Setting aside 'worry time' can help you get better with money, therapist says—here's how
You're not alone. Nearly 7 in 10 (69%) Americans say financial uncertainty has led them to feelings of anxiety and depression, according to a recent survey from Northwestern Mutual.
Financial anxiety is a looming feeling, often borne of the notion that you're not doing well enough — for your future self, for someone your age or compared with your peers, says Megan McCoy, a financial therapist and professor at Kansas State University.
"Anxiety tends to swirl in our minds all day, especially when it's about money," she says. But instead of trying to avoid these feelings or letting them get in the way of other things you want to accomplish, set aside time to deal with them.
"A surprisingly effective strategy is to schedule a daily or weekly 'worry time' — 15 to 20 minutes dedicated only to your financial concerns," McCoy says.
First, write down everything you're anxious about. This could include everything from concrete, numbers-based worries ("I'm not sure how I'll afford it if my kid wants to go to a private college") to lifestyle-based anxieties ("Everyone on my Instagram feed appears to be taking more frequent, nicer vacations than I do").
From there, sort the items into two lists: things you can control and things you can't, says McCoy.
"This process helps transform vague, persistent worry into two buckets: action and acceptance," she says. "It's not about ignoring your fears — it's about learning how to manage them with intention."
For the things you can control, focus on taking small, incremental steps toward the change you want. That may be mean setting up regular, automatic deposits into a 529 account or a vacation fund.
If you can name dedicated savings accounts after these goals, even better, says McCoy. Specifically named accounts "help people feel organized and emotionally attached to their progress," she says. "They also reduce the temptation to spend impulsively because the money already has a purpose."
If getting this set up on your own sounds daunting, don't be afraid to ask for help, McCoy says. A financial planner can help you translate your fears and goals into actionable steps. You may even be able to get free help through your employer.
As for the factors that are out of your control — the future of the stock market, U.S. trade policy and tax rates, how much money your friends are making — give yourself a little grace.
McCoy suggests taking a step back and trying to redefine success on your own personal terms. Do you have choices? Does your spending align with your values? Are you being intentional about the ways you save and spend money?
If you answered yes to all three, you may be doing better than you think.
"This reframing reduces pressure and invites a more grounded, compassionate view of financial health," McCoy says.
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