How to Keep Your Relationship Fun
Secret signals might sound like something from middle school. But they're also fun.
When you're an adult, playfulness may not always feel natural. But play helps you cope with stress and increases your life satisfaction. It also helps people in relationships feel closer. Playful behaviors like humor, banter or flirting can also remind you of the early days of your relationship, said John Kim and Vanessa Bennett, a therapist couple who wrote 'It's Not Me, It's You.'
But playful relationships don't always happen organically, said Roslyn Ashford, a licensed professional counselor in Mississippi. You have to invent or search for these moments of fun, she added. Here's how.
Research has confirmed what we intuitively know: Humor is a key element of adult play. So look for small opportunities to add a little levity throughout the day, said Gaya Kodiyalam, a therapist in New York City.
You can cultivate your own lighthearted language, Kodiyalam said. She and her husband have so many nicknames for each other, she said, they rarely call each other by their given names.
They've also developed a series of funny rituals. The couple have a special morning hug they call a 'waggle.'
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Los Angeles Times
2 days ago
- Los Angeles Times
‘Japanese walking' promises big health gains in 30 minutes. Health experts are skeptical
It promises the benefits of a 10,000-step walk in just 30 minutes. No gym membership required. Just a pair of shoes and a willingness to alternate between brisk and slow-paced walking in three-minute bursts. Dubbed 'Japanese walking,' the latest viral fitness trend is all over TikTok and has people wondering whether this short-interval workout can improve health more efficiently than a traditional stroll. The trend has spread across social media and beyond, with bloggers, online articles and major media outlets all jumping in on the walking routine. The protocol traces back to a 2007 Japanese study that tested the effects of high-intensity interval walking on middle-aged and older adults. But the recent buzz started with a punchy video from Australian content creator and fitness coach Eugene Teo that surpassed 10 million views on TikTok and 17 million views on YouTube. Known to his over 426,000 TikTok followers and 1.22 million YouTube followers as 'Coach Eugene,' Teo rebranded the science-backed routine into an accessible, algorithm-friendly idea: 'Japanese walking.' 'People don't like fitness jargon,' Teo, 33, said in a recent interview with The Times. 'They don't like scientific terms … and if I want to impact millions globally ... I like to make fitness advice and scientific jargon a lot more accessible.' In his video explainer, Teo describes the method: Walk fast for three minutes, slow down for three minutes and repeat the cycle five times. According to the small study of 186 women and 60 men, participants who followed this routine four or more days a week saw greater improvements in blood pressure, leg strength and aerobic capacity than those in the moderate-intensity continuous walking group. 'It's that cardio work that a lot of people are missing,' Teo said. Teo, a longtime coach and nutritionist, didn't invent the protocol, but he did help it reach millions. He said his viral video resonated with people overwhelmed by the pressure to hit 10,000 steps a day — a goal Teo himself often finds out of reach. He's been following this protocol on and off for years, ever since he came across the study. Usually, he does his walking on a treadmill. 'A lot of people have this all-or-nothing approach where they think, 'Oh, I can't hit 10,000 steps. I've failed,'' he said. 'It's about just changing the stigma people have and that all-or-nothing mentality ... of what fitness should be about.' He emphasizes effort over perfection: Walk fast enough to get out of breath, but not so fast that you can't finish the three-minute interval. The recovery periods are as slow as needed to reset. But is the science behind the trend as strong as the messaging? Dr. Helga Van Herle, a cardiologist with Keck Medicine of USC, noted flaws in the original study's design — namely, that only the high-intensity walking group was monitored with accelerometers, not the moderate intensity group, a bias that could have skewed results. 'This creates a major bias in the monitoring and compliance and could potentially skew the results in favor of the high-intensity training group,' she said in an email, pointing to the Hawthorne effect, a phenomenon in which people alter their behavior because they know they're being watched. Dr. Parveen Garg, also with Keck Medicine of USC, said he doesn't see intense interval walking as a standout recommendation among physicians. The study, he said, was small and meant to be thought-provoking and encourage further research, not to support sweeping conclusions. He supports any activity that gets people moving but cautions against over-hyping Japanese walking benefits or ease. 'It's kind of onerous,' he said, explaining that remembering to switch gears every three minutes, walking fast and slow and navigating technology isn't easy for everyone. He said it's possible to get similar benefits by walking continuously at a vigorous pace for a shorter time. But there isn't enough evidence to confirm that. Experts agree that vigorous activity, even in short spurts, is beneficial. David Raichlen, professor of biological sciences and anthropology at USC, said short intervals of increased effort — even just walking briskly for a few minutes — can yield meaningful health effects. 'There's something to the idea that small amounts of vigorous activity are really beneficial,' Raichlen said. Raichlen also noted that calling high-intensity interval walking 'Japanese walking' simply because of the study's origin is problematic. Yasuyuki Suzuki, a cardiac imaging specialist from Tokyo, is aware of the trend and the associated study. He said that while there is some new interest in the topic, it is not trending in Japan the way it appears to be in other parts of the world. He also said he does not feel any discomfort or concern about it being referred to as 'Japanese walking.' As for whether this method is better than 10,000 steps or continuous walking, Raichlen is hesitant to say — the research just isn't there yet. Higher walking cadence has been linked to lower dementia risk, Raichlen said. Also, walking in general has been tied to lower mortality, reduced cancer risk and improved cardiovascular health. 'I do think there's a lot of good from encouraging people to think about walking as exercise,' Raichlen said. 'Finding ways to sort of make walking work better for you is, you know, not a bad thing.' Still, the simplicity and catchy name may be why it took off. 'Pretty much anybody in Los Angeles can go outside and walk around,' said Sarah T. Roberts, a UCLA associate professor and internet culture expert. Roberts sees the trend as a reflection of broader social forces, including medical mistrust and the rising cost of health care and fitness. 'We're in a moment of economic uncertainty,' she said. 'For most people, a $300-a-month membership at Equinox is not a reality.' That, she said, makes low-barrier trends like 'Japanese walking' especially appealing. But Roberts cautioned against the risks of turning to TikTok and other social media platforms for medical advice. 'Stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum,' she said. 'There's a bigger social and political context to all of these things, and the backdrop to these kinds of trends is not great.' Roberts encourages viewers to critically evaluate where their health advice comes from and who profits from it. 'People with big followings often have something to sell,' she said. 'They're not really acting in the public interest.' Still, Roberts said, with every health trend, social media companies are profiting. Although some platforms have tried to crack down on medical misinformation, Roberts said such content moderation has fallen out of favor because it affects revenue. 'Devaluing expertise means devaluing the collective knowledge that people have in certain domains,' Roberts said. 'If I try to fix my own car, my car is probably not going to run very well. Now apply that to my body.' Teo said fitness trends should be approached with discernment. He's not claiming to replace traditional walking — just to offer a stepping stone for cardio. And if a viral name is what it takes to get people walking, he's OK with that. 'As long as you're not misleading people,' he said, 'and there's legitimate substance behind it, it's a great way to spin things.' Teo, Raichlen, Garg and Roberts all agree on one thing: Talk to your doctor before starting any new exercise routine, especially one that reaches vigorous intensity.
Buzz Feed
3 days ago
- Buzz Feed
Tom Brady On Prioritizing Football During Gisele Bündchen Marriage
During the last few years of Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's marriage, there was a lot of chatter about how Tom was splitting his time between football and family. In a 2018 docuseries about Tom's career, Gisele expressed disappointment that her then-husband opted to continue playing football beyond 2016 after previously saying he'd retire. For context, Tom and Gisele share two children, Vivian and Benjamin, who are now aged 15 and 12. He also has a 17-year-old son, Jack, from a previous relationship. 'When I met him in 2006, he said, 'Listen, I'm just gonna play for 10 more years, I'm gonna win one Super Bowl, and I'm gonna be happy,'' Gisele recalled. 'I told him last year [in 2016], 'I think this is great, what a great win. Now you've won two Super Bowls, it's the end of the tenth year.' And I was like, 'Woohoo, let's go! I'm ready!' But then he's like, 'No.'' 'Football, as far as I'm concerned, is his first love. I think it's his main love, really quite frankly,' she added, saying in a subsequent confessional: 'It's about priorities. What are the priorities?' At long last, the quarterback announced his retirement in February 2022, and Gisele was among those to publicly celebrate the milestone. Then, just 40 days later, he backtracked and revealed that he wasn't ready to give up football after all. Reports at the time claimed that Gisele 'wasn't thrilled' by Tom's unretirement, and in May 2022, the supermodel seemed to suggest as much during an interview with British Vogue, in which she said: 'I don't think relationships just happen; it's never the fairy tale people want to believe it is. His focus is on his career, mine is mostly on the kids.' So, when Tom and Gisele divorced in October 2022 — just a few weeks after his 23rd NFL season kicked off — it was widely speculated that his unrelenting focus on football was the catalyst for the split. For what it's worth, Gisele later denied this was the case, telling Vanity Fair in March 2023: 'I have always cheered for him, and I would continue forever. If there's one person I want to be the happiest in the world, it's him, believe me. I want him to achieve and to conquer. I want all his dreams to come true.' As we now know, Tom's 23rd season wound up being his last, as he officially retired (again) in February 2023. If you follow Tom on Instagram, you'll see he spends a lot of his time with his three kids. Although, he's also talked openly about his past failings as a dad, saying at an event in 2024: 'I've screwed up a lot as a parent.' After saying that being "a parent is probably the hardest job all of us have," Tom talked about wanting to be "dependable and consistent" for his children. Now, the 47-year-old has opened up about parenting again — this time, seemingly defending his decision to prioritize football while his kids were young. In the July 29 edition of his 199 newsletter, Tom pondered the balance between 'personal satisfaction and professional achievement,' writing: 'I think part of being a great father is being a great example of doing what it takes to take care of your family. I chose to do it by playing football.' 'My dedication to the sport, the hours of practice, the moments when I was laser focused—those were times when I believe I was doing the best possible thing for my family and my kids,' he wrote. 'By prioritizing my profession and teaching, by example, what it takes to be really good at your job, what it takes to follow through on commitments, what it takes to be a great teammate; and showing them, also by example, that work is a big part of all of our lives.' Reminding readers that your children 'see what you do in every aspect of your life and how you do it,' Tom highlighted that 'reading bedtime stories and helping them with homework are not the only ways to be a great parent.' 'And neither is winning Super Bowls or MVP,' he added. 'Being a great football player didn't make me a great dad, but how I became a great player certainly had an impact—from showing up day in and day out, to doing whatever it took to get better, be successful, be a role model, and to provide.' He makes some valid I do have to wonder what Gisele would have to say about it all. LMK your thoughts in the comments!
Cosmopolitan
3 days ago
- Cosmopolitan
Tom Brady Seemingly Jabs Ex-Wife Gisele Bündchen in Newsletter
In our good year 2025, the last thing we expected to find was a personal blog written by none other than pro athlete, Tom Brady. The seven-time Super Bowl champion penned a candid piece about parenting for his 199 newsletter—and seemingly threw shade at his ex-wife, Gisele Bündchen, in the process. In his installment published on Tuesday, July 29, Tom reflected on the highs and lows of professional football and how the sport made him a 'great parent' to his three children. He shares Benjamin and Vivian with Gisele, while his oldest son, Jack, is shared with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan. 'I think part of being a great father is being a great example of doing what it takes to take care of your family,' he wrote, in part. 'I chose to do it by playing football.' He added, 'My dedication to the sport, the hours of practice, the moments when I was laser focused—those were times when I believe I was doing the best possible thing for my family and my kids, by prioritizing my profession and teaching, by example, what it takes to be really good at your job, what it takes to follow through on commitments, what it takes to be a great teammate; and showing them, also by example, that work is a big part of all of our lives.' The former New England Patriots quarterback then seemingly made a dig at Gisele, explaining that 'reading bedtime stories and helping them with homework are not the only ways to be a great parent. And neither is winning Super Bowls or MVPs.' He continued, 'Being a great football player didn't make me a great dad, but how I became a great player certainly had an impact—from showing up day in and day out, to doing whatever it took to get better, be successful, be a role model, and to provide.' Tom and Gisele were married for 13 years before finalizing their divorce in October 2022. Earlier that same year, he retired for a total of 40 days before returning to the field for another season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the 2023 season. The former Victoria's Secret angel, who is now linked to Miami-based jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente, was reportedly disappointed in Tom's decision to reverse his retirement. She opened up about how it shifted their family dynamic during her September 2022 Elle cover story, saying, 'This is a very violent sport, and I have my children and I would like him to be more present.' Gisele added that she 'definitely had those conversations with him over and over again,' saying, 'I've done my part, which is [to] be there for [my husband]. I moved to Boston, and I focused on creating a cocoon and a loving environment for my children to grow up in and to be there supporting him and his dreams.'
