? How much food do they actually hold, and is it enough? Ease of use — Can kids open and close them without dumping dino nuggets everywhere, or needing a teacher's help? How easy are they to clean and care for? Durability — What happens if they're dropped? Do they crack, tear or scuff easily? Do the latches seem sturdy or flimsy? Could this last a school year or longer? Value — How much does it cost, and what do you get for that price? 75 Simple, Delicious School Lunch Ideas The Best Kids' Lunch Boxes of 2025, Tested & Reviewed 1. Omiebox Bento Box for Kids Omie/Alexia Dellner Bento box styles have been a parent and kid favorite for the past few years, but they can often be pretty bulky—a challenge when backpacks are already pretty crammed. Omiebox's smart, lightweight design made it immediately stand out from the crowd: It's relatively slim, and yet it can hold a surprisingly hearty lunch. But that's far from all: "I really love the option to include a hot meal (which we do at least once I week—I add boiling water to the container while I microwave pasta leftovers, then pour the water out when I'm ready to assemble. I mean, who knows what really happens at lunch time, but my son says that the food is still hot when he opens it up and it always comes back empty)," says executive editor Alexia Dellner. "Oh, and the dividers are great—because nobody wants strawberry juice on their meat sticks. (My meat sticks.)" $50 at Amazon 2. Packit Freezable Playtime Lunch Box packit Why bother with ice packs when your whole lunch box can be one? PackIt's latest design features freezable gel walls, keeping foods chilled all day, and when it's empty, it smooshes flat, taking up less backpack space. (My toddler has used this bag every day for a full year, and it looks brand new—spills easily wipe away, and it's survived being dropped, stomped on and trampled by a dog without issues.) When I had other kids test and review the bag, they mentioned that they loved the fun designs, and that the zippers were easy to use. Plus, you can easily pop in a bento box, and the handle features a buckle clasp, so you can tether it to a backpack or messenger bag, if your kid's bag is already crammed full. $30 AT Amazon $30 at Target 3. Bentgo Lunch Container rachel bowie/bentgo In every poll, Bentgo comes up as PureWow parents' most-recommended lunch box. And it's not just hype—it's consistently won over editors in product testing, winning a Happy Kid Award not once but twice. Why? It's just that reliable—and affordable. 'I like the simplicity of Bentgo's kid's lunchbox," explains Rachel Bowie, senior director of royals and special projects (and has tested countless lunch boxes as she oversees the back-to-school edition of the Happy Kid Awards). "It feels like there's a spot for all my son's favorites—a half sandwich, a fig bar, even a cookie or two. I put Cheerios in the small circle, though you could also include a dip. Still, it's that compartment size flexibility that really makes it a fail-safe for us. The seal keeps everything separate, but most important of all, the tabs are easy to pop open. Best of all, it's dishwasher-safe, which is so helpful on busier school days.' Plus, with 33 designs to choose from, there's a style that's bound to suit your kid's taste, whether they're into llamas, unicorns, construction trucks or, ahem, quiet luxury neutrals. $30 AT Amazon $30 at pottery barn 4. Calpak Kids Lunch Bag calpak There are people who love the order of a bento-style lunch box, and there are those who like things a little more freeform (especially if your kid's the type who sees four compartments and demands all four compartments be filled, even if they'd be stuffed with a sunbutter and jelly and a banana). Calpak's lunch bag is remarkably lightweight yet durable, zips smoothly without snagging and the recycled polyester exterior is easy to wipe clean. The crossbody straps and top handles made it easy for kids of all ages to grab and go, no matter how much they were hauling around, and the bag itself—at 4 inches wide and 10 inches long—is spacious enough to hold a full lunch and water bottle, no problem. (Some other soft bags we tested required you to carry the bottle separately.) There's a name label on the back, yet you also have the option to personalize it, should your (er, your kid's) aesthetic skew more embroidered monogram than Sharpie. $38 at calpak 5. Lunch Box davison In a world where kids' lunch boxes can creep past $80 a pop (!), this $29 find stands out for its versatility, durability and value. The main compartment is large enough to fit a whole bagel or sandwich—with a removable ice pack included—and the hard case features a silicon bubble in one compartment, so you can easily stow a whole piece of fruit without bruising it. What really impressed me were its leakproof compartments, which were filled with marinara as the box was flipped, dropped and shaken—and didn't leak at all. $29 AT Amazon 6. Munchkin Toddler Lunch Box munchkin/candace davison Designed for kids aged 18 months and up, this five-compartment wonder is a daycare must-have. The lunch box survived drop tests without popping open, yet small hands didn't have any difficulty opening the box themselves. Plus, it comes with stainless steel utensils that pop into the inside of the lid, though our tester said they occasionally pop off and into food if the container is sloshed around too much. That said, the silicone liner on the lid creates a great seal, so liquids didn't seep into other compartments, no matter how much it was jostled. $17 at Walmart $17 at Target 7. PlanetBox Rover Stainless Steel Lunch Box planetbox/purewow So many stainless steel lunch boxes are a hit with parents—but then kids can't open them. Or they're just not as fun as their friends' character-emblazoned bags. PlanetBox bridges the gap, with a slim, five-compartment container that parents can pop in the dishwasher, and yet kids can easily use and customize with exterior magnets (which come in 18 designs, from unicorns to galaxy prints). The set also comes with two leak-proof stainless steel containers with BPA-free silicone lids, so you don't need to pack your kid's yogurt separately. $55; $47 at PlanetBox What to Consider When Shopping for Kids' Lunch Boxes original photo: candace davison Budget and aesthetics aside, there are a few key things to look for: Size — Both in terms of whether it can hold enough food for your child's lunch and snack needs, and how bulky it is. If it can't fit in your kid's backpack, is there a strap that can connect it to the bag? Number of compartments and configurations — Do you want something bento-style, where you can store multiple foods without them touching (or needing to resort to resealable bags and other containers? Are the compartments adjustable and/or removable? Ease of use — How easy is it for a kid to use? How easy is it to clean? Durability — Do you intend to use this for more than a year? What do the reviews say about its longevity? Are the latches strong? Does it scuff or crack easily if dropped? (Stainless steel options have the best warranties—often five years, versus one or two with plastic lunch boxes—because they tend to be the most durable.) Ability to keep foods cold — Is there an ice pack or freezable liner included? How insulated is it, or will you need to purchase something separately to get the job done? Leak resistance — If it's a hardshell lunch box, are there silicone gaskets or other seals to make it less prone to leaks? Is it recommended for dry foods only? What's the Best Overall Kids' Lunch Box? Due to its overall capacity—yet slim design—ease of use and warm-food compartment, is PureWow's pick for best overall kids' lunch box of 2025. However, if you'd prefer something that's stainless steel, I recommend taking a closer look at Planetbox, or something that can smoosh flat when lunch is over, opt for Calpak or Packit. 58 Toddler Lunch Ideas Even the Pickiest Eaters Will Love Why You Should Trust Us PureWow's editors and writers have spent more than a decade shopping online, digging through sales and putting our home goods, beauty finds, wellness picks and more through the wringer—all to help you determine which are actually worth your hard-earned cash. From our PureWow100 series (where we rank items on a 100-point scale) to our painstakingly curated lists of fashion, beauty, cooking, home and family picks, you can trust that our recommendations have been thoroughly vetted for function, aesthetics and innovation. Whether you're looking for travel-size hair dryers you can take on-the-go or women's walking shoes that won't hurt your feet, we've got you covered.
