Let's not kid ourselves. The US has plenty of kings — even here in SLO County

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7 hours ago

As I write this, I'm in England, a country with an actual king. His face on the coins and his brother, Prince Harry The Spare, exiled just down the Central Coast in Montecito.
As an English republican — that is, someone who believes our monarchy is an outdated constitutional relic and no one should wield power by accident of birth — I know what it means to be a 'royal subject.' Brits still bow to a crown, but at least we admit it.
In America, the story's a bit different. It all started so well. You rebelled against George III and threw his tea in the harbor. Then drafted a Constitution to ensure that power would flow from 'we the people,' not from coronations, crowns or family trees.
Alas, two and a half centuries later, it could be déjà vu all over again. These days, Americans seem to coronate dynasties in ballot boxes, but still convince yourselves they're free.
Democrats kept their own Mad King George on the throne well past his mental sell by date, before crowning Kamala without a primary and Hillary without her husband. All the while, worshipping the memory of the Kennedy royal family. Not to forget Gov. Gavin Newsom, California's coiffed Dauphin, who revealed his own royal ambitions with that unforgettable 'let them eat cake' moment. Sipping wine with his court in the French Laundry while his loyal subjects were locked down at home.
Meanwhile, Republicans kneel before Donald Trump like he's the Sun King in a red tie, while still polishing the family crest of the House of Bush and ignoring the unholy shenanigans of Trump's sons posturing and preening themselves for 'Succession'.
Party dynasties everywhere. Both replacing ceremonial robes with unelected aristocracies dressed in civilian drag. The crowns are self-funded, while duty's been outsourced to the Musks, McNamaras and Rumsfelds of the world.
Which by Royal Decree, otherwise known as my editor, brings us to the recent 'No Kings Day' protests. Billed as a rejection of Trump's authoritarian theatrics, the demonstrations instead felt like a coronation gift. Because nothing emboldens a narcissist like coordinated national outrage. These weren't efforts to persuade or change minds. They were virtue bonfires, designed not to illuminate but to signal. The only real outcome was to embolden the very man they want to exile. The delicious irony is that if the mob are successful in their calls for impeachment, they'll soon be bending a knee to his successor, President Vance!
The Republicans have performative form, too. Defending the First Amendment until someone reads Toni Morrison's 'Beloved' in a school library, or uses a pronoun they don't approve of. Suddenly, it's not about liberty, it's about 'protecting the children.' Off with the superintendents' heads! Out go the books and the free speech they claimed to revere.
Before you think this is just national theater, look closer to home.
Right here in San Luis Obispo County, we have our own little Versailles unfolding. Not on the National Mall, but in the council chambers of Paso Robles. Republican Councilmember Chris Bausch, elected to serve the public, decided that transparency was beneath his royal station. When The Tribune filed lawful public records requests, he simply refused to respond, acting like an anointed monarch whose efforts to remove an insubordinate were nobody's business but his co-conspirators.
Bausch, like Louis XVI before the fall of Paris, surrounded himself with a small cabal of loyalists. His own royal courtiers, courtesans, jesters and a personal media town crier eager to publish proclamations unchallenged and unchecked.
That fantasy collapsed when a judge ordered him to comply. He's now being sued by The Tribune and his own city has filed a cross-complaint. Not to defend him, but to shield itself from the escalating legal bills. Those costs may be considerable. He might not lose his head, but he may lose his house!
It's not government; it's dinner theater.
This is what happens when public servants begin to act like sovereigns. They forget they were elected, not ordained. That the public record isn't a privilege, it's a right.
So yes, let's talk about 'No Kings.' But let's also remember that monarchy isn't just a crown or a title. It's a mindset that alas appears alive and well in Washington, D.C., Sacramento and San Luis Obispo County.
We see it when politicians treat protests as treason. When dissent is framed as disloyalty. When transparency is treated as a nuisance rather than a duty. We see it in the left's moral sanctimony and the right's faux populism. Both drenched in grievance and theatre. Both drunk on the applause of their respective courts.
The Founding Fathers didn't leave a constitutional monarchy just to stage a theatrical one.
So here's a modest suggestion for those who still believe in the promise of The Republic. If you're serious about 'No Kings,' start with your own side. Demand transparency. Question succession plans. Challenge any leader, left or right, who stops listening to the people and starts listening only to their own reflection.
The 'framers of liberty' didn't oust a king so power could hide behind corporations, committees, conspirators, dynasties and technocrats. If the people don't reclaim the stage soon, they'll be left clapping from the cheap seats while the curtain falls and democracy takes its final bow.
Clive Pinder is an English republican and host of KVEC's 'CeaseFire.' He's navigated monarchies, military juntas and democracies, only to find the real danger lies in the 'true believers''on all sides.