The surprising benefits of going to bed angry at your partner
Arguments often feel urgent no matter what's going on for some of the couples Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten sees in her practice as a clinical psychologist in Potomac, Maryland.
This desire to resolve a conflict before heading to bed is particularly common for clients who grew up in a house where family members fought nonstop, said Whiten, author of '52 E-Mails to Transform Your Marriage: How to Reignite Intimacy and Rebuild Your Relationship.' 'It doesn't really occur to you to just shelve it and go to sleep.'
For others, the tendency is because of the age-old adage that you should never go to bed angry — which sometimes comes from 'the belief that unresolved anger can fester overnight, leading to deeper resentment,' said Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist in New York City, via email.
'Its wisdom is likely to be rooted in the idea that resolution to arguments is essential for maintaining harmony and preventing even more emotional distance,' Romanoff said. 'Historically, it's a call for connection and prioritizing the relationship over lingering negativity.'
Others' resistance to dropping an argument for the night may stem from self-comparison or toxic positivity, Whiten said — which can lead you to think you should be able to quickly discuss things with your partner, apologize, resolve the issue and happily call it a night.
There's also the concern — sometimes in hindsight — about what may happen if you let your partner go about their next day with that lingering resentment between you two or without having said I love you.
All considered, never going to bed angry sounds like a good rule to live by. But it isn't always useful, Romanoff said.
'Its rigidity can overlook individual needs, rest and perspective,' Romanoff said. 'Applying this convention without discretion can actually be detrimental to your relationship.'
Putting an argument on pause and going to sleep upset is a skill you can practice, Whiten said. Here's how to do it and still keep your relationship intact.
Delaying sleep to resolve an argument can backfire for several reasons.
When you're exhausted, you're less inhibited and thus have less control of your emotions, so you're more impulsive and likely to say or do things you don't mean and will later regret, experts said.
Your problem-solving, listening and reasoning skills, which are all necessary for effective communication, can take a hit too, especially if you're really worked up. Those factors, as well as being under the influence, can further exacerbate the problem, Whiten said.
A good night's rest, however, can completely reset the brain.
Sleep 'reduces your brain's reactivity to negative stimuli — or perceived negative stimuli — helps process emotions and restores your ability to approach problems rationally,' Romanoff said. 'A well-rested brain is better equipped to engage in thoughtful, respectful communication.'
Sometimes, what you were arguing about will no longer seem important the next day. For whatever concerns that remain, though, you'll be more able to express them in a way that's less emotional or defensive and, ultimately, better for the relationship.
Except on the rare occasions when something important and relevant to the conflict is about to happen late at night, Romanoff said all arguments should wait until the next day.
Let's say you want to go to sleep but are struggling because the issue feels urgent, you're lying awake ruminating while your partner is sleeping soundly, or you're worried something bad might happen.
These feelings could stem from 'attachment panic,' Whiten said. That's the fear that your attachment figure or closest relationship, typically your parents in childhood or your partner in adulthood, isn't there for you or doesn't love you.
'That's very evolutionarily motivated to try to get back to a state where you feel secure in the relationship,' Whiten added.
In many of these cases, people feel the only way to manage their anxiety is to immediately try to repair things. But when you're worked up and tired, conversations with your partner won't go as well as when you're calm and rested. In fact, these conversations may even lead to a situation that heightens your anxiety.
Regardless of why you just can't let it go, there are things you can do to settle down enough to get restful sleep.
In some relationships, one person wants to discuss conflict more than the other, Whiten said. That person may worry that if the conversation doesn't happen right away, it never will — meaning the issue will never be resolved and the security and connection in the relationship will never be restored.
That's why experts said it's critical for couples to commit to a time and place to follow up as soon as it's reasonably possible and when you're both in a better state of mind. Anticipating that things will be resolved soon can help calm you enough to sleep.
Couples can also try to maintain any bedtime rituals that reinforce the foundation of the relationship, such as saying 'I love you,' cuddling or kissing each other good night, Romanoff said.
Still engaging in these rituals communicates that your commitment to each other is more important than your current disagreement, offering reassurance without dismissing the conflict and balancing your immediate emotional security with the need for sleep, Romanoff said.
Emotions are generally fleeting, but your commitment to, and care for, your partner likely aren't. You can even say all these things.
If you're reading this tip and thinking, 'If I'm mad, there's no way I'm saying 'I love you,'' that stubbornness is part of what leads to frequent conflict, Romanoff said.
'The more you say, 'I can't learn new ways of engaging,' the less likely the relationship is to work out,' she added. 'In a healthy relationship, people are always learning new skills.'
You don't have to do these things happily or romantically — a monotonous 'I love you' or a brief peck can still go a long way. It's not about denying your anger but about affirming the bond you share, Romanoff said.
Self-regulating can also be important. You could try meditating, journaling, doing breathing exercises or distracting yourself by taking a quick shower or immersing your hands in cold water, Whiten said. Ask yourself, 'How can I handle things in a way that will make my future self proud? How can I care for myself as a parent would care for a child who's upset?'
Learning how to soothe yourself 'is the real deep work that many people do with anxious attachment, especially in therapy,' Whiten said.
Whenever you do have that follow-up conversation with your partner, remember that although arguments are inevitable, how you handle them defines your relationship and sometimes your sleep health, Romanoff said.
'Treat conflicts as opportunities to grow closer, not further apart,' Romanoff added. 'It's not about always maintaining a perfect relationship; it's about growing, learning and progressing through life together, even in the messy moments.'
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
CNN
a day ago
- CNN
The Manhattan shooter had a previous arrest and 2 psychiatric holds, sources say. How was he able to own a gun?
Crime Gun violence Gun control Mental healthFacebookTweetLink Follow New York City's deadliest shooting in 25 years – in a state with some of the toughest gun laws in the nation – is raising questions about how a gunman with a history of mental health issues was able to obtain multiple firearms and drive undetected across several states to carry out the attack. The gunman who walked into a Midtown Manhattan office building on Monday, M4 assault-style rifle in hand, and sprayed it with gunfire, had a license to carry a concealed weapon in his home state of Nevada, officials said. He also had been placed on psychiatric hold in 2022 and 2024, law enforcement sources told CNN. But that may not have necessarily prohibited him from obtaining his license in 2022 or buying firearms – depending on the circumstances of the holds, according to gun law experts. Shane Devon Tamura, 27, of Las Vegas, killed four people at the 345 Park Avenue office building and injured another before he died by suicide, police said. While public health experts continue to stress that the vast majority of people experiencing mental health challenges are not violent, questions remain about the details of Tamura's psychiatric holds and if they would have shown up in a background check. The case underscores the wide gap in sharing mental health data with the federal government – an issue that can be attributed to inadequate funding to manage or require the data, as well as privacy issues, according to Thomas Chittum, former associate deputy director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Tamura had 'a documented mental health history,' according to New York Police Department Commissioner Jessica Tisch, and a previous run-in with law enforcement. Tamura was arrested and charged with misdemeanor trespassing in 2023 in Clark County, Nevada, after he refused to leave a Las Vegas casino after attempting to cash out about $5,000, according to a police incident report. A court database suggests a district attorney declined to pursue the case, meaning the incident wouldn't have prevented him from obtaining a gun. The case also throws private gun sales under the microscope. The AR-15 style weapon used in the shooting was legally purchased last year by the gunman's supervisor at the Vegas casino where he worked, two law enforcement officials told CNN. The supervisor then assembled it and sold it to Tamura for $1,400, the officials said, citing an interview with the supervisor who is cooperating with authorities. It's not yet clear whether the private sale between Tamura and the supervisor involved a background check. But the supervisor, who has not been named by authorities, could face legal jeopardy if the investigation reveals the firearm transfer took place in Nevada and the private sale didn't follow a state law requiring background checks for private sales, according to Warren Eller, gun violence expert and associate professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. As police work to uncover a motive behind the shooting, investigators are digging into Tamura's history and examining are how he obtained multiple firearms and made his way from Las Vegas to New York City with the assault rifle. A search of the gunman's car turned up a host of items, including additional ammunition, another loaded weapon, headphones potentially used for target practice, two cell phones, the antidepressant Zoloft and cannabis, a law enforcement source told CNN. A note found in the gunman's pocket claimed he had CTE, a disease linked to head trauma, one that's often associated with football players, a source told CNN. New York City's chief medical examiner's office will test Tamura's remains for CTE, an office spokesperson told CNN Tuesday. The only way to diagnose the disease is through an autopsy of the brain. As for the psychiatric holds, it's difficult to say without knowing the details whether they would have shown up in a background check or prevented Tamura from purchasing weapons, experts say. 'If you were on a 48-hour hold, if you were released at the end of that, it would not affect your ability to possess firearms under federal law,' Chittum said. Most states barely touch on the area of mental health when a person applies for a gun license due to concerns over privacy issues and stigmatizing people who have mental health issues, according to Eller. One concern, for example, is soldiers who struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, might be reluctant to seek help because they fear their treatment history would deprive them of possessing firearms. 'Between the lack of funding to make sure the background check system is effective for those problems and the legal hang ups with advocacy groups who will challenge this, that's a long road ahead,' Eller said. There's a concerted effort by veterans' groups and advocacy organizations like the American Civil Liberties Union to fight against the sharing of mental health records with the National Crime Information Center and local law enforcement, which most states rely on for background checks, according to Eller. 'Groups have been combating that because simply being mentally ill doesn't mean you're mentally incompetent, nor does it mean you're a danger,' he added. However, in cases where a person was declared incompetent by a court, faced a restraining order, involuntarily committed or deemed a danger to themselves or others due to a mental illness, the federal government restricts firearm ownership and states largely follow federal law with some variations, according to Chittum. 'Even when we have someone who has a mental health issue that prohibits them under the law, the next question is whether the background check identifies that. Historically, mental health records have been some of the hardest for FBI to obtain when doing background checks,' Chittum said, adding there have been efforts to improve the availability of those records in some legislation. As New York homicide detectives work to piece together a timeline of events leading up to the deadly Manhattan attack, the way Tamura obtained the high-powered M4 rifle from an associate and whether Nevada's background check laws were violated will likely come under scrutiny. In Nevada, the private sale of a firearm between two parties requires a federal background check before the transfer is complete. Both individuals must go to a federally licensed firearm dealer, which conducts the background check on their behalf. There are limited exceptions, including firearm transfers between immediate family members, which do not require this process. If the private sale between Tamura and the supervisor did abide by the law and the facts can't prove the supervisor had any knowledge of possible disqualifiers in Tamura's history, including intended use of the firearm, then the seller likely won't be prosecuted, according to Eller and Chittum. Federal law doesn't impose any obligation on private gun sellers to identify the buyer, conduct a background check or keep any record of the sale, Chittum said. The Nevada law enforcing background checks for private sales was implemented in January 2020, closing the so-called 'gun show loophole' that gun safety advocates have long criticized as a means for bypassing records checks that can flag past criminal history. Most states conduct background checks through federally licensed dealers relying on the FBI's National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS), while some states like Nevada have a designated 'point of contact' system that offers access to state criminal history records. Under federal law, an unlicensed person buying a firearm directly from a gun dealer must also undergo a background check, however, those who already have a concealed carry permit – like Tamura had – may be exempt because they would have already undergone a background check to get the permit. Hours after the shooting in Manhattan, Las Vegas Police Crimestoppers received a tip from a licensed firearms dealer saying he remembered Tamura sought to buy an aftermarket trigger assembly for an M4 rifle at a Las Vegas gun show in June, a senior law enforcement official told CNN. Tamura returned the trigger assembly the next day, saying he needed the money back to buy 500 rounds of .223 ammunition – the same kind of ammunition used in the New York shooting, according to the official. The gun dealer told police Tamura came back the next day with additional funds and re-purchased the trigger assembly, the official said. Tamura's case calls attention to the 'gray area' in the federal regulation and enforcement of private sales that exists when people buy firearms for cash in a private sale, according to Eller. Because a concealed carry permit would exempt an individual for five years from a background check when buying a firearm from a licensed dealer, it creates a 'nuanced area' where a person could obtain a license to carry and then subsequently be convicted or have a mental health prohibitor and might still be able to use their card to purchase a firearm and avoid the background check, Chittum said. Some states recognize this issue and routinely run background checks on licensed holders to determine if their license is still valid, Chittum said. Red flag laws, including the one in Nevada, aim to keep guns out of the hands of those who pose a threat to themselves or others. But such laws are only effective if the individual demonstrated warning signs so that others can alert law enforcement and initiate the process of revoking the person's firearm, Chittum said. It's not clear if Tamura demonstrated any warning signs that would trigger the state's red flag law. The style of weapon Tamura used to slaughter four people has commonly been seen in some of the nation's deadliest mass shootings and has prompted renewed calls by progressive lawmakers for increased regulation. 'In the State of New York, you cannot buy one of these,' Gov. Kathy Hochul told CNN on Tuesday, criticizing what she said were 'much looser laws in the State of Nevada than we have here.' Hochul called on federal lawmakers to pass a national assault weapon ban that would limit access to high-powered guns like the AR-15 style rifle used in Monday's massacre and slammed GOP counterparts whom she accused of being 'intimidated by the gun lobby.' 'We need a national awakening here, people need to be talked about this once again and it shouldn't just happen in the wake of a tragedy like this,' said Hochul. CNN's Mark Morales contributed to this report.
CNN
a day ago
- CNN
The Manhattan shooter had a previous arrest and 2 psychiatric holds, sources say. How was he able to own a gun?
Crime Gun violence Gun control Mental healthFacebookTweetLink Follow New York City's deadliest shooting in 25 years – in a state with some of the toughest gun laws in the nation – is raising questions about how a gunman with a history of mental health issues was able to obtain multiple firearms and drive undetected across several states to carry out the attack. The gunman who walked into a Midtown Manhattan office building on Monday, M4 assault-style rifle in hand, and sprayed it with gunfire, had a license to carry a concealed weapon in his home state of Nevada, officials said. He also had been placed on psychiatric hold in 2022 and 2024, law enforcement sources told CNN. But that may not have necessarily prohibited him from obtaining his license in 2022 or buying firearms – depending on the circumstances of the holds, according to gun law experts. Shane Devon Tamura, 27, of Las Vegas, killed four people at the 345 Park Avenue office building and injured another before he died by suicide, police said. While public health experts continue to stress that the vast majority of people experiencing mental health challenges are not violent, questions remain about the details of Tamura's psychiatric holds and if they would have shown up in a background check. The case underscores the wide gap in sharing mental health data with the federal government – an issue that can be attributed to inadequate funding to manage or require the data, as well as privacy issues, according to Thomas Chittum, former associate deputy director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Tamura had 'a documented mental health history,' according to New York Police Department Commissioner Jessica Tisch, and a previous run-in with law enforcement. Tamura was arrested and charged with misdemeanor trespassing in 2023 in Clark County, Nevada, after he refused to leave a Las Vegas casino after attempting to cash out about $5,000, according to a police incident report. A court database suggests a district attorney declined to pursue the case, meaning the incident wouldn't have prevented him from obtaining a gun. The case also throws private gun sales under the microscope. The AR-15 style weapon used in the shooting was legally purchased last year by the gunman's supervisor at the Vegas casino where he worked, two law enforcement officials told CNN. The supervisor then assembled it and sold it to Tamura for $1,400, the officials said, citing an interview with the supervisor who is cooperating with authorities. It's not yet clear whether the private sale between Tamura and the supervisor involved a background check. But the supervisor, who has not been named by authorities, could face legal jeopardy if the investigation reveals the firearm transfer took place in Nevada and the private sale didn't follow a state law requiring background checks for private sales, according to Warren Eller, gun violence expert and associate professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. As police work to uncover a motive behind the shooting, investigators are digging into Tamura's history and examining are how he obtained multiple firearms and made his way from Las Vegas to New York City with the assault rifle. A search of the gunman's car turned up a host of items, including additional ammunition, another loaded weapon, headphones potentially used for target practice, two cell phones, the antidepressant Zoloft and cannabis, a law enforcement source told CNN. A note found in the gunman's pocket claimed he had CTE, a disease linked to head trauma, one that's often associated with football players, a source told CNN. New York City's chief medical examiner's office will test Tamura's remains for CTE, an office spokesperson told CNN Tuesday. The only way to diagnose the disease is through an autopsy of the brain. As for the psychiatric holds, it's difficult to say without knowing the details whether they would have shown up in a background check or prevented Tamura from purchasing weapons, experts say. 'If you were on a 48-hour hold, if you were released at the end of that, it would not affect your ability to possess firearms under federal law,' Chittum said. Most states barely touch on the area of mental health when a person applies for a gun license due to concerns over privacy issues and stigmatizing people who have mental health issues, according to Eller. One concern, for example, is soldiers who struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, might be reluctant to seek help because they fear their treatment history would deprive them of possessing firearms. 'Between the lack of funding to make sure the background check system is effective for those problems and the legal hang ups with advocacy groups who will challenge this, that's a long road ahead,' Eller said. There's a concerted effort by veterans' groups and advocacy organizations like the American Civil Liberties Union to fight against the sharing of mental health records with the National Crime Information Center and local law enforcement, which most states rely on for background checks, according to Eller. 'Groups have been combating that because simply being mentally ill doesn't mean you're mentally incompetent, nor does it mean you're a danger,' he added. However, in cases where a person was declared incompetent by a court, faced a restraining order, involuntarily committed or deemed a danger to themselves or others due to a mental illness, the federal government restricts firearm ownership and states largely follow federal law with some variations, according to Chittum. 'Even when we have someone who has a mental health issue that prohibits them under the law, the next question is whether the background check identifies that. Historically, mental health records have been some of the hardest for FBI to obtain when doing background checks,' Chittum said, adding there have been efforts to improve the availability of those records in some legislation. As New York homicide detectives work to piece together a timeline of events leading up to the deadly Manhattan attack, the way Tamura obtained the high-powered M4 rifle from an associate and whether Nevada's background check laws were violated will likely come under scrutiny. In Nevada, the private sale of a firearm between two parties requires a federal background check before the transfer is complete. Both individuals must go to a federally licensed firearm dealer, which conducts the background check on their behalf. There are limited exceptions, including firearm transfers between immediate family members, which do not require this process. If the private sale between Tamura and the supervisor did abide by the law and the facts can't prove the supervisor had any knowledge of possible disqualifiers in Tamura's history, including intended use of the firearm, then the seller likely won't be prosecuted, according to Eller and Chittum. Federal law doesn't impose any obligation on private gun sellers to identify the buyer, conduct a background check or keep any record of the sale, Chittum said. The Nevada law enforcing background checks for private sales was implemented in January 2020, closing the so-called 'gun show loophole' that gun safety advocates have long criticized as a means for bypassing records checks that can flag past criminal history. Most states conduct background checks through federally licensed dealers relying on the FBI's National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS), while some states like Nevada have a designated 'point of contact' system that offers access to state criminal history records. Under federal law, an unlicensed person buying a firearm directly from a gun dealer must also undergo a background check, however, those who already have a concealed carry permit – like Tamura had – may be exempt because they would have already undergone a background check to get the permit. Hours after the shooting in Manhattan, Las Vegas Police Crimestoppers received a tip from a licensed firearms dealer saying he remembered Tamura sought to buy an aftermarket trigger assembly for an M4 rifle at a Las Vegas gun show in June, a senior law enforcement official told CNN. Tamura returned the trigger assembly the next day, saying he needed the money back to buy 500 rounds of .223 ammunition – the same kind of ammunition used in the New York shooting, according to the official. The gun dealer told police Tamura came back the next day with additional funds and re-purchased the trigger assembly, the official said. Tamura's case calls attention to the 'gray area' in the federal regulation and enforcement of private sales that exists when people buy firearms for cash in a private sale, according to Eller. Because a concealed carry permit would exempt an individual for five years from a background check when buying a firearm from a licensed dealer, it creates a 'nuanced area' where a person could obtain a license to carry and then subsequently be convicted or have a mental health prohibitor and might still be able to use their card to purchase a firearm and avoid the background check, Chittum said. Some states recognize this issue and routinely run background checks on licensed holders to determine if their license is still valid, Chittum said. Red flag laws, including the one in Nevada, aim to keep guns out of the hands of those who pose a threat to themselves or others. But such laws are only effective if the individual demonstrated warning signs so that others can alert law enforcement and initiate the process of revoking the person's firearm, Chittum said. It's not clear if Tamura demonstrated any warning signs that would trigger the state's red flag law. The style of weapon Tamura used to slaughter four people has commonly been seen in some of the nation's deadliest mass shootings and has prompted renewed calls by progressive lawmakers for increased regulation. 'In the State of New York, you cannot buy one of these,' Gov. Kathy Hochul told CNN on Tuesday, criticizing what she said were 'much looser laws in the State of Nevada than we have here.' Hochul called on federal lawmakers to pass a national assault weapon ban that would limit access to high-powered guns like the AR-15 style rifle used in Monday's massacre and slammed GOP counterparts whom she accused of being 'intimidated by the gun lobby.' 'We need a national awakening here, people need to be talked about this once again and it shouldn't just happen in the wake of a tragedy like this,' said Hochul. CNN's Mark Morales contributed to this report.
CNN
2 days ago
- CNN
A doctor explains what people should know about the ‘cortisol cocktail' that's gone viral on TikTok
(CNN) — If you've spent time on TikTok or Instagram lately, chances are the 'cortisol cocktail' trending as the latest wellness hack has appeared in your feed. This colorful, nonalcoholic drink typically contains a mix of coconut water, citrus juice and certain salts. Also called an 'adrenal cocktail,' it has amassed millions of views, with influencers claiming it can lower stress hormones, boost energy and balance your body's adrenal function. Almost half of Americans (49%) report frequent bouts of stress, and the number of people in the United States who are feeling stressed has been rising for the past two decades, according to a 2024 Gallup survey. In these uncertain times, a stress-relieving tonic feels just right as a soothing balm, but does it actually live up to the health claims? What is cortisol and its relationship to stress? What nutrients are in these drinks and how are they purported to influence cortisol? Do they work? Who should be wary of trying this concoction? To guide us through these questions, I spoke with CNN wellness expert Dr. Leana Wen. Wen is an emergency physician and adjunct associate professor at George Washington University. She previously was Baltimore's health commissioner. CNN: What is cortisol and its relationship to stress? Dr. Leana Wen: Cortisol is a steroid hormone produced by the adrenal glands, which are organs located above the kidneys. The hormone plays a vital role in many bodily functions, including regulating metabolism, blood sugar, blood pressure, sleep-wake cycles and immune responses. Cortisol is sometimes called the 'stress hormone' because its levels naturally rise when our bodies perceive a threat or stressful situation. This reaction is part of the body's 'fight-or-flight' response, helping people stay alert and react quickly when needed. Those temporary increases in cortisol are a helpful evolutionary adaptation. Problems can arise when cortisol levels stay elevated for prolonged periods of time, which can happen when someone is under chronic stress. Persistently elevated cortisol is linked to problems such as poor sleep, anxiety, high blood pressure and even weakened immunity. There are a number of medical conditions that can lead to abnormally high or low cortisol levels. Taking high doses of steroid medications or adrenal gland tumors are examples of conditions that can cause excess cortisol. Addison's disease, or primary adrenal insufficiency, is when the adrenal gland stops its usual function. This condition, and problems with the pituitary gland in the brain, could result in low cortisol levels. CNN: What is in these 'cortisol cocktail' drinks, and how are they purported to influence cortisol? Wen: Recipes vary, but they tend to have a combination of coconut water, juice (usually orange or some other citrus fruit) and some salts (commonly sea salt and/or magnesium). Sparkling water is often added to taste. Contrary to what the name may suggest, it typically does not contain any alcohol. Each of the primary ingredients is supposed to play a role in supporting adrenal function and lowering stress. Coconut water is high in potassium, which helps maintain proper fluid and electrolyte balance. Citrus juice offers vitamin C, which plays a role in adrenal gland function. Salt and magnesium are supposed to replenish minerals depleted by stress. Moreover, some researchers believe that magnesium itself may help reduce feelings of anxiety or stress. Because of this, some versions of the cortisol cocktail include magnesium powder and/or cream of tartar, which has a high concentration of magnesium along with potassium and other salts. CNN: Is there evidence that this drink actually lowers cortisol and reduces stress? Wen: There is no scientific evidence that this drink has the effects it purports. While it's true that nutrients such as potassium, vitamin C and magnesium are important for healthy adrenal function, they are typically obtained in adequate amounts through a balanced diet. Bananas are the classic food high in potassium, but many others are packed with this mineral, too, such as raisins, apricots and tuna. Vitamin C can be found in citrus fruits, strawberries and peppers. And magnesium is also in many foods, including beans, peanut butter and leafy green vegetables. True deficiencies in these nutrients can cause health problems, but such deficiencies are uncommon in otherwise healthy individuals. More importantly, there is no evidence that consuming extra amounts beyond what the body needs will provide additional benefits or that it will meaningfully lower cortisol levels. CNN: What about the claim that the drink can treat a condition that influencers call 'adrenal fatigue'? Wen: The claim that some influencers have promoted on social media is that there is a condition of 'adrenal fatigue' in which stress is overwhelming adrenal glands and people end up feeling tired, anxious and unable to cope with daily life. However, the symptoms could stem from a variety of causes, including poor sleep, mental health conditions, and undiagnosed diseases such as anemia, hypothyroidism and diabetes. Importantly, there is no recognized medical diagnosis of adrenal fatigue. Outside of cases in which there are specific diseases causing adrenal insufficiency, there is no evidence that somehow the adrenal glands get overwhelmed and lose their ability to function. The symptoms often attributed to adrenal fatigue are real, but they are better explained by other, well‑studied causes. One risk I see is that people might rely on this so-called remedy instead of seeking medical evaluation for the real issues behind their fatigue or stress. CNN: What about all the people on the internet who claim that they have had positive health outcomes as a result of this drink? Wen: It may be that some individuals were not getting enough fluids or electrolytes before, and the additional hydration from the drink helped them feel more energized or clearheaded. There is also the placebo effect to consider: When people expect a certain treatment to work, they may genuinely feel better simply because they believe they are doing something beneficial for their health. The ritual of making and drinking this drink could itself reinforce this sense of control and care, which can have real psychological benefits even if the drink's ingredients have no direct impact on cortisol. CNN: Who should be wary of trying this so-called tonic? Wen: People who should be cautious include individuals with chronic medical conditions such as kidney disease, heart disease and diabetes. Certain individuals with kidney disease need to be especially wary of food containing high amounts of potassium. Those with heart failure may be advised to restrict their fluid intake. The sugar in fruit juice may also be problematic for some people with diabetes. Individuals interested in this drink should check with their doctor before adding this or any influencer-promoted wellness product to their diet. They should ask if any of their medications might interact with the drink's ingredients. And if they are experiencing symptoms — such as fatigue, anxiety or trouble sleeping — that prompted them to try this cocktail, they should discuss these concerns with their doctor to determine whether further evaluation is needed.
