I have 45 siblings and five step-mums – we grew up in a caravan with no aircon & I met my husband in a polygamous cult

Scottish Sun

5 days ago

Ashleigh always feared she'd be married off to an old man
FULL HOUSE I have 45 siblings and five step-mums – we grew up in a caravan with no aircon & I met my husband in a polygamous cult
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GROWING up in a big family is one thing but this woman's childhood was unlike anything most people could imagine.
Ashleigh Sandmire, 29, was raised in a secretive polygamous cult in the US where her father had six wives and an astonishing 45 children.
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Ashley Sandmire spoke about her experience on the We're All Insane podcast
Credit: Youtube/ We're All Insane
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Ashley Sandmire grew up in a polygamous cult
Credit: Instragram/ ashleigh_sandmire
'There are probably more, maybe a little less, but we just stick with the number 45,' Ashleigh revealed on the We're All Insane podcast on Youtube.
Born in Utah and raised in Nevada, Ashleigh's earliest memories are of chaotic life in sweltering caravans with no air conditioning and no proper heating.
'In winter my mum would turn the oven on and we'd all huddle around it for warmth,' she said.
'In summer, it was just hot and sticky but that's all we knew.'
Ashleigh's mum was wife number two and had 12 children of her own.
She says babies were born close together, sometimes just months apart from different mothers.
Ashleigh said: 'I have a sister who's 10 months older than me from one mum and another sister 10 months younger from a different mum."
At just two years old, Ashleigh's family began to splinter.
Several of her father's wives left, but her mum stayed.
They later moved to Utah as her dad tried to set up his own polygamous community in a remote mountain town.
Life there was strict and isolated.
The family followed the Book of Mormon alongside the Bible and believed in 'plural marriage', where men could take multiple wives but women were expected to be entirely obedient.
She explained that whilst many people think the LDS church still practices polygamy, they no longer do, as this has been broken off from the religion.
However, smaller communities in Utah would still practice this.
Ashleigh said of the polygamous community: "It's such a high demand religion and I would honestly say it's a cult because you have been told since you're a child all these things and you can't even think for yourself."
Ashleigh said she grew up alongside Warren Jeffs community, shown in Sister Wives.
'From the outside, people think of Warren Jeffs and the FLDS group, like the women in bonnets and long dresses,' Ashleigh said.
'But the polygamy I grew up in wasn't like that. We dressed like everyone else, people in Utah probably spoke to polygamists without even realising it.'
Children were expected to fall in line.
Ashleigh said: 'My mum was just 17 when she married my dad, who was 41.'
If a man wanted to 'court' you, he'd ask your dad and if he said yes, you didn't really get a choice.
As Ashleigh grew older, she started to question the way she was raised.
At 16, tragedy struck her 14-year-old brother took his own life – something that still haunts her today.
She said: 'My life has never been the same.
'I was grieving, suicidal, and felt completely disconnected from my parents.
There was no space for feelings, there were just too many of us.
By that time, Ashleigh had already met Paul, a boy from the same faith.
She said: "I met my husband in the same polygamist religion I grew up in.
'I always feared I'd be married off to some old man.
The couple began dating when Ashleigh was 17.
"We were planning on living polygamy, we were going to have sister wives."
But they'd soon decided against it.
Despite opposition from some of Paul's family, who branded her 'immodest', he proposed just after she graduated high school.
'Paul had to ask my dad for permission,' Ashleigh said.
'My dad was thrilled – Paul was in the same religion and made decent money. He was like, 'Take her!''
Ashleigh admitted she always struggled with Mormonism and didn't necessarily want to live this life but was taught "if you were to leave you will be damned for it".
She added: "we didn't feel like we had a choice".
Today, Ashleigh has left the religion behind and built a new life.
She shares insights into her family life on her Instagram @ashleigh_sandmire.
Ashleigh said she is still close to some of her siblings, though with 45 of them, she admits it's impossible to keep track of everyone.
'I like to joke I grew up in a divorced family, but on another level,' she said.
'I had all these other mums and siblings coming and going, it was confusing and heart breaking as a child.'
Now, with a husband who chose her for love and a life of her own making, Ashleigh says she finally feels free.
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Ashley met her husband at 17 years old
Credit: Instagram/ Ashleigh_sandmire