'I was just a very silly father': Jet Li, dad of 4, reflects on parenting, Entertainment News

AsiaOne

5 days ago

Jet Li got candid about fatherhood in two videos uploaded to his Xiaohongshu profile on July 24 and 25.
The 62-year-old China-born action star, who has been Singaporean since 2009, said the meaning of parenting changed for him throughout the years.
"The first time I became a father was when I was 25 years old. At the time, I wasn't clear of my role as a father, because my dad died from a work accident when I was two, so I didn't have a clear idea of what it means to be a parent," he shared.
He added he was working hard in his career and his mindset then was just to earn more to ensure that he could provide for his daughters and give them a good education.
Jet has four daughters: Si, 37, and Taimi, 36, from his first marriage as well as Jane, 25, and Jada, 22, from his second marriage to former Hong Kong actress Nina Li.
Jet said that when he became a father in his second marriage, he was already in his 30s and had different thoughts about parenthood.
He shared: "I felt that I had missed out a lot when it came to accompanying my daughters. My girls [from my first marriage] had grown up so much and were already in school, and when we met, I could only ask how their studies were. It felt like I was just doing my parental duties."
He added that he gave up some of his filming projects as he wanted to spend more time with Jane and Jada.
"Now, I am able to talk to my daughters like we are friends, and we find time to let them talk about my shortcomings and provoke me," Jet laughed. 'I was just a very silly father'
In the process of these conversations, he also learnt to be a better father.
He recounted an incident that his daughters had discussed with him: "There was once when my daughter's tooth fell out. She placed the tooth under her pillow, covered it nicely and said a fairy would send some money to her the next morning.
"I was just a very silly father and told her, 'Don't fret about it, there wouldn't be any money the next morning because unless your parents give it to you, no fairy would come.'
"She cried and I didn't know what to do. As I was growing up, I didn't have such experiences with fairy tales and unrealistic things. My daughter was heartbroken, and I had to really stuff some money under her pillow the next day."
Jet added that his daughters told him that as children, they would have some beliefs about fairy tales and instead of exposing them directly, he should accompany them instead.
As his daughters grew older, they would also share their problems or injuries with him, which he would explain to them from his own experiences.
Jet said: "I would tell them, 'What's so frightening about an injury? Be persistent, I also had many fractures before, nothing to be afraid about.' And they would be very sad, because they feel that when they are injured, they need consolation and care and that I should look at things from their point of view.
"As they were growing up, they told me they would want to talk to me sometimes about certain things, not to get my response but to just have a listening ear."
'Parents hope that their children would exceed themselves'
In a separate video, he reflected on whether to let his daughters pursue their dreams or live up to parents' expectations.
He shared that Jane and Jada grew up with a schedule every day: "This seems to be the culture and society that Asians grow up in, where parents hope that their children would exceed themselves [in their abilities], and feel that this is the best form of love."
He said Jane grew up with life choices meant to please him and his wife, such as studying at Harvard University.
"When she was in her first year of university, she asked me some questions and said that throughout her life, she didn't know what she wanted to do because she always had to fulfil her mother's wishes and ensure her father was happy. So, when it came to choosing her major, she couldn't find what she likes," Jet shared.
He added that many years later, when she graduated from university and they had a talk about it, Jane revealed she would have pursued the arts, instead of going to Harvard.
According to a South China Morning Post report in 2019, Jane majored in East Asian Studies at the prestigious university.
Jet said: "That was when I realised, in my children's education, have I really thought about what she wants or what I want my child to be? Because those are two different things. Is our desire for their success what they really want?"
He added he apologised to Jane, and that he and his wife had thought they knew what was best for her, but that in fact didn't make her happy. He also told Jane he would support her in whatever she does from then on, as long as she is happy.
Jet concluded: "I can't say if my direction is the absolute right or wrong way, but it makes me question whether we really discussed and respected our children's opinions. That's what I reflected on, that perhaps I should have tried to be friends with my daughters earlier and accompany them in the life they wanted."
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