
Here Are 7 Things Your Date Notices About You Immediately
You might be the type of person who stresses about every minute detail of your appearance, personality and turns of phrase. But why waste energy worrying about things your date probably won't pick up on, let alone care about, anyway?
Below, dating experts and daters reveal the things your date is likely — and unlikely — to notice right off the bat. Read on for their thoughts:
1. Your body language.
According to dating coach Damona Hoffman, the way you position your body will signal to your date whether you're interested in them or not.
'Usually someone will turn their hips towards someone they like, lean in when they are talking and look for opportunities to touch them in casual zones,' Hoffman, author of 'F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story,' told HuffPost.
Posture is also something your date will take notice of. Are you standing up straight with your head held high or are you slumped over with your head hanging down?
'The former signals confidence, the latter lack thereof, and confidence is all-important when making a great first impression with someone new,' dating coach Blaine Anderson told HuffPost. 'To have better posture, by the way, don't just pull your shoulders back. You'll look unnatural. Engage your glutes and core more when you're standing and seated — everything else falls into place when you do this.'
Kaylyn G., a member of the HuffPost Facebook community, said she always notices how a date carries themself.
'How they walk. How they get a waiter's attention. How they sit in the chair,' she wrote.
'Do you make and hold eye contact, and are you authentically smiling?' Anderson said. 'Or are your eyes evasive and you look ill-at-ease? Again, the former signals confidence and the latter lack thereof.'
Nick Notas, a dating coach who works with men, also underscored why eye contact is so important.
'Looking into someone's eyes helps create a sense of connection,' he said. 'Avoiding eye contact can make her feel distant from you and set an awkward tone.'
Similarly, a warm smile can 'go a long way towards diffusing tension on a date,' Hoffman said. 'A smile says that you feel comfortable with them, that you're having a good time and that they can relax around you.'
To make a good first impression, online dating coach Joshua Pompey of Next Evolution Matchmaking suggested 'creating the aura of someone who is happy and excited about life' by approaching your date with a smile, enthusiasm and open body language.
'This will increase the odds that your date is instantly put into a positive state of mind as well, filled with excitement and positive energy,' he said.
3. Your grooming and hygiene.
Your pre-date ritual should include basic tasks like taking a shower, brushing your teeth and combing your hair — it's not much to ask, and your date will certainly appreciate it.
'Things like a trimmed beard, groomed eyebrows and fresh breath show pride in your appearance,' Notas said. 'Dirty fingernails or body odors suggest a lack of self-awareness.'
Anderson added: 'Do you look like you take care of your skin and hair, and do you smell good, if subtly so?'
Renata M. wrote on Facebook that good hygiene always stands out to her in a date.
'A well-groomed person with good manners shows he has self-respect and respect for others,' she said. 'Everything else can be worked on or brushed off, unless he is married or jobless.'
4. Your outfit.
Just make sure you're dressed appropriately for the setting. You don't want to be overdressed in a three-piece suit at a pub or underdressed in some ratty old T-shirt at an upscale restaurant.
'Being well-dressed is less about wearing expensive clothing and more about wearing the right clothes for the occasion,' Anderson said. 'To illustrate this, business casual might be perfect for your office, but it's inappropriately stuffy for most first dates. It should go without saying, but your clothes — and shoes especially — should look clean!'
5. How much you talk about yourself.
Does the conversation have a nice back-and-forth, or is it very one-sided? If your date can't get a word in edgewise, that's a problem.
'Do they listen or just talk about themselves?' reader Mary C. wrote on Facebook.
Reader Cayci C. said she pays attention to whether 'they talk with me and not at me.'
And for reader Louise P., it's not just how much the date talks about themself, it's also what they're saying.
'If they say their last partner was 'crazy,' if they start future-faking immediately, if they talk about money immediately ― spot the red flags,' she said.
6. Your manners and how you treat your server.
If your first date is at a bar or restaurant, you'd better believe your date is going to notice how politely you interact with the people who work there.
It 'screams volumes about someone's character,' Shanna M. wrote on Facebook.
Reader Kerri D. said she also pays attention to behaviors like whether her date opens the door for her or asks her where she wants to sit.
'None of these things are required or dealbreakers in any way, it just tells me a lot about their personality and how OK they might be with mine,' she wrote on Facebook.
'I am hella awkward and need a bit of space and time to 'warm up' to someone. ... I have no problem giving people the benefit of the doubt for the same reason. But a lot of very simple behaviors can hint at compatibility.'
7. How you make them feel.
Your date might not walk away from the evening remembering the color of your eyes or your exact facial features, Hoffman said. They will, however, remember how you made them feel.
'Was something said that creeped them out? Or made them lean in? Focusing on the atmosphere and feeling of connection is more important than choosing the perfect dress or tie,' she said.
And here's what your date probably won't notice.
There's no sense fixating on things your date is unlikely to pick up on anyway. According to our experts, that includes the following:
Minor physical 'flaws'
You might be self-conscious about perceived imperfections like a 'crooked tooth, a few extra pounds or a small scar,' said Notas. But your date probably isn't focusing on any of that — and neither should you.
'Unless it's something really obvious, your date isn't zeroing in on minor details,' he said. 'She's focused on your overall vibe and how you make her feel.'
Same goes for pimples or blemishes, Anderson said. Not a big deal!
'Everyone gets the occasional zit. Unless you have one that dominates your face, you're better off not calling attention to it and just enjoying your date,' she said.
How fancy your clothes are
Your date probably isn't going to be paying close attention to your particular wardrobe choices. You want the overall look to be put-together — but beyond that, the specifics don't matter all that much.
'I hear a lot of emphasis on not only what to wear, but on which brands to choose, yet rarely do I hear a report from a client that they liked a date because of the brands or specific clothing items they wore,' Hoffman said.
'Usually they'll notice if someone is dressed poorly or if the clothes are worn, but other than that, labels don't tend to matter on a first date.'
Your outfit choice probably isn't going to tank a date as long as it's appropriate for the setting.
'If your clothes look clean and fitted, she'll walk away with a positive impression about your style,' Notas said.
Your exact turns of phrase
When it comes to communication, your demeanor, interest in your date and tone of voice will do a lot of the heavy lifting. The exact words you use are less important.
'While you obviously want to avoid profanity or insensitive language, what matters is your ability to listen and the flow of conversation,' Notas said. 'How you say something is so much more important than what you say.'
The good news: The vast majority of the things your date will notice about you right off the bat are '100% in your control and free or inexpensive to improve,' Anderson said.
Her advice? 'Focus on being your most present, best self when you meet your date, versus worrying about any more minor details, like which of two shirts to wear,' she added.
'I always recommend my clients do something that makes them feel awesome — like go to the gym or watch a comedy special — before going on a date to make the best first impression.'
HuffPost.
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


Boston Globe
5 days ago
- Boston Globe
When ‘good enough' won't cut it: Advice platform My Next Chapter helps the divorcing (and the divorce-curious) navigate next steps
The first and most unique is self-education, for men and women who are quietly contemplating divorce but might be thoroughly freaked out at the prospect. Addressing marital uncertainty — the gray area between staying and leaving grounded in a mix of ennui, habit, or sheer terror and fear — is a critical component of the platform, which blends logistical advice with emotional candor. Get Starting Point A guide through the most important stories of the morning, delivered Monday through Friday. Enter Email Sign Up 'Some of our most viewed content is around marital ambivalence and uncertainty,' says founder Tamara Frankfort Odinec. Advertisement The site features seven core experts, picked for their openness in key areas: legal, mindfulness, family, finance, dating, wellness, and lifestyle. Everyone on the team has personal experience with divorce and feels comfortable talking about the stigma, financial stress, and fear that comes with contemplating a split. 'They're coming at this with the credentials but also personal experience with divorce and the willingness to be open about it,' Odinec says. Advertisement Odinec founded the platform after going through her own (amicable, but stressful) divorce while parenting young kids. She couldn't find resources beyond Facebook groups or attorney referral services. 'It was extremely scary, lonely, and isolating. I was the first of my friends or family to get divorced, and I just had nowhere to go. I was scared to talk to my friends about it. I did searches online and tried to find information, and everything led me to random attorney websites or Reddit black holes,' she says. Odinec came out the other side, felt confident in her decision — and began fielding queries from friends about their own potential divorces. 'I was getting calls and questions from friends of friends to help them. That's when the idea [for My Next Chapter] popped into my head: How does this still not exist?' she says. Odinec is joined by co-creator Shari Joseph, who brings a different perspective to the platform. Her divorce has been tempestuous, and she's still navigating the details while raising young children. 'I feel like everything that could happen in a high-conflict divorce has happened to me. I have a ton of different life experiences that I'm able to pour into the platform,' she says. Attorney Renee Bauer, who grew up in Stoneham and attended Suffolk Law School, blends legal advice with the willingness to share her personal experience in a mediocre marriage. Nothing was shatteringly wrong, but she harbored a nagging sense of unease. 'When my son was two years old, I was in a 'good enough' marriage that was just fine. I was just so unhappy, and I couldn't put my finger on it, so I did something that was completely outside the box of what my family and friends did: I was the first person in my family divorced, and I had crushing guilt and shame,' Bauer says. Advertisement Her social life was also entwined with her husband's circle; losing the marriage also meant losing a social network. A second marriage — 'toxic,' she says — also ended in divorce. 'If I felt ashamed the first time. I felt that much more the second time, because now I felt like I was a failure. This had to be a 'me' problem. What were people going to say?' she says. This changed when a friend invited her on a podcast to share her story. It was liberating. 'I clipped the mic on and just spilled it all. Looking back, I was so afraid to be vulnerable. But it changed everything, because I had so many people after that podcast reach out to me and say, 'That's my story, too. Thank you for putting words to how alone I felt.' That's the common thread when someone is going through a divorce. They feel so alone. They're losing friends. Family members have opinions, and they're stuck with their own internal conversations of: 'What am I doing? How did I end up here? I'm a failure,'' she says. Aesthetically, the site is as stylish as your favorite lifestyle brand — curated, soothing, streamlined — but it's meaty, too. In addition to the self-education section, there are sections on navigating what's next, focusing on mid-divorce emotional, financial, and legal issues; and embracing the future, with resources on co-parenting and dating after divorce that feel incredibly grounded in reality (how to word an online dating profile; what to do when an ex starts to badmouth you). Advertisement There's also an anonymous community forum, where members — there are about 500 currently — can post confidential questions and get feedback. Sometimes fellow members chime in; other times, one of the seven experts pops in with advice. In September, the site aims to launch a one-on-one service, pairing members with divorce navigators. Odinec hopes the platform feels protective and empowering during a time that's terrifying in the short-term but hopefully gratifying in the long run. 'Telling my kids we were getting divorced was the worst day of my life, and the period around that was extremely challenging. But I knew ultimately it was what I needed to be happy and to be my best self for my kids. Once I got through that, my next chapter has been fulfilling, uplifting, and incredible in so many ways,' she says. 'I want people to understand that divorce isn't always the answer. We're not peddling divorce. In some cases, it makes sense to work on your marriage. But if you know that [divorce] is what you need to be happy, taking the leap is hard. It's challenging in the beginning, but the other side can be really great. Showing people how and why is so important.' Kara Baskin can be reached at
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Yahoo
How to avoid prospects tuning out on social media
This story was originally published on Multifamily Dive. To receive daily news and insights, subscribe to our free daily Multifamily Dive newsletter. Scroll through the Instagram feed for The Pointe on Westshore and you'll find announcements for events past and present, including sunset yoga, salsa dancing and sugar cookies at the front desk. A monthly feature showcases resident pets, and descriptions under pictures of the property invite viewers to imagine what they could do there — hosting events in their homes or lounging at the property pool. The Facebook and Instagram pages for the 444-unit midrise property in Tampa, Florida, highlight the property's lifestyle in tandem with its features. It's a social media strategy that Devin Lusk, marketing director at Tampa-based American Landmark Apartments, has created for the company's 100-plus multifamily properties, encompassing over 32,000 apartment units. In Lusk's view, social media users tend to resist 'property-type' content. 'Let's be honest, no one wants to see another generic photo of a kitchen they've already seen on the website,' Lusk told Multifamily Dive. 'Renters tune that out. We focus on building trust by showing the real stuff: resident shoutouts, behind-the-scenes moments and content that actually feels lived-in. It's about giving them a glimpse of the lifestyle, not just the floor plan.' Here, Lusk speaks with Multifamily Dive about her digital playbook, including resident stories, top-performing platforms, strategies for drawing in Gen Z and the dangers of falling back on floor plan photos. This interview has been edited for brevity and clarity. MULTIFAMILY DIVE: How do you structure a digital engagement plan for a given property? DEVIN LUSK: We always start by getting to know the neighborhood: what makes it tick and who lives there. Then we build a brand story that feels real and relatable for the people who already live at the property and those thinking about moving in. From there, it's all about creating content that feels like it's for them, highlighting resident stories, team shoutouts and celebrating community moments. It's about creating a vibe where people feel like they belong, not just live. What are some of the social media strategies you most strongly recommend to drive leasing? Use short-form video tours, spotlight resident experiences and run geo-targeted paid campaigns with limited-time offers to generate urgency. What are some examples of the stories you tell? We love telling real stories, whether it's spotlighting a long-time resident, showing off a team member's daily routine or capturing a pup's favorite hangout spot. Sharing these moments brings authenticity and shows what life's really like here. It's not just about amenities, it's about the people — and pets! — who make the place feel like home. Are there particular platforms that are more effective than others? Does it vary by demographic? Instagram and Facebook are our top performers for engagement and leads. TikTok is gaining traction, especially with younger renters, but it hasn't fully caught up in our space just yet. Platform choice really depends on your audience and content style. Are there particular strategies for attracting Gen Z renters? Authenticity is key. Real content from management teams and onsite events performs better than polished promos. What are some of the challenges you've encountered in this space? Is there something that used to work, but doesn't anymore? Staying ahead of shifting renter expectations is a constant challenge. Stock imagery and generic posts just don't cut it anymore. Renters want real, relatable content. It's also harder to tie social directly to leases, so proving ROI takes a more creative, long-term approach. Recommended Reading Should your property have a sound studio?


Business Wire
6 days ago
- Business Wire
Dry Goods Expands with Four New Stores Opening in 2025
DAVENPORT, Iowa--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Dry Goods, the trend-driven young women's fashion retailer and a subsidiary of Von Maur, Inc., is proud to announce the opening of four new stores in 2025. With these additions, Dry Goods will operate 88 locations in 24 states. Known for its fashion-forward styles and boutique shopping experience, the expansion reflects Dry Goods' continued growth and commitment to bringing its ever-changing selection of apparel and accessories to shoppers nationwide. The brand will soon be available to customers at the following shopping destinations: Cherry Hill Mall – Cherry Hill, NJ (Opened April 26, 2025) Lynnhaven Mall – Virginia Beach, VA Lehigh Valley Mall – Whitehall, PA Freehold Raceway Mall – Freehold, NJ In addition, the company plans to relocate its Woodfield Mall location in Schaumburg, IL, to a fresh new space within the center this fall. 'With each new store opening, we are listening to our customers and delivering what they want: trendy, accessible fashion in an environment that allows them to express their individual style,' said Melody Wright, President of Dry Goods. 'New markets present an exciting opportunity to expand the Dry Goods experience across the country.' As Dry Goods extends its physical footprint, it continues to serve as a launchpad for talent. The brand fosters a fun, fast-paced work environment that encourages creativity, confidence, and career development. With continued growth on the horizon, there are more opportunities than ever for individuals looking to build a future in fashion. For career opportunities or to explore the latest styles, visit and follow @drygoodsusa on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. About Dry Goods Dry Goods, a subsidiary of Von Maur Department Stores, opened its first location in 2010 in Aurora, Illinois. Today, it operates 84 stores across 24 states and an online shop at Known for its trendy fashion mix, Dry Goods offers a curated selection of junior contemporary women's clothing, shoes, jewelry, and accessories. About Von Maur Founded in 1872 in downtown Davenport, Iowa, Von Maur is a family-owned department store known for its outstanding customer service and broad merchandise offerings. For more information, visit and follow @vonmaur on social platforms.