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Why ‘twisted' Lou Reed hated his fans

Why ‘twisted' Lou Reed hated his fans

Telegraph19-07-2025
Reed's 1975 album Metal Machine Music, there's one moment that is undeniably sweeter, more memorable, more perfect than any other. It's when you turn it off. You'll never regret that moment. Not today. Not tomorrow. And not for the rest of your life.
The LP was released 50 years ago this week. Its cover is a backlit shot of the former Velvet Underground guitarist and singer on stage; he exudes New York street cool in leather and shades. Only for the first 10 seconds of the actual record, though, is there even a hint that this might be the start of a rock album, picking up perhaps from the howling feedback and distortion that closes European Son, the final track on 1967's The Velvet Underground & Nico.
That hope is soon dashed. Metal Machine Music's vinyl grooves contain 65 minutes and three seconds of dissonant noise, screaming in your ear like a hell's-mouth chorus. There's no discernible melody, very little progression, and only at minute 62 and 46 seconds does the suggestion of a rhythm occur. Music magazine Creem reviewed it in a box that simply said, in capital letters, 'NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO…' (plus a lot more 'NOs'). So many fans returned it immediately after purchase that Reed's record company, RCA, withdrew the original vinyl LP within weeks.
Review of Lou Reed's 'Metal Machine Music", 1975.
50 years this month pic.twitter.com/oPv8qmmO9P
— Bill Pourquoimec (@BillPourquoimec) July 17, 2025
Remarkably, the album landed less than three years on from the release of Transformer (1972) – the masterful David Bowie and Mick Ronson-produced solo album, which included Vicious, Walk on the Wild Side and Perfect Day (on which Reed was beautifully accompanied by Ronson on piano). That album confirmed Reed as one of the great songwriters of his generation; audiences adored it. But for the surly Brooklynite, that was the problem.
'I put out Metal Machine Music precisely to put a stop to all of it,' he declared in Victor Bockris's 1994 biography Transformer: The Lou Reed Story. 'It was a giant f--- you. I wanted to clear the air and get rid of all those f---ing a--holes who show up and yell Vicious and Walk on the Wild Side.'
It's the sort of truculence that Reed was famous for; his former Velvet Underground bandmate John Cale called him 'a twisted, scary monster'. And that 'S' word crops up a lot. Bockris later noted that 'it wasn't easy to make Lou a famous pop figure. He was a hard figure to market because the edges were so hard, and he was kind of scary, you know, a scary figure.'
That extended to fans and friends alike. In Dylan Jones's oral biography David Bowie: A Life, the rock journalist Allan Jones describes seeing Reed's 1979 concert at London's Hammersmith Odeon, at which the crowd kept 'calling out for his old songs… Lou eventually told us all to f--- off, so lo and behold a lot of people did.' When most of the audience had left, Jones added, 'he started playing [the Velvet Underground's] Heroin, Waiting for the Man, and all the songs they'd been screaming for'.
It was after the concert, though, that the writer was told by a press officer that Reed had left with Bowie, and he was invited to join them for dinner. Jones was seated at an adjacent table, he recalled, 'and suddenly there was this kind of explosion, smashing glasses and Lou was dragging Bowie across the table and b---h-slapping him across the face'. He reported Reed screaming, 'Don't you ever say that to me!'
Eventually they were separated – and soon hugged and made up. But five minutes later, 'David was being dragged across the table again, with far more ferocity this time, with Lou screaming, 'I told you not to say that!' This time he really went for it and was raining blows on Bowie's head.' Reed was hustled out of the restaurant, and Bowie left sitting at the table, 'head in his hands… sobbing.'
Jones suggested that Bowie had offered to produce another album for Reed, 'as long as he got himself clean and straightened himself out. Which Lou obviously didn't like.' This for the man who had helped Reed to his only significant chart success – a Top 30 album and a Top 10 hit, for a song about transgenderism, fellatio and casual prostitution, no less.
We'll put it down to coincidence that Bowie went into a studio less than six months later to begin recording Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps). (He said he'd got the title from a Cornflakes packet.) Others, though, would go further. When writer Howard Sounes approached the former Velvets' manager Paul Morrissey for his biography of Reed, the director of Andy Warhol's Flesh and Trash suggested that the book should be titled 'The Hateful B—h' or 'The Worst Person Who Ever Lived', if it were to reflect its subject truly.
As for Jones, who got into a scuffle with Bowie that same evening, when the singer realised he was a 'f---ing journalist', he was at least spared the sort of scorn that Reed regularly directed towards the press, usually delivered in a bored monotone that was at least in part borrowed from Andy Warhol, especially when responding to inane questions.
'Would it be right to call your music gutter rock?' he was asked by an Australian journalist on arrival in Sydney in 1974. 'Gutter rock?' Reed responds. 'Oh yeah.' In the infamous Lester Bangs interview for Creem in 1975, though, it is the writer who appears both rude and petulant, and further takes advantage of having the last (printed) word by launching a tirade of (written) abuse at the artist and his work after the fact.
On his 1978 album, Live: Take No Prisoners, recorded at the Bottom Line in New York, Reed let the press have it with both barrels. After giving a shout-out to Bruce Springsteen in the audience, who'd added his voice to the album cut of Street Hassle eight months earlier, Reed turns on critics Robert Christgau of the Village Voice and John Rockwell of the New York Times, mocking the venerable New York newspapers' tradition of calling him 'Mr Reed' – 'F--- you, I don't need you to tell me that I'm good.'
Christgau, meanwhile, was an 'anal retentive… nice little boxes, B-plus. Imagine working for a f---in' year and you got a B-plus from an a---hole on the Village Voice? You don't have to take this s---. You don't have to f---ing talk to these f---ing journalists. They're negative for free, in the best seats.'
Elsewhere, he gave an insight into his psyche before playing Street Hassle, launching into a burst of guitar feedback in response to heckling from the audience. 'That's how Metal Machine was born by the way,' he says. 'I can drown you out. Go on, leave if you don't like it.'
Some did like it, even Metal Machine Music. Paul Morley launched a defence of it in The Observer in 2010, calling it an 'intense collision of surreal object, hate letter, emotional outburst, poetic assault, bubblegum serialism, artistic bombshell' and more, suggesting that if it had inspired bands like Throbbing Gristle and Sonic Youth, it must be doing something right. Reed himself suggested that one could hear aspects of Beethoven in it and pronounced that 'It's the only record I know that attacks the listener.'
Of course, Reed's uncompromising approach to his career ultimately proved to be a lucrative decision – with income from publishing royalties ensuring his estate was worth more than $30m after his death, aged 71, in 2013.
We're not sure quite how much of that was for Metal Machine Music, but perhaps it would be wise to bear in mind something else that Reed said to the crowd on Take No Prisoners. 'I do Lou Reed better than anybody. Enough attitude to kill every person in Jersey.'
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Millionaire Sacha's fat jab jibe is a kick in the abs to normal people struggling with obesity

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WWE star Chelsea Green quits social media after being attacked over controversial Hulk Hogan tribute
WWE star Chelsea Green quits social media after being attacked over controversial Hulk Hogan tribute

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Elon Musk opened a diner in Hollywood. What could go wrong? I went to find out

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But it turned out that Optimus was not in operation. Daza said he was surprised by the various problems the kitchen seemed to be having – he thought they would have a 'plan B'. But he was pleased the diner offered an 'experience'. The prices, though expensive, weren't that bad for Los Angeles. The burger was $13.50, without french fries. Later, as Daza ate the meal that had taken him two days to get, he grinned: 'Delicious.' The interior design was certainly closer to Disneyland than In-N-Out: all sleek and shining chrome, futuristic 1950s white chairs and tables, and beautifully designed lighting. The curved staircase up to the Skypad was decorated with robots in display cases on the wall. Inside a curved chrome window was what looked like a pretty ordinary, low-tech restaurant kitchen. I had waited in line for a full hour before I could place my order. When I finally got to the register, I asked an employee to remind me what on the menu was actually available. She said I needed to check the screen in front of me – they had whatever was there. It turned out, contrary to what I had been told, that I could order both chicken and waffles. After the long wait outside, my food arrived in about 10 minutes – much less than the three-hour wait I feared, but absurdly long for any fast-casual restaurant. A waffle, branded with the Tesla lightning bolt, was cold. The fried chicken had a tasty coating but was also cold. The heap of kale and tomatoes was only partially dressed with an odd dill-flavored dressing. The generic-brand cola tasted cheap and was served with a woke bamboo straw. But the food did come in elaborate Cybertruck boxes – and they were, to be honest, delightful. While locals seemed to be forgiving of the new diner's glitches, some tourists were less impressed. Rick Yin, 32, who was visiting Los Angeles from China with his mother, had stopped by the diner on their way to the airport to 'grab a quick lunch' that had turned out not to be quick at all. Yin had also been excited to see the Optimus robot in action, and had hoped the diner would be 'more hi-tech'. What he had found was 'a regular restaurant'. 'It's all right,' he said, while still waiting for his food. After eating, he said he liked the Cybertruck boxes: 'That's the only thing that's worth it.' I took my meal upstairs , to the Skypad, an open-air balcony with a view of the charging Teslas. The Twilight Zone was now playing on two giant screens. I sat down next to a steady line of people buying Tesla Diner merch: a $95 retro diner hoodie, $65 Tesla salt and pepper shakers, a $175 'levitating Cybertruck' figurine. There was a large popcorn machine in front of me, which seemed to be where Optimus had been serving snacks on opening night. Musk had been posting on X earlier in the morning that 'Optimus will bring the food to your car next year' and suggesting the robot might be dressed in a 'cute' retro outfit. In reality, Optimus was nowhere in sight. The robot was 'out today', an employee told me later, as if the pricey piece of machinery were a human celebrity with a busy schedule. 'Maybe tomorrow.' 'Is it possible to get some popcorn regardless of the robot?' a woman asked. 'It's probably old popcorn,' an employee told her regretfully. A different employee warned me that I could not walk down the same staircase I had taken up to the Skypad because it was too crowded and that 'everyone's colliding with each other and trays and milkshakes'. I would have to go down another way: a bland flight of stairs without any hi-tech decoration. During a Tesla earnings call on Wednesday, as the company disclosed declining revenue and profits, Musk highlighted his new burger palace as a success: 'Diners don't typically get headline news around Earth,' he bragged. He also called the diner 'a shiny beacon of hope in an otherwise sort-of bleak urban landscape'. (It is located on Santa Monica Boulevard, in a neighborhood full of high-end art galleries.) I'd had plenty of time in the diner line to think about 'retro-futuristic' experiences, and how good a description that was, not so much for this very ordinary diner, but for the rightwing political project that Musk had joined. We were now moving into a future that offered tank-like electric cars and on-demand drone deliveries, and also a resurgence of measles outbreaks and women dying from preventable pregnancy-related complications. But continuing to function in the United States right now requires being very good at compartmentalization. I tucked away the cardboard Cybertruck lids to show my co-workers, threw away the Tesla waffles, and went on with my day. Nothing works properly here any more, but hey, it's an experience.

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