American men are in crisis and they looking up to toxic role models to cope

Yahoo

06-04-2025

The fist bump/'Whattup bro' combo greeting with optional peace sign may be old news and a little corny, but out in rural Tennessee, it's just one of many variations in man-speak I use for checking in and seeing how the other brother is doing.
Sadly, the men, especially working-class men, are not alright.
On health: Men comprise half the population yet account for 79% of suicides (81% in Tennessee), with the male suicide rate spiking 25% in the last decade. Men are more likely than women to use illicit drugs, and they comprise 70% of opioid deaths (71% in Tennessee) and 67% of alcohol-related deaths (70% in Tennessee).
On employment: Tennessee ranks in the top 10 states for the worst wage stagnation in the U.S. Add the higher cost of living, and the sons of today cannot hope to provide their families with the housing, healthcare, and education their fathers and grandfathers did. Real wages for women have risen, something to cheer for, yet they've stagnated for men. Working-class men also now comprise a greater share of the unemployed than women, another historic first.
On education: When Congress passed Title IX in 1972 to tackle gender inequality in education, men were 13% more likely to earn a bachelor's degree than women. A half-century later, women are 15% more likely to earn a bachelor's degree than men. In Tennessee, just 49.9% of 2023's male high school graduates went to college, compared to 63.6% of female graduates. And of the men who did enroll, they were much more likely to drop out than women.
On relationships: Today, only 60% of 35-year-old men are or have been married. It was 90% in 1980, and a shocking one third of Tennessee men are unmarried (29% for women). Men are also losing their friendships at a rate that's difficult to comprehend. Today, 15% of men say they have no close friends, a 500% increase from 3% in 1990.
To be clear, the problem isn't that women are doing better (though some poor-faith agitators would have you believe as much). A half-century of mostly upward mobility for women should be celebrated.
The problem is that men are doing much, much worse.
Who are men turning to for help? The recent election provides some clues. Donald Trump won men, which was expected, but he also won young men aged 18 to 29 by 55%, a stark shift from the 41% of young men who supported him in 2020.
Who men are choosing for president is just the tip of the iceberg.
Elon Musk, Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes, Michael Knowles, Tim Pool, David Rubin, Benny Johnson, and Dana White, the list goes on.
Everywhere young men turn for advice, music, news, entertainment, sports, politics, religion, and fitness, the opinion leaders who capture their attention are predominantly right-wing or right-leaning influencers who, at best, offer common sense/individualism-oriented solutions and, at worst, advocate for a return to the pre-Civil Rights era.
Richard Reeves, author of the book 'Of Boys and Men' posits that boys and men are more reliant on social and familial institutions than girls and women. (Reeves frequently refers to the Boy Scouts as an example of such an institution, a fitting example, as Boy Scout membership in Tennessee has plummeted 33% since the pandemic).
As healthy institutions that created a sense of belonging for men have eroded, males of all ages have either turned towards unhealthy affiliations like those mentioned earlier, or they've isolated. In doing so, they've lost their sense of purpose and ability to nurture each other and themselves.
This is a warning sign. Renowned 20th-century anthropologist Margaret Mead once said, 'Every known human society has rested on the learned nurturing behavior of men … This behavior, being learned, is fragile and can disappear rather easily under social conditions that no longer teach it effectively.'
If Mead were still alive, she'd observe what I've seen in rural Tennessee, that the sledgehammer of today's capitalist-driven individualism has crushed the social and cultural institutions that once gave men purpose and taught them how to care for themselves and others.
Since many of today's male leaders offer nothing but pyramid schemes and patriarchy, it's up to the rest of us to fist-bump the men in our lives, check in with them, find out what they need, and offer them a seat at our table.
Our collective future is not a kind one if half the population is left to drag themselves, and the world, to the brink.
Ren Brabenec is a Nashville-based freelance writer and journalist. He reports on politics, local issues, environmental stories, foreign policy, and the economy. For questions, comments, or to suggest a story, email [e-mail].
This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Men in America are feeling stressed, unhealthy and isolated | Opinion