Horrid Henry and the wives he cut off in their prime
History is also similar to River City as it's populated by very bad people doing very bad things for very good reasons.
Mark Shaw teaches the subject (History, not River City) and knows a thing or two about ancient times.
He once worked in a Californian school where the curriculum was focused, understandably, on America's glittering (and often grizzly) past.
Occasionally Mark grew weary of reciting tales about George Washington's wooden teeth, and for the sake of variety would throw into the mix the odd anecdote celebrating Brittania's gloriously gory backstory.
Most students were enthralled when Mark told them about Henry VIII and the tragic fate of his six wives.
Though one girl was visibly appalled at the behaviour of England's much married monarch, and couldn't stop herself from shouting out: 'That Henry VIII… I didn't realise he was such a diva.'
Lot of bottle
While studying at Edinburgh Uni, Karen Lawson had a part-time job as a waitress in an Italian restaurant.
A rude drunk once staggered into the premises, flopped down at a table and demanded a bottle of wine.
'What year?' asked Karen.
'I better get it this year,' slurred the drunk, 'or there'll be trouble.'
Road to ruin
While learning to drive, reader Bill Fry had a wise instructor who educated him in the ways of motoring.
This chap once said to Bill: 'If you don't swear while you're driving, that just means you aren't concentrating on what's happening on the road.'
Bedtime story
The teenage son of Patricia Smith was vacationing in Ibiza with buddies.
While the other lads soaked up rays at the beach, or knocked back drinks with fancy-schmancy names at the bar, Patricia's son spent most of his time snoozing peacefully in his air-conditioned room.
This behaviour did not go unnoticed, leading his pals to reward him with the entirely suitable moniker… half-man half-mattress.
Jobbing along
It's been years since Paul Wright retired from a career working in a Glasgow office, though he still misses that feeling of self-worth a job gives a chap.
He recalls one boss rewarding him with a memorable 'compliment', when he said to Paul: 'I go to you when I can't go to my go-to guy.'
The hardest word
'I don't apologise for anything,' says reader Sue Cunningham. 'I'm sorry, that's just the way I am.'
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Scottish Sun
2 hours ago
- Scottish Sun
Jess Wright on Michelle Keegan's daughter ‘princess' Palma, her son's shock diagnosis & THAT poisonous family rivalry
Family squabbles, sibling rivalry and why she had a breast reduction – Jessica Wright opens up exclusively to Fabulous BEING part of a big (and successful) family is not always easy. Having high-achieving siblings often means you feel like you are being left behind – and no one knows that more than Jessica Wright. Sign up for Scottish Sun newsletter Sign up 10 Jess Wright on how becoming parents has changed her relationship with brother Mark, and why she regrets her boob job Credit: Mark Hayman 10 Jess said: 'We've done well for ourselves as a family, so why try to tear us down?' Credit: Mark Hayman The 39-year-old rose to fame as an original member of The Only Way Is Essex cast in October 2010, alongside brother Mark, 38. Then there's youngest brother Josh, 35, who is a former professional footballer turned manager, and 24-year-old sister Natalya, who has a burgeoning career as an influencer. And of course, there's Mark's wife and Jessica's sister-in-law Michelle Keegan in the mix, too. So, it's no surprise she feels more pressure than most. 'I'm quite driven by my family,' she admits. 'Everyone is really ambitious [laughs]. And, obviously, Mark's really successful. Joshua is successful in what he does. Natalya's smashing it with her stuff. So you're always like: 'God, am I doing enough?' I'm really hard on myself. I always think I'm not doing well enough. We've done well for ourselves as a family, so why try to tear us down? Jessica Wright 'I wake up in the morning thinking about my career. This industry is tough, TV is really hard to come by these days. You've got these new characters coming into the industry all the time. I have to remind myself that I've had 15 years in the public eye and I'm still working.' That's why Jessica was thrilled to be asked to appear on ITV's Cooking With The Stars, which starts tonight, alongside Jack Osbourne, Natalie Cassidy and Ekin-Su Cülcüloglu. 'It was absolutely brilliant. There was a really cool gang of people and a real mix of characters. It was a pressure cooker of celebs, chefs and the dynamics of it all – and I loved it. I learned loads.' Despite the drive from all the Wrights to succeed, anyone who knows them personally will have witnessed how tight-knit they are. It's why Jessica has been so hurt by reports of a secret hierarchy with them and other stars in Essex, as well as rumours of a poisonous rivalry within her own family. Natalya Wright: Living the Luxe Life 'That really upset us all,' she says. 'Of course we have squabbles, but what family doesn't? We all love each other. It was very bizarre. I don't really get it. 'We are so not that family. We keep to ourselves. We don't want to be those people who interfere with anyone else. We're very friendly around the village [where they live near Ongar]. People know us from living there, not because we're famous. We work really hard to be good people and just be us. 'We've really been through s**t in our past and we've come out the other side. We've done well for ourselves, so why try to tear us down?' My mum wasn't the best at being on camera. She was new to it and would just go along with things Jessica Wright With the rise of old clips of TOWIE on TikTok, they have also been criticised for their previous behaviour on the show, especially that of the family matriarch Carol Wright, in particular when she appeared to roll her eyes at Mark's ex, Lauren Goodger. 'Mum got a bashing on the TOWIE stuff,' she says. 'Obviously, people are siding with whatever. My mum is the best person. She's absolutely hilarious. She's the life and soul of every party. She cares about everyone and that's what the saddest thing was, because she really did look after everyone involved in all those situations. But she never got the credit for it. My mum wasn't the best at being on camera. She was new to it and would just go along with things. 10 Jessica is tight-knit with her family, including brothers Mark and Josh and sister Natalya 'We're talking about editing to make a drama TV show, and it was 15 years ago. This is not me passing blame on to ITV, by the way. They made a freaking great show. I wouldn't change any of it. They did brilliantly. But everything is an extension of what is reality. I get sent those TikToks by friends saying: 'Look at the comments'. 'Do people really think this was real?' she sighs. 'It was real, but it wasn't. It was drama being made out of reality. We would never have even had those conversations with the people if it wasn't for being on the TV show. That's how they're made.' It seems, though, that the criticism has made the family stronger. 'We are really thick-skinned, and in the end we're like: 'Whatever'. If that's what you think of us, that's what you think of us. We couldn't care less. As long as we're happy and we've got our family and we're working, that's all we care about. Honestly, I've got too much to worry about in life.' It had been a year since Presley was diagnosed and I was grieving a lot Jessica Wright Jessica really has had more to worry about. Her son, Presley, three – who she shares with her husband of three years, businessman William Lee-Kemp – has been diagnosed with a rare congenital heart disease, which means the toddler will need major surgery at some point. Having a bicuspid aortic valve means that the valve that controls blood flow from the heart has only two flaps instead of the normal three. It affects only 1% of the population and Jess says the diagnosis came as a 'complete shock'. Presley has to have regular checks. 'It's every four months now, whereas before it was every two months, as their heart grows at a slower rate as they get older. The checks being less frequent helps, as it's really stressful and we don't know how each check is going to go. It all depends on how his heart's growing. So it can be at any point [the surgery is needed].' The condition can cause chest pain, shortness of breath and dizziness, and for Jessica, the prospect of her child suffering was unbearable. It all came to a head, she says, while filming the ITV show. 'When I was filming Cooking With The Stars, it had been a year since he was diagnosed and I was grieving a lot. I was enjoying doing the show, but behind the scenes I wasn't in a very good place. It was really difficult for me, because there were long hours on set. "As well as the emotional aspect of it, I was always worrying about being voted out and how I was being judged by the chefs. So, there was all this pressure of me wanting to do well on the show, but then just processing everything that had happened with Presley as well. 10 Jess with husband William and their son Presley 10 Jess said: 'It had been a year since Presley was diagnosed and I was grieving a lot' Credit: Mark Hayman 'I don't think anyone would've realised what was going on with me, as I tried to keep it all in. But one night I was staying at the hotel with everyone after filming and I broke down. I was in a really bad way, but I was so embarrassed because I worried: 'What must these people think of me?' 'Luckily everyone was so nice. It was a couple of chefs and a couple of celebs. They were all really supportive, especially Natalie Cassidy. She was so kind and said: 'Of course you are crying. It is horrendous what you are going through.' I'd watched her for years on EastEnders. She's the best. 'There was a big cloud over me, but after that it kind of lifted and I felt fine. It shows your frame of mind can really change how you are feeling.' I'm really proud of Arg for facing his addictions Jessica Wright Jessica, who previously opened up to Fabulous about battling postnatal depression when Presley was born, has struggled with depression her whole life. 'I probably should have a therapist,' she admits. 'Doctors recommend therapy when you get a diagnosis like this. I haven't done that yet. I did reach out to one, but I feel better now so I don't want to go and sit and cry for an hour. I don't want to go back there again. But I've had to admit to myself that my depression is quite severe. But I've been on antidepressants for 15 years and I know I have to look after myself.' Jess and her family have always been supportive of other people's struggles, too. The family has rallied around close friend James 'Arg' Argent. The 37-year-old reality star was convicted of a domestic violence charge against his now ex-girlfriend Nicoline Artursson, 32. The Sun revealed he had shoved her down steps during a heated row outside her apartment in Spain in May. He was handed a six-month suspended prison sentence and issued with a two-year restraining order against Nicoline. 10 Michelle and Jess back in 2018 Credit: Rex Features 10 Michelle sharing photos from her first Mother's Day with baby Palma Credit: Instagram/@michkeegan The whole family, including Jess, Mark and Michelle, went to Andalusia in Spain with him last month. Jessica says: 'I've known Arg for a long time and I'm really proud of him for facing his addictions and coming out the other side. But I don't know all the ins and outs of what's been going on and it's not really for me to comment on.' Michelle is amazing. She took to it straight away and we always knew she would Jessica Wright Meanwhile, she has a new family member to attend to – Mark and Michelle welcomed daughter Palma in March. Jessica's brother Josh has two sons, so the family are pleased to have a baby girl. 'The cousins absolutely adore her. The three boys are so energetic, but they're so gentle with her. She's giggling now, it's really sweet. They are a little group and she's the little princess, as she's the only girl. 'Mark's always been really good with the boys. He loves his nephews so much, and Michelle does of course. He's really in his element and loving being a dad. Michelle is amazing. She took to it straight away and we always knew she would. 'The relationship between Mark and me is still the same. We're still critical of each other [laughs] but it's really good. We do more kiddy stuff now and are always getting together on the weekends at one of our houses.' 10 On TOWIE with James Argent and Lydia Bright Credit: SUPPLIED BY That said, the family don't hold back in one particular area. 'There's judgement of meals if you host. Everyone slates it going: 'This bit is good, this bit is bad.' My presentation is not the best, but it always tastes good! We send pictures of our dinners to each other all the time. If it's not that then the family group chat is all pictures and videos of the kids.' And thankfully, they've got mum Carol on hand to help out with childcare. 'My mum has Presley sometimes, but he goes to nursery now. Last week, she had the two boys [Josh's sons] for one day, Palma for two days because Michelle and Mark were both working. And then she had Presley for an afternoon. She was back to back with the grandkids. And I was like: 'You wanted it. . .!' I feel like as you get older, the people that you're close to really goes down Jessica Wright The Wrights are famous for their knees-ups and there is one in the diary for September when Jessica hits the big 4-0. 'I've been a nightmare with plans,' she says. 'I've got an issue with committing to anything in the future. My sister has been badgering me as she wants to arrange it. 'I think we are going to go away for the weekend – all the couples and my sister somewhere in Europe – but then we'll do something in London as well. I don't want a big marquee with 150 people, I'd rather just have my family and some close friends. 'I feel like as you get older, the people that you're close to really goes down. I don't want to throw a party for loads of people that I barely see. But it is a big milestone, so I don't want to make the wrong decision and regret it.' Jessica looks even better now than when she burst on to our screens 15 years ago, but does she worry about ageing? 'There's so much you can do to to de-age you now that's non-invasive. I do all the fads. I've succumbed to the castor oil pack over my stomach. It's supposed to debloat you. Then I bought mouth tape and I want to try putting scar plasters on my wrinkles, too. Though I have all the good ideas, but don't actually do them. 'I have Botox and then I'll do non-invasive lasers. I've noticed I've been getting spots which I never used to get and I'm like: 'Is that because I'm turning 40?'' Jessica also had a breast reduction last year – her boob job, which boosted her to 32DD, was filmed for TOWIE in 2011. 10 Jess with her fellow Coking With The Stars cast Credit: Getty 10 Jess has frozen embryos and hopes to have another baby in the future Credit: Jessica Wright/Instagram What is a bicuspid aortic valve? A bicuspid aortic valve is a congenital condition where the aortic valve has only two flaps instead of the usual three. The aortic valve is a one-way valve which prevents blood coming back into the heart once it has been pumped out to the body. This is usually made of three leaflets, which open and close as the blood is pumped out. However, approximately one to two per cent of people have valves with just two leaflets, known as a bicuspid aortic valve. These valves can often function well throughout a person's life, but the valve can become narrow or leak as they get older. This can leave people at risk of infection in the heart, endocarditis. Common symptoms include shortness of breath, fatigue, chest pain, dizziness, and palpitations - although some people may not experience any. A doctor may hear a swishing sound when using a stethoscope on a patient. The condition is usually diagnosed via an ultrasound scan (echocardiogram), and the valve will need regular monitoring to ensure it is continuing to function well. Children with a bicuspid aortic valve, which do not have narrowing or a leak, do not need to be restricted in terms of their activity or exercise. 'I've taken my implants out, so I'm all natural now [laughs], well apart from my eyelashes, fake tan and hair extensions. 'My sister wouldn't do a thing. My mum can get the hump when she has eyelash extensions or her brows laminated. That's about as far as she goes, but then she doesn't need to. Just look at her, she was born with it all – beautiful. I wasn't. My siblings are the athletically built ones. I've got to work for it. And I like wine too much.' If I could go back in time and not have my boobs done, I would Jessica Wright Does she regret having her boobs done? 'When I was in my 20s it was all about big boobs. If I could go back in time and not have them done I would. However, when I got into the public eye, I was pictured a lot in bikinis and I felt more confident with my boobs being bigger then, and felt sexier. Whereas now I feel like I hate spilling out of a bikini.' And being from such a big family, does Jessica hope to give Presley a brother or sister one day? 'We've frozen our embryos and I would love one day to have a sibling for Presley. But it scares the life out of me. I'm not afraid to admit that. It's not just the lack of sleep, but the emotional turmoil of worrying they're going to be OK. 'I'm also so ambitious and I want to do so much more in my career. I've realised, no matter how much I try, mums can't do it all. I've changed a lot in the last 15 years. Getting older, being married and having a baby humbles you. I've realised what is important. I want to focus on that.'
Daily Mirror
3 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Tourists book 'hotel' for Italian holiday but arrive to something totally different
Matt Hey was excited to spend a few days of his European holiday relaxing at a resort in Sorrento, but he was in for a big surprise when he arrived at the accommodation A tourist was left baffled after arriving at what he believed was a luxury resort in Sorrento, Italy, only to find that his party were the only guests there. Matt Hey, from Sydney, Australia, had been travelling across Europe for four weeks, living in cheap accommodation in cities like London, Rome and Pisa to make the most of the experience travellling with friends. However, the party then decided to splash out on their next accommodation. As they were heading towards the Italian coastal town Sorrento, they decided to book in to what they believed was a luxurious resort by the sea. However, they soon realised their mishap when they arrived at their holiday destination. Taking to TikTok, Matt was seen recounting the moment they realised their "hotel resort" ended up coming with a lot more than they'd expected. "I'm just baffled, I'm honestly baffled," Matt said at the start of the video as he looked out over the view of the nearby sea. "This is bizarre." "So we got here, we walk through the gates up there," Matt said pointing to the gates in question. "We walk down here because Google Maps just said it was at the end there. We walk all the way down here and I'm saying 'wow, isn't this nice and peaceful and quiet.'" He went onto say he started to think it was weird that they hadn't seen another person on the premises. As they get to the main building, he goes onto explain that he first thought it looked like someone's house before assuming it's the reception area where they could check in, or possibly one of the rooms. "Anyway, so then I'm like, let's go around looking this way and we'll have a look," he said before the video cut to them arriving at a different area. "And we get down here and this is what I see." Warning: Below video may contain offensive language He went onto show a big patio with a view of the sea. There were also some tables and chairs to sit down at, but again not a single other person could be seen. He then turned the camera once again towards the house, which has a balcony with a big glass door on the first floor. "There's like a little wedding reception area sort of thing," he said before turning the camera to a different door of the house with white curtains hanging from it. They then walked closer to the end of the patio, which showed that the "hotel" was located right on a cliff which looked down onto the bright blue water, with a beach right below them. "Looks amazing, right? So I'm thinking, 'why haven't I seen anyone yet?'" he questioned, before revealing that a woman suddenly walked up to them asking if they needed help. Matt went onto say that he'd told the woman that they were in the wrong place, but said they were looking to check in to their room, to which she replied she'd call the concierge. They then continued to explore the area, finding another area that looked like a "wedding dance floor" according to Matt, who said he believed there must be smaller villas for them to stay in. The concierge then met them, and they proceeded to do the check in at one of the sitting areas by the dancefloor, before he handed them the key. He then took them to the house, which also looked like it'd been decorated for a wedding. "And to be clear, we thought we were getting a hotel," he said. "Don't get me know, I'm not complaining, we're going to have a beautiful time here. But we didn't need an entire wedding venue. I'm rattled, actually. Like, genuinely rattled." In the caption of the video, Matt revealed that they'd paid $600AUD (£292) per night to stay at Villa Antiche Mura Relais in Sorrento, which describes themselves as "villas for weddings" on their website. Taking to the comments, people were shocked when they realised just how much they'd gotten for their money. But some were also baffled as to how they'd managed to make this "mistake." "Is this Sorrento?? How is this 600 dollars?????" one baffled person asked. Another suggested: "Invite some locals round for a party not like you don't have set-up haha." "Send the details I've found my wedding venue," a third viewer said. Another person shared: "I got married in Tuscany because we got the wedding plus a full week's accommodations for 30 people for less than we would have paid for a single-day sit-down dinner wedding for 150 people at a major US city."
Scottish Sun
4 hours ago
- Scottish Sun
Kelly Brook shows off curvy figure in tiny white plunging bikini as fans praise her ‘natural beauty'
Fans have swooned over Kelly's natural beauty and figure BEAUTY BROOK Kelly Brook shows off curvy figure in tiny white plunging bikini as fans praise her 'natural beauty' Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) STUNNING actress and model Kelly Brook has wowed her fans yet again with another offering from her sunkissed holiday abroad. The 45-year-old and her husband Jeremy Parisi, 40, are currently enjoying a lavish vacation in Latina, Italy. Sign up for the Entertainment newsletter Sign up 4 Kelly Brook has shown off her sensational figure in a tiny white bikini Credit: Instagram 4 Kelly was seen beaming in the new snaps Credit: Instagram 4 She is currently on holiday with her husband Credit: Instagram During the week, Kelly was seen jumping off of a yacht while donning a black two-piece bikini. And now Kelly has stripped off beneath the sunshine yet again for another post. Posing in a tiny white bikini, Kelly left her fans swooning over her figure. Captioning the stunning post, Kelly wrote: "Italian Summers !!! Made the Hubby take some pictures of me." In the photos, the beautiful starlet was seen posing up a storm in Italy. Standing by the ocean, Kelly rocked a baseball cap and a tiny white bikini that displayed her ample assets for all to see. Her toned stomach and thighs were visible, as was her cleavage, and makeup free face. Commenting underneath the sizzling set of snaps, fans went wild and were quick to swoon over her "natural beauty". KELLY IS A 'NATURAL BEAUTY', SAY FANS One person wrote: "Been an absolute natural beauty from the beginning! never change! X." "You are absolutely stunning and so natural It's also very refreshing Kelly," said another. Kelly Brook looks incredible in a bikini as she jumps off yacht - after revealing two stone weight loss A third person added: "Naturally beautiful. Sexy. Lovely inside and out and nothing fake about you at all. A rare gem these days. Keep being you @iamkb xx." While a fourth said: "Absolute peak woman. You have only got better with age." "Does this woman never age?" asked a fifth, adding: "From many years ago to now I have admired her. "Not only is she a natural beauty and all woman she has the most wonderful sense of humour absolutely hilarious on times on the radio. "Her husband struck gold when he married her. Stunning!!!" A sixth then said: "You're my dream. I've had a crush on you since about 1997. I used to have posters of you on my bedroom wall." While a seventh swooned: "Best figure ever." And an eighth declared: "Wow….. Jeremy is one lucky fella." KELLY'S 2 STONE WEIGHT LOSS Kelly previously opened up about how she lost two stone with the help of SlimFast after being unveiled as its brand ambassador in 2019. She told the Daily Star: 'I've dropped two dress sizes, thanks to SlimFast. "It's a simple and effective plan, which is perfect for anyone like me who is always on the go! "I also love that you can eat up to six times a day."
